Into the Light
by poeticgrace
Summary: Can his saving grace draw him out of the darkness and back into the light? Nikodine.
1. Chapter 1

One minute he was kissing her and the next minute he was holding her at arm's length. Nikolas could still remember the hot spark of Nadine's lips on his, the disappointment in her eyes as he tried to stifle a surprised laugh, the stunted explanation he tried to offer, the surprising emptiness he felt when she moved out of his arms. Everything in his mind was telling him to push her away, but his body and heart didn't seem to agree. He had felt the way his body had naturally reacted – the way his hands wandered up her back, the low groan that escaped from his mouth as she gave herself so willingly to him, the gentle tilt of his head to give her better access. For once in his life, he had given into temptation and acted without thinking. He had allowed his heart to entertain, if only for the briefest of moments, the fact that he could stand their in living room he had shared with dead fiancée and kiss her and still have it be alright.

Then, reality reared its ugly head, and images of the great love of his life came barreling into his head. He laughed nervously as he gently pushed her away, wanting not to hurt her but needing her to out of his embrace. The kiss was an act of betrayal to her memory. It didn't matter what anyone else told him about what his fiancée would have wanted for him, he was determined to live the rest of his life with the memory of their love. How could he love someone else after the life they had shared together? It didn't seem possible to love someone as he had her. They were something made of fairytales, the kind of thing little girls dream of when they go to sleep at night.

He had tried to offer up a polite excuse and platitudes of their friendship, but she refused to hear it. She didn't want to be just his friend, and if he was honest with himself, he had known it for some time. He had tried to ignore knowing or the gnawing feeling in the depths of his heart that would remind him that he just might reciprocate the growing emotions between them some day. It was easier to write her off as a silly girl on a mission to prove something to him. That was the only way he could ignore the patient way she had with people or how good she had been with his son or the impossible way she refused to give up on him. That was the only way he could ignore her.

However, two hours after she had sheepishly stormed out of his spacious mansion, he couldn't get his mind off her. It had been such a short time but so much had already happened since then. Elizabeth had stopped by first and made him have this grand realization that he hadn't wanted to have for a very long time. After Liz left, he had tried to call Nadine at the clinic but she wasn't there. Just as he was about to dial General Hospital, Claudia had strode in and delivered the heartbreaking but inevitable news that Lulu was slowly starting to slip away just as his mother had years before. It had crushed him immediately, even if it didn't surprise him. Like many things lately, it was something he had saw coming but refused to really see.

Nikolas had explained every painstaking memory he had of Laura's breakdown, from the initial hallucinations to the prolonged bouts of silence to the moment when she quit really living altogether. He had successfully fought back tears as he went over the symptoms with Johnny's sister, consistently urging her to tell the Zacharra heir to get help. Once she had left, he had spent a long time staring out at the window, wondering if Lulu was somewhere safe under the same pale moon. He could only pray that the mobster loved her enough to get her help. Claudia seemed to trust him, and Nikolas could only really go along with them. It wasn't like he knew where Lulu was. The only thing he could really do was sit back and wait.

His first instinct had been to go into the dark of night in search of the blonde nurse. She had been a good sounding board for him many times, especially when it came to his family. Nadine had even showed up at the police station after Lulu had been kidnapped, quietly showing her support. He should have known then how lucky he was to have her in his life, but like a true man, he had been oblivious and ungrateful. This time he refused to be that selfish and burden her with his problems. He had hurt her enough tonight.

After he had made his decision, Nikolas had climbed the stairs to Spencer's room and sat at the foot of his bed for nearly an hour. Watching the little boy sleep always brought a sense of calm to him. He was becoming the spitting image of Nikolas more and more every day, and they enjoyed their time together as father and son. Since Emily's death, his family was all that Nikolas had. Lucky and Elizabeth had been wonderful to both of them, but Nikolas had put too much distance between himself and Lulu. He had let too much go unsaid. He had wanted to believe that she was different from Laura, even when Lucky had repeatedly told him how much they were alike. Nikolas had hoped she had Luke's strength and tenacity, and in some ways she did. However, she had proven to be her mother's daughter in the end.

When the tears had come, he had gone back downstairs as to not wake up his son. The last thing the little boy needed was to find his father a bawling wreck in the middle of the night. He was already asking questions about his missing aunt after accidentally overhearing her name on the evening news. Nikolas wanted to shield him from the darker side of life for as long as possible. He was a Cassadine after all, and there would come a point where he would lose his innocence in the name of his family. Even thinking about the possibility or Lulu losing touch with this world was enough to make the tears fall even harder. Before long, the tears wracked his body, and Nikolas couldn't see, hear or feel anything but darkness.

After awhile, Nikolas managed to calm himself enough to call upstairs to Alfred. He told his trusty butler that he was going to go out for a drive and asked that he keep an ear out for Spencer. He promised that he would be back in time for breakfast and quickly made leave of the house into the cool night air. Nikolas just wanted to be behind the steering wheel of his sleek silver Mercedes and feel the breeze whipping around him. With Nick Drake pouring from the stereo, he wound through the countryside until the city lights came into view and he could make out the sparkling horizon of the harbors.

As he came into Port Charles, he had no idea where he was headed. His first thought was to head over to Lucky's to fill his brother in on what he had learned. He deserved to know everything, but Nikolas just didn't have the energy to do it. How could he break his brother's heart again? He knew he should also call Lesley, Elizabeth, Bobbie, Tracey and Carly. There were a lot of people who were worried about his baby sister. Maybe he should head over to Jake's for a beer first or he could stop by the hospital to see if any of the family was on duty. There were a lot of options, but he knew that wasn't where he was going to go. Instead, he found his car pointed in the direction of a modest-neighborhood full of high-rise apartments.

He stopped at the curb outside her building and stared up at her window. Nikolas had only been here once to drop her off after a shift at the clinic when her car battery had died. She hadn't invited him up, so he had no idea what her apartment looked like. She had only waved to him from her window to let him know he'd gotten in safely. Now, as he looked up at the dark window, he needed to see what it felt like. He needed to have some place feel like home. He needed to feel safe. He needed to forget. He needed so many things, but mostly he just needed her.

Pocketing his keys, Nikolas grabbed his cell phone and headed inside the building. There was no valet waiting to park his car for him or a doorman to announce his arrival. He was able to slip through the building undetected and make it to her floor. The tears had already come back as he drew closer to her. He felt ridiculous for breaking down like this, but he could barely catch his breath. It was like he was having an anxiety attack as he stumbled out of the elevator and down the short hallway to her door. By the time he actually made it to her apartment, his sobs had become so heavy that he actually collapsed at her door. He wanted to call out to her, but he couldn't find his voice. He could only find the same daunting darkness that had haunted him before.

And then, like a radiant beam of light, he felt a warm pair of arms wrap around him. He almost expected to look up and see Emily, but he knew that she wouldn't be there. He knew who would be standing there. He crawled into a ball onto the floor, but even then Nadine didn't let him go. She simply crawled up to his side, wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly as if their very lives depended on it. He could feel the gentle quiver of her body against his as she started to cry with him. She was unashamed at their shared grief. Nadine didn't even need to know why he was crying. She had always been able to take on his emotions as her own.

They didn't move for the longest moment. They just sat huddled together in the doorway of her tiny apartment in the dark. "Let it out," she murmured in a soft voice as she cradled him against her. Her hands rubbed small circles along his spine, willing him to relax and finally give into everything he had kept buried for weeks. She rocked him gently like a small child and whispered gentle words of comfort in his ear.

Nikolas grabbed onto her tighter, not wanting to lose his lifeline. The grief was overwhelming. Nothing made any sense. He couldn't see past this moment. He couldn't' feel anything but sadness. He felt like a scared little kid again, begging for someone to protect him from the harsh reality of his life. No one had been able to save him then, but there was someone on his side now. "Please don't leave me," he repeated over and over again. His voice sounded so small. Gone was the Cassadine Prince with the perfect manners, cool reverie and complete control. This Nikolas was a walking wound that wouldn't easily heal. "Please don't let go."


	2. Chapter 2

After spending nearly ten minutes sitting in the doorway of her apartment simply holding a crying Nikolas in her arms, Nadine eventually managed to coax him into the comforting warmth of her safe haven. She had worked hard when she had first come to Port Charles to create a place that she could call home. The owner of her building had begrudgingly allowed her to paint her walls a bright, sunny yellow and replace all the drapes with gauzy lilac and sage green curtains. She'd torn up the floor and refurbished the wood floors back to their original splendor and meticulously chosen furniture, linens and artwork that complimented her simple but refined taste. She had been careful to include those tiny elements that made a house a home – her hand-knitted baby blanket casually thrown over the back of her favorite overstuffed armchair, a framed photograph of her with her aunt beside her bed, vanilla-scented tea lights sprinkled throughout the apartment, fresh lilac and roses sitting on the middle of her kitchen table. It was a comforting and light place to be, very much the opposite of Wyndamere and Spoon Island.

Nikolas was hunched in the middle of her sofa, his face hidden from her in his hands. Looking at him through the doorway that separated the kitchen and living room, she couldn't help but feel a pang of something familiar in her heart. Just a few hours ago, she had been impulsively kissing him in the middle of his living room and now he was breaking down in the middle of hers. She had been angry with Nikolas for the way he had pushed her away so easily and then heartbroken to find him in the arms of someone else. Nadine had chided herself relentlessly over the past few hours for not interrupting his private moment between Elizabeth and wondered if maybe she was reading too much into the exchange she'd see between the two friends. Her mind was a jumble of conflicting emotions, but as she watched Nikolas now, she only felt compassion and love. She would have given anything to take away the darkness that now resided in his warm brown eyes. However, until Lulu was home, she feared that it was here to stay.

Clutching the mug in her hand, she tentatively entered back into the living room and padded silently across the floor in her bare feet to sit down next to him. Nikolas didn't say anything as he accepted the cup of coffee. He seemed to be avoiding her gaze now as he feigned interest in the hot java. Nadine had made enough coffee in her life to know that hers was nothing special. He just didn't want to spoke of what just happened. She didn't blame him really. She had come to know Nikolas quite well and had watched him struggle with so much. First it had been the loss of his fiancée, then it was the fight for his own life and now he was trying to save his sister. It seemed like Nikolas was always fighting for something, for someone. He had never once asked anyone to fight for him, but Nadine was determined to be his biggest champion. While he was off battling everyone else's demons, she just wanted to take care of him. Some might say it was because she was falling in love with him, but Nadine knew that it was because she had already fallen.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" she asked Nikolas softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't have to look up at him to know that he had shaken his head no. She nodded resolutely before reaching over and taking the cup of coffee from him. His hands were ice-cold and shaking. Holding them tightly in his lap, she turned to him and searched his eyes for a hint of something familiar. She wanted to know that he was still him. "If you're not going to talk about that, why don't we talk about what we can do for your sister? I know that you're a big believer in not dwelling when you can take action, so let's figure out a plan of action. What resources do you have at your fingertips?"

Closing his eyes, Nikolas took a deep breath and swallowed the overwhelming fear and grief that had plagued him minutes before. Nadine was right; he just needed to focus on the things that he could to help his baby sister. "The first thing I guess I should do is get back in contact with Claudia. She is the only one who has spoken with either one of them," he decided. "I can also get in touch with some of employees overseas. If we can get Lulu out of the country, I can get her to a facility in Switzerland that specializes in cases like hers and my mother's. I'll see Johnny with her so that she gets there safely. I know that it's the only way that she'll go willingly. Once she is settled, I can take Spencer overseas and stay there so that she has family nearby."

Although it pained Nadine to think about Nikolas being away from Port Charles for that long, she knew that his family was more important than anything she could be feeling in her heart. "It sounds like you've already thought this through more than you thought," she said encouragingly, squeezing his hand for added emphasis. "They're not going to be able to go through customs undetected. I'm sure that everyone from here to Hong Kong has seen a picture of them by now."

"I can have new identities created for them fairly easily. I'll come up with a few in case they are detected. Lulu has lived her life with several aliases thanks to Luke. She should be used to it now," Nikolas laughed humorlessly. He turned his body slightly toward her, feeling somewhat more receptive to letting her understand how he was feeling. "Johnny will make sure that they are in disguise. He grew up in the mob, he knows what to do. I hate to put her thought this. I hate that I have trust someone else to take care of my baby sister, but what choice do I have? I'm afraid it's the only way. And I know that Lucky is going to hate me for not letting him in on this. I should have gone to him first. I just couldn't…"

Scooting closer to Nikolas, Nadine wrapped her left arm around Nikolas' back and hugged him comfortingly. "Lucky will understand that you were just doing what you think is best for Lulu. The less people that know about this, the better. He's a cop, and this would put him in a bad position. I know that he is her brother too, but you have to protect your family. From what I know about the Spencers, that seems to be a big thing for them," Nadine attempted. "Right now, you just have to focus on what is best for Lulu. The rest of it will care of itself later."

Nikolas wanted to believe Nadine, but he knew that Lucky would still be furious. He hated to be left out of anything when it came to his family, and he prided himself on the Spencer instinct to survive. He had grown up on the run with Luke and Laura and probably knew how to do it better than anyone. However, he had chosen a different place in life, and the last thing Nikolas wanted to worry about was another of his siblings. Lucky had finally gotten his life back on track with two wonderful children and a happy relationship with Sam. He would let his brother know when it was safe for him to know. In the mean time, he would just have to lie and pray that he would be forgiven. "I really shouldn't be dragging you in on this. The last thing you need is to be implicated in this mess," he declared. "I'm sorry that I showed up here like this. It wasn't right of me to put in on you."

"I hate that you are always doing that!" she shouted as she jumped to her feet. Nikolas was visibly taken aback by her sudden outburst. She paced the short length of the living room before stopping in front of him, her hands planted firmly on her slim hips. "I am a grown woman capable of making my own decisions. Whether we are talking about investigating Matt Hunter for counterfeit drugs or being there for you through this, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to protect me, Nikolas. I'm stronger than you think. I've been through a lot in my life, and if I can survive losing my entire family, I can certainly get through this."

An amused smirk slowly crept across Nikolas' handsome features as he gazed up at a red-faced Nadine. He could see the anger and curiosity dancing in her defiant blue eyes. Part of him thought about teasing her, but he thought better of it. She needed honesty if she was ever going to understand where he was coming from. "Will you sit down and listen to me for a minute? I want to explain this to you, but I can't do that if you're not willing to really hear me," he retorted gently. Nadine thought about it for a moment before flopping down to him in a resigned huff. It was his turn to reach for her hand. Her fingers were warm but tense as he ran his thumb over her palm. "You're not the only one who has lost a lot in their life. My entire life has been defined by loss. I don't have either of my parents. The rest of the Cassadine family save for Alexis and the girls is dangerous and insane. I watched my mother slowly lose her mind, the mother of my child died during a horrible plague as she gave birth and my fiancée was brutally killed for the sins of her brother. I've never been able to hold onto anything that I cared about, and now, I am losing my sister."

Nadine started to say something but Nikolas quickly silenced her with further explanation. "I don't want to lose anyone else. The thought of not having Lulu in our lives kills me. It makes me want to protect everyone that I care about, including you. I'm not trying to control you or make choices for you. I just want to keep you safe. When you started going after Matt, a part of me feared that you might be right and he might want to hurt you. That's why I don't want you in the middle of this. I don't want you hurt because of me. I've seen it too much in my life. If you know what I am going to do for Lulu, they might hold you accountable. Your life could be ruined. I am not willing to risk that, Nadine. You mean too much for me to let that happen."

Silence fell over the room as a stunned Nadine tried to gather her thoughts. She had been waiting weeks for Nikolas to finally confess how he felt about her, and now that he finally had, she was left feeling awestruck. She wanted to say so many things, including an apology. However, there was one question that echoed over and over again in her head. "You care about me?"

Nikolas chuckled genuinely this time as he turned to her. He gazed straight in her eyes and nodded slowly. "Of course I do, Nadine. You saved my life in more ways than one," he professed. "I don't know how I care about you, but I do. I can't define it; I just know that it is. I'm not ready to really know what it all means, you know? I don't want to destroy my chances before I'm even ready to have one. That's why I stopped the kiss this afternoon and why I haven't said these things before. You've been pretty open, or at least obvious, about how you feel, but I'm just not built the same way. I have to do things in my own time. This wasn't really the way I planned on telling you this, but I need for you to understand. I need for you to understand me. Can you do that?"

She thought about telling him that she had understood him long ago, back when she realized that he was holding onto the ghost of Emily. She had enough ghosts of her own to understand that. However, she didn't want to invoke his lost love's name in this conversation. It wasn't about Emily anymore, this was about her. "I can do that," she promised with a smile. He closed his eyes and grinned back at her appreciatively. "You know that I care about you, Nikolas. More than you know and maybe more than I should, but I care so much about you and what happens to the people in your life. I can handle this. I am strong. I need for you to trust me. Can you do that?"

He wanted to tell her that his faith in her would he unwavering and that he would never doubt her again, but that would be a lie. No matter how deeply he was capable of loving someone, Nikolas was still a Cassadine in the depths of his heart. He had a natural reflex to be weary of ever fully trusting someone. He hadn't even been able to find that in Emily. However, as Nadine peered up at him with her tussled blonde hair and pert lips, he wanted to give in to trusting her. "I'm going to try,' he said finally. "It's not an easy thing for me, but I really want to trust you. It's not you that I don't even trust. It's me."

"All you can do is try, and that's enough for me," she replied before failing to stifle a big yawn. It was after midnight now, and she had been up since 5 a.m. Nikolas seemed to notice her increasing exhaustion and stood up to go. "You don't have to go, Nikolas. The last thing you need right now is to be alone. Spencer is going to be asleep for hours. Why don't you just get some sleep in my room, and I'll stay here on the couch. Things will look better in the morning, and then you can go home to him and start putting your plan into motion."

Her offer was kind and a part of him thought about taking her up on it. It would be so easy to hide out in the quaint corner of Port Charles that Nadine had carved out as her own. "I really can't. I don't like to be away from Spencer over night," he declined. "Besides, Alfred is off tomorrow, and I don't want him to have to wait for me to get home before heading out. I think I'll just get my car and drive back to Spoon Island."

She wanted to argue with him some more but thought it would be pointless. Instead, she slowly peeled herself from the couch and escorted him to the door. She waited for him to open it but he just leaned against the jamb and studied her face. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? I know you, Nikolas, and you're not going to go back there to sleep. You're going to sit at your desk and obsess over everything. It's not going to do anyone any good if you don't get rest. You need to be focused."

Nikolas hated that Nadine knew him so well in that moment. She had nailed his plans exactly. While it was true that he didn't want to be away from Spencer, he also wanted to be alone so that he could start working on his plan. It was morning in Europe and he could start making contacts early if he went to work now. He would sleep later. It's not like he would be able to do it now. "You're probably right, but I am going to go back to Wyndamere anyhow. Thanks for listening to me tonight."

"Sure, anytime," she smiled as she wrapped him in a hug. Nikolas' arms lingered around her for a long moment before they both pulled away somewhat reluctantly. "Well, call me tomorrow and let me know if there is anything I can do. I'm on in the morning but will be off in the afternoon. I can stop by to help out or take Spencer off your hands. Whatever you need."

Thanking her again, Nikolas promised to call her around lunchtime and hugged her one final time. Nadine tried to keep her fears at bay as she let him out of the apartment and locked the door after him. When he was finally out of her apartment, she sat on the floor with her back firmly against the door, suddenly feeling so alone. She had never felt that way in her apartment, but without Nikolas in it now, it just seemed so empty. He had that effect on her life. Every time he left her, she was instantly wishing that he would come back.

On the other side of the door, Nikolas was resting his flattened palm against the wood as he tried to force himself to leave Nadine and go home. All of his reasons had made sense in there, but his heart didn't seem to care. His heart wanted him to cling to her, let her take care of him, trust her to keep all his secrets, give her everything he was capable of giving to anyone right now. He had been so lonely since losing Emily, but with Nadine, he never felt that way anymore. He felt loved. Every time he around Nadine, he found himself wishing that he could always be with her.

Finally, tentatively, he reached up and knocked on her door again. Nadine must have been standing right there because she yanked it open just as his hand was able to fall back to his side. She gaped at him for a moment before lunging into his arms much like she had in his living room. However, instead of latching onto his lips, she just held him tightly. He hugged her back just as tightly, burying his nose in her softness of her blonde hair. Finally, he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against hers. "Will you come home and just sit with me? I want you there."

Nadine nodded happily before hugging him again, relieved that he was finally letting her all the way in. She had fought for this moment. There was no way she was going to let him go through this alone.


	3. Chapter 3

It was after 4 a.m. by the time Nikolas had worn himself out enough to finally give into the sleep that had plagued him for hours now. He had fought the temptations to collapse into a deep slumber somewhere around 2 a.m., hoping against hope that his sister would come to her senses and finally call him. Then, he started to worry that maybe Lulu was already too far gone to realize what was happening to her. For the longest time, the family's biggest fear was that their youngest would become just like her mother. Nikolas and Lucky had spoken of it often, each wondering what they would do if that time were to ever come. Now, as he slept restlessly on his sofa in the memory-laden sitting room, he knew exactly what he would have to do. He would have to wait.

Nadine had tried to convince him to sleep more than once but mostly kept quiet as he let loose all the thoughts and fears tumbling around in his mind. She was patient as he regaled the history of his mother's fight with psychosis and pondered possible courses of action for his younger sister. She had quickly realized that Nikolas didn't really need anyone to give him advice. He needed someone to be his sounding board, to help him make sense of so many senseless things. He needed someone that could justify the way that he felt and how lost he had become in such a short time. Nadine knew that Emily had long played that part in his life, and now, he had quietly passed that torch onto her. It was a monumental moment in some ways, and she wasn't about to take that lofty responsibility too lightly.

True to his word, he had paced around the living room for quite some time, alternating between sips of warm brandy and long diatribes about anything and everything under the sun. He asked rhetorical questions that didn't have answers and paused at odd moments to stare at the dancing flames in his overly ornate fireplace. She sat cross-legged on the couch, hands clutching a sifter of her own, and simply listened. She asked questions at the appropriate time and kept silent when she could see that he was trying to work something out in his head. When he eventually came back to sit on the couch next to her, she turned to him and let him nearly talk himself to sleep. Finally, when the tears resurfaced again, she wrapped her arms around his shaking body and drew him into a peaceful embrace.

Using the same gentle and soothing affection usually reserved for the pediatric patients at General Hospital, she managed to coax him into lying down beside her. Resting her head in his lap like a little boy, Nikolas listened as Nadine talked about her childhood in the Midwest in a soft, steady tone. She stroked his hair as she spun tales of growing up with the infamous Aunt Rayleen and reminisced on times when her sister had been someone actually worth loving. It comforted Nikolas to know that a child's life could truly be surrounded by so much light. His own upbringing had been terribly dark, and his biggest fear had been brining Spencer up in the same sinister world. Hearing Nadine's stories made him hopeful for so many things, a feeling that he had not felt in a very long time. Her optimism had been infectious since she had met him and that was something he wanted to instill in his son someday.

Now, as Nikolas slept in her lap, Nadine kept running her fingers through his hair rhythmically, determined to do anything she could do to bring him peace. Wyndamere was eerily quiet at this hour, not that there was ever much activity bustling in the mausoleum. She could hear the howling wind rustling in the elm trees outside in the courtyard and the faint call of a ship coming into the nearby harbor. She thought about falling asleep but knew that it was almost time for her to get up for her shift at GH anyhow. The last thing she wanted to do was leave Nikolas in this condition but she knew that he likely wouldn't let her stay. Knowing him, he would wake up slightly embarrassed for being so vulnerable and emotionally open anyhow. Closing her eyes, she promised herself that she would only doze for a few minutes as she sunk her head back into the plush cushion.

Minutes turned into nearly an hour before a cry from above awoke Nadine with a startle. She forgot where she was for a moment before feeling the weight of a sleeping Nikolas still resting against her thighs. A second cry came again, and Nadine recognized immediately as Spencer's. She waited for Nikolas to wake up, but his restless sleep had become much more fitful since she drifted off. Maneuvering him off her lap, she pulled a blanket over his body before crawling up the stairs toward Spencer's bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed when she came in, his face buried in his knees as he clung desperately to a tattered plaid blanket.

"Oh, honey, did you have a bad dream?" she asked softly, slowly prying his hands from his face so that she could gather the small boy in his arms. He nodded against her as he pressed his face into her shoulder. Spencer didn't even ask why she was at his house or where his father was. Nadine knew that the little boy had always liked her and had taken to her instantly the first time they'd played with his train set in the living room. She started to rub her hands over his back as they rocked together on his bed. "It's okay, you're safe. I'm here now."

Spencer started to slowly tell her what had happened in his nightmare. He was still visibly shaken as he recounted the scary ghosts that had chased him in his dream and how he hadn't been able to find Nikolas to save him. Tears shone in his dark eyes as he expressed his anxiety, and Nadine did her best to comfort the young boy just as she had his father. "It was really scary," he told her. "I kept trying to find Daddy, but he wasn't anywhere. I could hear him calling out to me, but I was all by myself."

"You don't have to worry," she promised as he buried his face back into her shoulder, soaking the thin cotton of her tee with his tears. "You're not alone, honey. Your daddy is right downstairs asleep on the couch, and he's not going anywhere. Everything is fine. The monsters aren't real, they can't get you."

Wiping away his chocolate brown eyes with the back of his hand, Spencer peered wearily up at Nadine. "Will you stay with me until I fall back asleep?" he pleaded as she settled him off her lap and back beneath the covers. Nadine arranged the blanket around his chin and pressed the hair away from his face. There was no way she could deny him, even if she wanted to. She easily agreed to stay with him until he fell asleep and snuggled beneath the thick comforter beside him. "Thanks for coming up to get me."

His sleepy tone brought a small smile to Nadine's face as she wrapped her arm around the small child. "I will always be here if you need me," she proclaimed confidently. Even if she was nothing more than a friend to Nikolas, she would do anything for his little boy. He had already lost so much at a young age, a trait that sadly mirrored his father all too much. "Why don't we close our eyes now and when you wake up, I will make you and your daddy chocolate chip pancakes?"

A wide grin spread across his face as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Nadine giggled at his over exaggerated antics and tickled his sides lightly. Spencer laughed loudly in response, his high-pitched chuckled echoing up toward the high ceilings. His laugh only made her giggle louder and harder, and before either of them knew it, they were both breathless and gasping for air.

Nikolas awoke with a startle as he heard laughter floating down the stairs. He sat up sleepily and looked around the room from Nadine, but he heard her before he could see her. Following the sounds of shared laughter up the staircase, he padded down the hallway and stopped just outside Spencer's door to listen to the two of them. "Alright, we better get some sleep now if you are ever going to get those pancakes."

"Okay," Spencer agreed reluctantly. Nikolas could see his son turn to Nadine through the slightly cracked door. Spencer threw his arms around Nadine and hugged her tightly. It wasn't loss on Nikolas how easily the little boy showed affection toward her. It was clear that he was comfortable and trusted the blonde nurse. The image sent warmth through Nikolas' body because it was the first time since Emily had died that he had seen his son seem so at ease with anyone other than him. "Good night, Nadine."

"Good night, Spencer," she retorted as she absently kissed the top of the boy's head. Nadine waited a few minutes, occasionally looking down at her bedmate to see if he was asleep. Spencer fell asleep rather quickly, his breaths light and even. She contemplated crawling out of bed to return to Nikolas but relished the feeling of the little boy in her arms. She had always wanted to be a mother, and being around kids all day at the hospital had brought out the nurturer in her even more. Just as she was about to pry herself from beneath Spencer, she caught Nikolas gazing at her from the doorway. "Hi," she mouthed to him.

"Hey," he whispered as he came into the room and knelt by the bedside to talk to her. His voice was hushed as to not wake his son, but the intimacy of his tone did something unexpected to her. "You could have woken me up, I would have taken care of him."

"He just had a bad dream," she brushed him off. "You need your sleep, and I love taking care of people. Spencer just needed a little TLC, no big deal. He's asleep now, don't worry."

"You're good with him."

"Thanks," she blushed, trying not to shake too much as he tucked a blonde tendril behind her ear. "It's pretty hard not to fall in love with him. You have an amazing kid here, Nikolas. I know you realize how blessed you are to have him in your life."

Nikolas nodded in agreement. "I do," he acknowledged. "He is the very best of both his mother and me. You didn't know Courtney, but she was a pretty incredible woman. I always thought it would have to take someone like that to make me love anyone other than Emily. I didn't really expect her, you know, but she still happened to me. Part of me regrets the time I spent away from Em, but one look at that little boy and I know that we were together for all the right reasons, even if it was only for a moment. He has her free spirit and kind generosity and big heart."

"Spencer is definitely those things, but don't sell yourself short," she implored. "You are those things, too. You've taught your son how to take those qualities and translate them into how he treats the people around him. I've watched the way he looks at you. He wants to be just like you. You are the single most important person in his life, the one person in this world he can count on."

"How is it that you always see the very best version of me?" he asked with a slight smirk. Nadine shrugged coyly and quirked an eyebrow. "You amaze me sometimes. You even made me forget about my sister for a little while. I have to remember not to lose sight of Spencer through all of this. I didn't put him first like I should have for months. It was always something – my illness or Emily's death. I was too wrapped up in myself to be the father that I needed to be."

Adjusting herself so that she could pull her arm from beneath Spencer, Nadine turned on her side to fully face Nikolas. She reached out and cupped his cheek lightly, hoping that he wouldn't recoil at her touch. "You're allowed to not be perfect, Nikolas. I know there is this image in your head that you think that you need to live up to, but I promise that is not the way that Spencer sees you. It's not the way Lucky or Lulu see you either. The people that really love you see you for who you are. You're a kind and generous man who makes mistakes but learns from them. You're not the Cassadine family. You're not a prince. You're just you."

"I wish I could believe that," he sighed wearily. The first rays of the morning sun were beginning to creep into the bright room. He noticed the way the light shone over her hair, casting an angelic halo of the crown of her blonde strands. He reached up to touch the place where her hand still rested on the side of his face. Tangling her slender fingers in his, he brought her hand up to his lips and brushed a kiss over the knuckles. "Thank you for being my friend, Nadine. I'm really glad that you refused to let me be alone when that was the only thing I thought I wanted in the world."

Nadine simply nodded before looking down at the stainless steel diver's watch hanging loosely around her wrist. "I can't believe it's already after five. I should really be getting up and back to my apartment. I'm supposed to be over at the hospital for my shift in less than an hour. Epiphany will kill me if I'm late again. She's already threatened to start docking my pay for every minute I'm late."

"I'll just have to talk to Nurse Johnson to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Nikolas," she warned all the while trying to hide her smile.

"Hey, what good is having a place on the hospital board if I can't help out the people that I care about?" he asked. "Besides, you don't have to worry about going in today. I called Elizabeth a half-hour ago to tell her that you weren't going to make your shift. She agreed to find one of the new interns to cover it."

_There it is again_, Nadine thought. She hated that he was always making these decisions for her. Even if he had explained to her earlier, she still needed him to understand that he couldn't run her life. "You shouldn't have done that," she replied pointedly. "I don't have that many vacation days, and I really need the money. I can't just go wasting my days off because I made the choice to stay up all night with you. I could have managed to get through a half-day shift just fine."

Nikolas resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he stared at her seriously. "First of all, I will make sure that this doesn't count against you. If Dr. Ford gives you any grief, I will just inform him that I had you fill in at the clinic, and before you argue with me, I'm gong to do it anyhow so you might as well get used to it," he informed her. "Second of all, I didn't ask Liz to find someone for you just because I thought you would be tired. I have a lot of decisions I am going to have to make about Lulu today, and I'm going to need you to help me. I can't do this without you, Nadine. I needed you to stay home for me."

"Oh," she murmured sheepishly, dropping her eyes to avoid his gaze. She was slightly shocked when Nikolas boldly tilted her chin to force her to look at him again. "I'm sorry, I just don't want you to think that you need to save me…"

"Don't you see?" he asked gravely. His voice was filled with such desperation that Nadine almost didn't recognize the man kneeling before her. He wasn't stoic or graceful or confident. He was wide open to her. "Don't you see that I need you to save me?"

That question made Nadine want to kiss Nikolas. She wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. Instead, she pulled back the blanket and managed to move Spencer to the far side of the bed next to the wall. Turning on her side, she lay like a spoon behind the little boy and wrapped her arms around him. "Get in," she ordered without looking back at him over her shoulder. She soon felt the weight of Nikolas on the small toddler bed as he slid beneath the sheets beside her. His arms wrapped easily around her and his son, embracing the three of them like a warm cocoon. Nikolas sighed happily as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his warm breath tickling the fine hairs at the nape of her neck. "Hey, Nikolas?"

"Hmm?"

"We'll save each other."


	4. Chapter 4

Even before she opened her eyes, Nadine knew that she was alone. She could feel Spencer still pressed against her stomach, but her back was cool and absent of Nikolas' comforting warmth. A part of her didn't want to wake up. She dreaded knowing that she was right and that he had already pulled away from her. It had only taken a few hours for him to realize that he was betraying Emily's memory or that his curse as a Cassadine would put her in harm's way. There were a million justifications she knew that he could use to justify his absence, and Nadine hated every single one of them. She couldn't keep chasing a ghost and she couldn't beat generations of insanity. She could only try to love him as her heart would allow.

Her arm was numb as she managed to wrangle it from underneath a heavily sleeping Spencer. She admired the innocence of the small child, wishing for a moment that she could be as oblivious to all the darkness in the world that surrounded him. Nadine knew that he wasn't completely unaffected by the tragedy that had afflicted his life from the very day that he was born, but he still had many years before he would realize just how deeply all of this would affect him. Only now was she starting to realize what losing her parents had done to her life. She could only pray that Spencer would be spared much of the pain she had endured in her twenty-five years.

Climbing down the stairs, she tried to be as quiet as possible so that she could sneak up on Nikolas. She needed to gauge his mood before she would know how to react to waking up without him beside her. He had been so open to her only hours before, but she knew that it was his natural instinct to recoil into himself. As she paused on the landing, she wasn't at all surprised to see him curled up in a ball on the overstuffed chair next to the picture window. Like many of Port Charles' finest brooding men, Nikolas found peace in staring out over the water. He clutched a familiar picture frame in his hand as he gazed down at the image smiling up at him, lightly tracing the lines of Emily's face.

"Good morning," Nadine called softly as she came the rest of the way down the stairs and into the sitting room. Nikolas looked up at her briefly before returning his eyes to the photograph. "Spencer is still asleep upstairs. It was kind of lonely waking up without you."

"I'm sorry," Nikolas apologized politely. Nadine hated when he put on this formal front with her. It was his reflex, she understood, but it wasn't authentic. It wasn't who Nikolas really was. It was only who he was taught to be. "I wanted to call and check in with a few of the doctors at Shadybrook to see if they had any recommendations for me. I've given enough money to that place over the years that they agreed to give me a few referrals for some great doctors just outside Zurich."

Nadine walked hesitantly closer to Nikolas and perched herself on the edge of the table beside his chair. She wanted to reach out for his hand and feel the connection that had been so strong just a few hours earlier, but his hands were tightly folded around the edges of that damn frame. It was unreasonable to hate an inanimate object, but Nadine hated that frame. "What can I do to help you?"

"You could look over the list of doctors and facilities if you want," he offered. His dark eyes were now fixed on the sparkling harbor, the picture pressed firmly over his heart. Nadine reached forward tentatively attempted to pry the frame from his hands. Nikolas looked at her with panic in his eyes before snapping it out of her reach. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Nikolas, you need to let go."

Anger sparked from him as he shifted away from her. He couldn't believe that she could be so insensitive to Emily's memory and all the things that she meant to him. It was clear that Nadine had never truly been in love or she would realize that you don't just let go of someone like that. "Look, I know what I told you last night, and I meant it. I really do," he tried to explain. "But I will not just let go of Emily. She is apart of me and she always will be. If you're going to be in my life, that's something you need to understand right now. I need you to help me, but I will not give her up. Not even for you."

"Did I ask you to give her up?" she nearly shouted before realizing that Spencer was still upstairs. She brought her voice down to a softer level but maintained the same angry, defiant tone. "That's not what I meant at all. We all know that you are going to love Emily for the rest of your life – even if I ever had any doubts, you have made it abundantly clear. I never said that you shouldn't love her. I just think that you need to let go a little bit, Nikolas, if you're ever going to be able to do this on your own."

Jutting out his chin, he was determined to make her see what was so clear to him. "I don't want to do this on my own, Nadine," he countered. "If it helps me get through the possibility that I could lose my sister, I am going to think about Emily. I am going to ask her to watch over Lulu. I am going to ask her to do all the things that I can't. I can't just let go because you want me to. That's not the way things work."

A small tear slipped from her denim blue eyes, and Nikolas immediately felt guilty. He wanted to make her understand, but he didn't want to hurt her. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her. He just didn't know how to do this. "Nikolas," she whispered. "I just want you to let go of her so that you can hold onto me."

Her soft confession was enough to make Nikolas set the frame down in the window sill and reach for Nadine. She was trying so hard, and he was only making it more difficult for her. He had committed to letting her help him get through this last night, and he was already pushing her away this morning. Pulling her into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her torso and cradled her against his body. He held her much like she had last night when he had wept openly in her doorway. "I'm holding you now," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "and I will keep on holding you as long as you let me. Just promise me that you won't let go."

"I'm not going to leave you," she promised tearfully, her voice wavering with her solemn vow. "You've tried really hard to push me away, and I haven't left you yet. I promised that I would stand by your side no matter what – even if you only wanted me as your friend. Loving someone means making a sacrifice. I know that you are going to tell me that you don't want me to give up anything for you, but I'm not. I'm gaining so much more."

Nikolas gently pressed her face away from his shoulder and peered down at her intently for a moment before swooping down to capture his lips with hers. It was soft and insistent, complex and promising. She pressed her hands on either side of his face as he fisted her hair in his hands. The moment went on for a few minutes before they both pulled away, completely spent by the intensity of the entire situation. "You are so beautiful," he mused softly as he ran his hands along her bare arms. Nadine shivered under his touch as she cuddled closer to him. "I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize," she assured him. Nikolas opened his mouth to say something but she quickly silenced him with another brief kiss. He moaned in protest against her lips as she pulled away, his mouth curving into a smile. "Now then, where is that list?" Reaching to the floor beside the chair, Nikolas handed over the list of names. Nadine scanned them quickly, recognizing one. Her face lit up in realization. "I know this woman."

Looking down to which name her index finger was pointing at, he looked up at her skeptically. "How do you know a world-renowned psychiatrist from Switzerland?" he inquired. Nadine never ceased to amaze him. She was full of surprises and just when he thought he had her figured out, she would throw him a curveball like this one. "What can you tell me about her?"

"I worked with her when I was still going to nursing school down in Texas. I did a rotation at a mental facility, and she was there conducting research on a group of patients suffering from psychosis. I didn't last very long on the ward, but I spent a few weeks assisting her. She is amazing."

"Really," Nikolas drawled, reading over the name again. He made a mental note to have his contacts in Europe check in with the doctor and start making plans to possibly have Lulu transferred there once he was able to get to her. "You really are incredible, Nadine. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me the last few days. Someday, I will find a way to make all of this up to you."

Smiling brightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his. "Just hold onto me, that's all I need," she proclaimed before tilting her chin for another kiss. Nikolas reacted immediately, pulling her even closer to him. His hands roamed over her sides as she turned her head slightly to allow him better access. It was Nadine's turn to groan against his mouth, losing herself in the pure lust of wanting him for months. Her hunger for him was insatiable at this point. She craved anything he was willing to give to her.

"Okay, okay, okay," Nikolas muttered breathlessly as he pulled back from her. The last thing he wanted to do was rush things, especially the state that he was in. He needed to pull back just a little so that they didn't crash and burn before they even had the chance to take off. He didn't have to make any excuses though because his cell phone soon interrupted them. Nadine didn't wait for him to answer it as she plucked it from his pocket. "Hey!"

"Hello, Mr. Cassadine's phone," she purred sexily, causing an image of a buttoned-up secretarial Nadine to flash naughtily in Nikolas' head. She locked her eyes on him and smiled demurely. "How may I service you?"

"Who is this?" a woman's voice snapped.

Nadine didn't recognize it as Alexis, Lulu, Elizabeth, Sam or anyone else she had seen around Nikolas. "Who is this?"

"Give the phone to Nikolas," the voice ordered harshly. "Now."

"Gosh, you could have said please," Nadine retorted sarcastically before handing the cell phone over to Nikolas. An amused grin played on his lips as he pressed the phone to his ear. Nadine wanted to be nosy and try to hear what was being said but opted instead to make herself scarce. "I'm just going to go up and check on Spencer."

Nikolas shook his head as he locked his arm around her. "Stay," he mouthed, pleading her with his eyes. "What do you want, Claudia?" She watched him listen to the woman on the other end of the line, knowing that she had to be calling about Johnny and Lulu. Nikolas closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, clearly upset. "When do you think they'll get there?" He paused again to wait for her answer. "I will meet you there. Don't tell anyone else about it. This needs to stay between us."

With those ominous words, Nikolas ended the call and tossed his cell phone to the floor below. "She heard from Johnny," he explained finally. "Lulu is doing worse. He's bringing her back to Port Charles to get help. Johnny doesn't think that she can wait any longer, so he's convinced her to go to Shadybrook on the condition that he goes onto Vancouver without her. Claudia is going to help him escape. I'm supposed to meet her there in a half-hour."

Knowing that it would take as long for him to get from Spoon Island to the facility, Nadine slid off Nikolas lap and stood in front of him. "You need to go now," she told him, reaching down to pull him to his feet. "I will stay with Spencer until you can come home."

Shaking his head again, Nikolas wouldn't let go of her hands. "I need you to go with me. I can't do this alone," he confessed. "Lulu is going to get there, and I'm going to see her completely broken. I'll have to be brave for her, but I am so scared. Please, will you go with me just to make sure I do everything right? I need to take care of my baby sister."

She nodded against his shoulder as she pulled him into a quick hug. "I'll be by your side every step of the way," she promised. "Now, why don't you go upstairs and get ready? I'll call up to Alfred's room to see if he can stay with Spencer until someone else can get here, and then I'll get in touch with your brother to have him meet us there."

He was already halfway up the stairs when he stopped to look back at her. "Call Elizabeth and see if she will come pick up Spencer. He can stay with her until we come home," he decided. "Ask Lucky to get Bobbie. Luke is still missing, and Tracy has gone after him. Bobbie is the closest thing she has to parent that's here."

Jotting his orders down on a piece of paper, she waved him on up the stairs before setting to making the calls. Alfred agreed to stay as long as he was needed and promised her that he would get Spencer up and ready to go. Elizabeth planned to come over to the island as soon as she could get another nurse to cover her shift. Lucky was on his way to Shadybrook before they even hung up the phone. Nadine had also called Bobbie, afraid that Lucky'd wreck on the way to the hospital with the adrenaline that he was running on. The older woman promised that she would meet them there.

Nikolas came flying down the stairs a minute later, his fingers trying to work the buttons on his dress shirt as he sprinted through the living room. His shirt was crooked as he searched his desk drawers for a set of keys. Nadine calmly paced over and gently nudged him out of the way. She found his keys easily and pocketed them without any protest from him. "You're clearly too wound up to get us there safely," she told him as she set to fixing the buttons on his shirt. Under any other circumstances, she would enjoy dressing him, but this was definitely out of the ordinary. When she pulled the final button through the loop, she patted his chest and smiled up at him triumphantly. "There, now we can go."

Following her obediently to his silver sports sedan, Nikolas was in awe of how calm and reserved she could be. He was a bumbling mess, the complete opposite of his usual cool demeanor. She was calm and collected, a far cry from the spunky klutz he knew and loved. Like always, they were total opposites, but he knew that she had adapted herself to be who he needed right now. As she reversed the car out of the garage and headed up the driveway, she reached across the seat and took his hand. "Just hold on to me, I'll get us there."


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Nikolas finally made his way from Spoon Island, the sky had turned a menacing shade of slate, a hue befitting his harsh mood. Rain was just starting to fall down, sprinkling his pristine windshield with huge droplets of water. He had always had a strange love affair with the rain. Emily had always said that it was a Cassadine thing. His family thrived on stormy conditions. Nikolas felt most at home in his own skin when the skies looked as though they could swallow up the earth any minute. It always reminded him just how small everything really was.

Turning the car down a winding country road, he glanced sideways at the beautiful young woman riding shotgun. She was still oblivious to his affection for destructive weather. There were so many things about him she still didn't know. He knew that it was only a matter of time before those dark things came out. His warnings would scare most women but not Nadine. His words did nothing to faze him. They only seemed to make her want to protect him that much more. She could clearly see something in him that he couldn't see in himself. Emily had been a lot like her in that way. If two such incredible women believed that he was worth saving, there had to be some truth to it. He had let one of those women save him once, and now, he was trying to decide if he was brave enough to be saved again. As he watched her hum along to the soft rock song pouring from his state-of-the-art stereo, he wanted to be brave enough for Nadine.

"I don't know what I am supposed to say to her," he announced softly before reaching forward to click off the radio. The sudden absence of noise caused Nadine to turn and look at him for the first time in awhile. She had been lost in her own thoughts since they had reached the mainland. "Lulu, I mean. I don't have any clue what I am walking into here. My first instinct is going to be to want to protect her from everything that's hurt her, and right now, Johnny is included on that list. But I also know my sister, she is going to cling to him. How can I make her see?"

Nadine looked out the window for a moment and smiled at the irony of his words. She had spent months trying to get Nikolas see that sometimes letting go is the best thing for you. She had watched him cling desperately to memories that he would never be able to get back. She had known that it wasn't healthy for him to hold on so tightly, but she also knew that he wouldn't let go until he was ready. "You can't make her feel something just because you want her to feel it," she tried to explain. "Johnny is her lifeline. She doesn't think that she can do this without him. No matter what you or anyone else thinks, she'll never believe that he has contributed to this. Maybe he hasn't. Maybe, just maybe, he has been the one thing that has kept her from going under completely."

Biting down on his bottom lip, Nikolas contemplated her explanation. There was no arguing, Lulu was in love with Johnny. She saw something in him that others didn't see. He could relate to that if he would let himself. It wasn't exactly comforting to connect his darkest qualities to the man that was in love with his baby sister. Still, with Nadine's reasoning, he could understand why Lulu needed him. The woman next to him had kept him from drowning in his own sorrow more than once. "I won't take him away from her then," he said simply. "She needs him."

Nadine nodded resolutely as Nikolas turned off the main road and onto a dusty access road. "What are you doing?" she asked, unsure of where they were going. She may have been fairly new to Port Charles, but she knew that this was the opposite direction of Shadybrook. When he pulled the car to a stop altogether, she was completely confused. "Nikolas, where are we?"

Pulling the key from the ignition, Nikolas swung his door open and stepped onto the gravel. His leather Italian loafers were immediately scuffed, but for the first time in his life, he didn't care how dirty he got or what he looked like. Jogging around to the other side of the car, he yanked open Nadine's door and pulled her from the car. She stumbled slightly with the sudden force, trying her best to regain balance as she stood up. He reached forward and rested his hands squarely on her shoulder before looking her over. Her unwashed hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, yesterday's makeup still smudged around her pristine blue eyes. She had pulled on one of his white button-up shirts over her lacy camisole, the hem just barely skimming the thigh of her faded jeans. She was far from perfect, not at all the image of the princess he had always imagined himself with. He'd had his princess once, but he didn't want that anymore. He wanted something new, something different. There was no defining he wanted – he just wanted _her_.

Wrapping his hands around her waist, Nikolas pulled her flush against his body and danced her backward until she was pressed against the dusty car. Water poured down around them, quickly soaking them both thoroughly. He had been on edge all day, but Nikolas suddenly felt completely in control. Nadine moved against him as his mouth sought hers, her hands gliding up his back until they were lost in his dark locks. His fingers reciprocated as they tangled in her blond hair, setting it free from the satin ribbon that held it away from her face. A low groan escaped from deep in her throat as he lifted her off the ground. Their movements were primal and animalistic but intensely heartfelt and soulful. Finally, when Nadine felt like her lips were going numb, she gently pressed Nikolas back and let herself fall back to the ground.

"Um, wow," she laughed, covering her mouth in disbelief as she walked a few feet away from the car. She turned around and looked at him for a long moment. A pleased grin painted his handsome face as he gazed back at her. "What was that about?"

"Sorry," he apologized automatically, his years of etiquette training come back to him. "I'm not sure what got into me. I guess your advice must have got to me because once I started to process your words, I finally got why you had been pushing me so hard these past few months. I always thought that you didn't understand what I needed, but now I see that you knew exactly what was right for me."

Nadine walked back toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him again, this time slowly and deeply. "That may be the most romantic thing any man has ever said to me," she confided giddily. Nikolas enjoyed how emotionally open she was. She didn't try to hide who she was. She gave it to him willingly like a gift that he should treasure. "And as much as I want to show you exactly how much it meant to me, we really need to go. You can try to put it off for as long as you want by making these grand romantic declarations, but your sister still needs you. You can't avoid this one, Nikolas. You trusted me enough to know that I know what you need, and I am telling you that you need to be there when Lulu gets to Shadybrook."

They had almost had their perfect moment, but the fates were a cruel mistress. He was destined to be somewhere else. His only comfort was that he wouldn't have to go there alone. Neither of them said anything as he opened her car door for her and she slid into the seat. He got back behind the wheel, started the ignition and pulled the sleek vehicle back onto the main road. She eventually leaned forward again to turn the radio back on, but as she settled back into her seat, she reached across the console and took his hand. She knew exactly what he needed in that moment. He needed for her to hold his hand.

Ten short minutes later, Nikolas pulled the car into his usual spot in a parking lot that he had been in far too many times. For a brief time two years ago, he had believed that he would never have to return to the psychiatric hospital. He had been foolishly optimistic that a modern miracle had given Laura back to him. He'd wanted for his entire family. He wanted Luke to have the love of his life. He had wanted Lucky to have the woman who had made a life on the run seem like an adventure. He had wanted Lulu to have the person she looked up to most in the world. He had wanted Cameron and Spencer to have the grandmother who would love them so unconditionally. He had wanted himself to have the mother that he had missed out on for so many years.

They had gotten to have all of that for a few glorious weeks, a time he would cherish for the rest of his life. He still missed Laura every single day. He would visit her every week just to tell her all the things that she wasn't getting to be apart of. He'd show her photographs of Spencer and tell her stories about his latest achievements. He'd tell her how much he missed Emily. He'd confide in her about Nadine and how excited he was about the clinic. Anything and everything that he was afraid to share with someone else, he would tell to his mother. And as silly as it was, he still waited for her to stop rocking sometimes and look up at her with that brilliant smile. He still waited for her to say something back.

Now, he was afraid that it was only a matter of time before he would be visiting Lulu at the same hospital, showing her the same photographs and telling her the same stories. His sister's single biggest fear was coming true. His fear couldn't even begin to compare to the terror that she must be feeling. As he turned off the motor and stared up at the looming building before him, he looked for a sign that everything would be alright. He just wanted to see something that would tell him that he was doing the right thing. When nothing came, he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. Just then, Nadine leaned across the seat and hugged him tightly. "You're doing the right thing."

Hand in hand, they walked slowly up the sidewalk, huddled beneath a small umbrella. They were both still wet from their earlier interlude, but Nikolas didn't care. He didn't care about anything other than her hands in his. When they were safely inside the hospital, Nadine collapsed the umbrella while he signed them in. He could see Claudia waiting inside the visitors' lounge, her dark hair covering her face. Taking Nadine's hand again, he guided her into the small room and sat down opposite of the mob princess. "What is their estimated time of arrival?"

"What is she doing here?" Claudia snapped as she looked up finally. She had expected Nikolas to come alone. The less people that knew about this, the better for everyone involved. The last thing she wanted to worry about was some random little twit blabbering to the officials when the guilt got to be a little too much. "You need to make her leave."

Nikolas opened his mouth to say something, but Nadine quickly interrupted him. "I'm staying," she said matter-of-factly, not at all backing down to Claudia's threatening stare. "You can look at me like that all you want, but I'm not going to leave Nikolas. He asked me to come with him, and I intend to stay right by his side. I get that you're worried about Johnny. I would feel the same way if I were in your place. You can be angry at me all you want if it makes you feel better. Just know that I'm not leaving."

"What is it with this town and blondes?" Claudia grumbled to herself. First Lulu, then Carly and now this chick – there was always a blonde somewhere who needed to shut her mouth. "Look, I don't care if you're here, but you better stay out of the way and keep this quiet. It doesn't really matter to me what happens with that whack job, but I won't have my brother put in danger because of you."

"Yes, because I am clearly the reason he would be in trouble," Nadine rolled her eyes. "Believe it or not, I don't want anything to happen to Johnny. I don't have anything against him. I actually believe that he loves Lulu and has been trying to take care of her as best as he could. The only thing I am worried about right now is getting her help."

Nikolas looked up at Claudia for a moment, waiting for the dark vixen to make some smart comeback. "It's clear that we all have our reasons for being here. Nadine came here for me. She won't say anything," he assured Claudia as he squeezed Nadine's hand supportively. "Now, I will ask you again. How long until they get here?"

Just as the words had escaped Nikolas' mouth, Johnny burst through the front door with Lulu in his arms. He had called ahead, so a team of doctors was already in place. Nikolas watched through glass window as the two spoke to each other, clearly fighting. He knew that his sister wouldn't want to stay without Johnny, but he must have convinced her because she eventually turned away from him long enough for him to escape back out the door. Claudia made a move to leave just as Lulu sprinted forward and Johnny threw the door back open. As he was about to reach for her, a team of cops busted out of the office and pulled them apart.

Nikolas sprung to action as Lulu began to yell and scream hysterically, fighting angrily as a pair of orderlies tried to restrain her. Claudia was at her brother's side, shouting demands at the cops reading Johnny's right as they handcuffed him. Lulu and Johnny kept screaming at each other, only adding to the chaos in the room. Nikolas tried to convince the doctors to let go of his sister, his voice raising several decibels the angrier he got. Scott Baldwin was grandstanding nearby, rattling off commands as he watched the entire situation with an amused smile. The whole thing was enough to make Nadine sick.

Stepping between Nikolas and the orderlies, she gently pressed him behind her. "Stop," she told the orderlies softly. The two men looked at her in confusion. "You aren't going to be able to get her calmed down like this. Just let go of her." Looking to the acting doctor, they both moved away when he nodded. Nadine had met the doctor on several occasions while working on various cases at General Hospital. She went to work quickly removing the straightjacket from Lulu's shaking body, letting it fall to a heap to the ground. She took the frightened young woman by the hand and led her from the room, doing her best to drown out the incessant screams filling her ear. When Lulu was finally out of sight of Johnny, she fell to the ground and curled up into a ball. Nadine sat down beside her, wrapping her arms around her body and rocking her gently. "Nikolas is going to make sure Johnny is safe," she promised. "They both just need you to calm down, Lulu. Please, can you do that for them?"

Lulu nodded like a lost little girl as she looked over Nadine's shoulder. Nikolas was on the other side of the door trying to reason with the policemen holding onto Johnny. She could tell that they were calmer than they had been, calming her down slightly. She soon felt another pair of arms wrap around her as someone shifted her away from Nadine and into their own embrace. Looking up, she was relieved to see Lucky's familiar azure eyes gazing down at her. "Lucky," she breathed, burying her face into his shirt. Elizabeth was at his side. "Lucky, I'm scared."

Nadine heard Lucky start to murmur his reassurance as she slipped from the room. She returned to Nikolas' side as he negotiated with the cops. "Just let them go," she whispered softly into his ear as she sidled up next to him. He looked down at her with confusion. "Claudia will take care of Johnny. Let her do her job as his sister. Your sister needs you in there. Do your job as her brother. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I know that this is what you would tell me."

With a final defiant stare at Scott Baldwin, Nikolas stormed out of the room, pulling Nadine behind him. He stopped in the hallway when he saw his brother holding onto their sister like he had when she was just a little girl. Letting go of Nadine's hand, he sunk to his knees on the other side of Lucky and wrapped his arms around them both. Elizabeth slowly pulled back and stood beside Nadine. The two women looked as the three siblings held onto each other. Both of them knew that even if it seemed as though they were on the outside looking in, they were smack in the middle of this.


	6. Chapter 6

"Look at the two of them, those are two of the most incredible men in the entire world," Elizabeth murmured as she stood beside Nadine just outside Lulu's private room at Shadybrook. Her eyes were fixed on Nikolas and Lucky as they sat tiredly in chairs on each side of their sister's bed, standing duty in a way that only two older brothers could. They had been at the psychiatric hospital for a few hours now. Lulu had been problematic for the first few minutes until the sedatives had kicked in. Since then, she had alternated between sleeping and tearfully begging her brothers to take her to see Johnny. Neither of them knew what to do for her, and as nurses, Elizabeth and Nadine both understood that there was nothing they could do. They could only make sure that she got the best medical attention Nikolas' money could buy and wait. The waiting seemed to be the hardest part.

Nadine looked thoughtfully at the three siblings inside, wondering if anyone had watched her in such a way as she tried to take care of Jolene last fall. She doubted that anyone had sympathized with her after the horrible things her sister had done, but Nadine had managed to overcome the reputation anyhow. She had built a life for herself in Port Charles complete with a job that she looked forward to every morning, a group of girlfriends who made her laugh and a certain man that made her stomach drop through her toes. As she watched Lulu struggling to hold onto her life inside that tiny room, Nadine thanked God not for the first time for the incredible blessings that had been bestowed on her life. She just wished that she could cash in some of her good karma to help out the youngest Spencer.

Turning slowly to her friend, Nadine smiled and nodded. "I've gotten to know Lucky a little bit better over the past couple months. I can definitely see why you fell for him," she acknowledged. Nadine knew that their relationship was one that was over and that Elizabeth harbored feelings for a certain mysterious mobster. Still, she couldn't help but think that the love Lucky and Liz had shared was still there. She may have never seen their happy times, but she had heard about them through Nikolas' story. They were just another Port Charles fairytale come true. "As for the other one in there, we both know how I feel about him. I thought that I was doing a good job of hiding it until Leyla informed me that everyone knew."

A small giggle escaped past Elizabeth's pursed lips. It had been a long time since she had gossiped with a girlfriend, probably since Emily had died. Elizabeth knew that there was no replacing her best friend, she would forever be the fourth Musketeer. However, she knew that Emily would want them all to move on. She would want Elizabeth to find another confidant and Nikolas to find someone else to give his heart to. "I've wanted to tell you something, and since we're going to be here for awhile, it looks like now is as good a time as any."

Sudden nervousness pulsed through Nadine's veins. She had worried about how the people close to Nikolas would react to her presence in his life, especially Elizabeth and Lucky. "Why don't we go grab a cup of coffee in the cafeteria?" she offered. Liz agreed with a nod and the two women headed toward the sunny commons area. There were a few tired nurses in the corner grumbling about one patient or another. A doctor in a pristine white coat rushed by as his pager buzzed. Elizabeth went to the coffee machine to retrieve two cups while Nadine paid the surly cashier. When they were finally seated at a semi-private table in the corner opposite of the nurses, Nadine looked up at her fellow nurse expectantly. "Alright, give it to me straight."

Elizabeth hugged her hands around the porcelain mug and shifted in her chair. "Nadine, you can relax. We're happy that Nikolas has let you in," she confessed with a reassuring grin. "Emily was my best friend. She was also Lucky's best friend. She was the glue that held the three of us together, and after she died, a part of me worried that we would lose the friendship we had shared for so many years. However, losing her almost brought us closer in a way. It forced Lucky and I to put aside our differences. It brought Nikolas and Lucky closer as brothers. It reignited a bond with Nikolas that we somehow lost over the years. It was like Emily was pushing us together, reminding us that we needed each other to get through losing her."

"Yet, as much as I cared about Nikolas, nothing we could do would make him better. We could talk to him about Emily, we could sympathize in his loss, we could try to assure him that everything was going to work. It wasn't until you came along that he actually started to believe that," Liz continued. "You made him see something worth living for. You refused to give up when he was stubborn, and we both know how stubborn Nikolas can be! I know that you didn't really know Emily all that long, but she would be glad you found him."

"For so long, I've been afraid that people were going to look at me and think, 'Emily would have done a better job.' It's a lot like the guilt my aunt felt after my parents died," Nadine confided. "I didn't want people to think that I was trying to replace Emily. I know that I can't do that. Nikolas and I have talked about it at length. She's a hard person to live up to."

Shaking her head, Elizabeth wanted to shake the blonde and make her realize how Nikolas saw her. "He doesn't want you to live up to her. I don't think that you know this, but the night after you kissed for the first time, I went to see Nikolas. He was clearly freaked out about the situation – a state that Nikolas does not get in very often or very easily. Kissing you scared him. It made all the feelings in his heart that he had been trying to ignore become real. After we lost Em, I don't think he ever thought he would feel anything for anyone again. You changed that."

A notable crimson crept up Nadine's neck. She had known many of these things but to have them reiterated back to her made it so much more real. He had talked to other people about her. He had thought about her. "So much is going on with him right now that I don't want to stress him out about us. Lulu needs to be his first priority. I will be by his side as his friend as long as he needs me to be," she vowed.

"Somehow, I don't think that Nikolas needs you to be just his friend," Elizabeth countered skeptically. "I've seen the way he looks at you. When things started getting hectic in there, he looked for you immediately. You bring this sense of calm to him that I've never really seen with Nikolas. He reacts to you in a different way than he has anyone else ever."

"She's right you know." Nadine's jaw dropped as she turned around and met the amused gaze of Nikolas. His body language was tired and tense, but a flirtatious daring look danced in his dark eyes. She covered her face embarrassedly as he flopped down into the chair next to her and slung his arm across the back of her chair. Lucky sat down in the other empty chair next to Elizabeth opposite of his brother. "You definitely bring out a different side of me."

"Well, I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing," she declared as Nikolas reached for her cup of coffee with his free hand. Without even asking, he took a long sip of the hot brew before returning it to the Formica table. "You know, let's just pretend that you didn't hear any of that. How's your sister?"

Lucky grumbled across the table as he raked his fingers through is chestnut locks. His blue eyes were filled with concerned exhaustion. "She just woke up. She's in with Lainey going over her medical history and some other things," he informed the two women. "I had no idea how bad it was until I got her. She's having hallucinations, which sets of these screaming fits where there is no getting to her. It's getting to be all too familiar."

A sad look passed over Elizabeth's face as she remembered those months when Laura was losing touch with reality. Her episodes had gone from sporadic to constant very quickly. She thought of Lulu as a younger sister and hated what this was doing to the promising young woman. She also hated how it was hurting Lucky and Nikolas. "I'm sure it helps knowing you are here," she offered, resting her hand over Lucky's. He smiled up at her, wanting to believe that she was right. "What can we do?"

"There's nothing to do really," Nikolas answered as he took another drink of Nadine's coffee. "I had thought about sending to her to Switzerland, but now that she is here and the doctors are already working on her case, I think it'll help to have her family nearby. I don't want to move her too far away from Mom. She said that talking to her helps. Besides, the last thing she is going to want is to be further away from Johnny. It's bad enough as it is."

The four were silent for a few moments until Lucky's cell phone rang and Elizabeth's pager went off. "I have to take this," Lucky mumbled as Elizabeth excused herself to call the hospital. They both returned a minute later, apologetically explaining that they had to get back to work. After promising to check in later, they hugged Nikolas and waved to Nadine before leaving the cafeteria together.

"Do you want me to wait here with you until her session is over?"

"Lainey said that she is going to give Lulu a few more sedatives to help her sleep, so I'm probably not going to be able to talk to her coherently until the morning. She said that I should go ahead and just leave," he retorted. "I think I am going to take her advice and head back to Wyndamere. The best thing I could do right now is spend some quality time with my son. Watching Lulu go through all of this reminds me once again how fragile life can be."

Nadine beamed as she listened to Nikolas talk about his son. His devotion to Spencer was one of his sexiest attributes, she thought. "Well, that sounds like a perfect day for the two of you," she commented. "I think that I will just catch a cab back to my apartment and veg out in bed. I have a stack of magazines that I have been meaning to tackle, and there is this carton of ice cream waiting in the freezer with my name written all over it."

Nikolas laughed as he imagined her surrounded by piles of pillows, a sappy chick flick on TV and a clay mask painted on her beautiful face. "While that does sound like quite an exhilarating evening, I was actually hoping that you would join us at the house," he professed. "I haven't been on a ride for all week, and Spencer loves it when you come riding with us. We could have a quiet dinner just the three of us and maybe watch a movie or something after he goes to bed."

It sounded like a perfect evening, the kind of night she had dreamed of sharing since she was a little girl. Some girls grew up wanting to be ballerinas, others wanted to be teachers. Nadine had always wanted to have a family. "If you're sure that would be okay with Spencer, I would love to. I think that's the best offer for an evening I've ever gotten."

Handing Nadine the coffee mug so that she could finish the rest of the coffee, he stood up and pulled out her chair. He pulled her to her feet, his hand lingering in hers as they stood close to each other, staring into each other's eyes. He thought about kissing her, but she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly instead. "It's going to be alright," she promised in his ear as he held onto her. He believed her when she said those words. He felt like she could make everything okay if she would just love him. "We're all going to get through this."

Brushing a kiss over her forehead, he tangled their fingers together and guided her out of the cafeteria. They both turned in their visitors' passes at the front desk before exiting the hospital into the late summer afternoon. The sky was a brilliant shade of gold, the horizon just starting to show traces of blush and indigo. "Thanks for coming with me today," he told her as they pulled out of the parking lot. "As hard it was, it would have been a million times harder if you hadn't been there with me."

She smiled at him kindly before looking out the window. All of this was so surreal that Nadine couldn't help but want to pinch herself. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Up until now, his protests toward her had been minimal. Still, a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that they still had a few more battles they were going to have to fight before she could claim him as being all hers. "You know that I would do anything to help you."

Nikolas pulled up behind a delivery truck at a stop sign. She would do anything for him. He had managed to find two women in this lifetime that were willing to do anything not only for him but also for his son. He didn't deserve Emily then, and he doesn't deserve Nadine now. Reaching across the seat, he cupped the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss. It clearly surprised her because she muttered something before submitting herself wholly to the moment. He could hear cars honking behind him but he didn't care. "I…" It was too early to say that he loved her. That wasn't exactly how he felt, not yet, but he cared about her. He wanted to give her something to understand what was going on in his heart. A gift would have to come later. All he had for now was his words. "I really like you."

Okay, so it wasn't the grand declaration Nadine was secretly hoping for but she knew what it took for Nikolas to say those words to her. The rest of it would come later if she could just be patient and trust the situation. Looking into those incredible eyes, she saw forever in Nikolas. She saw long lingering kisses in the supply closet at the clinic, holding his hand under the table at Kelly's, the first night they made love. She saw walks in the park, lazy afternoons, more children. She saw trips around the world, sitting together on a porch swing when they were grey, living room forts with their grandkids. She saw all her dreams coming true, but she would never tell him that. Not yet, anyhow.

"I like you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

"Daddy, Daddy, come look at this!" an excited little boy called into the late afternoon air, his voice echoing throughout the plush grove of elm trees. Spencer slowed his new pony as he neared the pocket of apple trees in the corner of the Cassadine's private forest. He held onto the reigns tightly as he jumped down from his horse and inspected the blossoms that were just beginning to open. "We're going to get to pick apples soon. Do you think Mrs. Landsbury would bake us a pie if we asked nicely?"

Nikolas didn't want to tell his little boy that the matronly older woman would do pretty much anything for him. Growing up, Nikolas had understood that he had the entire world at his fingertips. His uncle had taught him early on that the staff worked for him and were there to cater to his every need. He had almost come to expect things to be done for him at a certain age and when his fierce of streak of independence hit in his teenaged years, he had quickly realized that he was almost incapable of taking care of himself. He never wanted Spencer to be like that. He wanted his son to be able to do laundry and ask people for help when he needed and even cook a few things on his own. Spencer would have a much different upbringing than his.

"I suspect that if you ask nice, she will probably make you a pie or two. We'll have to wait a few more weeks until it's officially fall before we start to pick the apples. If we pick them too early, they won't be ripe," he explained to his son patiently. "If you have patience and wait, we'll get to pick perfect ones that are just right. I bet Mrs. Landsbury will even let you help in the kitchen."

The little boy's face lit up as he danced happily in a circle. Nikolas jumped down from his horse and gathered the giggling toddler into his arms. Growing up in the Cassadine family, he had never been given too much affection. Now that he had a son of his own, he could never imagine how a parent couldn't shower a child with love. He told Spencer he loved him all the time. There was no greater joy than the sound of his giggle, the smile on his face, the feeling of his hand in his, the comfort of a warm hug. They were two peas in a pod, as much alike as father and son could possibly be. Of all the things he had done, Spencer was truly his greatest achievement. Even if he failed at everything else, he knew that he could look back and know that he had done one thing right.

Nadine watched them from atop her charcoal grey mare, a thoroughly happy smile radiating on her face. Nikolas had recently added the horse to the stable, an addition that she knew was because of her. She had spoke of the horse she had loved when she was a young girl growing up with her aunt. Maybe she had never had formal riding classes or knew how to properly saddle according to English custom, Nadine could ride with the best of them. She had beat Nikolas in a race more than once. However, this afternoon's ride wasn't filled with the same competitive exhilaration. It was a peaceful excursion between three people that could someday end up being a family.

"I'm hungry," Spencer commented decidedly, not an ounce of whining in his voice. He toddled over to his father's horse and tugged on the cuff of Nikolas' pants. "I think we should eat the picnic now. I know that Alfred put some carrots in there for the horses. Jack is getting hungry, too."

"Go ahead to the clearing and we'll be right behind you," Nikolas allowed as Spencer climbed back onto his Arabian pony. Digging his heels into the horse's side, he urged him forward without bothering to wait for his father or Nadine to join him. Nikolas held back for a moment as Nadine gaited toward him. Her hair was pulled back loosely into a topknot, her eyes covered by a pair of discount sunglasses she had picked up at a gas station on a whim. There was no pretense about her appearance. She just haphazardly looked beautiful. As she stopped next to him, Nikolas leaned over to press a quick kiss to her lips. "Are you hungry?"

"Famished," she answered, patting her flat stomach for emphasis. Nikolas laughed at her childlike mannerisms, a habit she had picked up after her years in pediatrics. "I think Starlight here could use some of those carrots that I heard Spencer talking about. What do you say I race you there?"

Before he could even answer, Nadine took off ahead of him. Her hair fell from the crown of her head and flowed freely behind her as she easily jumped over a fallen tree and disappeared around the corner from his sight. A minute later, he could hear her laugh joining Spencers, a clear indication that she had arrived to their allocated picnic spot. By the time he had reached them, Nadine was already playing tag, Spencer's new favorite game. Spencer dodged her, chuckling as he tried to run and watch her over his shoulder. He was running full speed, not watching where he was going, and Nikolas knew that he was going to fall before he did.

Nadine was at his side immediately, scooping a crying little boy into her arms effortlessly. She checked him over quickly for cuts and bruises, finding only a small trickle of blood from an abrasion on his knee. Cradling him to her, she carried him over to where she had thrown her ridiculously huge bag on the ground by a tree. "Look what we got here," she attempted, pulling out her ducky wristband. The little boy looked at her suspiciously as he wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. She started to sing a song in her "duck" voice, distracting him while she cleaned his wound. When she was finished, she pulled out a box of bandages and spread them out on the grass. Spencer looked curiously at the cartoon band aids as she told him to pick out one. "Batman, a very good choice! I always thought he was much cooler than Spiderman or Superman."

"Yeah, Daddy and me like him because he has the best car and he lives in New York like we do," the little boy confided as Nikolas finally came over to join them. He had kept his distance for the time being, wanting to see his bond with a woman that was coming to mean more to him by the minute. "If you stay here again tonight, maybe we can watch it. We have all the movies and the cartoon ones. Daddy makes me close my eyes or plug my ears during certain parts though."

"I have to do that sometimes too when I get scared," she told him with a bright smile. "Why don't you get those carrots out of the picnic basket and feed the horses? I think Starlight and Jack could both use a little snack. When you get finished, I'll make you one of my favorite foods in the entire world."

Spencer scampered off to feed the horses after Nikolas reminded him to make sure that Sheeba got a few of the apple slices Alfred had included in their basket. Nadine was busy spreading out the blanket and unpacking the wicker pack full of food – cold fried chicken, fresh mozzarella cheese, vine ripened tomatoes, bright red strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, sea salt potato chips, fresh baguettes and various condiments. Then, she went over to her purse and pulled out a few packages of sugar that she always kept with her. Nikolas watched her with the same childlike curiosity Spencer had reserved earlier for picking apples and selecting a bandage.

"What in the world are you making? You are not feeding my son that," he laughed as he watched her spread a thin layer of butter over the baguette. She shrugged at him coyly as she dumped another packet over the butter and evened it out. Nikolas' snacks growing up had consisted of beluga caviar on homemade crackers. Hers had come prepackaged from the delightful kitchen of Little Debby. "That cannot possibly taste good."

"And how would you know?" she questioned him, her eyebrow raised defiantly. She folded the sandwich in half and then started to make another. "There are a lot of things that you haven't wanted to try in your life that turned out pretty great." Nikolas knew that she wasn't just talking about food anymore. She had challenged him to let her in his life, and that friendship had ended up being one of the best things in his life. He probably still wouldn't like the sandwich but he knew that he would like the smile that eating it would bring to her face. "It might not be the fanciest thing in the world, but I still think it's pretty amazing."

Settling down on the flannel blanket beside Nadine, he reached tentatively for the sandwich and inspected it carefully. Closing his eyes, he felt like a little kid preparing himself to eat a heaping spoonful of peas. It was just a sugar sandwich, a snack kids all across the country probably ate every day. Taking a bite, Nikolas chewed slowly as she watched him expectedly. "It's not as bad as I thought it would be," he conceded before taking another bite. In fact, she was right. It was actually pretty good, its own kind of amazing.

Over the next half-hour, they ate a long lunch and Spencer convinced his father to play tag with him while Nadine read a book she had tucked inside her oversized bag just in case. The reading didn't last too long, however, because before long, both Cassadine men were pulling her to her feet and chasing her around the clearing. Finally, as Spencer began to yawn, they collapsed back on the blanket. The little boy curled up on a corner of the blanket, pulling the edge over himself as he fell easily into a nap. Nadine sat beside him, rubbing his back as she watched him sleep. A part of her would really like to curl up like the kid had, but the bigger part of her valued the alone time with Nikolas. Once she was fully satisfied that he was asleep, she crawled back across the blanket and sat beside Nikolas.

"When I was a kid, Jolene and I used to ride our bikes all day long in the summer. We would get on them as soon as the sun was up with the entire neighborhood as our playground. That was one of the benefits of growing up in a small town, you know," she remembered. "We had this usual route that we would take. We'd stop by the bakery first for a doughnut and then we would go to the park to play on the swings for awhile. Around lunch time, we would head over to this little café that served deli sandwiches for 2. We would split one of those and a bottle of Coke. They still came in the glass bottles then. It was so great. When it got really hot, we would go swim in the fishing pond or get an ice cream cone from this little shop a few blocks from my aunt's house. We'd never get home until just before dark, in that dusky magic hour where the light is just perfect."

"When I was a kid, my days were filled with a million different kinds of lessons, even in the summer. My days started with language class and then musical lessons. Afternoons were dedicated to fitness, culture and etiquette. Sometimes I got to see other children when I was taking a ballroom class or something, but most of the time it was just me and the parade of adults sent to tutor me," he told her. "My uncle gave me a bicycle, but I was only allowed to ride it in our driveway. I never got to swim in natural water, only our private swimming pool. I was awake at 8 a.m. sharp every morning and in bed by 9 p.m. even on special occasions."

Nadine turned to him, a stunned expression on her face. "We really are from different worlds, aren't we? I can't imagine missing out on the normal kid things that make growing up so fun. Swinging on the rope swing into the lake, eating popsicles on an overturned bucket in the garage, playing baseball in the empty lot next door… I've always loved summer."

It was hard to miss something you never had, but hearing about Nadine's childhood made him miss the same things she reminisced about. He hoped that she would be around long enough to make sure Spencer experienced all that and so much more. He hoped that he would allow himself to let her stay around that long. They were moving along in their relationship, but they had never really had a first date. Maybe it was time to slow down a little and build a foundation on top of the friendship that had already become so vital to both of them. "Are you busy tomorrow night?"

Thinking for a moment, Nadine tried to remember her schedule for work. Other than her shifts at the hospital and clinic, she didn't have much of a social life. There was the occasional evening with the girls at Jake's, but they didn't have one of those planned until next week. "I have to work until the afternoon, but I think I'm free after that. Do you want me to go with you to see Lulu or something?"

Shaking his head, Nikolas had to laugh at her innocent question. Only she would mistake his subtle proposal for a plea to accompany him to a depressing hospital. "No, actually, I was hoping that you would want to go with me to dinner. I'd like to take you out for the night. I think it's time that we have our first date."

"Date," she repeated, looking slightly awestruck. Her hesitation soon turned to overwhelming joy as she beamed gladly at him. "Nikolas, I would love to go out with you."

"Good," he returned, reaching forward to tug the end of her blonde hair playfully. "I would hate it if you turned me down for a first date after you have already kissed me, watched me have a total breakdown, had to keep me from killing someone at Shadybrook and slept with me."

"Well, technically, I slept with both you and Spencer," she taunted cheekily as she leaned against him. "Besides, what girl turns down a prince?"

He relaxed as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She was completely at ease around him and for the first time in months, he felt completely at peace in his own skin. He wasn't waiting for something bad to happen. He knew what life awaited him outside the safe confines of the clearing with Nadine and his son. He wasn't scared to find out what was going to happen. He awaited the future eagerly. He had come very far from the frantic man who wanted to die last winter. He owed all of that to her. "A girl who deserves a king," he answered finally, wrapping his arm around her back.

She smiled up at him for a moment, unadulterated joy dancing in her eyes. "I don't want a king," she whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers. "I just want my prince."


	8. Chapter 8

Nadine stood in front of her tiny, overstuffed closet, staring at hanger after hanger of striped tee shirts, scrubs in varying shades of the rainbow, cardigan sweaters from three seasons ago and corduroy overalls that she still had from high school for some reason. Nothing seemed right for a first dance with a prince. She wanted everything about tonight to be perfect, but maybe that was putting just a little too much pressure on the situation. Nothing between her and Nikolas had been perfect up to now, and she would be silly to think that their first date would be any different. Still, the little girl in her, the one who had danced around in her aunt's costume jewelry and her mother's wedding dress, wanted just one perfect night where she would feel like a princess.

Thumbing through the dress section of her closet, she came across the amazing white dress she had worn the night of the Black and White Ball. Somehow, she didn't think wearing the gown would be appropriate, well, ever again. Next she came across the dress she had worn the night of the Haunted Star reopening. As much as she liked that dress, Nikolas had already seen it. He'd also already seen the knee-length yellow satin dress that she had saved two months salary to buy, only to waste it on him asking her to Wyndamere so that she could work at the clinic for him. None of these dresses would do. In fact, nothing in her closet was appropriate for tonight. She needed something new. She needed a fashion miracle.

Throwing the doors shut in exasperation, she padded across her room to her dresser. Pulling an antique jewelry box from the top of the bureau, she crossed back to sit on the edge of her bed. The box rested in her lap as she brushed her fingers over each piece. Nadine didn't have a lot of things that mattered, but the things that mattered most to her in the world were all in this box – a love note her father had written to her mother early in their marriage, a pair of photographs of her with Jolene when they were still kids, the silk handkerchief her aunt had always carried folded neatly in her pocketbook, a dried flower from the backyard of her childhood home. Last week, she had added something else to the box. Tucked between the carefully weathered love letter and the snapshot of her making a funny face at her sister was an article from the _Port Charles Herald_. It was all about the new clinic and Nikolas' endless philanthropic efforts in the medical community. He'd sung her praises in the piece, and it ran along with a photograph of them standing together in front of the clinic's sign. It was the first picture of them together, and Nadine had saved it in hopes that it wouldn't be the last.

There was one more thing in the jewelry box, the reason she had went after it in the first place. Her aunt had given her a piece of jewelry on her eighteenth birthday, a sterling silver bracelet with multicolored precious gemstones in the shape of flowers. Nadine had only worn it a handful of times, on special occasions really. It had been handed down from generation to generation, one of the few legacies her family had, and was said to bring luck to whoever wore it. As she fingered the delicate clasp, she knew that this was exactly what she needed to make her dreams for tonight come true.

Returning the box back to the dresser, Nadine tucked the bracelet into her pocket before dialing Leyla on her cell phone. "Round up the girls, I'm going to need some help," Nadine said excitedly. "We've got a fashion emergency here."

Leyla giggled on the other end of the line before placing her hand over the mouthpiece. Nadine could hear her talking to Kelly, Lainey and Robin in the background. "Meet us at Wyndham's in a half-hour. We were just having coffee and herbal tea over at Kelly's," she ordered her friend. "I'd invite Elizabeth too, but she is nowhere to be found."

Nadine agreed with her friend's plan before hanging up the phone. She didn't even take the time to put herself together as she rushed around her apartment. It didn't matter what she looked like to go shopping. It only mattered that she accomplishes her mission. Nikolas had told her to dress formally but wear comfortable shoes. He had no idea what a difficult task that would be considering the vast array of cute and sexy high heels in the world. She also didn't know exactly what kind of occasion would call for such a strange ensemble. Did he really want her to show up in a ball gown and Chucks? Not going to happen, not even for Nikolas.

Exactly thirty minutes later, an excited Nadine strolled into the upscale department store to find her friends waiting restlessly in the formal wear section. Robin, looking incredibly cute pregnant in her scrubs, was sitting in a chair while the others paraded various dresses by her for her approval. One after another, she shook her head disdainfully and called the next one forward. "Hey, guys, what's going on here?" Nadine asked as she strode up to her girlfriends.

"You have a date with Nikolas in less than four hours, and serious shopping takes time. Sorry, we had to start without you," Kelly announced as she help up a strapless number in a bright indigo blue. "While this would look amazing on me, I'm just not sure it's you. What do you think, Robin?" The doctor shook her head in response. "Okay, Lainey, I guess you're up again."

The savvy psychologist offered Robin an olive green tea-length dress with a flared skirt and spaghetti straps. "Maybe a little too retro," Robin disregarded before looking over at what Leyla held up. Her choice was a soft lavender wrap dress. "I don't think that's quite formal enough. Come on, people, we are going for perfection here. It's not every day that a girl goes out with a prince."

"Ugh, could you quit saying that?" Kelly implored, wrinkling her nose up in disgust. "I mean, I know it's true, but it makes it sound like Nadine isn't worthy of his stature in life. He is damn lucky to get to go out with an incredible girl like her. He should be the one worried about impressing her, not the other way around."

"Oh, trust me, he is," Lainey scoffed before covering her mouth. Elizabeth had sworn her to secrecy before she had rushed off to help Nikolas prepare for tonight's date. "Just forget that I said that. Let's find Nadine a dress."

She thought about pushing her friend for further details but quickly decided against it. Nadine didn't want to know what was going to happen before it happened. She wanted to lavish every single moment without any pretense for what it should be. "Right, let's find me a dress," she agreed before walking down the aisle of dresses. Her hand skimmed over a scarlet chiffon gown and then a slate grey number. As she was considering the merits of a melon slip dress, she saw it. It was simple but sophisticated, formal but not too formal. "Please let it be my size, please let it be my size," she prayed silently as she jogged across the store. Pulling it from the rack, she nearly screamed when she saw "Size 4" printed on the designer label. Holding it up against her body in the mirror, she knew that was it. "What do you think?"

"Perfect!" Leyla clapped as she grabbed her friend's elbow and ushered her toward the fitting room. Kelly and Lainey both nodded in agreement as Nadine disappeared into the tiny dressing room by herself.

Tossing away her fitted green tee and faded denim capris, she pulled the perfect dress from its hanger. She slipped it over her head easily, smiling to herself as the gauzy fabric fell perfectly into place over her hips. Stepping back out of the fitting room, she spun slowly in a circle to give her friends the full effect. "Well, what do you think?"

Robin was the first to move toward her, pacing slowly as she watched her friend with all the delight in the world so apparent in her eyes. Nadine looked stunning. She had picked out a strapless dress that hit just below her knee and hugged her curves perfectly. The cornflower blue material was the exact same shade as her eyes, and the small silver glimmers were strategically placed all over the dress to set off just the exact right amount of sparkle in the light. The tulle beneath the calf-length skirt gave it a fairy princess appearance. It was indeed the perfect dress.

"You look beautiful," Robin praised her, tiny tears springing to the corner of her eyes. While she could have blamed it on pregnancy hormones, the truth was that she was ecstatic that Nikolas was finally moving forward and that two people she cared about were going to have a storybook beginning. "This is it. You can pair it with silver ballet flats, and it'll be absolutely perfect."

"Well, almost perfect," Nadine commented before disappearing back into the fitting room. She pulled the bracelet from her pocket and returned to her friends. Handing it to Kelly with shaking hands, she asked her friend to help her put it on. Once it was clasped securely around her wrist, she stood in front of the mirror and examined herself.

Leyla hugged her best friend from behind before resting her head against hers. The two women met each other's gaze in the mirror and smiled thoughtfully. "Now it's perfect."

Meanwhile, across town, Nikolas stood at the opposite end of a table from Lucky, moving the furniture as Elizabeth commanded them in a motherly tone. They had been at it for nearly an hour, trying to set up the private dining room at the Metrocourt to the nurse's liking. Nikolas had come to her with the idea this morning, wanting to make plans for a perfect evening. He'd had no idea what to do for Nadine, wanting to give her something completely different than he had ever given Emily. He needed for this to be a fresh beginning. When his friend had suggested renting out the hotel's dining room in order to create their own private casino night, Nikolas had jumped at the chance immediately. The first time he remembered really feeling something for Nadine was the night of the Haunted Star opening. With the ship still shut down because of Luke's so-called illegal doings, this was the next best thing he could imagine.

"You know what, if you hadn't sent away all the hotel staff, we wouldn't have had to move these tables a half-dozen times by ourselves," Lucky grumbled to Elizabeth, a mischievous glint twinkling in his cerulean eyes. "Now, make sure that this is where you want it because I am not going to move it again."

Elizabeth nodded happily as the guys set the table in place. Walking around the perimeter, she seemed satisfied with how the room had been set up. There was a pair of playing tables set up in the middle of the room with a roulette wheel on one side and a craps table on the other. There was also a small table for dining and a fairly big size cleared for dancing. "This is exactly what I had in mind," she declared before coming over to stand between the two men. "What do you guys think?"

Nikolas scanned the room and bobbed his head. "I think that I'm glad we moved those tables all those times because this is exactly what I envisioned," he grinned before placing a kiss on top of his friend's head. "Thank you both so much for all your help."

"No problem," Lucky shrugged before falling tiredly into a chair. He was exhausted from all the moving and knew that he wouldn't do it for anyone else but Elizabeth and Nikolas. When his ex-wife had called and excitedly begged him to come help, he had jumped at the chance to do something for his brother. He knew what a big step this was for him. Still, he worried that Nikolas was putting to much pressure on himself to make tonight perfect. "What else do we need to do?"

Elizabeth looked over her list once again before shaking her head. "I think that we've got everything covered. Nikolas arranged the meal with a private chef and I managed to track down a few of your dad's dealers to help out tonight. I've got that string quartet that played our wedding coming to provide a little musical background. Since he has a stock of tuxedos at home, fashion has been taken care of. The only thing left is for him to get dressed and pick her up."

"I've already made sure that my driver had the town car washed and waxed," Nikolas smiled as Elizabeth crossed another item off her list. "I also made sure to order a bouquet of tea roses for the table because she told me once that her aunt used to grow them. I was thinking about ordering a lemon tart because I know how much she likes them but decided to go for a little more of a comfort food."

"Ah, pineapple upside down cake," Elizabeth smiled, knowing about her friend's deep passion for the fruit dessert. Nadine coveted the one day a month when the hospital cafeteria served it with lunch and had successfully petitioned Mike to add it to the dessert rotation at Kelly's. "She'll love that. It's the thoughtful little details that get girls the most."

Nikolas started to lament over another half-dozen mundane details that he was anxious about when Lucky finally interrupted him. "Nik, don't you think you might be overdoing it just a little? I know that you want tonight to be perfect, but you're putting a lot of pressure on this one date," he suggested, hoping that his brother wouldn't take offense. "I don't want you to feel let down if everything doesn't go exactly how you have it planned in your head. Nadine really cares about you. She's not going to be upset if you have the wrong scent of candles or get a little sauce on your tie."

Running his hand over his face, Nikolas was exasperated by his brother's comment. There were still so many stark differences between the Spencer and the Cassadine. "Tonight isn't just about one date, Lucky," he attempted. "It's about the past nine months when I stopped living. It's about trying to give back to someone who has already given me so much. It's about trying to start a new life not only for myself but for my son. It's about so much more than a single evening."

"I get what you're saying, I do, but you're wrong. This is still just one night in the grand scheme of life. You cannot stress out over all these little things," Lucky offered. "Besides, don't you think it's a little premature to start worrying about how she's going to fit with Spencer?"

"But Lucky, I have to think of these things! I miss Emily all the time. I loved her so much more than I ever thought I would be capable of loving anyone. She was everything to me until I met Courtney, and then that all changed in one night," Nikolas tried to explain. Desperate tears burned in his eyes as he struggled to get his brother to see the one thing that was holding him back. "The night that she told me that she was pregnant, I knew that my life would never be the same. Finding out that Spencer was my son, he became the single most important thing in the world to me. He became more important than Emily and certainly more important than me. Loving him means that he comes first every single time. It's not just Nadine and me in this relationship. Spencer is a huge part of it, maybe the biggest. I need for this to be okay for him, too."

Elizabeth came over and rested her hand on Nikolas' back supportively. "I think what Nikolas is trying to say is that Spencer goes into every decision that he makes. You know what that feels like, Lucky," she reminded him. "Cam and Jake are the biggest factor in all of your choices. You want things to be perfect for them just as much as you want them to be perfect for yourself or me, probably more. That's what we do as parents. We put our children first. Nikolas decided a long time ago to put Spencer first, and now, he is deciding that he wants to put Nadine first, too. It's only too soon if he's not ready. Can't you see that he's ready?"

Lucky knew that she was right. He had felt like that too once upon a time when Elizabeth had not only given him her heart again but also a place as a father to an amazing little boy. There wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do for the boys, even if they weren't his biologically. They were his sons. "I'm sorry, Nikolas," he apologized softly, looking up at Elizabeth instead of his brother. An unspoken understanding passed between them. "I'm glad that you have found something in Nadine that made you want to hold on, especially for Spencer's sake. I wasn't trying to criticize."

"I just want you both to be happy for me. Nadine is an amazing woman, and it's important to me that you both like her," he told them. "She'll never be the fourth Musketeer, that place was taken a long time ago. I'm just finally ready to move on, and I want to do that with her. It's only the first date and we are going to take things very slow. I just want to know that if the time comes, you'll accept her into our family."

Looking from one brother to the other, Elizabeth smiled genuinely. "If you decide to love her, we will love her," she promised as Lucky slipped his arm around her waist. "That's what a family does, it accepts the people that matter. You guys did it once when Lucky decided that he loved me, and it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. It brought me you and Emily."

Lucky nodded in agreement as he looked down at his older brother. "She must be an amazing girl if she could land a Cassadine," he teased good-naturedly. "I've seen the quality of women you've paraded around this town, one of which just happened to be my best friend in the entire world. Emily would be happy for you, Nikolas, and so are we."

A single tear drifted down Elizabeth's cheek as she turned away sheepishly to dab it with the edge of her sleeve. Lucky and Nikolas both laughed, lightly taunting her for being so sensitive. Before long, she had joined them in giggling. It had been a long time since the three of them had been together under joyful conditions. Finally, Nikolas peeled himself from his chair and grabbed his keys from a nearby table. "Come on, let's get me home," he announced, pulling Liz toward the door. The nurse held onto Lucky's hand and dragged him after her. "For once in my life, I'm grateful for my manners. This is a night that I don't want to be late for."


	9. Chapter 9

Nadine sat primly in her living room, perched on the edge of her sofa, legs crossed in eager anticipations as she waited for Nikolas to arrive. She had finished getting ready a half-hour before he was due and had spent the last thirty minutes flipping aimlessly through channels and counting the seconds until her Prince Charming showed up to sweep her away. Just as she was about to switch back over to a documentary on arctic animals, a buzz blared through her tiny apartment from the call box. Walking across the room, Nadine looked down to the street below to see him standing on the front stoop, dusk sun flooding his face as he looked up toward her window. Their eyes met through the double-paned glass and a radiant smile broke out on her face. Holding his gaze for a second longer, she finally padded across the room to buzz him up.

Counting softly to herself, she knew it would take exactly twenty-six seconds for him to reach her door. A soft tapping indicated his arrival, and she took a long pause to examine herself in the mirror one last time. Her hair was swept away from her face in an intricate knot at the nape of her neck. Kelly had helped her perfect her makeup with smoky eyes and frosted lips. Robin had leant her a pair of sparkling dewdrop earrings to match her bracelet. Leyla had helped give her a manicure and pedicure so that even the tiniest details were covered, and Lainey had sat by and directed the entire effort. It had been a lovely afternoon of girl bonding, and as she smiled at herself in the mirror, she knew it had been well worth it. She looked like the princess she had dreamed about as a little girl.

Swinging the door open, her blue eyes widened considerably as they washed over Nikolas. Dressed impeccably in a black suit with a crisp white shirt and a soft silver tie, he looked like the man she had dreamt about when he had kissed her that first time in his living room. "You are so beautiful," he complimented her breathily, his eyes lingering over her. Blushing feverishly, Nadine stepped out of the way to allow him into the apartment. He stepped just inside the doorway, never breaking his gaze from hers. "I can't believe you are actually ready. I'm used to waiting on a woman."

"Are you kidding me? I couldn't wait for tonight to get her," she admitted softly as she leaned forward timidly to kiss his cheek in greeting. Nikolas turned his head at the last minute to capture her lips with his in a brief kiss. She smiled against his mouth as they pulled away, his hand sliding around her waist and holding her firmly against him. "So, where are you taking me?"

Nikolas chucked and shook his head. "It's a surprise," he responded. Nadine started to protest but he quickly shut her down. She grabbed her clutch off the sofa and then followed Nikolas out the door. He waited patiently while she locked both the locks on her door. He turned back to her slowly and offered her his arm. Slipping her arm through his, she allowed him to guide her down the stairs and into the cool evening air. A black town car was idling at the curb. When the driver started to climb out to open the door for her, Nikolas waved him off and insisted on opening it for her. Sliding into the buttery leather seat, she waited while he jogged around to the other side to get in beside her. Then, without a word to the driver, the car took off and headed across town.

"By the way, I forgot to tell you up there that you look quite dapper," she smiled as Nikolas moved across the seat to sit next to her. His arm rested around her shoulders as she leaned her head on his shoulder. It was such a natural reaction they had, almost as if they had to touch each other if they were anywhere near one another. "You could take me to McDonalds and the mall right now, and I would pretty much be okay with it. In fact, we can just drive around all night if you want."

"Are you kidding?" Nikolas scoffed. He looked at her seriously before allowing the slightest smile to quirk her lips up. "First of all, you deserve so much more than a cheap hamburger at a seedy food court. Secondly, there is no way I am going to let a dress like that go to waste."

"Ah, so it's the dress that did you in?" she joked as Nikolas squeezed her hand. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head when she smiled. They both felt so at ease there, as if nothing could take away the magic of tonight from them. "I guess I'm just not used to anything like this."

Reaching forward, Nikolas turned off the music and closed the window that separated them from the driver for added privacy. Angling his body so that he could hold her hand and look into her eyes at the same time, he needed for her to understand just how much this meant to him. She was no passing thing for him. He could see forever in Nadine. Once upon a time, he thought that his forever had died with Emily. Now, as he sat in the back seat of a ridiculously overpriced car with a simple nurse in a beautiful dress, he knew that she would be okay if they had to eat cheese sandwiches every night for dinner. She didn't want anything other than his heart.

"I love you in your scrubs right after you have finished a long shift at the hospital. With your hair pulled back in a ponytail and that silly duck velcroed to your wrist, you're always so cute," he confessed. "And then when you're at home in your jeans and one of those striped tee shirts that you're so fond of, I love how comfortable you feel in your own skin. You look just as good in your pajamas and slippers as you do in a ball gown in heels. It isn't about a dress, Nadine, it's about you."

Arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed her lips softly to his. His hand grazed the soft skin on the back of her neck before traveling down to the top of her spine. They stayed wrapped up in each other for seventeen blocks until the car reached the hotel. So entangled in the kissing, Nadine didn't even notice when they stopped. Nikolas finally pulled away from her, completely breathless from having her in his arms. "Oh, we're here," she murmured as she looked past his shoulder and up at the grandiose Metrocourt. She immediately deducted that they were likely going to have dinner in the upscale restaurant.

Nikolas stepped from the car and offered his hand to help her step onto the sidewalk. Her ballet flats clicked on the pavement as they strolled up the sidewalk. He nodded curtly at the doorman as they passed before they walked into the lobby. She was surprised to find it empty, completely devoid of a living soul or a single sound. There was only a uniformed waiter standing guard outside the dining room. "Right this way, Ms. Crowell," the man announced, addressing her politely rather than Nikolas. The man held the door open for them, revealing an immaculate dining room. He shut the door silently behind them, leaving them alone.

Letting go of his hand, Nadine stepped to the middle of the dining room and turned slowly in a circle. She walked from table to table, her smile growing with each new sight. When she came to a stop by the roulette table, she glanced back at him with a huge grin. Just as she was about to turn back around, another waiter arrived holding a sterling silver tray. Lifting the dome, she was surprised to find a generous stack of chips waiting for her. "What did you do?" she mused delightfully. Nikolas came to her side and took the chips from the waiter before dismissing him. He snapped once to call in all the dealers. "Where are all the other guests?"

"It's just you and me tonight," he whispered into her ear. "I was talking to Elizabeth this morning about everything and she said something that stuck. She told me that life and love are a gamble. I'm willing to take a chance, lay it all on the line, to make this work. The first time I knew that I wanted more than friendship with you was the night at the Haunted Star. Watching the way your face lit up as you won, it was the purest form of joy I've ever seen. I knew then that I wanted to put that look on your face every single day for the rest of my life. Maybe it's too early to make such a declaration but I've learned that you need to say things before it is too late."

"That is the most perfect thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life," she whispered, completely in awe of his words. She palmed a few of the chips before leading him over to the tables. Placing a chip on the table, she made a silent promise to herself and prayed that she would win. The dealer dropped the marble and spun the wheel. Closing her eyes tightly, she listened as it clicked to a stop and waited for the man to tell her the result. As he announced that she had won, she hopped in the air triumphantly and clapped in celebration.

Over the next hour, Nikolas and Nadine traveled from table to table, placing bets and playing games. Sometimes they won, sometimes they lost. He taught her a little bit more about poker and asked her to blow on his dice for luck. By the time she had tired of gambling, she had built up quite a stack of chips. "Alright, I'm going to place one final bet," she declared, returning to the blackjack table. "If you win, I'll do something that you want, but if I win, I want you to dance with me."

Nikolas agreed to her challenge and nodded politely for the dealer to toss out their cards. Nadine peaked at her cards and grimaced. She peaked at Nikolas, who was smiling like a fool as he looked at his cards. Glancing down at the table, Nadine spotted the ace sitting face up. "I'll stick," Nikolas announced as the dealer turned to him.

The man nodded before looking up at Nadine. She swept her hand over her cards, indicating that she was going to stand. The dealer flipped his cards over and tossed down another on top of it. He went over with a twenty-three. "Well, Mr. Cassadine?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Nikolas reached down and turned over a pair of queens. "Not bad."

"I guess I am going to have dinner to think of what I want," he teased.

"Actually, _I'll_ have dinner to think about what I want," she argued. She flipped over the ace of spades and the king of hearts. "I believe that it what you call a blackjack. In fact, I believe that I just won."

Nikolas frowned in disappointment as he looked down at her hand. Even if it was to Nadine, he still hated to lose. He had been so sure that he had the upper hand, but apparently she was a little bit better at bluffing than he thought. Nadine danced around him in a circle, humming to herself as she celebrated. He finally caught her around the waist and spun her around a few times. "There's your dance," he joked before gliding her toward the dinner table.

"That's not what I had in mind, but I know that you'll make it up to me after dinner. I'm famished," she grinned as a pair of waitresses in prim black dressed appeared at their table. One woman placed mixed greens salad with warm goat cheese in front of them while the other poured goblets filled with a deep, rich burgundy. Nadine tried not to be intimidated by the array of forks that sat in front of her. Counting the tines, she finally settled on the right one before cutting into the greens. "Oh, yum," she moaned. "Nikolas, this is so good."

"I created the menu especially for you. I did a little research and convinced Elizabeth to tell me all your favorite foods," he admitted. "As much as it killed me to do it, I even ordered baked macaroni from a gourmet chef. He was slightly offended but I insisted. I thought that if we had some of your favorites and some of mine, it would be perfect."

Four courses later, Nadine decided that she couldn't eat another bite. She had relished the baked macaroni with Nikolas' favorite seared swordfish. His plans had been altered since that morning when he had decided to tone down the meal just a little to suit her more. When her face had lit up at the site of the pineapple upside down cake, all the effort was immediately worth it. As he sat back and watched her nibble at the crumbs on her dessert plate, he thought about telling her that he had planned for dancing ahead of time. However, he didn't want to take away her win.

"Well, I guess we should be getting home. It's late," he commented lightly, waiting for her to protest. She seemed to know exactly what he was up to as she shook her head. Rather than waiting for him to stand up, she took his hand silently and pulled him toward the floor. He clapped once and on cue, the string quartet came into the dining room. Her jaw dropped as they began to slowly play a sonata in unison. His hand found its way to her hip as she clasped his other hand. Holding her frame tightly, they started to slide around the floor in a perfect waltz.

Nadine closed her eyes as they turned around in circles, the hem of her skirt twirling around them. Resting his cheek against hers, he guided her gently with his hand on the small of her back, showing her where he wanted them to go. She hummed along to the familiar tune, surprised that she recognized any of the classical music. She had always been a fan of popular music instead. Nikolas spun her out before drawing her back to him. They made their way around the floor a few times until he dipped her deeply. Bringing her up to her feet again, he held her gaze for a moment as the music faded out. Allowing her heavy eyelids to fall shut, she knew that he was about to kiss her. She knew the sleepy, hazy look he always got in his eyes right before he made his move. And just when he was about to finally bring his lips to hers, the band started up again.

She felt him freeze in her arms as the haunting tune filled the air around them. Looking up at him in alarm, she noticed that his eyes were looking past hers as he got lost in something so deep that she was unable to bring him back to her. Slowly, he let go of her and moved away, covering his face so that she could not see him. Nadine tried to pry his fingers from his eyes but he refused to let her touch him. "Stop," he said softly, insistently. When the quartet kept playing, he whirled around angrily and screamed. "Stop! Dammit, stop!"

Recoiling at his angry tone, Nadine was frozen in the middle of the floor as she looked from the musicians to her date. "Nikolas, please," she implored gently, wanting him to snap back to the charming man who had held her only minutes before. She padded up behind him and rested her hand on his shoulder. He stepped away from her again and strode up to the musicians. He handed them a wad of cash and dismissed them rudely. She could only watch as they gathered their instruments and left the room with great confusion. Nadine couldn't blame them. She still had no idea what had made him snap like that. When they were alone again, she attempted a third time to get through to him. "Nikolas, is everything alright?"

"Please get your things," he said politely but firmly. Tears threatened to fall from his dark eyes as he turned away from her and exited the room brusquely. Nadine retrieved her purse from the table and apologized to the staff before heading outside to join him. He was staring up at the sky as he waited impatiently for the town car to arrive to the curb. Wordlessly, he ushered her into the car and slammed the door shut behind him as he climbed into the seat. Miles were between them as she sat huddled in one corner. Nadine didn't dare say a word as they went through a few stoplights. Finally, Nikolas began to speak slowly. He still wouldn't look at her, his eyes fixed on the lights outside the window. "I just think that this was too soon."

"But you said…"

"I was wrong."

Those were the last words that either of them spoke until the car reached her apartment again. Nikolas tried to get out to walk her to the door, but Nadine refused. She didn't want him to see her crying in the moonlight. She just wanted to put tonight behind her and escape to the safe confines of her bedroom. He apologized again but she brushed him off. "It's fine, really. You clearly see this as a mistake. I just don't happen to agree."

"I don't mean that your…"

"Nikolas, it's quite alright," she insisted as she jogged up the steps. Mascara was already starting to run down her pale face and she just wanted the humiliation of tonight to be over. He stood on the sidewalk, making sure that she got in safe just as she had been taught. She could hear him calling after her as she slammed the door shut behind her. Taking the steps two at a time, she prayed that she would hold it together just long enough to get inside her apartment. Nadine barely got her front door closed before she collapsed on the sofa and slowly, sadly, cried herself to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Early the next morning, Nikolas saddled up Sheeba and headed for a dawn ride to clear his mind. He had tried to sleep but peaceful rest had eluded him after leaving Nadine so abruptly at her apartment. He knew that he would have to explain eventually what had happened, but he wanted time to process it first. Moving on from losing Emily was still so hard, and there were moments sometimes that just crept up on him unexpectedly. Twirling Nadine around the Metrocourt ballroom last night had been one of those instances. He hadn't meant to push her away like that, but the entire situation became overwhelming when he heard that song.

Closing his eyes, Nikolas urged his beloved horse forward and headed for a quiet corner of the woods where he often went to think. He'd had his groundskeeper put in a bench there shortly after Emily had died because it was his place to go and think about her. No one really knew it existed outside the staff, and he liked it that way. Even though he needed to maintain that he was moving forward with his life, it was nice to reflect on the past. He liked being able to think about the woman he had loved so much. Now, as he headed there, his mind wasn't on his lost fiancée. The only thing he could think about was the disappointed look in Nadine's clear blue eyes when he had pushed her away. He had seen the unshed tears. They still haunted him hours later.

Nikolas chided himself silently as he dismounted his mare and tied her securely to a hitching post near the bench. He had closed his eyes when he was dancing with Nadine, allowing his mind to drift off to a place where the past had never happened. He didn't have to think about anyone else but her in his arms at that moment. However, hearing the opening crescendo of that fated song had changed all that. Flashes of Emily had hit him all at once, exploding like tiny little bombs that slowly killed his soul. He could see the radiant smile on her face as they twirled around the tiled ballroom. He could feel the cool metal of her new engagement ring against his fingers as they held onto each other tightly. He could hear the swishing of her white skirt as they moved together as one. He could remember everything about that dance to a point where it became real again. Having Nadine in his arms had suddenly felt like betrayal of the worst kind.

Of course, rather than explain any of that to Nadine, Nikolas had recoiled and reacted rashly. His first instinct when anything got too emotional was to put as much distance between himself and the situation as possible. Even if it meant hurting someone else, he would stop at nothing to rid his heart of such pain. He knew he had handled poorly, but at the time, it seemed like the only way. How could he explain that he felt like he was cheating on a ghost with her? The sad thing was that Nikolas knew that Nadine would understand. She would give him the time and a shoulder to cry on. She'd set aside however she was feeling to help him through it. However, he hadn't given her that opportunity. He had broken her heart instead.

A part of him felt a little relieved that she had finally seen this part of him, the part he had promised would eventually break her heart. While he would never want to hurt her on purpose, Nikolas knew that he was a Cassadine and that was what his family did. They hurt the people around them, usually the people that they loved most. His deranged uncle had done that with his mother. Helena had done it to him repeatedly. Alexis repeated the same sick pattern with Ned for too many years. Emily had been the subject of a few bitter attacks from Nikolas, and now he was repeating the same mistake on Nadine. He hadn't been able to break the cycle the last time, but he wanted for this to be different. He needed for this to be different. If he ever had any hope of being truly happy again, he would have to let her in. He would have to let her all the way in, to the darkest corners of his heart far too scary for the common woman.

Pulling out his cell phone, Nikolas dialed a number from memory. When a sleepy little boy answered, he asked for his brother and waited patiently as Cameron handed the phone over to Lucky. "Nikolas, is everything okay? Is it Lulu?" Lucky's gruff questions came, his voice still thick with sleep. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's early, sorry that I woke you up," he apologized. "Lulu's fine, but I'm not." That confession alone was a big step for Nikolas. He rarely admitted that things were less than perfect. It was his responsibility to uphold a strong visage that he was always in total control. Even with his family, Nikolas was reluctant to admit his shortcomings. Yet, this was one situation that he knew he couldn't handle on his own. "I really need to see you."

Lucky didn't ask any questions as they quickly made plans to meet at the gazebo in Rice Park. It was a special place for both of them, the site of many rendezvous with the great loves of their lives. Nikolas had a memorable snow fight with Emily there once, and Lucky had danced with Elizabeth beneath those twinkling lights as they were falling in love the second time. It was a place of beginnings for both of them, and now, Nikolas wanted it to be a place of goodbyes. He wanted to put Emily behind him as much as he ever would, and the only person who would understand was their mutual best friends. After hanging up with his brother, Nikolas called Elizabeth and asked her for the same thing. It was time to say goodbye once and for all.

Meanwhile, across town, Nadine was huddled in her window seat, overlooking the sparkling harbor a few blocks away. Her perfect dress hung limply on a hanger on the back of her bedroom door. She hated the site of that dress and all the disappointment that it now represented. She hated how she had let him drop her off without saying a word about how she felt. She hated how empty she felt now that he had pushed her away once again. She hated pretty much everything about this day.

It wasn't like her to feel so down, but there was no coming back from the heartbreak of last night. She knew that she would get over it eventually, but as for her potential romance with Nikolas, a stupid dance had sent it screeching to the ground in flames. He hadn't told her what it was about that moment that got to him, but she knew that it had something to do with Emily. All roads led back to Emily. It was hard to compete with someone that wasn't there and even harder to be angry with him for still grieving over his dead fiancée. Nadine wanted so much to be selfish but she couldn't She actually understood where he was coming from. It didn't mean that it hurt any less.

Pulling the plaid blanket up around her shoulders, she contemplated getting up to make some tea and toast but she decided that she wasn't hungry. She had barely slept at all. The naïve dreamer in her had actually sat next to the phone for a few hours, praying that he would call with an apology or at least an explanation. When she had finally realized that the call was never going to come, she had cried so hard that she had nearly lost her ability to breathe. After the tears had come the sappy songs about heartache and unrequited love, which set off another round of body-wracking sobs. All the emotion had left little time to sleep. It just didn't seem to matter as much when she was feeling so empty and alone. Nadine had been on the verge of having something truly amazing with a man that she might possibly already love, and it had all been swept away from her because of one damn song.

Padding across the floor, she retrieved her cell phone from her clutch bag, which she had tossed underneath her bed in a fit of rage when she got home. She scanned the list of missed calls, noting that they were mostly from her girlfriends. They were probably curious to see how the dream date had gone, but she just didn't have the courage or the energy to admit the truth. She just wanted to feel sorry for herself. Deciding that misery loved company, she dialed the only person she knew that was as well versed on unrequited love as she was.

"Hey, can you meet me at Kelly's for breakfast?" she asked as soon as the person on the other end of the line answered. The first smile in many hours came to her face as she made plans with her friends. They agreed to meet in an hour, giving her just enough time to drag her tired body to the shower to wash off the mascara smudges from last night's tears.

By the time Elizabeth finally showed up with a sleeping Jake in her arms, Nikolas was almost hyper with anticipation. This was a big decision for him, and he just wanted it to be over. He had said goodbye to her too many times, but this time really felt like it was final. He'd still go to her when he really needed to think about things, but it was time to quit relying so much on Emily's memory. Nikolas needed to stand on his own two feet for the first time in years and not think about what she would want for him. He needed to find what he wanted for himself and Spencer. "Thanks for coming," he told his former sister-in-law as he kissed her on the cheek in greeting. Lucky took his son from his ex-wife and brushed his lips over the downy hairs on top of his head.

"Alright, Big Brother, it's ridiculously early on a Sunday morning, and you dragged Elizabeth, Jake and me from sleep to call us here," Lucky sighed sleepily as he paced the gazebo. "Why did you bring us to the park?"

Elizabeth stood next to Lucky, rubbing her hand along Jake's back as he fussed a little from fighting sleep. "Thank goodness Lesley is staying with Lucky, otherwise we would have had to contend with Cam too," she smiled warmly to Nikolas. She knew that whatever had brought them out at this early hour was incredibly important to her friend. "It's nice though, the three of us being here. This was one of Em's favorite places in the world. She'd like that we are here."

"She would," Nikolas concurred as he leaned against the railing. "She's actually kind of why we are here. I need to say goodbye to Emily. I know that we had a funeral for her, and I have mourned at her gravesite in the Quartermaine crypt. My mind has always known these things rationally, but my heart has never really let go. It's time to let go."

Lucky took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He had heard Nikolas say things like this before, but they had never really seemed authentic until now. He meant what he was saying, and Lucky knew why he meant it now. Nadine had changed him in the same way that Emily had changed him many years ago. "It's okay, Nikolas, she would want you to move on with your life," he prodded his brother supportively. "Emily loved you enough to set you free. She would want you to find love again. I know that you have her blessing."

Elizabeth went over to Nikolas and looped her arm through his. "Emily always felt so incredibly lucky to have the love that you gave to her. She never quite understood how you could love her so deeply. She'd want another woman to know the blessing of having your heart. She would want someone else to experience the same joy and splendor that she did. I don't know anyone who deserves that more than Nadine."

"I care about her so much," Nikolas confessed as he ran his free hand through his hair. "I thought that I was ready last night, but I wasn't. I needed to do this first. We were dancing at the Metrocourt when the string quartet played the last song that Emily and I ever danced to. They had no clue what that song meant to me. Neither did Nadine. Instead of trying to tell her, I just pushed her away. I hate myself for what I did to her. I just want to go back…"

"You can't go back, Nikolas, we know that better than anyone," Elizabeth reminded him gently. "You can only take what you have learned and make sure that you don't repeat those same mistakes again. I know that Nadine cares about you. If you just go to her and tell her this, I'm pretty sure that she will forgive you. You just need to know that you can't push her away when things hurt too much. There are going to be times when you are going to miss Emily so much that you can barely breathe, you know that. The thing that makes it different now is that you have someone to help you get through it. Nadine is strong enough to be there for you. You just have to let her."

It was oddly comforting to have Liz tell him the exact same things he had thought about earlier in the woods. It was like she was reaffirming that his need to move on was justified. It was okay to let Emily go. "Maybe Emily sent me that song to show me that I need to do this," he thought aloud. "Maybe that was her way of telling me that it was okay to let go."

Shifting Jake to his other arm, Lucky walked closer to his brother. "Even if she didn't send that song, Emily has sent Liz and me to tell you. Nikolas, it is okay to let go. I knew her better than anyone in the world. I have no doubts that this is exactly what she would want for you. She'd want you to share your life with someone as amazing as Nadine. She'd want Spencer to have a mother. I've seen the way you smile at that blonde nurse. You care about her. Let yourself feel these things. It's going to be worth all of this in the end."

"It already is," Nikolas acknowledged, a brief smile crossing his lips as he remembered how beautiful Nadine had looked when he'd picked her up. He felt like a fool. He had used his family name as a crutch, an easy-out to explain why he had treated her like he had. He had used his love for Emily as a way to not have to move on. He had a million excuses for why he had done what he had done, but they meant nothing. He had been wrong, and now, he just needed to find a way to make things right again. It wouldn't be as simple as a lavish dinner or a surprise trip to Europe. This would require the hardest thing in the world for Nikolas to find – the right words.

As Nikolas confided in Elizabeth and Lucky at the park, Nadine was confessing her secrets to a friend of her own. Although she hadn't known him long, she had felt an immediate connection to Spinelli since the night of the Black & White Ball. They were both highly intelligent in their selected professions, slightly awkward in many social situations, incredibly prone to relentless rambling when they got too nervous or overly emotional and forever falling for people that would never want them back. "I just didn't understand, Spinelli. Everything was so perfect and then he just threw it all away as if it didn't matter, as if I didn't matter."

Reaching out, Spinelli covered his friend's hand with his own. "Noble Nurse Nadine, you do matter," he emphasized. "The Blonde One's Brooding Brother is still suffering from the not-so-secret pain of losing Stone Cold's sister. Like you, Noble Emily was someone who would be hard to get over. I happened to have carried quite a torch for the Blonde One. I know that family is hard to get over, but I don't think that you will have to. I truly believe that Prince Nikolas might be your Maximista. Neither of you just see it yet."

Nadine wanted to tell her friend that she did in fact see it (whatever it was) with Nikolas, but there would be no point. It would only make her situation that much more pathetic. She knew how right it was, and she knew how wrong he thought it was. "I don't want to be his friend, Spinelli. It might be good enough for you and Maxie, but I can't do it. I want more than that with Nikolas. Somewhere in his heart, I know that he wants me too. He just won't let himself fall for me."

"Is it possible that he feels like he might be afraid of losing you too?" Spinelli proposed. "Is it possible that he feels like he might be betraying her memory? Is it possible that he feels like he could hurt you? There are a lot of things at play here, my sweet friend. Prince Nikolas is a careful soul. Give him time. He will come around."

"I wish I could be as sure as you are," she muttered as she took a long sip of her coffee. "I could have handled it if he had told me that he was thinking about her. I could have handled holding his hand while he cried. I could have handled him yelling at them for playing the song. I could have handled pretty much anything. The only thing I couldn't take was having him shut down again. I can't keep putting myself through this. I can't give him all of me and only get part of him in return."

Brushing his hair out of his eyes, Spinelli shook his head. "I hardly think the Brooding Brother would expect you to receive a part of his heart. In fact, I don't think he would have become enamored with you unless he truly wanted to give you all of himself. He just needs to find out a way to do that, Noble Nadine. As much as it sucks, you need to give him time. I know how hard it is, I do it everyday with the Fair Maximista. However, I have faith that one day she will see in me what I see in her. You just have to believe."

Nadine couldn't help but hum a few bars of "Have a Little Faith in Me" as she contemplated her friend's words. Spinelli was right. She needed to have a little more faith in the connection she shared with Nikolas. He had hurt her terribly last night, but it wasn't bad enough that she was willing to throw everything else that she felt. There was still a lot of good there. She hadn't spoke up last night, and it was time that she finally came clean with everything that she was feeling. He needed to know about her fears. It wouldn't be as easy as it had been to tell Spinelli. This would require the hardest thing in the world for Nadine to find – the right words.


	11. Chapter 11

Out of breath and huffing deeply from her long jog, Nadine was more than worn out by the time she reached her apartment building. Her blonde hair hung in her face as she tried to negotiate her key into the lock while dancing around in time to the Paramore song blaring from her iPod. Taking the stairs two at a time, she ignored the elevator in a last minute effort to get cardio in. She was doing anything to keep her mind off Nikolas and finally getting back to running regularly seemed to be a good idea. However, when she reached the top floor and headed down the hallway, all of her good intentions were thrown out the window.

Bouquet upon bouquet of flowers lined both alls of the corridor and surrounded her doorway. There were vases of soft pink gerber daisies, perfect ivory calla lilies, yellow and blush tea roses. There were dark red tulips, bright yellow sunflowers and fragile purple lilacs. There were white and magenta orchids, deep fuchsia gladiolus and orange tiger lilies. The narrow hallway was overwhelmed by the floral fragrance, and Nadine couldn't help but smile. Taped to her door was a single card with her name carefully written in Nikolas' familiar script. She peeled the thick envelope from the wooden surface and pressed it over her heart.

No one had ever really sent Nadine flowers before except her aunt the day that she got into nursing school. The only other flower she had received was a nearly dead pink carnation corsage for her senior prom. While some people might say that Nikolas had gone a little overboard when he ordered, but she absolutely loved the way he apologized. It was going to take more than flowers before things were going to be good between them again but these flowers were a start. Picking up the vase of mixed roses, she left the door open to her apartment and sat on the floor next to the sofa. She looked at the flowers again, her smile growing even bigger as she imagined him choosing each arrangement just for her. She knew Nikolas well enough to know that he would want it to be impeccable, perfect and personal. He had achieved that and much more. It was pure romance, absolutely adorable and incredibly sweet. As she pried the flap on the envelope open, she could only hope that his words matched the display.

_Nadine,_

_This is only the smallest symbol of just how sorry I am for the unforgivable way I acted the last time that we were together. There are a million words I could express to say how sorry I am for my behavior, but I won't waste them on you. I've always been a big believer that actions speak louder than words, and if you will allow me, I will spend the rest of our lives trying to show you exactly how much you mean to me. I will be waiting at our spot at two o'clock if you are willing to give me another chance._

_Yours if you will still have me,_

_Nikolas_

A single tear drifted down Nadine's tear as she read over the letter another time. Now that was an apology. He could have left just that card and Nadine would have showed up to forgive him. She had only needed him to ask, and now that he had, she couldn't wait to be in his arms again. After only a handful of kisses and one almost perfect dance, Nadine was addicted to Nikolas. She had been hooked after the first time she touched his hand so many months ago, and being able to kiss him in his sitting room had only deepened her need for him. Being without him these past few days had sent her body into harsh withdrawals. His apology was just the hit that she needed. Feeling as high as she had ever been, she glanced at her watch and noted that she only had an hour before she needed to meet him at the clearing. Deducting for the half-hour of travel time it took to get out to Spoon Island, she quickly jumped up and dashed around her apartment to get ready.

After her too short shower, Nadine stood in front of her closet just as she had a few days before when getting ready for the perfect date with Nikolas. There had been too much pressure on both of them that time, so this time she just wanted to keep things light between them. Things would happen as they were meant to, and she couldn't keep putting these ideals on the situation. If she didn't have expectations for the way things should go, she couldn't be let down. She knew Nikolas would come through for her in the way that she needed if she could just let him do it in his own way. With that goal in mind, she pulled a simple sage green sundress from a hanger and threw it over her body. She elected for a simple pair of leather sandals and decided to leave her hair loose around her shoulders. There wasn't any need for all these accessories or makeup or expensive perfume. She just needed to be her.

The driver over to the launch took longer than it usually seemed to, though Nadine suspected she actually got there faster because of her complete disregard for the speed limit. Leaving her car in the gravel lot at Nikolas' private docks, she smiled at the captain as he helped her step onto the launch. The uniformed man told her that it would be ten minutes across the harbor, and Nadine took those last few minutes alone to think about what she would say. She didn't want to over think the situation, but she also didn't want to just give in. As much as she was willing to forgive Nikolas, she still needed to know why he had pushed her away. She needed to hear him say the words. If he was going to let her in, he needed to be completely and brutally honest. It was the only way she would know that all of this was real.

When the small boat finally made its way to Spoon Island, another uniformed guard was waiting on the other side to help her onto dry ground. She was immediately escorted into a small passenger car and driven to the opening of the woods. Nadine thought about going back to the stables to get Starlight but when she caught sight of the time, she just headed into the trees. The walk to the clearing hadn't felt so long the other day when she was riding with Nikolas and Spencer, but as she carefully trekked along the path, she felt like she would never get there. With every step, she grew more desperate to see him. It had been a long time since she had felt such anticipation. Finally, growing restless, she pulled off her shoes and started to sprint barefoot through the cool grass. She knew that her feet would be muddy by the time she reached him but she didn't care. She just wanted to hold him.

Nadine didn't even bother to slow down when she reached the clearing. She just kept running at full speed, her eyes locked on Nikolas until she was finally wrapped in his arms. He caught her with an audible gasp and enveloped her tightly in his embrace. Lifting her slightly off the ground, he buried his nose in her soft blonde hair and inhaled her gentle scent gratefully. Her face was pressed into his shoulder as she locked her arms around his neck. They were both silent in the emotional moment. The only sound was the faint wail of a songbird and their heavy breaths intermingling in the crisp fall air. Nadine finally pulled back slightly to look into his coffee brown eyes and slid easily back to the ground. She started to step away from him when he reached out and pulled her back to him. "Don't let go," he implored in a whisper as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Just, please, whatever you are going to say, don't let go."

Threading her arms around his waist, Nadine hugged him tightly for a moment, thankful once again for his words. He wanted her to be here. If there had any doubt before, it was now gone. "I'm here, Nikolas, I am not going to let go of you," she promised as he rested his face against her shoulder. "You mean too much to me to walk away now. We mean too much."

Nikolas reached down for her hand and guided her over to the bench where they had sat only a few days before. Their fingers entangled together as they sat down so close that not even a breath of air could escape between them. "I was so afraid that you weren't going to come. I tried not to think like that, but I would have been devastated if you hadn't shown up," he confessed softly, reaching up with his free hand to tuck a golden tendril behind her ear. "You didn't have to come, I really didn't deserve it. I'm just glad that you could see past that and come here. I have so many things I need to tell you."

"There are so many things that I need to hear," she agreed before running her hand over his smooth cheek. Nikolas turned instinctively to rest his face in her palm. It was such an intimate gesture, one that showed him that they were still there. Despite what had happened the other night, Nadine was there for him. "So, you are going to talk and I am going to listen. When you are finished, we will decide what is going to happen next. There's no pressure here. I don't need you to make any promises. I just need for you to tell me the truth. As long as we are honest with each other, I know that we'll make it through this."

Nodding slowly, he tried to find the right place to begin. "That song the other night, it was the same one they played at the Black & White Ball. It was actually the waltz that the orchestra performed right after Emily and I announced our second engagement," he explained. "I haven't heard it since that night, but when I did, it took me immediately back to that moment. The only difference was this time you were in my arms instead of her. My head knew that but something in my heart finally clicked. A small part of me still felt like I was betraying Emily. It still believed that she was going to come back. Hearing that song reminded me that was never going to happen. I was happy with Emily for many years and we had a love that I will always remember. However, her death was not the end of my life. I thought it was for a very time until I met you. Now I understand that losing Emily was just another new beginning. My time with Emily was another lifetime, and I can't live in the past anymore. I don't want to. I want to live in the present, in the here and now…with you. I want to make plans and think about a future…with you."

A long moment passed before Nikolas continued. "I have run away my entire life when things got too difficult. I've always found the easiest way to deal with something is to not deal with it at all. Even Emily couldn't change that about me, and we missed out some precious time together because of it," he admitted. "However, for the first time, I don't want to keep doing this over and over again. I just want to stand still with you and figure this out. I don't want to give the situation time until I am absolutely sure about the way this should go. I'd only be wasting time without you in my life. You deserve so much more than that."

For the first time since Nikolas began speaking, Nadine cleared her throat to say something. "We deserve more than that," she told him patiently. "I am not any more important in this than you are. We are in this together. I don't want you to forget that. Even before you decided that you cared about me, I knew that you were someone I couldn't just walk away from. I won't let you run from me, Cassadine. If you do, I'll just have to chase after you."

"Promise?" he asked with a teasing smile. Nadine nodded as his hands drifted up her bare arms and over her shoulder. She shivered involuntarily under his touch, anticipating even the slightest graze of his fingertips against her skin. "I called Lucky and Elizabeth to the park yesterday. I talked to them about Emily and about you. They both really like the person I am when I'm with you. It's a powerful thing to have your two best friends give you their blessing. They helped me let go of Emily. I've said my final goodbyes. There are still going to be days when it's going to be hard, but I won't push you away anymore. Instead, I am going to ask you to help me get through them. I don't need you to do that, but I want you to be there. Knowing the difference there makes all the difference in the world. I mean…"

Nikolas trailed off as Nadine launched herself onto him and captured his mouth with hers. She didn't even let him finish the thought as she pressed her body fully to his. Angling her body toward his more, she tilted her head slightly to give him better access. Nikolas ran his tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entrance between her naked lips. Nadine opened her mouth willingly and tangled her fingers in his black locks. He moaned against her mouth and pulled her closer to him. His hands traveled beneath the hem of her skirt to caress her bare thigh, tracing random patterns on her silky skin.

"Perfect," she sighed contently when they separated. Nikolas didn't remove where they were holding her face. Nadine turned her head slightly and laid a soft kiss on his palm.

"Hmm?" he murmured in response, still dazed from their interlude. Nadine giggled as she leaned forward and brushed a kiss over his jaw. "You didn't even let me finish. I have some serious apologizing to do."

Shaking her head, Nadine kissed him again. Her breath tickled the underneath side of his chin as she pulled away reluctantly, languishing in the open affection between them. "You don't need to say anything else. I forgive you," she assured him. "The only thing you need to do from here on out is be this open with me whenever you start to feel this way again. I will never get angry at you for missing Emily."

"You're incredible, you know that?" he mused as he looked into her eyes. She told him that she knew because he had told her so many times but that she never got tired of hearing it. He laughed in response before pulling her into his lap. Nadine rested her head on his shoulder as he trailed his fingers soothingly through her hair. "Do you want to come back to the house with me? I am going to give Spencer his snack before he goes down for a nap. I'm sure that he would love to see you."

"I'll make you a deal," she offered with a wide grin. "I will come back to Wyndamere with you for a snack if you will lay down for a nap with me afterward. Spencer isn't the only one who needs rest. I haven't slept very well since that night, and by looking at you, I don't think that you have either." The thought of having Nadine in his bed for the first time, a first for anyone since Emily, was a little scary for Nikolas. She must have read his mind because she immediately spoke up again. "We're just going to sleep, Cassadine, get your mind out of the gutter."

Running his hand up her calf, he winked cheekily at her before nipping playfully at her ear. "It's just a natural progression when you are so close to me like this, talking about taking me to bed," he teased, his voice gruff in her ear. "I'm just a little nervous, that's all. You're the first to even see the inside of my bedroom since Emily died. It's not that I don't want to, I do more than anything. I'm just scared."

The thought of a royal prince being scared of a simple girl from Texas made her blue eyes dance with delight. "I don't bite," she pointed out. "Well, unless that's what you're into."

"In due time," he commented before pecking the tip of her nose.

Lifting her off his legs, he stood up and reached out for her hand. Nadine and Nikolas started along the path, walking slowly and aimlessly, in no hurry for the rest of the afternoon. As they neared the house, Nadine stopped and looked up at him seriously. "You don't have to be scared," she said. "We'll find a way to make this okay for both of us."


	12. Chapter 12

"Mr. Collins in room 324 needs to have his IV changed out, Mrs. Holbrook in 347 needs to have her meds administered and little Sam in 319 needs to go down to be moved downstairs so that he can have another scan done on his wrist first thing tomorrow." Nadine blew a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her face as she scribbled down her orders on a notepad. Epiphany looked at her harshly and slowly repeated the hurried list before continuing. "When that is taken care of, these charts need to be put back in order before you head over to pediatrics to make your usual rounds. I know that you weren't supposed to work tonight, Nurse Crowell, but you agreed to fill in for Nurse Mir. You better pick it up."

Faking a smile, Nadine tucked a pair of clipboards under her arm before heading down the hallway toward the first patient's room. Since Leyla was sick and Nadine owed her more than a few favors, she had agreed to take her friend's shifts so that Epiphany wouldn't go completely ballistic. Had she known that it would have consisted of her working 36 straight hours without any sleep, Nadine might have tried to work out another compromise with another nurse. However, as she was passing the midway point for her day-and-a-half shift, she hoped that she was getting her second wind. She'd missed a day here and there since she had gotten wrapped up with Nikolas last spring, and her bank accounts were starting to see the effects of her crush. Now that they were finally in a good place, she knew that she needed to refocus more attention on her career and put in time at the hospital.

Nadine felt slightly guilty for being happy when she found Mr. Collins asleep in his room. It was just after eleven at night, and she loved this time at the hospital most of all. Everything was quiet in the usually bustling corridors, the only sounds coming from the beeping machines and the occasional hum of a passing cart. Lifting the IV easily from the sleeping man's arm, she allowed herself to drift only slightly while she completed her assigned task. She really wasn't used to working too many nights anymore, not since she had a year under her belt and had spent most of the last twelve months burning the midnight oil. She hadn't really cared before when she worked. As long as she had a few hours to run to the market and get sleep, she was a fairly happy person. Now that she was Nikolas though, she liked to be at the hospital when he was. It was nice to pass him in the hallway when he was headed to a board meeting. She loved the way he would grab her hand and pull her back to him when she walked by. She also appreciated having a regular schedule so that she could spend evenings with him and Spencer having dinner or watching movies out at Wyndamere. Even their time at the clinic was in sync, allowing her to spend more time with him than she had anyone in a very long time.

"There you go, Mr. Collins," she whispered as she taped the plastic tubing back to his wrist. The man stirred slightly in his sleep and mumbled incoherently as Nadine made notations on his chart. She closed the door behind him and slid the clipboard into the slot on the wall before heading down to the other end of the hall to check on Mrs. Holbrook. Checking the meds cart waiting at the nurse's station, she was disappointed to see that the patient's medications were missing. Trying to stay positive in the midst of feeling completely exhausted was becoming more difficult by the moment. Nadine slipped into the nearby supply closet and climbed up on the ladder to retrieve the antibiotics from the top shelf. So wrapped up in finding the right bottle, she didn't even hear the door open and shut behind her. When she turned around, she was surprised by what she saw. "What are you doing here?"

Nikolas smiled at her mysteriously before stepping forward to help her off the ladder. Nadine sat the bottle down on the shelf behind her and reached out to hug Nikolas. His arms felt so warm and comforting around her. "I haven't seen you all week, so I thought I would surprise you," he answered before she leaned up to kiss him quickly on the lips. "I've been lurking for the past fifteen minutes to try to get you in a dark corner alone. Epiphany seems to be everywhere tonight. When I saw you slip in here, I thought I'd take my chances."

Giggling to herself, Nadine couldn't help but be amused by the thought of a Cassadine heir and General Hospital board member being intimidated by the domineering head nurse. Epiphany was definitely someone to be reckoned with, and few people dared to cross her. Nadine had even seen Sonny Corinthos back down to the woman and that was no small feat. "If she catches you in here with me, we're both going to be on report. I don't know that I can risk another write-up after that whole fiasco with Spinelli's surgery," she half-joked. Still, despite what little concern she actually did have, Nadine wrapped her arms around his sturdy torso and allowed herself one long, deep kiss with Nikolas. He reacted immediately, backing her up against the shelf roughly until he had total control over her body. His hands traveled beneath the hem of her scrubs top and tickled the soft skin on her lower back. Nadine was just about to submit herself completely to the moment when she remembered where she was and what she was supposed to be doing. Reaching up, she pushed him back forcibly and started to smooth her clothes. "Nikolas, I'm still on duty, and as much as I like you standing up for me, I really don't want you to use your place on the board to keep me from getting in trouble again. I need to get back to work before someone catches me."

Nikolas knew that he could protest and argue with her, but he liked the fact that she was so dedicated to her job and the patients at General Hospital. "Alright, I will make you a deal then," he offered. "I will kiss you one final time and leave you alone if you will promise to have dinner with me when you finally get your break. We haven't gotten to spend any real time alone for the past few days, so I just want us to have one little meal so that you can get through the rest of your shift. What do you say?"

The answer to his question came with another long kiss, this one as Nadine stood on her tiptoes and pressed her body fully to his. Nikolas smashed his mouth down on hers and devoured the sweet taste of her vanilla mint lip gloss. They were still in that early phase where every kiss was exciting, enough to stir up a flurry of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Every chance she got, Nadine was finding a way to just touch him – whether it was holding his hand while they were in the car, kissing him as he dropped her off at her apartment or leaning her head on his shoulder while they sat on his sofa. She looked forward to even hearing his voice, repeatedly listening to his latest sweet voicemail when she got a spare minute at the hospital.

"I need to go take care of a few things before I can take my break. Why don't you meet me down at the nurse's station in a half-hour?" she answered before leaning up to brush another quick kiss over his lips. He smiled against her mouth and pulled her face back to him. "Cassadine, I really have to go…"

"I love it when you call me that," he grunted in a rough voice, dragging his fingertips lazily through her ponytail to free her hair from its elastic. She grimaced at him half-heartedly as she pulled her hair back into a messy bun. He could tell that as much as she liked the attention, she really needed to get back to work. "Alright, you go finish up your rounds and I will meet you in exactly thirty minutes. Don't be late because I have a surprise for you."

Her face lit up like a little girl's at the mention of a surprise. He was always doing that, finding little ways to make her day special. While most women would become accustomed to such things by now, she was always pleasantly shocked whenever he did anything kind for her. She never wanted to get used to having him in her life. The minute she took him for granted was the minute she would have changed who she was. "I can't wait," she commented before smoothing down her hair again. "Do I look presentable?"

"Absolutely beautiful," he complimented her as he tugged down the shoulder of her shirt. Nadine smiled at him one last time before slipping out of the closet. Just as she was about to shut the door, she remembered the meds she had left sitting on the shelf. She slid back inside undetected and crossed the small space to retrieve the clear plastic cup. Nikolas grinned at her cockily as he handed over the pills, his fingers brushing over her hand lightly enough to send chills up her arms. "Twenty-nine minutes."

With a bright smile on her face, Nadine set to completely the rest of Epiphany's assignments in record time. She stopped by to give Mrs. Holbrook the meds and even managed a few minutes of small talk with the older woman. Then, she headed down to the other end of the corridor with a pair of orderlies to oversee Sam's move downstairs. Once the little boy was settled into his new room, Nadine practically skipped back upstairs to reorganize the patient charts. After they were alphabetized and lined up according to the hospital's system, she transferred written notes from her rounds onto the computerized records system. Just as she was finishing up on the final chart, a small knock broke her concentration. Glancing up over the edge of the monitor, she flashed a quick smile at Nikolas before hitting save on the keyboard. Picking up the phone, she dialed a page to Epiphany to let her know that she was temporarily off duty before nearly running from behind the desk to hug him again.

"Fastest half-hour of my life," she smiled as he kissed the tip of her nose. Sliding her hand in his, Nadine couldn't help but feel proud as he escorted her off the third floor and onto the elevator. She liked to be seen with him. Not because of whom he was or what he could do for her but because of the way he looked at her. No one had ever looked at her the way that Nikolas was looking at her now. Anyone who saw them together knew that they were living in their own lover's haze. When they finally reached the top floor, Nikolas leaned forward to open the door ahead of her before placing his hands over her eyes. "C'mon, Cassadine, let me see!"

Chuckling at her imploring tone, Nikolas guided her to the middle of the roof. He slowly removed his hands to reveal the rooftop picnic he had planned for her. Somewhere in the distance bells tolled, indicating that it was the stroke of midnight. Nadine gaped with an open mouth at the immaculate spread he had arranged on the same blanket they'd used for their first picnic on Spoon Island. "Surprise!" he whispered into her ear before kissing her lobe softly. He offered her a tray lined with chocolate-covered strawberries, baked brie and squares of smoked salmon. She indulged in her sweet tooth and nibbled happily at a strawberry while he poured them each a flute of sparkling cider. "I wanted to get champagne, but I know how the hospital frowns upon alcohol consumption on the premises."

The two of them sat down near each other in the middle of the blanket. The sky was a perfect blanket of velvety black, stars strategically placed to provide just the right romantic glow. A single candle was lit in the middle of the blanket. "This might just be the best surprise yet," she smiled as he lifted a bite of salmon to her frosted lips. Opening her mouth, she relished the smoky flavor as it slid down her throat.

He reached behind him and pulled open the large wicker basket to reveal a small bouquet of wild flowers. "Spencer helped me pick those this afternoon. They're from the patch of trees just behind the stables. I remember how much you like freesia," he told her as she buried her nose in the fragrant blooms. "I know you've been working really hard this week, and I just wanted to do something special for you. Between being here and at the clinic, you should know that your work is appreciated."

"Oh, really?" she proposed cheekily as she turned to him and locked her arms around his neck. "Is that the only thing that you appreciate about me, Mr. Cassadine, my work?" Nikolas was slightly dazed at her proximity and the sultry way she was speaking to him. He stared at her lips intently, watching the shapes her mouth formed with each syllable. He had never been captivated by anyone's mouth so completely before. Even the way she teased him was sexy.

Tension had been building between them for the past week now, and if she didn't have to go back to work, he would likely act on it right there on the top of the roof. Instead, he opted to gather her in his arms and turn their bodies so that he had pinned her beneath him. Hovering over her body, he gazed into her eyes and traced the pads of his thumbs over her ivory skin. "I appreciate how your eyes light up when you are really excited to tell me something. I appreciate this low, guttural way you say my name when you're frustrated. I appreciate the little notes you leave on my desk at the clinic when you know I'm having a bad day. I appreciate when you lean across the seat to kiss me at a red light. I appreciate a lot of things about you, Nadine, but what I appreciate most is the fact that you have never once given up on me or on us."

For once, there were no words. There was nothing she wanted to say. She just wanted to be, to feel, to love. Wrapping her leg around his waist, she lowered him fully onto her body and kissed him. It wasn't hard and fast like their first kiss. It wasn't slow and tender like their second. It wasn't determined and heated like the one earlier in the supply closet. It wasn't sweet and soulful like the one when he apologized to her in the clearing. It was all of these and none of these at the same time. It was like every kiss before it and like nothing that had ever happened between them. And just when Nadine didn't think it could get any better, Nikolas whispered three little words she had been both dreading and wanting to hear. "Dance with me."

Nadine tried not to be nervous as he helped her to her feet. Holding her hand, he guided her to a dark corner of the rooftop where they could see the harbor just over the edge. "There's no music," she protested softly, her voice almost lost in the dark night sky. Nikolas shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. Pulling back the flap of his black blazer, he revealed a tiny black iPod. Tucking one bud into his ear, he offered her the other one before messing with the controls. Once he had found the song he wanted, he hid the player back into his pocket so that both hands were free to hold her. Rather than clasping her hands for a formal waltz, he wrapped them around her waist as hers drifted to his neck.

With her cheek pressed against his chest, she could hear the steady beat of his heart. They swayed rhythmically in time to the soulful musings of Otis Redding's "These Arms of Mine. They didn't kiss, they didn't say a word, they didn't even look each other. They just held onto each other tightly and enjoyed this very private, very intimate moment. In the middle of the rooftop in the middle of the city of Port Charles in the middle of the night, Nikolas Cassadine fell completely in love with Nadine Crowell. And just when he thought it couldn't be any perfect, Nadine turned them around so that they were beneath a light pole, giving them their very own private spotlight. They had finally stepped out of the darkness and into the light.


	13. Chapter 13

Dancing on the rooftop beneath the pale moonlight had been a romantic moment for Nadine, but reality soon came crashing back to the ground when her life resumed its usual frantic pace. Things at the hospital had been busier than usual as various nurses with seniority took late summer vacations and extended time off to see their children back to school. Early autumn always brought more activity to the emergency room than usual as kids spent their carefree afternoons chasing each other on bikes, skateboarding around the park and getting into fistfights over girls they are sure that they will love forever. For the families that couldn't afford a trip to GH, the clinic had been keeping later hours to accommodate everyone needing service. Most of the time that the nurse was able to spend with her new boyfriend – a term that still made her feel a little silly – was at the clinic.

Now that she finally had an afternoon off, Nadine had thought about calling Nikolas to see if he wanted to meet for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. However, there was something more important that she had been meaning to do, and that would have to take precedent for now. Grabbing her overstuffed tote bag, she jumped out of the car and stared up at the looming building in front of her. She hadn't spent much time there since that very dark night when Nikolas had turned to her for help. As she came through the front door of Shadybrook, she was surprised to nearly run straight into Elizabeth. The brunette was busy searching through her bag and hadn't been watching where she was going.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Elizabeth replied automatically without even looking up. When she finally dragged her eyes away from her bag, her blue eyes lit up at the sight of her friend. "Nadine! What are you doing here?"

Nadine shrugged nonchalantly and held up her visitors' badge. "Probably the same thing you are doing. I wanted to come by and check on Lulu. I haven't been able to come by as much as I would have liked," she confessed. "Nikolas is off doing some business and I had some time free. I thought she might appreciate a visit from someone other than her family and Claudia. Nikolas said that a lot of her friends haven't been by to see her in days."

Elizabeth grimaced at the mention of her former sister-in-law's state of mind. "I've been trying to come by as much as I can since Lucky has been so busy at work with the case," she retorted. "I keep waiting for her to get better, but she isn't. In fact, I'm afraid that she is actually getting worse. Her hallucinations are more frequent than before and she barely recognizes any of us sometimes. Spinelli called her earlier from the hospital. Other than that, I'm the only one that has been in to see her today. Tracey and Edward are supposed to stop by later."

"Well, hopefully she won't mind a visit from me. I remember Nikolas telling me how much she likes vanilla caramel ice cream, so I brought her a surprise," she revealed, lifting the carton from her bag. "I also brought her some of those gossip tabloids and a few mixed CDs to help take her mind off things."

"I'm sure that she'll like them," Elizabeth told her reassuringly. "Sorry to talk and run, but Grams is keeping the boys while I stopped by. I want to go pick up some lunch before I get them so that we can surprise Lucky with lunch at the station. Cam has been asking to see him all week, and I know that Lucky misses both of them."

The two women exchanged pleasant goodbyes before Nadine slipped down the hallway toward Lulu's room. She paused outside the door and looked forlornly across the corridor to another patient's room. Nadine has thought about coming to see Laura a few times, wondering what it would be like to be around the sainted woman that Nikolas and the Spencer children both spoke of often. She had never gotten the chance to know Nikolas' mother. He hadn't really been given the chance to know her very long himself. As someone who had also lost both of her parents, she understood the pain Nikolas felt when he talked about his family. He was lucky enough to still have both of his siblings around. The only family Nadine had left was someone that made it nearly impossible to love her. Even with everything Lulu was going through, Nikolas could still see all of the amazing things still below the surface with his baby sister. Nadine almost envied that. She'd give anything to be able to talk to Jolene.

Knocking on the door, she waited to go in until Lulu gave her permission. Opening it up slightly, she stuck her head in and smiled at the younger blonde. "Hey, do you mind if I come in?" she asked. Lulu shrugged and turned her attention back to the bound stack of paper in her lap. Nadine crossed the small room and arranged herself in the armchair just beside her bed. "I brought you some things I thought you might like."

"Thanks," Lulu replied as she closed the book in her lap. "Sorry, I was just reading this manuscript that Dillon sent to me from California. I think he's a little more than worried about me. He asked for my notes on his latest script, but I know he just wants to take my mind off things. Either way, it's pretty good."

"Oh, yeah?" Nadine asked with a raised eyebrow. "What's it about?"

Lulu's eyes glazed over for a moment, and Nadine knew that she was lost in her thoughts. It was the same look Nadine got herself when she was recalling a memory. "It's about a guy and a girl who really love each other but their timing is all off," she summarized. "Anyhow, I don't really want to talk about that. What'd you bring me?"

Resting the tote on her knees, Nadine handed over the carton of ice cream and a pair of spoons. "Your brother let it slip how much you love this stuff. My personal flavor of consolation is mint chip," she giggled as Lulu tore off the lid. "I also brought you a few magazines and some new music. I figured you might be bored between your sessions. I mean, have you seen what is on daytime TV these days?"

"Really, I know!" Lulu chuckled. "Whose lives are really that messed up?" She stopped talking for a few minutes as she savored the taste of her frozen treat. Nadine handed over the music and the magazines, all of which Lulu smiled at approvingly. "This stuff is great, Nadine, I really appreciate you bringing it all by. I know that we don't really know each other, but Nikolas tells me how great you've been to him over the past few months. I should have been there more for him, but since I wasn't, I'm glad that you were."

"Your brother makes it pretty easy to want to be there for him. He might not always want me there, but he's incredible. I don't have to tell you that," she smiled. She couldn't help but get a little giddy when she talked about the man she had come to love. Nikolas brought out something in her that she never really knew existed. "You don't have to thank me for caring about Nikolas. I am grateful to have him in my life."

Lulu smiled widely for a minute, her blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "You love him, don't you?" she asked knowingly. Nadine ran her fingers through her tangled hair self-consciously, avoiding answering the question. She knew that it was apparent, but she had never said those words aloud to anyone when it came to Nikolas. He had no idea that was how she felt, and until he did, she didn't want to let anyone else know. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I'm just glad to know my brother's feelings are reciprocated."

"Uh…" Nadine trailed off, wondering if Lulu meant what Nadine thought she meant. She knew it wasn't fair to ask Lulu about Nikolas' feelings. He had been very clear that he wanted her to come to him when she had questions about their relationship. She had promised to do that. "So, how have you been feeling?"

A hoarse grumble escaped past Lulu's lips as she flung herself backward on the bed. Throwing her hand over her eyes, she kicked her feet against the mattress a few times before propping herself up on her elbow. "I get so tired of hearing that question. I know that people have to ask it, but I wish that people could just come in here and be normal," Lulu professed. "Elizabeth tried earlier, but I could just see the concern in her eyes. At least you don't look at me like I could break any minute."

"I know how strong you are," Nadine replied automatically. "You're a Spencer, and everyone in Port Charles knows how resilient and driven you can be. You'll get through this. I don't care what the doctors say or what you think, you're a survivor. You would never let the ghost of Logan take away your life. Nikolas didn't let that happen with Emily."

The younger woman looked at her brother's girlfriend for a moment. She had never drawn the comparison before. Nikolas' delusions had been due to a tumor that nearly took his life. Lulu's were spurred from the regret of killing someone she had once loved. Even more than that, she felt guilty for keeping the secrets from everyone she loved and putting Johnny through all of this. "I guess I hadn't thought about it like that. Nikolas has been through something like this before. Maybe he'd actually understand…"

"He already does, Lulu," she assured her. "Nikolas talks about you all the time. If he had the chance, he would take all of this as his own. He knows what it's like to feel like a captive in your own mind. He understands what it's like to have everyone look at you as if you're crazy. I was the one person he told the truth when he started seeing Emily. I was able to help him get through it because I believed him. I knew that he was just sick, not crazy. I wanted to be there for him like Johnny has been there for you. Johnny sees the things in you that others might not see. He would give up anything to get you the help you need. I would've done the same thing for him."

It was the first time someone other than Carly had expressed an understanding for her feelings toward Johnny. "I guess it's kind of the same way with how I feel about Johnny," Lulu proclaimed. "No one gets how I could love him, but I see things in him that they miss out on. He just loves me. He doesn't care what his family thinks, he wants to take care of me. He's an incredible musician, fiercely loyal and amazingly soulful. He is so sentimental. I love to hear him talk about his mother and what it was like growing up with Claudia. I can actually see someone wroth loving in that woman through his eyes."

Nadine listened to Lulu gossip about her boyfriend, understanding that she just needed a friend to talk to. For the first time in weeks, Lulu didn't have to answer questions about what happened that night or defend her relationship. She didn't have to worry that Logan was going to pop up in the corner of the room and bring on a wave of terror. She didn't need to pretend that everything was alright or try to hide who she was so that everyone wouldn't scrutinize every word that came out of her mouth. She could just be who she was – a young woman in love with a boy that everyone might think was all wrong for her but she confidently knew was exactly what she needed.

After nearly an hour, Lulu entertained her with stories about growing up the younger sister of Lucky and Nikolas. She talked about when her oldest brother first came to town and how awkward it was for him to first be around the family. She recounted tales of watching him struggle with the everyday, mundane things that most people took for granted. She also talked a little about her parents and Lucky growing up on the run. It was nice to get a glimpse into the unconventional group of people that Lulu called her family. These were the people that mattered to Nikolas too.

"I have something else for you," Nadine confessed as she pulled the tote bag into her lap. Wrapped carefully in her favorite pashmina, she had managed to sneak it out of Wyndamere. She didn't want Nikolas to know that she was coming to visit Lulu or that she had taken this from him. Handing the package over to the other girl, she waited as Lulu peeled away the layers of fabric. A single tear fell down her face as she ran her hand over the surface of a silver engraved photo album. "I found this in the sitting room in that table next to the sofa. Nikolas doesn't know that I took it, so I'll have to tell him. I just thought that it might help to have photos of your family around. Even if they come to see you all the time, I'm sure you miss them. Looking at old photographs always brings me comfort."

Lulu opened the book and smiled down at the pages of snapshots. "We took this one at Lucky and Elizabeth's reception and this one after Cam's second birthday party," she said as she flipped over the sheet. There were pictures of Laura, Lucky, Elizabeth, Nikolas, the three boys, even her father. As she turned the page, Lulu was suddenly frozen as her gaze locked on a wedding photograph of Emily and Nikolas. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Emily was an important part of your past and your family. Nikolas loves her very much. I don't expect anyone to forget her or diminish her place in his life for my sake. There is room in his heart to love both of us," she assured her. "Think of it like this. Your father loved your mother more than anything. We all know the storybook romance of Luke and Laura. Your father also fell in love with Tracey. Now, I don't know her very well, but I know that they love each other. I saw it when he was in the hospital. Loving your mother doesn't limit his ability to love Tracey. He loves them both."

Looking down at the photo of her family on her parents wedding a few Novembers ago, Lulu couldn't help but smile. "I never thought I'd say this, but Tracey has been good for my father. She helped him move on when he didn't want to. They love each other, even if their relationship is completely screwed up. He's not an easy person to have in your life, but Tracey has fought to make it work. She has been like a mother to me, even if we haven't always liked each other. I think my mom would be glad that he found someone, just like I know that Emily would be glad that Nik found you."

Nikolas heard the last words of his sister's short monologue as he hid just outside her door. He had been watching Nadine and Lulu for the past few minutes, happy to see them getting closer. He hadn't even asked Nadine to take interest in his sister. She had done so on her own. She wanted to know his family, to be apart of his life. It meant everything that she had come here. He could have been angry that they were talking about him and their situation if he was who he had been just a few months ago, but he was just happy to see the two most important women in his world looking happy. "Hey, is this for girls only or can I come in?"

"Nikolas!" Lulu exclaimed as she flew across the room into her brother's arms. He hugged her tightly and smoothed her hair down. "You didn't tell me that you were coming."

"I wanted to surprise you, but it looks like somebody beat me to it," he commented with a smile, looking at a slightly embarrassed Nadine over Lulu's shoulder. "I thought that maybe you'd like to have lunch with me out in the garden. I convinced Mike to deliver a few of your favorites from Kelly's."

"I'm not really hungry," she confessed. "Nadine kind of brought me some vanilla caramel ice cream. Thanks for telling her about me, by the way. I've been craving that stuff for awhile. I was kind of surprised that Cook didn't send some over when Alice delivered the huge care package this morning. Anyhow, I don't want to eat yet but I could use some fresh air. I think I'll go down to check in with Lainey. Why don't you two meet me outside?"

The two of them agreed to meet Lulu out on the patio and Lulu went in search of her psychologist. Once they were alone, Nikolas came over and picked up the photo album. Lulu had stopped on a photo of the three siblings, their beaming faces smiling back at them as they posed in front of the big Christmas tree at Wyndamere. Nadine came up behind him and pressed her palms against his strong back. Resting her cheek against his body, she inhaled his scent appreciatively. "She's doing well, don't worry."

He turned around in her arms and hugged her tightly. Resting his chin on top of her head, he tried to just live in the moment and not let the darkness back in. "I just don't want her to suffer another setback," he murmured as she played with the hem of his light blue button-up shirt. "This has been so hard on her. I'm afraid to get my hopes up that she is actually getting better."

"You can believe," she whispered, pulling back slightly to look up into his eyes. "She needs you to believe in her. Have a little faith that she is as strong as you've told me. Give her the chance to be that woman. Whether you all like it or not, she loves Johnny. Lulu is all these different things. That's a good thing, Cassadine. It gives her more to live for."

"I love how optimistic you always are," he complimented, dropping a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Thank you for coming here."

Threading her arms around his waist, Nikolas leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him long and soft. "You're welcome," she murmured as they pulled apart. "Let's go for that walk."

"That sounds like a good idea, and afterward, there is somewhere I want to take you."

"Where? Is it a surprise?"

"It's not anything romantic," he told her. "I don't want you to feel let down, but I think you'll appreciate it anyhow. It's not somewhere incredible or anything. It's just somewhere I want you to see."

"I'd follow you anywhere, Cassadine," she joked.

Nikolas looked at her with a flash of darkness in his eyes. "I really hope so."


	14. Chapter 14

"I'm sorry that I haven't been by to visit you in awhile. I have a million excuses I could give you, but none of them seem quite good enough." Nikolas brushed his hands over the cool metal surface as he contemplated his confession, wondering what she would say if she could say something back. He could see her radiant smile in his mind, the one that had caused men to fight for her heart and risk their lives for her love. Now, she was reduced to a series of memories cemented into his brain and this sad and depressing place where life stood still. "There are some things I guess I just need you to know."

Tracing his fingers of the careful script of her name, Nikolas tried to remember the last time he had come to the Quartermaine crypt. It was probably in the spring when he had dropped off fresh gardenia and roses from Lila's garden. They had been the first blooms of the season. So much had changed in such a short time. He had been angry at the world then, determined to exhaust his body to the point that he would be unable to recover from whatever medical miracles Patrick Drake could come up with. Emily would have hated Nikolas for giving up. She would have loved Nadine for not letting him. At least that could bring him a little peace.

"You know, everyone kept telling me that you would want me to be happy, but the only thing I could think about was that I had been happy. I had an amazing life with you, Em. I wouldn't have traded all the memories that we shared for anything, not even the bad ones. They made us who we were," he said as he rested his palm flat against her nameplate. "Another part of me felt guilty. How could I be happy when I didn't have you? I never thought I would be able to be happy alone, let alone with someone else. That's all changed when I started to see Nadine – I mean, really _see_ her."

An intimate smile crept onto Nikolas' face as he thought about the woman in his life. A month ago, he would have never come here to talk to Emily about Nadine. He wouldn't have allowed anyone other than his lost love to be on his mind when he came here. However, letting Nadine into his heart had reminded him that Emily had been his friend first. She had loved him even before either of them really understood what that meant. He had finally accepted what everyone had been trying to tell him for a long time. Emily would want him to move on. Letting her go at the park had been the first step toward building a life with Nadine. Bringing her here was going to be the next.

"She's waiting for me in the car. She thought that I should have a few minutes alone with you first. Can you believe that? I know it's hard for her sometimes when I talk about you, but she always listens. She knows what you meant to be and wants to be apart of my grief. Having her there helps so much. She actually finds a way to make it okay," he tried to explain. Emily had understood a lot about Nikolas, but there were things that even she didn't quite comprehend. Those were the things that came easily to Nadine. They were different in that way. They both saw different things in him worth loving. "I'm going to get her now. She needs to see this place, to see me here. There are a lot of places I still want to take her. I want for her to know my life. You were a big part of that for a very long time, the biggest part really."

Pressing a kiss to his fingertips, he laid his hand on her nameplate one final time before pulling his coat tightly around his body and heading toward the parking lot. His dark town car was idling in one of the spaces nearest to the tree-lined path that led to the Quartermaines' private crypt. As he neared the vehicle, a bundled Nadine popped out of the car and jogged toward him. Her cornstalk blonde hair was tucked neatly beneath a striped stocking cap, a matching scarf wrapped around her neck. It was unusually cold for September, and Nikolas loved how innocent and cute she looked in her cozy garb. She slipped her mittened hand in his when she reached him and leaned up to kiss him briefly. "That was quick," she declared as he pulled back. Nikolas smiled genuinely and framed her beautiful face in his hands. "Are you sure about this?"

Nikolas nodded silently as he leaned in to kiss her again. "I know what I am doing," he promised. "I'm not saying that this is going to be easy, but I know that it's the right thing." Squeezing her hand, he started to guide her back down the sidewalk toward the brick building hidden deeper into the grove of oak and elm trees. Leaves crunched beneath their boots as a gentle breeze whipped around them. "I've never brought anyone here before other than Spencer, and I don't think he really knows what is going on. He barely remembers Emily, and I think most of those memories come from photographs and stories."

Ducking beneath a low branch, Nadine smiled up at Nikolas. She understood how much this meant not only to him but them as a couple. He was slowly finding ways to let her into his life. "What is your favorite memory of Emily?" she asked. "I'm sure there are a lot of tiny little moments that you remember, so tell me something about her."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Nikolas tried to focus his mind on one story that would explain who Emily was or why he had loved her. Nadine was right, there were so many things he could share about Emily with her. "Emily always knew that we were connected, long before I thought of her as more than anything but a friend. Back when she was in high school, I didn't even consider her my best friend. I definitely cared about her but not anymore than I did Elizabeth or Lucky," he remembered. "When she came back from California, all of that changed. My life had been a mess those past few years, especially after I broke up with Gia. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, but we just ended up hurting each other in the end."

Nadine had only heard brief mentions of Nikolas' former fiancée. He had been engaged many times if the gossip around the hospital was true, but Gia was one of the few that most agreed had truly mattered to the Cassadine prince. She knew that the woman had been the sister of a former detective as well as a model. Nikolas had always had a thing for beautiful women apparently, and Nadine couldn't help but feel a little mousy in comparison. She was far from model material, but under his watchful gaze, she always felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. That was his gift – transforming the ordinary into something exquisite. Even if it was only a figure of her imagination or a distorted way of thinking, it was real to Nadine.

"The thing I didn't know at the time was that Emily had come back to Port Charles because she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. You know that already, but what you don't know is that she didn't come home to me, at least not at first. She actually married another man. I don't know if you've heard about Zander, but he was Emily's first husband and the biological father to Cameron," Nikolas explained. "That's not really important. What's important was that I still didn't know that I loved Emily. It took nearly losing her for me to understand what she meant to me."

"Go on," she prodded as they stopped outside the entrance of the building. Nikolas looked up at her and smiled, grateful that she was so eager to help him remember. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think about that dreadful night when he had almost lost her the first time. As hard as that night had been, it had changed everything. The course of his life had changed completely after they had shared that dream. "Please, Nikolas, I want to know. I can tell this matters so much to you."

He led her over to a wrought iron bench and sat down. Turning toward her, he never let go of her hand. He stared into her eyes for a moment, feeling a serenity wash over him that had become commonplace since the night he had shown up outside her apartment door. "Things got really bad with Em, and we were sure one night that she wasn't going to make it. I'd fallen completely in love with her by then, but I hadn't really told anyone. She didn't even know yet, at least not for sure," he told her. "But that night, both of us realized what we had been trying so hard to fight. She didn't want to hurt Zander, and I didn't want to put anymore pressure on her. After that night, we couldn't deny it anymore."

"That's the night your love saved Emily, isn't it?" Nikolas had only spoken of it once, when he had been near death in the hospital. He had spoken of Emily often during the darkest days, and Nadine had listened patiently to him.

"Yeah, it was," he answered finally. "Emily and I had the same dream that night. She told me later on that she could literally feel my love for her from the other side of the wall. I'm not sure if that's true, but it's a beautiful thought nonetheless. She always said that having me there saved her. She saved me a million times after that in a million different ways, but I got to be her knight in shining armor first." A single tear drifted down Nadine's cheek, and Nikolas reached down to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. "Now, we'll have none of those."

Nadine pressed her forehead to his, her breath shallow as it tickled his chin. "Kiss me," she implored, her hands tangling in his short locks. Nikolas wasn't sure what had drawn her into such an insistent moment, but he obliged her with a long kiss as he held onto her tightly. "You are an amazing man, Nikolas Cassadine."

"Only you would hear me talk about loving another woman and see something good in me," he smiled affectionately at her as he traced his fingers down her jaw line. "Thank you for not asking me to forget Emily. I'm glad that you're willing to help me remember. It helps more than I could ever tell you."

"You're welcome," she retorted as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I like knowing what made you the man that you are. All of these stories brought you here to me in this moment. I am grateful to Emily for helping you become this incredible guy. I hate that you had to go through the pain of losing her, but I'm not sorry that I found you."

Neither of them said anything for a long time until a clap of thunder sounded somewhere in the distance. "A storm is coming," Nikolas frowned as he stood up. He pulled a key back from his pocket and opened the door to usher Nadine into the safety of the building. "Emily, I want you to meet Nadine," he announced as they walked over to her nameplate. "There are some things I should tell you about her. I think that Nadine and you would have been friends. That's one of the things that first attracted me to her."

He turned away from Nadine slightly as he talked to the ghost of someone who was no longer there. "She's also very different from you. You were always calm and collected, known as the reasonable Quartermaine. Nadine tends to get wrapped up in the moment and ramble when she's nervous. I used to find it unsettling but now I love it. She didn't know that but I guess now she does."

"The biggest thing you have in common though is the ability to see the best in me. You did it long before anyone saw anything in me other than a snobby prince who didn't understand even the most basic American customs," he continued. "With Nadine, she saw someone that she wouldn't give up on. Apparently, she thought I was worth fighting with and fighting for. I hated her for it at the time but now I am eternally grateful."

Sliding her arm around Nikolas' waist, Nadine listened to him talk so openly and honestly about her. "The most important reason I brought her to here today is because there is something I wanted to tell both of you," he admitted. He turned slightly and looked at Nadine before continuing. All of his words up until now had been directed to his old love but these words were meant for his new love and hopefully his last love. "I saved you once, Em, but Nadine saved me. I'm here today because of her."

It was Nikolas' turn for tears to shine in his dark eyes. Nadine didn't make a move to wipe them away. She allowed them to come. Finally, when he began to openly sob much like he had that night in her doorway, she leaned up on her very tiptoes and kissed away the salty drops from his warm skin. She understood that he had said everything that he had come there to say. He had gotten it all out for now. "Let's go home," she murmured into his ear as she looped her arm through his and pulled him toward the door. She reached into his coat pocket and retrieved the key to lock the building behind them. Nikolas allowed her to put him back into the car and to hold him as he cried silently all the way back to the launch.

By the time they were headed halfway across the harbor, he had collected himself enough to apologize for getting so emotional. Nadine had dismissed it immediately, confiding that she was truly happy that they had gone there today. When they finally reached Spoon Island, Nikolas helped her from the small watercraft and resumed his place as the chivalrous man determined to help her. "Spencer is gone again. He's spending the day with Bobbie," he explained as they came into the warm entryway of Wyndamere. "I knew that today was probably going to be emotionally. I didn't want him to see me like this. I don't really want anyone to see me like this actually, but I feel like it's okay with you."

Nadine smiled appreciatively as she poured them both a cup of coffee from the silver service set Alfred had laid out for them in the sitting room. Nikolas wandered over to the fireplace and easily lit a sizable flame in the grand hearth before accepting the mug from her. They both ambled over to the sofa and sprawled out, their shoes discarded on the ground and a blanket spread over their laps. "I like being here with you like this," Nadine mused as she rested her feet in his lap. Nikolas sat down his coffee to begin the slow but sensual process of rubbing her feet. "It's so comfortable. I feel at home."

"Good," he retorted as he wiggled her toes. "I want you to know that I appreciate how slow you've let me take this relationship. I know that it's been hard at times. Knowing that you understand and support me helps so much. Having you there today…Nadine, I just want you to know what that meant."

"I do," she assured him as she swung her legs from his lap and crawled up beside him. Nikolas pressed her cheek to his as they watched the shadows of the flames dance across the walls. "Someday I want you to go with me to Texas to see where I grew up and where my parents are buried. I think that it's the only way I can really show you where I came from. Being home explains why I am the way I am, I guess. I haven't been there in so long. I miss it."

Rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, he kept his eyes focused on the shadows waltzing for their entertainment. "Tell me what you miss."

"Well, there is the obvious. I miss my parents and my aunt and all of the kids that I grew up. I had so many friends at home, people I had literally known all my life. We used to have these crazy parties in the fields. Gosh, it was so great growing up there," she gushed. "There are little things that I miss, too. I miss the Friday night lights of the first home football game at my old high school. I miss the smell of burning leaves drifting in through my windows when I'm trying to go to sleep. I miss putting wildflowers in my windowsill and seeing old men in overalls outside the bait shop. I miss my aunt's blackberry pie, hearing my mom sing to herself while she fried bacon in the morning or the way my dad would hug me so completely with his whole body. I miss gossiping with my sister in the dark from our beds in the room we shared. I miss so much, but I guess the thing I have missed so much is the feeling that all those things give me. I've missed the sense of home."

Turning slowly toward her, Nikolas searched her eyes for the underlying meaning that he knew was there. She had said so much, but there was still a lot going unsaid. "And now?"

"I don't miss it in the same way anymore," she professed. "My sense of home has changed. Texas will always be where I came from. It's apart of my soul. However, as much as I love it there, it's not where I belong. It's not where my life is. All of that is here in Port Charles now. My career, my friends, my apartment, you…"

"You're home, you know that," he assured her as he ran his hands up and down her bare arms. Nadine nodded hesitantly, her eyes hazy but full of emotion. "I mean it, Nadine. To me, home isn't some place, it's someone. You're at home with me. I want Spencer and me to be your home."


	15. Chapter 15

Nikolas sat in a padded chair outside Lulu's private room at Shadybrook, doing his best to swallow his anger and his fear after watching Scott Baldwin railroad and berate his baby sister. Lulu had been frozen like a deer caught in the headlights, her doe eyes wavering as she stared at Johnny. Flashes of watching Laura breakdown washed over him like a bitter enemy he hoped to never meet again. It had been difficult going through this the first and second times but experiencing this with Lulu was even harder. He had saved her life once when she was just a baby, and now he was going to have to do it all over again. If only he had moved a little faster, she would have already been in Switzerland. If only he had gone to Jason sooner. There were so many things he should have done, but now, he just needed to make sure that she was okay.

Having Nadine there for most of the trial had been probably the only sanity he had in the midst of such an awful situation for Nikolas' entire family. She had sat by his side the entire time, offering to be his sounding board when he needed to rant and carefully giving her advice when she knew that he was acting rash. After she had testified on the stand and Scott had put their entire relationship on display, he was sure that she would have stayed away from the courthouse. However, she was just as determined as ever to stand by his side and make sure that he was okay.

"Well, Lulu is finally resting," Lainey announced as she closed the door behind her. Nikolas peaked over the psychologist's doctor to see his sister curled up in a ball on her bed. She looked so young and little. "She is just as adamant as ever about convincing Scott Baldwin that she did this. It's going to take some intensive therapy to get her through these next few weeks."

"Whatever it takes," Nikolas retorted immediately, his brow wrinkled in concern. Money was no object here, he would do anything that he needed to do to make sure that Lulu was okay. "I'll bring in whatever specialists you recommend. We can take her to whatever clinics. Anything Lu needs, you just name it and I will make sure that she gets it. I want to do everything in my power to make sure that she gets the help that she needs. If there is even the slightest chance that she can make a full recovery, I will consider it time and money well spent."

The pretty doctor smiled at him appreciatively. She had seen his generosity firsthand through her friendship with Emily and in her many dealings with him when it came to his mother. It was only natural that he would extend that same devotion to his baby sister. She just hoped that her friend was getting the same treatment. "There are some people that we can talk with. I know that you all called in a few specialists from Europe when your mother was first diagnosed," she said. "I think that we should consider brining them in again since they have prior knowledge of family history. There is also a doctor that I worked with in San Francisco that is a well-known expert in the field."

Nikolas tapped the names of the doctors into his BlackBerry so that he would be able to make contact with them at the beginning of the week. He also listened as Lainey recommended a few facilities he could get in touch with in case they needed to get her out of Port Charles. "I actually have a few questions I would like to ask you about Lulu's diagnosis…" He was suddenly cut off by the impolite buzzing of his phone from his pocket. Pulling it back out, he glanced down at the screen. Not recognizing the number, he answered it cautiously in case it was someone in the media. "Nikolas Cassadine."

"Nikolas, it's Elizabeth," his friend said on the other end of the line. Her voice was breathy, as if she had been running. He could also detect the concern and anxiety in her tone, even with the mere three words she had spoken. "There was an explosion at the clinic."

Elizabeth's words echoed over and over again in his ears. All he could think about was the months of work that had gone into building the free clinic in Emily's honor. He remembered how wonderful it had felt when they held the dedication ceremony. He remembered what good it felt when they treated their first patient. He had fought hard with the mayor to get the permits pushed through and then to open the doors. The counterfeit drugs had nearly shut him down. He had overcome so much. They all had – everyone there, especially Nadine. Now, that was all taken away from them. It had literally gone up in flames. Just as he was about to ask what the estimated damage was, it occurred to him that she hadn't mentioned that it was empty. "Who was inside?"

Even before she said it, Nikolas knew the answer. "Matt Hunter was found unconscious on the floor. It appears that someone knocked him out. He was brought in for blunt trauma to the head, internal bleeding and smoke inhalation," she told him. He could hear by the background sounds that she was at the hospital. He could also hear that there was something that she wasn't telling him.

"Who found him?"

Stretching her pause out for as long as she could, Elizabeth wracked her brain for a way to tell Nikolas that she had been there. Somehow she knew that he knew, but he still needed to hear the words from him. "She's here, Nikolas. You need to get here now. She needs you."

He didn't even bother to say goodbye when he hung up the phone. Without even explaining to Lainey, he shoved his phone back in his pocket and took off into a full sprint toward the parking garage. He could hear the echoes of his shoes pounding on the cement as he came upon his car. He suddenly wished that he had his driver because the last thing he needed to be doing right now was driving. However, thinking about Nadine alone in the hospital, he didn't really care. He just wanted to get there as quickly as he could. It was only a matter of seconds before he had started the engine and pulled out onto the busy boulevard. He didn't even bother to look for oncoming traffic. He just needed to get there.

The entire drive over to General Hospital was spent praying silently to God, calling on every favor he had with his guardian angel and asking Emily to watch over Nadine for him. He drove erratically, tailgating whenever a car in front of him dared to drive the speed limit. He didn't think he had ever used the horn as much as he did in those few short blocks to the hospital. Every light seemed to be red, but he didn't care. He just disregarded them as he zoomed through the busy intersections. He had to get to her. He couldn't lose someone else. He couldn't lose her.

"Where is she?" he screamed a few minutes later as he came bounding off the elevator and into the packed emergency room. Epiphany Johnson looked up from the nurse's station and said something to one of the other nurses before coming out to talk to him. Her brown eyes were masked with concern as she grabbed his elbow and ushered him into a private room. "Please, where is Nadine?"

"Mr. Cassadine, Nurse Crowell is getting ready to go into surgery. I am going to page Nurse Webber to come sit with you. She will explain everything or at least as much as she can," Epiphany promised. "And I give you my word that Nadine is going to get the best medical care possible. We take care of our own. Patrick Drake is the attending surgeon, and I am going to scrub in myself. Just say a prayer."

Nikolas hated the nurse for her calm temper and unwavering faith. He didn't want a lot of empty promises, he just wanted answers. He wanted to know who had done this, why it had happened, what was going on with Nadine, what was going to happen to her, how he hadn't seen this coming… The questions were infinite, but only one answer really mattered. He just needed to know where she was. He wanted to see her for himself. He wanted to stroke her hair, look into her eyes, hold her hand, kiss her, anything. He just wanted to be with her.

Five minutes after Epiphany had left him alone, a worn Elizabeth came busting through the door. She wordlessly wrapped her arms around Nikolas, noting how tense he was. His jaw was set in fierce determination, his demeanor disconnected. There were no tears in his eyes. He was cold and distant, almost like he was trying to force himself to hold it together until he knew. "Nikolas, Nadine is in surgery now. I walked down with her myself. She was unconscious but breathing on her own."

One by one, he began to ask his questions. He found out that Nadine had gone into help get Matt out of the clinic when the roof had collapsed on top of her. She had been knocked unconscious when a sizable beam crushed against her right temple, sending her across the concrete floor. Lucky was on the scene investigating and had promised to call his ex-wife as soon as he knew anything. They were doing surgery on Nadine to help stop the internal bleeding and to repair her punctured lung. There was a lot more to her condition, but Nikolas had phased out somewhere near the middle. The only thing he could think about was her waking up again.

They sat together like that in the waiting room for the next two hours, neither of them saying more than a few words. Elizabeth left once to retrieve a cup of coffee for him, which he never drank. The only phone call Nikolas accepted was one from Wyndamere so that he could check on Spencer and to ask Alfred to call Lesley to come get him for the night. Mostly, he just stared at the floor, his hands bent in silent prayer, as he tapped his toe. He tried to remember all the little things about her that always made him smile. He tried to believe that everything was going to be okay. He tried to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his head that wanted to remind him that this always happens to the Cassadines. He tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall at any moment.

Finally, Elizabeth's pager blared and she nodded at him once. He silently followed her out of the room and into the quiet corridors that led to the recovery rooms. Patrick was standing outside a room at the end of the hall with Robin, both of their heads bent over a clipboard of charts. Epiphany was next to them, nodding as she made notations on clipboard of her own. Their faces were grave and serious, completely devoid of any positive indicators.

"Nikolas," Robin announced, clearing her voice so that Epiphany and Patrick both looked up to politely regard the man. "Patrick and I wanted to stay here so that you could hear about Nadine's condition from us personally."

Holding up his hand, Nikolas shook his hands. "I know that I need to hear this and I really want to but unless it is life-threatening, it can wait. Is it?" When both doctors shook their heads, he smiled slightly and nodded. "Good, well, I'm sure that what you have to say matters and I need to hear it. However, I need to see her first. I need to see with my own eyes that she is fine."

Patrick started to say something when Epiphany stepped between the two men. "She's right in here, Nikolas," she told him, her voice uncharacteristically soft as she reached for his hand. He allowed her to guide him toward the room where Nadine laid lifelessly inside. He stood outside the room and watched her through the window for a moment. Her body was covered with tubes and machines chirped at her bedside. Her face was ashen with burns along her cheekbones. Her blonde hair was grimy from the smoke and her eyes were shut. He would have given anything to look into those ocean blue puddles of grace right now. "It's okay, go in. She needs you."

Letting himself into the room, Nikolas finally allowed the tears to come. Nadine was still unconscious. There were cuts and scrapes all over her skin. Her heartbeat wasn't as strong as it could have been and there were a lot of liquids hooked up to her monitors. However, she was alive. He could finally see that she was still here with him. His tears weren't those of sadness or anger or pain. They were of utter joy. He still had her. "Oh, God," he choked as he slid down on his knees beside her bed. Grabbing her hand, he brought her cool palm to his lips and kissed each knuckle. "Please, Nadine, you can't leave me. I should have been there with you. There are so many things I want to say, things I should have said…"

He had thought about saying that he loved her a million times over the past week, but the timing had never been right. They hadn't even made love yet. There were so many things they hadn't experienced together. He just wanted them to have their chance. Nadine was such a good soul. She certainly deserved more than he could ever give her, even if she believed it was everything. He loved her and now that he was ready to acknowledge that, he could lose her. He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't lose her. He'd fight this for her. He wasn't sure how he could do that but he would try. He needed to do something so that he didn't feel helpless or hopeless. He just wished that she would wake up and tell him what that thing was.

He knew that Robin, Patrick, Epiphany and Elizabeth were still watching him through the window but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything or anyone other than what was going on in that room. Lulu wasn't even on his mind as he knelt on the floor next to that bed. It was just her. It was just Nadine. He took her hand again and folded it together with his until they were clasped tightly in prayer. He began to recite every prayer he could remember, even ones from other religions and faiths. Then, he stood up, leaned over and pressed his ear to her heart. As long as he could hear that beat, he wouldn't slip under again. He could fight the darkness. He could be strong for her. He had found his way to fight. He would guide her back into the light.


	16. Chapter 16

"Okay, this is the one Spencer drew this morning. He told me that it is supposed to be trees and flowers, but I still think that it looks like a tornado. A beautiful tornado, but a tornado nonetheless," Nikolas announced as he held up the single sheet of construction paper in front of Nadine. Her eyes were closed. She couldn't see the mass of blue, red and green scribbles. She couldn't hear the words that he was saying. She didn't even know that he was here. Still, Nikolas kept on talking and showing her the stack of artwork his son had created especially for her. "We worked on this one together. Spencer drew three horses, and I did the trees. It's supposed to be the three of us that day in the clearing. It was his idea."

Every single time he came into that room, no matter how hard he tried, Nikolas still hoped that this would be the time that he would find her cornflower blue eyes wide open, just waiting for him. He had spent nearly every waking hour at her bedside, patiently holding vigil over her comatose body while he prayed for a miracle. After all he had been through in his life, after all she had been through in her life, he felt like they both deserved one. And yet, every time he left General Hospital, he was a little more discouraged that she still wasn't awake. It had been almost a week, and he knew that every passing day lessened her chances for a full recovery. It was hard to hold onto hope but he had to. She had believed once when he had wanted to give up, and it was his turn to be that person for her.

Brushing his fingers over his tired face, Nikolas stood up to carefully arrange the various drawings across the window sill to the picture window that took up most of the north wall in Nadine's room. He had moved her just down the hall from her sister a day after Patrick decided to move her out of ICU. Her private room was one of the biggest in the hospital and gave him plenty of room to pace the floor while he waited for her to wake up. When he wasn't covering every inch of the cold tile, he had made up his mind to surround her with the things that she loved. He had convinced her building manager to let him into her apartment so that he could bring her favorite blanket and a few family photographs to decorate her room. He had fresh flowers sent in every morning and brought her pictures every day from Spencer. It was such a minor thing to do for her, but it was all that he could do for her right now. It made him feel at least a little better to know she would have loved it.

Turning back, he watched her chest rise and fall steadily for a moment before resuming his customary position hunched over her bed. He would hold her hand for hours as he told her stories about growing up in Europe or recount things going on with her friends or simply read to her from the book she kept on her bedside table. Reading had been such a comfort to Emily when she was fighting cancer, and he wanted it to provide that same sense of solace to Nadine. Really, it didn't matter to him what he was doing when he was in that room with her. He could spend hours completely silent, watching her sleep. He looked for every involuntarily flinch of her muscles or twitch of her eyes. His favorite was when she would let a peaceful sigh escape from her lips. Anything and everything was a small victory for him, but those sighs were the only time he really felt like she might know that he was there.

Now, as he wearily peered up at her, he would have given anything to hear her voice. Straightening up, he reached down to the paper shopping bag Alfred had sent with him. "I brought something else to show you," he told her as he lifted the envelope into his lap. "I don't know if you remember when we took these, but I finally had them developed. You look so beautiful in your dress." He held up a photograph of them together at the clinic opening and smiled. Her smile was so wide that day, her eyes enchanted by all of the attention their efforts had warranted. He had never told her that he had been equally enchanted but only by her. "Nadine, do you see it? Please, open your eyes and look at it. We were so happy that day, but as happy as I was, it doesn't even compare to how happy you've made me feel sense. Please, open your eyes for me! I need you to open your eyes."

His pleading was soft but insistent, completely useless given everything that the doctors had told him. However, Nikolas refused to fully believe that Nadine couldn't hear him. A part of him knew that she was aware that he was in that room with her and had been ever since she had been put in here. "I'm trying to be patient," he promised in a hoarse whisper as he reached for her hand. "I know that I just have to wait it out. You're in there somewhere, fighting to come back to me. I don't care what Patrick Drake says, you will come back to me. You have to come back to me, to us. Spencer misses you so much. I miss you so much. I miss us."

Nikolas rarely allowed himself to cry whenever he was with Nadine, but there were moments like these when he couldn't help it. Burying his face in the soft cotton blanket covering her body, he allowed the tears to come and consume him completely. It wasn't fair. He would have given anything to switch places with her, even though that wasn't at all what she would want. "When you wake up and are strong enough, I am going to take you as far away from Port Charles as we can get," he decided. "The three of us will go to Europe and swim in the crystal blue waters of the Aegean. We'll take my private yacht and sail over to Crete. We can just cruise through the Mediterranean. There are so many little tiny islands and the world's best beaches. You'll love it."

A knock at the door interrupted Nikolas' daydream of holding a sunkissed Nadine in his arms on the deck of his spacious ocean liner while Spencer played at their feet. Looking up, he tried to muster a smile for his brother and cousin standing in the doorway. Leaning down, he brushed a kiss over Nadine's knuckles. "I'll be back in a minute," he vowed in a hushed whisper before leaving her side. He followed Lucky and Sam into the quiet hallway and pulled the door shut behind him. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Elizabeth said that you haven't left the hospital all day," Lucky retorted. Nikolas hated the way his younger brother sounded in the moment, almost as if he was criticizing him for his devotion to Nadine. He knew that wasn't what Lucky meant, he was just concerned. "We thought we'd stop by and see if you wanted to grab a quick bite at Kelly's. You probably haven't eaten all day, and the food in this place is barely digestible."

"I appreciate the offer, but I ate a sandwich a few hours ago. Thanks for coming by," Nikolas said politely as he tried to retreat back to Nadine's side. Sam reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder to stop him. Nikolas repressed a huff as he looked down at his feet in defeat. The entire situation was wearing not only on him but also the people around him. They had been so supportive, coming by to check on him and sit with her while he spent time with his son. "I'm sorry, I just can't leave her. The only time I am not with her is when I am with Spencer. That's the only way I can justify not being here. He's sleeping over at Liz's tonight, so I am going to stay here."

Concern washed over Sam's dark eyes as she listened to her cousin. She understood where he was coming from. She had sat by Jason's side more than once when they were together, praying that he would just wake up and come back to her. She would do the same thing with Lucky if she had to. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

Nikolas shook his head before offering them a sad smile. "Just pray for her," he requested, running his fingers through his uncharacteristically unkempt hair. "I'm making sure that she gets everything that she needs, but we could use all the prayers we can get. It helps knowing that you guys come by to see her. Leyla and the other girls come by whenever they can, and Elizabeth makes sure to stop by every day. I really appreciate everything you have done for us."

Sam looked at him for a minute longer. She could sense that something was off, like he needed to talk. "I think I am going to go downstairs and call my mom. She said something about bringing the girls by tomorrow to visit you. I want to find out what time she is going to be here. Maybe all of us Cassadines can have lunch together or something." She hugged Nikolas tightly before chastely kissing Lucky on his cheek.

The two brothers watched as she disappeared around the corner, leaving them alone for the first time since the explosion. Nikolas turned away from Lucky and watched Nadine through the glass window. The two of them had been in similar situations too many times in their short lives. There had been the time when Lulu was just a baby and they had watched her fighting for her life in the pediatric ward. There were all the hours spent in oncology when Emily was struggling with breast cancer. There were the many goodbyes they had said to Laura at Shadybrook and now with Lulu. It was only fitting that they were there together while yet another person important to them laid lifelessly inside a hospital room.

Lucky shoved his hands in his pocket and moved to stand next to his brother. Neither man looked at the other as they watched her inside, the only sound between them the beeping of her heart monitor. "I love her, Lucky," Nikolas confided quietly. "I don't know if you knew that, but I do. I wanted to tell her but I kept putting it off because I wanted it to be perfect. Even now, I want to tell her but I can't. The first time I say those words to her cannot be like this. I want her to be able to say them back. I know that she would, Nadine loves me. I'm not sure I knew that before she got hurt, but spending all this time going every little memory of us together has made it abundantly clear. I don't know how I could have ever doubted our feelings for each other. That woman in there not only saved my life but she changed. She made me believe in love again."

It had taken Nikolas a long time to get past losing Emily, and in some ways, Lucky knew that he would never fully get over it. Still, he knew that Nadine's achievement was no small feat. She had restored his faith. "You don't have to do this alone," he professed confidently, unsure where those words had come from. "Nadine wouldn't want you to even try to do this on your own. We are all here for you. We love you, Nik, and by extension, we love Nadine. Anyone that you choose to love automatically gets Lu and me as part of the deal. We are a family and whatever comes our way, we will deal with it together."

"I won't lose her, Lucky. I can't go through that again. I warned Nadine that the people in my life get hurt but she didn't care. She would have risked anything, including her own life to be with me. Now I know that I would have risked mine," he confided. "I was supposed to be there that night but I got caught up at the clinic. We were going to do inventory. She was there because of me. If I hadn't asked her to work there, none of this would have happened. If I had insisted that we stop investigating the counterfeit drugs, we might not have been targeted. There are so many things I could have done differently…"

"You know as well as I do that isn't what she would have wanted," Lucky countered. "Nadine is like Sam in that way. No matter how hard I try to fight her, she insists on figuring out who is putting these drugs in our city. She cares too much about people not to try to save them. You should know that better than anyone. At least with you apart of it, it was something that you were doing together. You can't really think about what you could have done differently. You can only live in the here and now."

"I don't want to live in the here and now," Nikolas spat bitterly. How could he want this life, this day, when she wasn't here to share it with him? "Imagine waking up every day knowing that Sam can't open her eyes or say your name or hold your hand. Imagine having to see the woman you love as unreachable to you as Mom. When I lost Em, I promised myself that I would never go through that again. Now, I find myself here wondering if I've already lost her. I try not to think about that. I want more than anything to believe."

"Then believe," Lucky encouraged him as his bright azure eyes darted from Nadine to his brother. The two men moved away from the window as Epiphany arrived with Patrick to do her mid-afternoon check up. Patrick reached up to close the blinds for privacy as the duo changed out her bandages. "I've seen the way you are with Nadine. I've never seen you like that with anyone. You're happy, Nikolas, and I know that scares you. It scares you, it has to. Right now, with everything going on, it's really easy to give into that fear but you can't. If you are going to love her, really love her. Believe for her because she can't do that for herself right now."

Nikolas had an entire argument concocted in his head when Patrick came bounding out of the room. He rushed past them down the hallway, leaving the door to Nadine's room wide open. Epiphany came out breathlessly a minute later. "Nadine is awake," she grinned, her eyes sparkling with delight. She reached out and pulled on Nikolas' elbow. "She's asking for you."

Shrugging past the nurse, Nikolas sprinted into the room and to her side. Nadine's eyes fluttered open half-heartedly before shutting again. Nikolas reached down and stroked her hair before kissing the crown of her head tenderly. "Hey, you," he whispered into her ear. She turned her gaze toward him and mustered a small smile. "God, you are so beautiful."

"Charmer," she managed in a hoarse whisper, the syllables sputtering from her dry throat. Nikolas laughed at her single word as he leaned over her bed to kiss her again. He laid feathery caresses over her forehead, across her eyelids, upon each cheek and on the tip of her nose before pressing his lips to hers. She sighed contently as he pulled away, careful not to ware her out. "Happy you're here."

A moment later, Nikolas was escorted out of the room as a full medical team began to examine Nadine. He paced the hallway outside while Lucky watched him carefully, neither of them speaking. The occasional nurse or specialist would drift in or out of the room, gaining the Cassadine Prince's full attention. He tried to ask questions, but no one would address him directly. They would only glance at him awkwardly before moving on. Finally, Robin came down the hall, her pregnant belly barely hidden beneath her scrubs. Nikolas stopped his old friend with a strong hand on her shoulder. "Robin, tell me what is going on."

Robin took a deep breath. How could she explain to him that she couldn't disclose any medical information because they weren't married? She would want to know if it was Patrick. "I can't tell you much, Nikolas, but they are probably going to want to do surgery now that Nadine is awake again," she offered. "She sustained a lot of injuries and it's hard to tell the extent of her pain when she's unresponsive. Now that she can answer his questions, Patrick will have a better idea what course of action is necessary. It's going to be awhile. Why don't you head down to the waiting room? Patrick and I will come get you when we know something."

Nikolas started to argue but Lucky guided him away from Nadine's room and into the private lounge reserved for families and friends. Elizabeth was seated alone in one corner and immediately rose when she spotted her two best friends. "I saw the page come over the system," she mumbled as Lucky sat him down in the middle of the row of chairs. They sat on either side of him, flanking him as he stared listlessly at the ugly carpet. Elizabeth reached over for his hand while Lucky pressed his hand to his back. They exchanged a worried look over Nikolas' hunched back. The entire situation seemed impossible.

The three of them sat like that for nearly an hour before Patrick and Robin reappeared to give them the news. Elizabeth had tried to get details from one of the other nurses but they had been forbidden to say anything to even her. Leyla and Elizabeth neither one had been able to work on her case since Nadine was admitted. They were too close to the situation. The only nurse that Nadine worked directly with that was allowed to care for her was Epiphany and that was only because she had enough seniority and clout to dictate her own patients. The towering nurse accompanied the doctors to give the news to Nikolas now.

"Nadine has severe pain in her chest from the lung injuries that she sustained. Now that she is awake and breathing on her own, I want to try to go in and repair more of the damage that we didn't get the first time," Patrick explained. "We need to do it immediately to take advantage of the small window of time I've been given. I am going to take her down right away to start the surgery."

Another surgery, another risk, another span of time where she would be unconscious, another few hours that he wasn't with her. "Whatever is best for her," Nikolas grimaced as he looked at the two doctors. He knew that it was hard for them to have to treat one of their own, especially someone that they considered to be a friend. "I want to see her before she goes under."

"She is asking for you again," Patrick said with a curt nod. "You have just a minute before they are going to administer the anesthetic. You can walk down with her to the operating room if you want."

Nikolas followed the surgeon back to Nadine's room and tried to think of what he should say. As soon as he laid eyes on her, any plan he had fell out the window. There was nothing he could say. Tears spilled out of his eyes as he crept back to her bedside. She glanced up at him before raising her weak hand to reach for his. "None of those," she ordered softly. "Only good thoughts."

"Only good thoughts," he agreed as he squeezed her hand. "After you wake up from this surgery, you cannot leave me for a very long time, you understand? We have so much to talk about. I am tired of watching you sleep. I want to hear you laugh. I am tired of just holding your hand. I want to hold you in my arms. I am tired of not being able to kiss you. I want to kiss you until we are both senseless."

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed tiredly. "I think I have to go now, but I want you to know that I am going to come back." Nadine struggled to get out the words, but Nikolas knew that this was important to her. "I promised you, Cassadine. I will fight. I will always come back for us."

An orderly came in with Patrick to bring her down to the operating room. Nikolas clutched her hand tightly as he walked along side her bed, keeping his eyes locked on hers as they traveled down the hall. When they reached the OR, Patrick stopped and told them to say goodbye. "I'll be back soon," Nadine promised as Nikolas brushed a kiss over her forehead. "Wait for me right here."

"I'll be there when you wake up," he promised before they wheeled her through the swinging doors. Nikolas looked through the window for a minute before slinking back against the wall and sliding to the floor. Lifting his knees to his chin, he tucked his face against his legs and began the ritual of praying all over again. He would sit there however long it took Nadine to come back to him. He would stay there all night, forever if he had to. Closing his eyes, he whispered his promise to her repeatedly, over and over again. "I'm here, Nadine, I'm right here waiting for you."


	17. Chapter 17

Twelve hours later, Nikolas found himself doubled over in a hard plastic chair with a paper thin blanket spread over her body, trying to doze while he waited for Nadine to wake up. The doctors had been cautious to give him any optimism after her surgery, offering only that they would know more once she regained consciousness. They had tried to convince him to go home in the meantime, but he refused to leave her side. Until he knew for certain that she was going to be fine, he wasn't going to leave General Hospital.

Now, as he readjusted his long legs against the railing of her bed, his eyes widened with pleasure as her eyes met his. "Hey," she whispered softly, a genuinely happy smile illuminating her face. Nikolas reached for her hand immediately as he stood up, reaching down to tuck her hair from her face. Leaning down, he framed her cheeks in his hand and covered her mouth was his. "You waited for me."

"I told you that I would," he murmured in response as he pulled away from her slightly, wanting into her cornflower orbs again just to prove to himself that this moment was real and that she was really awake. "You really had me scared there for awhile. What do you say that we don't do that again? You mean so much to me. I don't think I could handle having to relive the past week."

Her fingers slowly sought out his on top of the blue wool blanket. She clasped his hand as tightly as she could manage in her weakened state, just wanting to have some kind of definitive connection to him after being away for so long. Nadine still couldn't believe that she was with Nikolas sometimes, but if there had been any doubt about how he felt for, his constant care while she was in a coma more than proved it. Even if he hadn't said those words to her, she knew that he loved her just as much as she knew that she loved him. She wanted to tell him in that moment but wanted to wait until she was released from the hospital. The first time she fully confessed her love for him would not be in this drab room, no matter what he had tried to do to brighten it up. She wanted it to be somewhere special, a place that meant something to them.

"I don't want to miss another week with you either," she responded as she moved over slightly on the bed to make room for him. She knew that any minute he would come to his senses and page the doctors, stealing away the intimacy of being alone with him. In the mean time, she just wanted to be near him. Nikolas leaned back against the mattress and carefully maneuvered his arm behind her. The nurse in her knew that this was a bad idea, but the woman in her needed this. "I can't wait to go home."

"Well, about that, I was hoping that you wouldn't go home. You're not going to be able to stay alone for quite some time. I'd like for you to come out to Wyndamere and stay with me. I can hire a nurse to take care of everything that you need," he suggested. "It'll save me trips into town to see you constantly, and it will be nice for Spencer to have you around. He misses you."

Nadine smiled at the thought of his little boy. "If I had been awake for the past few days, I'm pretty sure that I would miss him too. I know that I missed you," she confessed as he gently pulled her against him. "Nikolas, in all seriousness, we can't live together. It's too fast. I can stay with Leyla or Lainey or another one of the girls. You don't need to have to worry about me all the time. It would completely disrupt your life."

He looked down at her incredulously, clearly surprised about what he was hearing. No one refused Nikolas Cassadine if he had anything to say about it. "First of all, I am going to worry about you whether you are with me or not. I would just rather have you with me," he argued. "Now then, you are not disrupting my life by staying at Wyndamere. You're letting me help you. I feel like there isn't anything I can do. It took us going through this for me to realize what you mean to me – _really_ mean to me. Just let me take care of you."

A soft sigh rushed past Nadine's lips as she considered his words. "No one has ever made me feel as important as you have," she confided as she curled into his side. It seemed so strange to be like this with him here. It was really the first time they had held each other since spending the night with Spencer in his bed. "If you want me there, I would love to stay with you until I am feeling better. I can't wait to see Spencer. Tell me something that I've missed."

Nikolas looked at her skeptically for a moment. "Maybe I should go get the doctors first," he proposed as he glanced toward the door. "I'm pretty sure that they'll already be livid that I didn't come get one of them immediately, let alone the fact that I crawled into bed with you. There are probably tests they need to do or something. I don't want to risk anything with you just because I feel the selfish need to be near you right now."

"Please don't," she pleaded as she wrapped her arms around his torso in quiet defiance. "Not yet, at least. I promise that I won't argue if you wait just a few more minutes. I don't want to see anyone else yet. I just want to sit here with you like this for a little bit longer. I want to hear about the days I lost in your life and pretend that we are just two normal people hanging out."

"I'm not really sure that I do 'normal' or 'hanging out,' but I guess I could try for you," he obliged. Nikolas had meant what he said when he didn't want to risk her health by waiting to seek out a doctor but he was also glad for this time alone together. Once everyone else found out that she was awake, he was sure that her room would be flooded with visitors again. For now, he just wanted her to be all his. He would share her with the world later. "Well, Spencer spent a lot of time with Elizabeth and Bobbie this week while I stayed here with you. We went out riding one afternoon and had lunch at Kelly's another. I didn't want to bring him here and let him see you like this. I was afraid that it might scare him."

She smiled knowingly and rested her head against his sturdy shoulder. "And how is your sister? Tell me all about the rest of the trial and Lulu's progress. I'm sure that they reached a verdict by now."

"Something has changed in Lulu. She is doing so much better. I'm not sure if it's because Johnny was found not guilty or what, but things seem to be improving. Finding out that she was the one that actually killed Logan made all of this make sense to me. The only thing I don't really get is the quick turnaround. I want to believe that it was just Johnny's love being strong enough to save her, but I feel like it's something more. There's something else here that she isn't telling Lucky or me."

"Maybe she just doesn't want the two of you to fight anymore over her," Nadine ventured. "You know how hard it is for her to be stuck in the middle when it comes to her brothers. It might be easier for her to just kind of play it safe and keep things private if you and Lucky are on opposite sides when it comes to her relationship with him. It's also possible that she feels like keeping a few things secret. Going through something like this, it must feel like your entire life is on display. Why not let her keep her secrets as long as she seems better? She'll share them when she is ready. Trust your sister to know what is best for her. She trusted you when you were dealing with your illness."

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes until Nadine finally reached across Nikolas and pushed the call button on the console next to her bed. "You might want to get out of this bed in case Epiphany is the attending nurse," she suggested. "It won't matter to her how much money you give this place or my place on the staff. If you're breaking the rules, she is going to go after you."

"Well, thankfully for you, I am on duty this afternoon," Elizabeth announced as she appeared in the doorway, a clipboard on her hip. Nadine smiled past a slightly disheveled Nikolas at her fellow nurse and friend. "It's good to finally see you awake. I'd ask if you just regained consciousness, but something tells me it has been at least a few minutes. How are you feeling?"

"Stir crazy and tired of being in this bed already," she admitted with a bright smile. "Other than that, I guess I feel pretty good all things considered. How did the surgery go?"

"It was a complete success. Patrick did an amazing job and you should heal perfectly. You'll have to stay in a few days for observation, but I think you'd be able to go home by the end of the week provided that you have someone to help take care of you," Elizabeth explained as she glanced at Nikolas in amusement. Lucky had told her that afternoon that his brother planned on asking Nadine to stay with him. "I am going to go down and get Patrick. He's asleep in the on-call room but wanted to do a few tests once you woke up. They'll probably take awhile."

Nadine grumbled good-naturedly while Elizabeth made notations on her chart. She told them that she would be gone five minutes before leaving the room to find Patrick. "I want you to go home and spend some time with Spencer once they take me down to do the tests," she told Nikolas. "I am going to be tired and will probably just go back to sleep. You go take advantage of this beautiful day and hang out with your son. Take the horses out for me and ride around the lake. Bring me back flowers from the garden when you both come here tomorrow."

"I don't want to leave you," he started to protest but quickly relented when he saw the mischievous glint in her blue eyes. He had come to know that look, the same one that had defied him when he had tried to shut her out of his life and when she had refused to back down to his orders to leave Matt Hunter alone. "Alright, but I will be here the first thing in the morning. Before the sun is even up, if they will let me in here."

"Fine," she agreed with a satisfied grin. Elizabeth returned to the room with Patrick in toe. Nikolas watched while they prepared to take her downstairs for the test. He wanted to stay and hold her hand or at least wait until she had her results. However, the only thing she had asked of him was to spend time with Spencer. She knew as well as he did that he was missing his son. This was the least amount of time he'd spent with him since he was sick last spring. Once you get used to spending time with someone like that, it's hard when it stops all of a sudden. It was like not being able to talk to Nadine these past few days. He'd missed it. "Alright, Cassadine, you go home and hug that son of yours for me."

"I will," he promised. "Elizabeth, you take care of her for me. If she needs anything or if there is something I should know, please call me. I will be by in the morning with Spencer. I'll call you later before I go to bed." Then, he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead before heading toward the door.

"Oh, hell no," Nadine muttered as she reached out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him back toward her. Mustering what little strength she had, she pulled his face down to hers and forcefully captured his lips with hers. It was unlike her to take charge like that, but it wasn't the first time she had been in control with Nikolas. There was no way she was going to let him walk out the door with a pathetic kiss like that, one worthy only for a grandmother. Licking her lips proudly when he pulled away, she looked up at him and winked. "That's more like it."

Patrick cleared his throat and Elizabeth stifled an embarrassed giggle over his shoulder to remind them that they weren't alone. "Yes, well, goodbye then," Nikolas announced formally before leaning down to kiss her once again. This kiss was brief and less passionate but sweet and soulful all the same.

Over the next several hours, Nadine was subjected to test after a test, each providing results that she had already known. She was a nurse and knew her own body well enough to know that she was getting better. Maybe it was a miracle, maybe it was the excellent care, maybe it was the love of a good man – it didn't really matter. She knew that she had healed exceptionally quickly and was glad for that blessing. After she had been returned to her room, she had been excited to find the girls waiting for her. Elizabeth, Lainey, Kelly, Robin and Leyla had all managed to negotiate breaks at the same time so that they could throw her an impromptu surprise party in her room. They all told her stories of Nikolas' time in her room between eating various flavors of gelatin and sipping sparkling water. When they finally had to return to work or leave for home, Leyla stayed behind to catch her up on the latest gossip. The two girlfriends sat side by side in her big bed and talked about Nikolas and how Leyla was now being pursued by Jasper Jacks. It felt nice to be so normal again.

Somewhere after dark, Nadine had fallen asleep listening to Leyla talk in her soothing English accent despite her best efforts to stay awake. Her best friend had pulled the blanket up around her, turned off the light and left her to get some much-needed rest. Nadine enjoyed the fitful sleep, dreaming about the perfect waltz she had imagined with Nikolas the first night they had danced together on the terrace at Wyndamere.

In the mean time at Wyndamere, Nikolas had fulfilled his promise to Nadine. He and Spencer had ridden for hours all over the property, racing at reasonable speeds through the woods and practicing jumping in the ring near the barn. They ate junk food, a special treat for the little boy, in his new tree house and even played a few video games in his playroom. Lucky and Elizabeth had brought the boys by for dinner and afterward, they had all gone over to Shadybrook together to visit Lulu. It was the first time she'd seen any of her nephews since being admitted, and Nikolas knew how much it meant to her to be with her family again.

When they had gotten home, it was already dark, and Nikolas had brought Spencer upstairs for a bath and bedtime story. Long after he had fallen asleep, Nikolas had sat in a rocking chair in the corner of his room, just watching him breathe in and out. It was these quiet moments that Nikolas cherished most as a father. Finally, he had crept down the hallway to his own bedroom and tried to fall asleep beneath his thousand-thread sheets. At midnight, when he still wasn't asleep, he crawled from his bed and went downstairs to leave a note for Alfred. He would return before dawn to get Spencer up. The nanny was next door if he needed anything in the mean time and what Nikolas needed was across town.

Nadine tossed in her sleep, a soft noise stirring her slightly. She blinked her eyes open a few times, trying to make out the faint outline approaching her in the dark room. Even before she could see his face, she knew it was him by his scent. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted as he threw his coat absently over his customary chair and shoving his hands in his pockets. He could just see her face in the soft moonlight shining through her partially drawn shades. He scuffled his feet as he stood by her bedside, feeling much like a sheepish adolescent about to confess his feelings to a girl.

However, before Nikolas could say anything else, Nadine yawned loudly. Reaching over, she peeled back the covers and moved over in the bed. "Get in," she ordered. Hospital rules be damned, she wanted him in her bed. Actually, on second thought… "You have to be out of here before morning rounds."

"Okay," he agreed with a chuckle. He kissed the top of her head she turned on her side and pulled his arms around her midsection. His breath tickled as they lay pressed together. Her feet found his beneath the sheets and entwined their legs together. His fingers sought hers on her abdomen. Nikolas brushed another kiss to the back of her neck before moving his chin to rest on her shoulder. They were completely tangled in each other, and he finally felt at peace again. All the restlessness was gone that he had felt at Wyndamere without her there. It was like coming home.

"Good night, Cassadine."

"Good night, Nadine."


	18. Chapter 18

"I can't believe this day is finally here," Nadine declared happily as she watched Nikolas finish carefully packing the photographs and artwork that had come to fill her room over the past two weeks. She had tried to get up to help him, but he had insisted that she reserve her strength for the car ride home. Today was a big day for both of them. It marked the first time someone would officially live with him other than Spencer since Emily had died and the first time Nadine had stayed with anyone other than her family for more than a few days. Thought neither of them had confessed it aloud to the other, they were both mixed with anxiety and excitement over the next phase of their relationship. Both understood that it wasn't a permanent situation, but Nadine couldn't help but feel like it could be if they wanted it to be.

Nikolas smiled up at her as he secured the latches on her suitcase and propped it up against the window sill. He had sent for the town car earlier when the doctors had come to complete her final exam, meaning that it would be there any minute. He was excited about finally bringing her home. His days had been spent with Spencer in the mornings and at the hospital with Nadine in the afternoon. Some nights he would sit by her bed for hours, others she would force him to go home and get some real sleep in his own bed. "I know, it'll be nice for both of us to get back to normal, whatever that is at this point," he teased. "Honestly, I'm just happy that you are finally and truly okay. I know that you still have a lot of recovering to do, but it's nice not to break out into a sweat every time my phone rings, worried that something else happened to you."

"Aw, you worry about me?" she teased as he propped himself up on the mattress near her waist. A slight blush worked its way up his neck as he reached across for her hand. Since he had been spending all this time with her at General Hospital, he felt the need to do that all the time. He was always holding her hand, brushing his thumb inconspicuously over her wrist, if only just to feel her pulse to remind him that she was still alive. Nadine had survived nearly dying, and she was still here with him. "Seriously, Nikolas, thank you for everything you've done over the past two weeks. I know that I could have made it through this without you, but I wouldn't have wanted to."

"Nikolas, the car is waiting downstairs for you," Leyla announced from the doorway. The beautiful Persian nurse was dressed in dark purple scrubs, indicating that she was still on duty. Nadine was thankful for that relationship as well during her time in the hospital. Leyla had been a faithful visitor, her time spent at Nadine's bedside only surpassed by the Cassadine prince. She would come in each day to make sure that her best friend got little girl time, giving them both the opportunity to gossip about the men in their lives. Leyla had begun to admit that she was secretly a little more than enchanted with Jax's constant pursuing. Nadine relished the chance to dissect the details of Nikolas' latest declaration. "Looks like you're finally getting out of here, eh? I guess I'm just going to have to trudge out to Wyndamere now to see my best friend."

"You are always welcome, Leyla," Nikolas responded with a polite smile. He called down to the driver to assure him that they would be down in a few minutes. "I'm not sure what hospital protocol is here. Does she need a wheelchair or can she just walk out?"

"A wheelchair," Nadine answered for him. A defiant grimace had appeared on her usually sunny features as she thought about having to be rolled out of this room. She had been working so hard at physical therapy the last week so that she would be strong enough to go home. The last thing she wanted to do was get in that chair and admit that she wasn't as progressed as she would have liked. Now, she watched as Nikolas picked up her pair of suitcases and waited patiently for one of the orderlies to come in with that wheelchair. "Wait, is Prince Nikolas Cassadine actually going to carry his own luggage?"

"No, I am not," he retorted pointedly. "I am going to carry _your_ luggage downstairs, Princess Nadine Crowell. I know that I may not know normal things like where my staff keeps the vacuum, but I am perfectly capable of taking your bags down to the car." The two of them exchanged an amused look, completely forgetting that Leyla was even in the room with them. That actually happened a lot. They spoke their own language in a way, something that usually happened only after years of being together. Nikolas sat the baggage back in an armchair next to the door when a man appeared with her wheelchair. Nadine smiled excitedly as she swung her toned legs over the edge of the bed. The orderly started to reach for her hand to help her into the chair when Nikolas called out to stop him. "Actually, if you don't mind, I would like to help her. I figure I should get used to it since I am going to be taking care of her."

"You are not going to take care of me, and I am not going to be using this wheelchair at Wyndamere," Nadine argued as she slipped her small hand into his. Nikolas chuckled at her jutted chin and simply shook his head. She was one of the most stubborn people he had ever known. With his other hand guiding her back, they managed to make a smooth transition from the hospital bed to the chair. Nadine squirmed in the seat for a minute, trying to make herself comfortable. When she was finally satisfied, she nodded happily. Just as she was about to ask Leyla to take her downstairs, there was a knock at the door. "Lucky, Elizabeth! What are you guys doing here?"

"They're here to help me get you home," Nikolas answered for them before resting his hands on the handles of her chair. She looked up at him confusedly over her shoulder. "Lucky, if you could get her bags in that chair, I'd like to push her downstairs."

It was Nadine's turn to giggle as she pressed her foot down firmly on the ground so that he couldn't push her forward. Lucky and Elizabeth laughed in unison at her rebellious gesture. "Wait, so you never had any plans of actually carrying my suitcases downstairs, did you? I should have known that the Prince was never going to do a task that is so obviously beneath him. Why did you even have them come here? Your driver just could have done all this. That is what you pay them for, which you are always reminding me when I try to do anything for myself."

Elizabeth and Lucky looked from the blonde to the brunette in their little game of bantering tennis. "Yeah, Lucky would be the driver, too," Nikolas confessed. "That call downstairs was to him. We talked in code because I knew you would refuse to let anyone help you. It's hard enough for you to accept it from me. Anyhow, I asked Lucky and Liz to come help me get you home. I thought that we could celebrate your release with a dinner at Wyndamere with them. However, since you had to argue with me, that is no longer a surprise. Are you satisfied now?"

Nadine bit her bottom lip as she looked up at him sheepishly. He had just wanted to do something nice for her, and she had almost been a little mad at him for inconveniencing their friends. "I'm sorry," she apologized in a small voice. Nikolas shook his head with a reassuring smile before leaning down to kiss her cheek. He whispered his forgiveness into her ear in a low and suggestive tone, indicating that he just wanted to take her home. "Alright, if all my entourage is here, let's get out of here."

"Wait just a minute," Patrick announced from the doorway. He held a few sheets of paper in his hand, which he promptly handed over to Nikolas. "That is everything you need to know to take care of Nadine. Leyla told me that you had hired a nurse to come in twice a day to change out her bandages. The nurse will show you how to do it when she is in tomorrow just in case you should have to do it yourself. There are a few prescriptions for pain medication should she need it. There are also a few exercises she can work on between physical therapy appointments and a list of forbidden activities. Nadine, you really need to avoid as much physical activity as you can. It won't take much to tire you out, especially over the next few days. No walking up and down the stairs without help, no standing on your feet for long periods and no sex. Got it?"

Lucky stifled a laugh as he looked at Nadine's wide eyes and Nikolas' surprised demeanor. "Uh, yeah, we understand," Nikolas retorted as Nadine replied, "You don't have to worry about that." Nikolas looked down at the blonde with a slightly confused look. He didn't exactly like how adamant her last comment had been. She could at least pretend to be a little put off about not being able to be intimate with him. It wasn't like he was planning on bedding her the minute they got to Wyndamere, not that the thought hadn't crossed his mind a million times since she had been in GH. As if she could read his mind, she ran her hand up his arm and squeezed his wrist. "Yeah, so that kind of sucks, but you're just going to have to find a way to resist my charms."

Nikolas laughed appreciatively at her candor before dropping a quick kiss on the crown of her freshly washed hair. "If there isn't anything else, I think we are going to be on our way," Nikolas told Patrick. The doctor nodded his permission as Leyla leaned down to embrace her friend. She promised a visit soon and followed behind the foursome as they headed for the elevator. When the lift arrived, it was already packed with people. "Why don't you two go on down so that Lucky can bring the car around? We'll take the next one and meet you out front."

"Sounds good," Elizabeth agreed as she grabbed Lucky's hand and pulled him into the elevator. He was trying to protest, saying that it would be easier if they all just waited, when Elizabeth jabbed him sharply in the ribs. Nadine could hear her telling Lucky that Nikolas wanted some time alone with her just as the doors shut.

"Alone at last," Nikolas announced as he dropped to his knee in front of her chair. Even in the midst of the busy lounge, he managed to make her forget all of her surroundings and see only him. She threaded her arms around his neck and looked intently into his dark eyes. It was going to be pure hell spending all that time in Wyndamere and not being able to be with him – _really_ be with him. She had hoped that they would finally take the next step when she went home with him. It was all she had dreamt about these past two weeks in the hospital. All of her reasons for waiting had seemed good at the time, but they no longer seemed to matter.

From the moment she had met him, Nadine had wanted Nikolas Cassadine. Now that she finally had his heart, she wanted to have all of him. One glance down at the faint outline of his rippled abs in that navy v-neck sweater reminded him just how much that was true. Shaking her head, she forced those naughty thoughts out of her mind and tried to think about anything else. "So, what's for dinner? You have no idea how much I am looking forward to eating real food. I've appreciated the contraband you've managed to sneak in here from Alfred, but I can't wait to sit at a table and eat an actual meal."

"Well, I thought that I would go a little crazy and order your favorite," he grinned. The snob in him would forever be perplexed by people's insane devotion to the obviously unhealthy food, but he would indulge Nadine's every whim and craving if it meant she would look at him the way she was looking at him now. "You know how hard this is for me, so you better appreciate it. There should be an extra cheese and mushroom pizza waiting for you when we get home."

Nadine clapped happily before throwing her arms back around him. "I am very appreciative, Mr. Cassadine," she promised in a sultry tone as she leaned forward in her chair. His hands slipped around her slim waist and pulled her slightly further toward him. "In fact, if we hadn't just received strict orders, I would show you just how appreciative I am."

Nikolas sputtered at her uncharacteristic declaration and leaned back to look at her. Desire danced in her eyes as she ran her tongue across her bottom lip, dragging his gaze downward to land on her pert mouth. "I guess we'll just have to settle for this then," he murmured just before pressing his mouth to hers. The two of them became lost in the kiss until the elevator dinged.

"Oh, excuse me!" Monica Quartermaine exclaimed as she walked off the elevator and stepped around the couple to dodge Nadine's wheelchair. Her tone was surprised, not at all condescending.

"Monica, I'm sorry," Nikolas replied immediately, standing up to look at his former mother-in-law. It was the first time the cardiologist had seen them together, and he knew that it couldn't be easy to see him with someone that wasn't Emily. "I'm taking Nadine home today."

"We shouldn't have been blocking the elevator like that, Dr. Quartermaine, I apologize," Nadine reiterated. She was clearly embarrassed that they had been caught in a situation like that. She knew that it couldn't easy for either one of them given the nature of their relationship. Monica and Nikolas had been the two closest people to Emily, and they had shared in her loss. "We were just waiting for another one to come."

Monica smiled genuinely down at the blonde nurse and then up at the dark prince. "It's quite alright," she assured them both. "Nadine, I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. I know what a relief it must be to get out of here. It's nice to see the two of you together looking so happy. Life doesn't always give us enough reasons to smile."

All three of them were quiet for a moment, each contemplating where the others fit into all of this. "Well, it's nice to see you back here doing what you do best," Nikolas praised her, reaching out to hug her awkwardly. Thankfully, their elevator arrived, and they were all let out of what was turning out to be an even more uncomfortable situation. "I guess that's us."

The doctor waved dismissively as Nikolas rolled Nadine onto the chair. Nadine only stared at her shoes as the doors slid shut, not wanting to be the first one to say something. Nikolas was silent too, his eyes fixed straight ahead on the panel of buttons. When the lift reached the bottom floor, Elizabeth was waiting at back door of the car idling at the curb. She could read a disconnect between the two of them immediately, wondering what had changed in the few minutes since she had left them. Lucky jumped out of the car and started to lift the bags into the trunk when Nikolas lunged forward. "Why don't you let me get those and help Elizabeth with the wheelchair?"

Lucky wrinkled his brow in confusion but shrugged as he went around to help Elizabeth. The nurse had already managed to get a clearly shaken Nadine into the backseat of the car when he took the wheelchair. Nikolas shut the trunk with a heavy thud and slid into the passenger seat. Liz looked at Lucky over the roof of the car, both of them trying to figure out what was going on. Finally, Lucky moved the engine out of park and pulled the car onto the busy street while Elizabeth tried to engage Nadine in light conversation in the backseat.

"What was that all about?" Nadine said loudly out of nowhere, earning an uncomfortable look from Lucky and a concerned sideward glance from Elizabeth. Nikolas frowned at her almost angrily in the visor mirror. She knew that he wouldn't appreciate her saying that, but she was so confused. He had pulled away completely. She could accept him being a little embarrassed or unnerved in front of Monica given the nature of their connection. However, she wouldn't let him make her feel like they were doing something wrong.

Nikolas raked his fingers through his hair as he tried to suppress his anger. He had always hated being called out in front of others. "Not now," he replied strongly. His tone was even but strained, indicating that she needed to drop it. However, he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't. She wanted an answer to something that he couldn't explain.

To his utter amazement, Nadine didn't press him. "Fine," she relented, crossing her arms protectively on her chest as she turned to look out the window. He hated that she was mad, but he refused to discuss this in front of his friends. "Lucky, you can just take me home to my apartment. I will not be staying at Wyndamere."

"Nadine, please," Nikolas pleaded frustrated, turning around in his seat to look at her. "Stop being so stubborn and just come with me. We'll talk about all of this later. You can't be home by yourself."

"I won't be," she countered haughtily, refusing to back down to him. "Leyla said that she could come stay with me if something came up, and I can have another nurse stop by if I need something when she is at work. I was taking care of myself a long time before I met you, Nikolas. I don't need you to do everything for me if I am going to be subjected to little episodes like that one back there."

He knew that she wanted him to argue with her, to try to convince her to come home with him. However, if she was going to play a game, he wasn't going to play with her. What had happened back there had been his fault, but she wasn't even giving him the chance to explain. "Fine, Lucky, you heard her," he shrugged. "Take her home."

The car stopped abruptly, sending them all forward with a slight jolt. Lucky threw the car into park, pulled his door open and got out before slamming it shut again. He then opened Elizabeth's door and helped her out. "No, I am not going to take her home," he told them both. "This is ridiculous. I have no clue what is going on between the two of you but you need to figure it out. If you're set on destroying this before it even really begins, you can just do it alone. We're not going to be apart of it. Come on, Elizabeth."

The brunette reached down and grabbed her purse before Lucky pulled her by the hand behind her. The two of them headed across the street and hailed a taxi before leaving Nikolas and Nadine alone again. Unlike earlier at the hospital, neither of them wanted to be around each other. They just wanted distance. Finally, Nadine's small voice filled the car. "Is that really what you want?"


	19. Chapter 19

"Is that really what you want?"

Nikolas turned back around and looked at Nadine. Tears were welling in her eyes as she clutched her hands tightly in her lap. "No, of course not," he answered before opening his own door. He didn't even bother to shut it as he pulled her door open and reached out to envelope her in his arms. They were both crying, neither exactly sure of why, as they clung to one another. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened back there. I didn't mean anything that I said."

She wanted to believe what he said, but history had taught Nadine to tread lightly when she was feeling emotionally vulnerable to anyone. "I don't want to fight with you, Nikolas, but you can't cage me in," she explained to him through the tears. "I've been on my own for a very long time. I don't respond well to having to answer to someone. I know that I shouldn't have reacted like that, but a part of me thought that was the only way I was going to get through to you. It's like we've said before – I don't need you in my life but I want you there."

Running his hands over her back, Nikolas nodded slowly as he looked into her eyes. He wasn't used to having to change for someone else, but she was worth changing for. "If I agree to give you some space and respect your freedom, can you do me a favor?" he asked. Nadine told him that she would at least try. "Please don't threaten to leave me like that if I am doing something you don't like. Yell at me, fight with me, do whatever you want. Just don't say that you won't be with me. I know that's not what you were saying exactly, but I could see a glimmer of that threat there. I can handle anything you throw my way, but I won't go through that. I've seen the slow destruction of many relationships. It's not something I care to live through again."

"I can do that," she vowed confidently before arching her back in a deep yawn. Arguing with Nikolas had taken a lot out of her physically and emotionally. "Hey, that was our first fight."

"Yes, it was," Nikolas whispered into her ear. Trailing his fingers through her blonde hair, he leaned forward and planted a long, lazy kiss on her lips. Nadine moaned happily against his mouth as he deepened the kiss. Her hands roamed over his sculpted back before coming to a rest in his belt loops. "That was our first makeup."

Smiling against his mouth, she pulled back and searched his dark eyes. "I am pretty sure that Dr. Drake told us to abstain from physical activity," she told him pointedly, her hands on her hips. "For someone who is supposed to be taking care of me, you're not doing a very good job at following the rules."

"And to think, I am known for my obedience and respect for authority," he mocked. Nadine punched his shoulder playfully as he stood up. He reached down and brushed the dust off his designer trousers. "Just so you know, I wouldn't get down on my knees on a dirty road for just any girl. You must be special."

"Most be," she murmured to herself as he jogged around to the driver's side of the car. Nadine felt like a passenger in a chauffeured car from the backseat. However, it would be too difficult to move her just so that she could feel just a little less awkward about her new position in life. "Do you think Elizabeth and Lucky will forgive us and still come to dinner if I call and ask nicely?"

"They've forgiven me for a lot more," Nikolas assured her as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. It only took two minutes of conversation to convince his brother to bring Liz and the boys to Spoon Island. After he'd hung up, Nikolas turned around in his seat and looked at Nadine. "Now that's taken care of, why don't we get you home?"

On the drive over to Wyndamere, Nadine thought a lot about that word, "home." As long as she lived, she wasn't sure that she could ever refer to that mausoleum as a home. She loved the sprawling estate on Spoon Island, so full of light and greenery. However, she had a hard time getting used to the gothic carvings, secret corridors and dark tapestries that dominated Wyndamere. There were parts of it that were brighter, like Spencer's bedroom and the playroom. However, the rest of it felt so oppressing, filled with doom and gloom.

When Nikolas finally reached the long and winding driveway that led to his house, Nadine had her face pressed to the window. There were bright red and purple ribbons tied to every tree and matching balloons on every fence post. When he pulled up to the garage, the entire house staff was standing outside holding a large canvas banner proclaiming, "Welcome, Nadine!" Maybe she had discounted Wyndamere too early. She had forgotten that it was the people that made a house a home.

She giggled like a little girl on her birthday as she watched Spencer run up to her door. "Oh, Spencer," she gushed as she opened the door and the little boy crawled into her lap. Nikolas was right behind him, trying to convince him to wait and reminding him that Nadine was still hurt. Both of them ignored Nikolas as Spencer buried his face in Nadine's shoulder. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too!" Spencer exclaimed as he hugged Nadine tightly. She smiled up at Nikolas over his son's shoulder. His eyes were shining with pride and something else. She wasn't sure exactly what it was. "Daddy, look, Nadine is home!"

"I know, buddy, I picked her up," Nikolas reminded him patiently as he pried the little boy from her lap. Spencer hugged his father briefly before squirming from his arms to go into the house. "There is cake waiting in there, to be fair. You held his attention a lot longer than most people would have."

Reaching her hand out, she allowed Nikolas to lift her from the car. Clinging tightly to his arm, she was determined to make it inside on her own. Their steps were slow and sporadic, and she had to stop more than once to rest. However, after a few minutes, they managed to come into the sitting room so that she could collapse on the couch. Alfred appeared to ask if she needed anything, but Nikolas quickly brushed him off. Shutting the double doors to the sitting room, he shut away the rest of the world so that there was only him. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear Spencer's nanny taking him upstairs for his afternoon nap. He seemed to go begrudgingly once the kind woman promised that he would get to have dinner with Nadine and his father when he woke up again.

Nikolas listened to his messages while he watched Nadine try to get comfortable on the couch. Once he had jotted a few reminders on his notepad, he replaced the receiver and went over to join her on the sofa. "Are you tired? I could take you upstairs to your room if you wanted to get some rest," he offered. She shook her head no. "Well, if you change your mind, let me know."

"Actually, I just want to sit with you here for a little bit," she decided as she looped her arm through his. Nikolas leaned his head against hers as she yawned. Nikolas soon followed with a deep yawn of his own. "Sounds like I'm not the only one who's tired."

"I really haven't been sleeping well given our schedule," he admitted as he brushed his hand wearily over his face. "I know that you won't go upstairs and sleep, but could I talk you into taking a nap with me down here? I kind of got used to sleeping with you when I'd sneak out to the hospital. This couch is about as big as your bed was."

Nadine tried to hide her smile at his adorable request. "I don't know, Nikolas," she hesitated. "I mean, Spencer could walk in and find us. How would you explain that to him?"

"We're going to have to have that talk eventually. He knows that you mean something to me, Nadine. I don't think that is exactly a secret anymore," he acknowledged. "I've had some time to think about it and he should know."

"I agree," she concurred, "but I'm not sure that he needs to find out this way. This has been a confusing few months for him, between losing Emily and your illness and everything with Lulu. I don't want our relationship to be just one more thing that he doesn't get. I want us to do it the right way."

He reached over suddenly and cupped her face to bring her to him for a long kiss. After he had lost Emily, Nikolas had resigned himself to raising Spencer alone. He never imagined that he could find anyone worthy of being a mother to his son once they'd already had to say goodbye to Courtney and Emily. Now, with Nadine, he got little flashes of the future and he could imagine the three of them together. He could see them as a family. The thought both scared and exhilarated him. It was moving too fast to even go there, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that was part of what he was looking for. He and Spencer were a package deal, and whoever loved him had to love his son. Nikolas knew that Nadine loved Spencer. In fact, he'd almost wager that she had fallen in love with his little boy before she had fallen in love with him.

"Thank you for caring about Spencer enough to want that. You're right. I should have thought this through some more," he decided. "I just wanted to make earlier up to you. I was an ass."

Nadine shrugged coyly and smiled at him over your shoulder. "Thankfully for you, I happen to like your ass," she teased. "Anyhow, I didn't say that I wouldn't take a nap with you. I just don't think that we should do it down here. If you want to take me upstairs to my room, I think I could be persuaded to let you join me."

"We could go to my room," he offered. "I have the biggest bed in the house. There would be plenty of room for you to sprawl out."

Looking down at her hands, she shook her head no silently. "We're not ready for that."

"It's just a nap. We're going to sleep."

"I know, but that's where you slept. With her. I just think that we need to slow it down a little bit. I appreciate that you want to hold me in your bed, but we're not there yet," she told him. "Can you honestly tell me you are ready to have me in the same room you shared with Emily? To hold me in the same bed where you slept with her? I already feel her everywhere I go in this house. I need to get used to feeling like that before I'm ready for that."

Honestly, Emily hadn't even popped into his mind when he had asked her to come upstairs to his room. He actually just wanted them to both have enough space to be comfortable. It was the first time he had made a choice this big without thinking about Emily first. That spoke to him. "We have all the time that you need. There is no rush," he promised as he stood up. He offered his hand to Nadine, who used it as leverage to lift herself from the couch. Leaning against him support, she allowed him to bring her to the back staircase so that she could make her way to the second floor. It was a long and slow process, but they eventually managed to make it to the top step. "I thought that you would be most comfortable in the rooms right at the top of the landing. I'm just down the hall across from Spencer."

Opening the door to the expansive suite immediately across from the staircase, Nadine felt all breath rush out of her body. Unlike the dark rooms downstairs, her chosen trio of rooms were flooded with sunny light and radiant warmth. A large canopy bed covered in fine white gauze was situated in the middle of the room with two matching cherry nightstands on either side. Across the room, there was a lit vanity with a big mirror and a small writing desk. One side of the room opened up to a bathroom with a claw foot bath tub while the other led to a sitting room with overstuffed chairs. "This is beautiful," Nadine mused as she looked around. She spotted the framed photographs from her apartment on the mantle of the fireplace. "It's absolutely perfect."

"This was my mother's quarters," he told her. Since Laura had gone inside herself, he hadn't allowed anyone to stay here. However, he knew that he wanted Nadine to spend her days in these rooms as soon as he had thought about asking her to stay with him. "She designed the entire thing herself when we redid Wyndamere after I took over the estate. I had her, Lulu and Lucky each do a suite. I wanted to make sure that they always have somewhere to come home to if they ever need it. Elizabeth also has one in the other wing with adjacent quarters for the boys and a playroom."

She understood immediately the significance of being in these rooms. This had been Laura's home away from home – a place that he clearly valued. "Nikolas, I love…" her voice trailed off. She was just about to say that she loved him when the words got caught in her throat. "I love it. The light in here is amazing."

He would have sworn that she was about to say something else before she stopped. For a minute, he had found himself hoping that she would tell him that she loved him. When she didn't, he was left feeling disappointed. It was crazy to let so much hinge on three little words but it always did. "Yeah, my mom loves the sun," he explained. "She and Lulu both made sure that their rooms got a lot of light. Lucky's is simple and earthy, kind of like him. Elizabeth's is warm and inviting. I guess that the spaces reflect who they are. I like that. When I get a little lonely for one of them, I can just go sit in there and I feel like they're with me. Especially this room, you know? It's nice to have a part of my mom with me."

"All this talk of your mom makes me not want to go to bed with you," she taunted, her voice dropping to a sultry tone. "I mean, I had all these naughty intentions until we got up here."

"You know, I'd believe that if you hadn't reminded me about Patrick's orders like an hour ago. Keep teasing me like that and I'm just going to have to retaliate," he warned her. "Trust me; I can be quite relentless when it comes to getting what I want."

"Oh, so you want me?"

"Only as much as you want me."

"So not at all then? Quite disappointing really given all the chemistry we have."

He considered the thought for a moment as he slid his hands down her shoulders to rest on her hips. Pulling her slender body flush against his, his fingers spanned over her waist. "Chemistry, really?" he murmured into her ear. "I just don't feel it."

She nearly moaned as he subtly thrust his hips into hers. "I beg to differ," she countered as she felt him brush against hers. "Nikolas, we can't."

"I know, you already told me that," he agreed as he began to nibble on her ear lobe. His lips nipped lightly at her skin before moving to place a trail of kisses behind her ear and down her neck. Brushing feathery touches over her collarbone, he started up the other side of her neck before planting small kisses behind her other ear. "I feel nothing."

"Nope, no chemistry here," she moaned as she guided his face back up to hers. She leaned in hungrily, knotting her fingers in his dark locks, as she devoured his mouth with hers. Her kiss was almost like an attack, greedy and unrelenting. He probed his tongue between her lips and wrestled with her for control. Just when one would gain a slight advantage, the other would counter fiercely. Nikolas danced her backward until the back of her knees hit against the mattress. She fell back willingly, pulling him down on top of her. He pinned her hands over her head as she moved beneath him. Just as she was about to ask for more, he pulled away. Nadine rolled away from him after a minute. "Why did you stop?"

"We have to. You could get hurt. Trust me, I really don't want to," he groaned. He was breathing heavy and had to readjust his pants to hide the uncomfortable evidence. "I think you know that. But as much as I want you, and that is a lot…_a lot_, I care about you more. We can't take it there until Patrick gives you the all clear."

Reaching up, Nadine smoothed her hair back into a ponytail. "I wish you weren't so damn responsible," she grumbled mockingly before crawling up to slip beneath the covers. He laughed at her before leaning forward on his knees to kiss her forehead. She pulled the corner of the quilt back, much like she had that night at the hospital when she had invited him to sleep with her. "If you're not going to let me do that, you better come and hold me. I want to get something out of this."

"You got me," he whispered as he crawled in beside her, turning so that they were both lying on their side facing the mirror. His eyes met hers in the looking glass, both of their gazes full of desire. "What more is there?"

"Nothing," she answered. "There is nothing more than us."


	20. Chapter 20

A week cooped up in Wyndamere had left Nadine feeling stir-crazy. There was always something new to see. After seven days of wandering around the castle Nikolas called home as well as the grounds, there were still parts of the estate that she hadn't seen. Even so, she felt like there was always someone watching her. Whether it was a maid popping up to attend to her smallest needs or a gardener pruning branches on one of the paths or Alfred checking up on her, she didn't really have much time to herself. For someone that was used to living on her own, it was just a little overwhelming to always have someone there. She tried to be gracious about, knowing that Nikolas wanted to do this for her. Since their talk, he had been very good about giving her space, and in return, she was trying to let him be there for her as much as she could allow.

Letting Nikolas be the kind and gracious prince that he was actually a little easier than she had anticipated. It was nice to have someone that wanted to lavish her with attention. She liked being apart of his daily life. They would have breakfast together with Spencer. Afterward, he would go into his office to work for the morning while she would take a walk around the estate or maybe read in the sitting room. Nikolas made it a point to spend the afternoons with Spencer. She would join them sometimes or rest upstairs if she was feeling tired after physical therapy. After they had dinner and Spencer was in bed, they would sit together in front of the fireplace and talk. He would tell her stories about growing up around Europe while she recounted her tales of living in Texas. Every night, he would help her up the stairs and kiss her goodnight at her door. Sometimes he would sneak back and sleep beside her. She looked forward to those nights. Their relationship still wasn't exactly where she wanted it to be, but she just needed to be patient until they could finally take it there.

"Hey, good morning," Nikolas greeted her warmly as he came into the living room, two cups of coffee in his hand. He sat the mugs down on the table in front of her and leaned down to kiss her lightly. He tasted of coffee and mint. "I thought that we would have breakfast down here for a change. Alfred is setting a table up on the terrace."

"What about Spencer?" Nadine asked as she accepted one of the mugs. She loved the coffee at Wyndamere. Alfred had confided that Nikolas had the beans flown in every week from a private plantation in Brazil after she had fallen in love with it all those months ago when she was helping him deal with the tumor. Long before they had been together, he was finding ways to take care of her. "Actually, shouldn't he be up by now? I haven't seen him yet, and he usually comes to wake me up in the mornings."

Nikolas smiled briefly at her, his eyes glittering with delight. He liked having Nadine in his house, and he liked how quickly Spencer had taken to having her there. The two of them interacted so easily already, and the past week had only made their bond that much more comfortable. Spencer insisted on having them both present for his bedtime stories, and he always kissed Nadine goodnight last because she gave the best hugs, according to him. "My grandmother came to pick him up this morning. She is going to take Spencer and Cameron to the library for some puppet show. He'll be gone all day."

"That sounds like fun. I'm sure that he'll like spending time with Lesley and Cam," Nadine commented as she allowed Nikolas to help her to her feet. He took her hand and led her outside to the balcony. The small bistro table was set with whole wheat waffles and plenty of fresh fruit. "Although, I am not sure what I am going to do with myself all day. I get bored when he's not around to entertain me. What am I going to do with myself?"

"Actually, I have plans for us already," he commented as he poured her a glass of sparkling apple juice. Nadine cocked an eyebrow at him questioningly. "I was hoping that you would go over to Shadybrook with me. I wanted to take you before the fire happened, but obviously you needed some time to heal. I talked to Patrick yesterday and he thought a short trip to town would probably be fine as long as you rested afterward."

She tried not to roll her eyes at his concern for her health. In all honesty, Nadine felt fine. In fact, with the extended time off, she actually felt better than she had in months. Besides being away from the hospital and recuperating from what had happened the last few weeks, she was finally happily in love. If she could just tell him that, she would probably feel even better. However, that wasn't really the point of the conversation right now. "Sure, I'd love to go with you to visit Lulu. I know that you really haven't been by to see her too much since I've been out of the hospital. I'm sure that she would love to see you."

"Probably," Nikolas concurred, "but she's not actually the reason we are going over there. I mean, we'll stop by and visit her, but I was hoping that you would want to meet my mom while we were there. You've already heard so much about her, but I don't think you'll fully understand that part of my life until you see her there."

Setting down her fork on the white china plate, Nadine reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "I would be honored to go with you to meet your mother, Nik," she proclaimed softly. He offered her a small smile and closed his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, she could see the tiniest hint of a tear forming. She could tell immediately that he was embarrassed by his unexpected display of emotion. Pushing the chair back, she went around the table and knelt in front of him so that she was at eye level. "Hey, this means a lot to me. Thank you."

He nodded wordlessly as she reached up to cup his cheek. It had been a long time since he had taken anyone to meet his mother and the first time a woman would meet her like this. After all those years with Emily, he had never thought he would have to go through this. Now that he was, it was harder than he had thought it could be. Still, he wanted her to be there wit him. She had gone with him to see Emily. She needed to see Laura. "I just wish that she could really meet you," he confided. Nadine pressed her forehead against his as the lone tear fell freely from his eyes. He reached up and tangled his fingers in her hair, just wanting to be closer to her. "It's not fair that you two don't get to meet each other. You're so much alike."

"Oh, yeah?" Nadine asked as she rose to her feet. Nikolas hooked his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. She turned to look up into his eyes, wanting to know everything that he needed to tell her. After all the things he had done to care for her these past few weeks, she liked that he needed her now. "Tell me about her."

"You know, it took me a really long time to understand how my mom could ever love Luke Spencer after all the things he put her through. The thing I could never fully comprehend was how unconditionally much she cared about him," he explained. "It didn't matter how selfish he was or what he did to push her away. She saw right through the man he wanted to pretend to be. She saw the man that he was. You've done that with me, Nadine. I pushed you away so many times, but you could see through that. You didn't care what I said, you just cared about me. You wanted to be apart of my life at whatever cost. You wouldn't listen to my warnings or those from anyone else. My mom would have admired that."

Nikolas told her stories of his mother, about how she had come to be apart of the Cassadine web and all those years on the run with Luke. Nadine was mostly quiet as he talked about what those first few years had been like when he had found out that Laura was his mother. He talked about Lucky and Lulu and Luke, what it was like to be an outside. She listened to every word as they ate their breakfast and afterward when they took a short walk down to the stable to check on the horses. Finally, when he felt like he had said enough, he asked her an important question again. "So, are you sure that you still want to go with me?" She had only nodded and kissed him on the cheek before pulling him toward the limo that would take them into town.

And now, they were standing outside her door at Shadybrook, exactly halfway between where Nikolas' mother and sister now lived. Few people in the world could ever understand what a lonely life Nadine led without her parents alive and her sister in a coma, but in that moment, she knew that Nikolas understood. She was probably the only person besides Lucky who could get how it felt to be him. It was both sad and comforting to know that it was something they had in common. It wasn't the first time she had realized this, but it was the first time that it felt real.

"Hi, Mom," Nikolas announced as they went into the room hand-in-hand. Nadine followed him around the white wooden rocking chair where Laura sat, her blonde hair pulled loosely back of her shoulders. He knelt down to kiss his mother on the cheek and reached for her hand. "You look as beautiful as always. Sorry that I haven't come by this week before now. I've been kind of busy actually living my life for once." He glanced back over his shoulder at Nadine and smiled. "Mom, there is someone that I want you to meet." Reaching behind him, Nikolas pulled Nadine to his side. "I am just going to go across the hall and check on Lu. I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes."

Nadine sat down on the ground beside him and looked up at the woman in front of her. Her pale blue eyes were vacant and lifeless. She was completely unresponsive and unaware that there was anyone in the room with her. Nadine was filled with the same sadness every time she went to visit her own blue-eyed blonde patient. Sitting at Jolene's bedside for her weekly visit was always one of the hardest parts of her weeks. "It's very nice to meet you, Laura. Nikolas has told me all about you," she revealed softly. As she spoke, Nadine never let her eyes falter from Laura's. She wanted to speak directly to this woman and have her hear the way she felt about her son. It was the only way she would ever possibly know these things. Even if she couldn't acknowledge it, Nadine had to pray that Laura would understand what she was saying. "You know, you have an amazing son here. I know that I don't have to tell you that, but I want to. He has meant so much to me."

Nadine leaned back on her heels and looked back up at the woman. "I know it was important for him that I come here and meet you. It was important to me, too," she confessed. "I know a lot about him. I've met his siblings and his friends. I know about his history with Emily and enough about the Cassadine family to understand that they're crazy. I've spent time at Wyndamere. I'm still not used to the staff. I adore his son and love every minute that I get to spend with both of them. This was a big step for both of us, me coming here. I feel like meeting you was the final piece to getting to know Nikolas. Maybe now I finally have all of him."

"She's had me all along." Nadine tore her eyes from Laura to find Nikolas leaning casually in the doorway. "Well, maybe not all along," he conceded as he came into the room. "She has had all of me for awhile now, though. Since that night that I held her and Spencer through the night, she's held my heart in the palm of her hand. Maybe I didn't let her see that before now, but it doesn't make it any less true."

Ten minutes later, Nikolas came out of his mother's room to find Nadine waiting for him on a bench outside her room. Lulu had gone downstairs to a group meeting, so they planned to come back later to spend time with her. "Thank you for bringing me here," Nadine murmured as she tucked her arm in Nikolas'. He was quiet as they waited for the elevator. He was so aware of everything around him – her head on his shoulder, her fingers tapping against his forearm, her scent surrounding him.

"Thank you for coming," he retorted finally as they stepped into the lift. The elevator went down two floors when Nikolas lunged forward impulsively and pressed the stop button. Nadine looked at him incredulously and demanded to know what he was doing. However, before she could get any more out her mouth, his lips had taken hers prisoner as he pressed her back against the elevator wall. Nadine hesitated for a moment, completely thrown at his behavior. She had nearly pounced on him like this once in elevator but this was not at all like Nikolas. It was far from his usual polite protocol. However, any thought of manners soon flew out of her head as he pressed the straps of her dress down her bare shoulder.

"Nikolas," she groaned from low in her throat as he rained tiny kisses down on her dewy skin. He traced a path from the curve of her neck to the swell of her collarbone, relenting only when she dragged his face back up to hers. His hands wandered down her spine and over her backside until he negotiated her up into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his torso as he rested her on the bar. Their lips never left each other as his hands found their way beneath the hem of her skirt. Just as he was about to travel further north to her thigh, she nudged him away reluctantly. "We can't keep doing this. You know that we're going to have to stop, and even if we didn't, I'm not sure that I want it to happen here like this."

Nikolas sighed loudly as he allowed her back to her feet. He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration before punching the button to start the elevator again. He was embarrassed by how he had acted without thinking and felt sheepish at her eventual rejection of him. He had been ready to take her then and there without any thought of the actual situation. He was just wrapped up in being there with Nadine and seeing his mother. It had only reminded him once again how fleeting life could be and how important it was to seize every single day.

The elevator progressed down a few more floors without a single word from either of them. Nadine couldn't take the silence and decided that it was her turn to be reckless. Sidestepping the prince, she pushed the stop button again. "Alright, Cassadine, we're not getting off this elevator until you look at me."

He pursed his lips tightly and looked up at her begrudgingly. "There, happy?"

Grabbing his chin in her hands, she forced his gaze to hold steady on her eyes. "No, not at all, actually," she answered. "Don't you think I want you, Nikolas? I mean, have you seen you? You are delicious. I spend half the time I am with you trying to find a way around Patrick's orders. I have wanted you for so long. We're not just talking weeks here; it has been months. I feel so many things for you, and desire is definitely one of them. It just can't happen like this."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, suddenly feeling two inches tall. He knew that she wanted him. He felt it every single time when he held her in the way that her body reacted from a single kiss. Of course she was right. She deserved to have their first time together to be more special than a quickie in an elevator at a mental hospital. It sounded even more horrible when he thought of it like that. "I just…you're just so…man, I am frustrated."

"I know, you're not the only one," she promised as she threaded her arms around his torso. "Do you have any clue how hard it is to lie next to you all those nights and not throw myself at you? And your kisses... Now, I'm no expert here, but I am pretty sure that your lips have got to be a sin."

He loved how open and flirtatious she was being, doing anything just to bring a little bit of light to an otherwise tense situation. "It's not like your lips are exactly singing the gospel there, my darling," he pointed out before pushing the start button again. The lift sprung to life and finally delivered them to the lobby. The nurse at the visitors' desk didn't look at them too kindly as she took back their guest badges. When they were back outside in the fresh air, Nikolas turned his face toward the sun and smiled. "So, how long do you think we got?"

"Six days," she answered. "I called Patrick myself yesterday. You're not the only one who wanted to do a little research on my status."

"Less than a week," he drawled as he pulled her into his arms. "Do you think we can wait that long?"

"I am pretty sure that I can manage to get through the next six days. It's not like everything is off limits after all…"

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well, there is this," Nadine whispered before kissing him soundly on the lips. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip. "And this." She snaked her hands up the back of his shirt for the comforting warmth of his lower back. "And this." She pressed her body fully to his and started to kiss along his jaw line. "And this." She nibbled playfully on his ear lobe before kissing behind his ear. "There are a lot of things we can do if we are creative enough."

"Six days?" he asked again as they started to drift toward the car.

"Six days," she confirmed. "It's both just a heartbeat and a lifetime away. Think you can wait?"

"I've been waiting my entire life to find you," Nikolas declared as he opened the door for her. "Six days is nothing compared to a lifetime."


	21. Chapter 21

Over the course of her relationship with Nikolas, Nadine had kept a careful checklist in her head of firsts. There was the first time he held her gaze across a crowded room – at the hospital after one of his appointments when he was dealing with the brain tumor. There was the first time he took her hand in his – when she followed him to the abandoned warehouse when he was still going through the blackouts. There was the first time she knew she felt more for him than friendship – when she saw him with his son at Wyndamere. There was the first time they kissed – in his sitting room when he grabbed her with such abandon. There was the first time they danced – a waltz on the terrace after that very memorable dinner.

One by one, she had marked these important milestones off in her mind, reminding her that each represented a step closer to a future with them. There were still many left for them to cross – the first declaration of love, the first time they made love, introducing him to her friends back in Texas. Some of them were still a ways off while others she hoped were just around the corner. There were some that she would love to check off this instance if she was able to, but in the mean time, she was determined to make at least one of them happen on this cold, rainy morning.

Lighting streaked across the dark sky as Nikolas made his way upstairs. Spencer was off with Lucky and Cameron on some great adventure, leaving him without much to do that day. He had tried to work for awhile but quickly found himself distracted by the emptiness of Wyndamere. After trying fruitlessly to focus on paperwork for some new deal his financial advisors worked up, he had decided to go upstairs and see if Nadine wanted to watch movies in the screening room. He knew that she had a weakness for sappy chick flicks on rainy days, and he had a weakness for holding her in the dark. However, all of his plans soon went to the wayside when he found her in her bedroom.

Nadine was sitting in the middle of her floor, barefoot and completely surrounded by compact discs. Her head was bent over in deep thought. He took in the incredible cute sight of her in the midst of determined concentration, with a messy topknot on top of her head held in place securely with a yellow pencil. A spiral steno pad was in her lap as she looked at the stacks on all sides of her. She picked up one CD and scanned her finger over the track listing for a moment. Shaking her head slightly, she quickly discarded it off to the side with another tall stack of plastic cases. She selected another disc and read over the songs. She seemed happier this time as she sat it atop a shorter tower of cases.

He watched her repeat the process a few more times before clearing his throat to announce his presence. She glanced up at him briefly before looking back down at the notepad in front of her. "What in the world are you doing?" he asked as she pondered yet another plastic case.

A slight blush spread over the apples of her cheeks. She smiled up at him as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear thoughtfully. "We need a song," she declared, holding up a CD as evidence. The blank look on his face emphasized his clear confusion. "Every couple should have a song. I'm trying to find ours."

"Okay," he drawled slowly, clearly not understanding the importance of her selection process. Nikolas was a romantic in nearly every way, but he really didn't get the significance of having a song. It was never something he had done with Emily, so it didn't really occur to him that he should have a song with Nadine. She, on the other hand, needed to have a melodic representation of their feelings for each other. "Where did you get all these CDs? I mean, they're clearly not mine. I don't think I even have a collection half this size."

"I convinced Alfred to send someone over to my apartment yesterday," she admitted as he sat down beside her. "I hope you don't mind. I thought it would be a good project for me this morning while you were working."

Sitting cross-legged, he began to inspect her various stacks of discs. There were some artists that he recognized and others that he had never heard of. As a true aficionado of classical music, he had never taken the time to understand the significance of popular music. He'd heard songs here and there during their teenaged years when Elizabeth and Emily used to gossip about the latest videos on MTV. Lucky had convinced him to listen to some blues and jazz once. Still, he had never taken to anything other than the classical stylings of Beethoven, Vivaldi and Mozart. Nadine apparently was very much the opposite, with eclectic taste that encompassed nearly every genre of music.

There were artists that one would expect to be included in the pursuit of the perfect romantic song, those old standbys that had been played at nearly every Port Charles wedding over the years. Al Green, REO Speedwagon and Mariah Carey seemed to fit those criteria. Others represented a more classic taste in music – artists like Journey, Percy Sledge and a cheesy Aerosmith ballad from some movie Elizabeth and Emily had convinced Nikolas and Lucky to see with them when they were still in high school. There were some that he knew nothing about. He'd never heard of people like Imogen Heap, Jason Mraz or Colbie Caillat.

"Wow, there is a lot to look at," he mused as he sat down an album from some band named Rose Royce. He could see that some song from the CD had made her short list. He wanted to ask why this was important to her but knew that it didn't matter. If it made her happy to have a song that reminded her of him, he was all for it. Anything that made her smile at him the way she was now had to be a good thing. "What are the criteria for choosing a song exactly? I mean, what goes into this?"

Setting down the steno book, she looked at him seriously. "There are a number of factors that go into picking the perfect song to define your relationship," she explained to him slowly, much like Lucky used to speak to him when they talked about the everyday normal things he had missed out on growing up. "There is the tone of the song, is it upbeat or melancholy? Then, you have to think about whether any songs have had any significance in the relationship. Like, I had a boyfriend in seventh grade, and our song was the first one that we ever held hands during. I always hated that Celine Dion had to be playing then. There's also melody, genre and just overall opinion of a song. But those things aren't the most important."

"Oh, really?" he teased with a raised eyebrow. She grimaced at him playfully in return. "Tell me, Ms. Crowell, what is the most important thing about picking a song?"

"The lyrics!" she exclaimed in disbelief. It was so obvious to her, but such a thing would never occur to a guy like Nikolas. "The meaning of a song is everything. There are just songs that take you back to a certain place or place or person. That's what a good couple song should do. It should remind you of that person. It can be the entire song that means something, but it's usually different for me. I tend to react to very specific musical moments – a single lyric that embodies how I feel about that person."

He seemed to consider this for a moment as he flipped over a Ben Folds album to look at the song titles. "I can see why that would be important," he conceded. "I obviously don't know a lot about pop music or songs with any words at all actually. I'll trust you to find exactly the ring song. I only ask one thing. You better pick a good song that we can slow dance to. That's what music is really for – holding someone so close to you that you feel like you are the only two people in the world, even in the midst of a crowded dance floor."

Nadine held his gaze for a moment, another round of crimson working its way up her neck. Just the thought of Nikolas holding her was enough to set off waves of desire in her hormonal body. "Dancing is important," she agreed. She flipped through a few more CDs before coming across one of her favorite albums. She has listened to it constantly when she had first moved to Port Charles. As soon as she looked at the listing of tracks, she knew that she had found their song. It was so clear to her in that moment that she couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't thought of it sooner. "This is it. This is our song." Nikolas started to ask her which song when she handed him over the disc. "Put it on track three."

Walking over to the stereo system housed in the mahogany armoire, he didn't recognize the label on the disc. However, he recognized the glowing look in her cobalt blue eyes. Whatever this song was, it clearly meant something to her. He popped in the CD and returned to her side on the floor as the acoustic melody filled the airy room. "This is nice," he commented as he listened to the instrumental opening. "Who is it?"

"Shhh!" she commanded as she closed her eyes. "Just listen to the words."

_The dawn is breaking, a light shining through. You're barely waking, and I'm tangled up in you, yeah._

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he moved closer to her as he watched her sway slowly in time with the music. Nikolas closed his own eyes and trying to listen to every single word. He wanted to understand what made this song so important to her and why it personified their relationship. Verse by verse, line by line, word by word, he took in the meaning of each separate thought and the song as a whole. The harmony was hauntingly romantic, the lyrics soulful. It was clearly a beautiful song, but there were many beautiful songs. What made this their song? When the song finished and the album flipped to the next track, he sought the answer to this question. "Now will you explain it to me?"

"Like I said, there is a very specific musical moment," she answered. Standing up, she went back to the stereo and restarted the song. He sat through the first verse and chorus patiently for her explanation. "Listen to this part."

_I'm quiet, you know. You make a first impression. I found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind._

Nadine paused the song and looked up at him expectantly. "I guess that is how I think of us or at least how I thought of us in the beginning," she told him. "You were this quiet, studious guy. We both know that I have a way of making a first impression. We didn't really seem perfect for each other, you know? It scared you to know that I felt something more for you than friendship."

"I didn't want to be the man on your mind," he nodded, remembering those days not too long ago when he had been so adamantly against a relationship with Nadine. Her feelings for him had been so powerful and frightening. They were the first thing that had been real to him in months. "But it didn't matter what I wanted because we were inevitable. Like the song said, we just collided."

"Exactly," she grinned. "It's Howie Day's song, 'Collide.' I could find parts of you and me in nearly every word of that song, but it was that little verse that stuck out in my mind. That song is us, Nik. It has all the elements of the perfect couple song and we can dance to it. What do you think?"

"I think it's perfect," he assured her before kissing the tip of her nose. She looked proud of herself as she held up the plastic case triumphantly. Just then, he had a flash back of some John Cusack movie he had watched once on cable. In the film, the main character had gone through the criteria of making the perfect mixed tape. Seeing how happy she was almost made him want to do something as pedestrian as that for Nadine. But that would never be his style. "What do you say we listen to it again? I think we should test your dancing theory."

The song started over again as Nikolas slid his arms around her slender waist. Her hands threaded behind his neck as they began to move together in time to the acoustic melody. Closing her eyes, she leaned her face against his chest as his chin found its home on the crown of her head. Nikolas could feel the fluttering vibration against his rib cage as she hummed along to the song. "See?" she murmured. "Perfection."

"Perfection," he repeated softly into her ear. The intimate tone of his low voice sent chills up her arms. Nikolas lifted her slightly off the ground so that she was at his eye level and spun her around in a circle. She giggled as he sat her back on the ground carefully and resumed their dance. "Thank you."

"For?"

"For caring about me and our relationship enough to want us to have a song," he answered quietly. "You think of all these little things to show me how much you care. I've always been more overt in my declarations of feelings, but you find small ways to remind me every single day. I don't think you get how much that means to me. It makes me feel so…" His voice trailed off because he couldn't find the right word to define how he felt. Instead, he simply took his hand and pressed it over his heart. It was the only thing he could come up with that would convey it to her.

"I never want you to doubt how I feel about you, even for one minute," she professed as his chocolate eyes locked with hers. The heat radiating between them was scorching and dangerously bordering on another round of breathless chastity. It took everything in her not to destroy the column of buttons on the front of his pristine dress shirt just so that she could brush her fingertips over his sculpted chest and toned abs. "Four days."

Nikolas bit down on his bottom lip hard, trying to chase away thoughts of how she would look beneath his body as he hovered over her. Her body just fit too well in his arms not to conjure up inappropriate thoughts of all the dirty deeds they could commit on this hardwood floor…and the arm chair in the corner…and the bed on the opposite wall…and the oversized tub in the next room…and the terrace just outside the double doors. He felt familiar warmth surging just below his belt and silently cursed Patrick Drake for the millionth time that week. "Four days."


	22. Chapter 22

"Have you seen my keys?"

"They're on your desk. You sat them there when you picked up Spencer last night. Don't forget that we're having dinner with your brother tonight. They're going to meet us at the restaurant at seven."

"I can't believe that I already forgot all about that. You might have to meet me at the clinic. Can you bring a suit with you in case I need to change?"

"Sure, Alfred picked up the dry cleaning yesterday afternoon, so that charcoal one is back that I love so much. I was going to wear that slate silk dress that I picked up yesterday when I was shopping with Leyla at Wyndham's."

"Spencer, stop playing with your eggs and eat them. You're going to be late again."

"Daddy, I'm not playing with my eggs. I'm spreading them around so that it looks like I already ate some. They're yucky."

Nadine smiled affectionately across the table at Spencer as he dropped his fork on the walnut table in defeat. Nikolas reached across to pick up the plate and replaced it with a bowl of fresh fruit. They did this almost every morning. Spencer rarely liked what Mrs. Landsbury made for him, and Nikolas always ended up feeling him slices of apple and banana in his favorite Spiderman bowl. They were nearly late most days, it was their routine, and in the short time she had been staying at Wyndamere, it had become hers. She loved how integrated into their lives she felt. With her deadline of full recovery looming tomorrow, she had begun to wonder how long her stay at the mansion would last. It was still so soon to officially move in together, and yet, she couldn't imagine living in that apartment alone again. She would miss waking up knowing that Spencer could come in at any minute or smiling at Nikolas over breakfast every morning.

"Alright, Master Spencer, your Aunt Elizabeth is waiting outside in the car to take you to your play date," Alfred announced from the doorway in his formal English accent. The older man came into the dining room and helped the little boy climb down from his seat. He tucked another apple into his backpack and handed it over to Nikolas.

Bending down, Nikolas helped his son shrug the bag over his shoulders. "Alright, you listen to everything Cameron's teacher tells you today," Nikolas ordered him patiently. Spencer nodded obediently before leaning forward to hug his father. The two Cassadine held onto each other for a long moment. "I love you, Buddy."

"I love you, too, Daddy," he grinned before sprinting over to hug Nadine. He embraced her tightly as she dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "Will you be here when I get home?"

"I will be here before we go to dinner so that I can tuck you in," she promised. Spencer seemed to approve because he simply waved at his father and Nadine before bounding out of the room. Nadine watched after him for a moment before turning back to her green tea and crepes. "I wish that you didn't have to work today. It's my last day on bed rest. I was hoping that we could just hang out."

Nikolas took a long sip of coffee before setting the china mug back on the table. "I'm sorry, if I had known that you anything planned, I wouldn't have set up this meeting," he apologized. Nadine shrugged nonchalantly, lamely trying to hide her disappointment. "I'll tell you what, I don't officially have to be in town until four this afternoon for that meeting. I don't want to reschedule it since it has to do with the clinic, but I have the rest of the day that we could spend alone. Just you and me – what do you say?"

"I love you, Nikolas."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Nadine knew that it was too soon. She hadn't wanted to be the one to say it first. As much as she was mentally kicking herself, the pain couldn't even begin to compare to how much it hurt to only hear silence in return. Burying her face in her hands, she wanted to sink through the floorboards and disappear. She wanted to be standing behind the nurse's station with Leyla, gossiping about the patients. She wanted to be dancing barefoot alone in her apartment while she got ready to go out for drinks with the girls. She wanted to be reading a book at the corner table at Kelly's. She pretty much wanted to be anywhere else but in that dining room. However, just as she was about to concoct a master plan for a semi-graceful exit, she felt his strong hands prying her fingers from her eyes.

"I love you, too, Nadine."

She didn't want to cry. She hadn't intended to do it when he finally said the three words that she wanted to hear. Yet, as soon as she heard them, she had to cry out of relief. Knowing that he felt the same as she did validated everything they had been through. It made almost dying in the fire worth it. "You do?" she whispered as she stood up. Nikolas nodded silently as he tangled his hands in her blonde hair. Pulling her face to his, he proved to her just how much he loved her with a long, soulful kiss that literally made her toes curl in delicious pleasure. She pulled away breathlessly and looked up at him in awe. "I thought that maybe you loved me. I mean, I really hoped that you did because I knew how I felt but you had never said so I didn't know for sure…"

"You talk too much," he murmured against her mouth before capturing her mouth again. His tongue darted past her lips, eliciting a guttural moan from deep within her ribs. Her hands found their way behind his neck as he lifted her slightly and sat her down on the edge of table. He moved between her parted thighs and continued to kiss her with everything he possessed. She could feel his body harden against hers as she grazed her fingernails beneath the hem of his shirt and over the bare warm skin of his back. "Don't stop," he pleaded as she locked her legs around his waist and pulled him even closer to him. His fingers worked nimbly over the row of buttons on her pristine white cardigan sweater.

Nadine leaned back on her palms to allow Nikolas to peal away her cardigan. He tossed it carelessly over his shoulder before attacking her collarbone with openmouthed kisses. If he kept going, they would soon reach the road of no return. She knew that she needed to stop it. She needed to push him away as they had had to do too many times during her stay at Wyndamere. She was supposed to do these things, even if she didn't want to. "One more day, Nikolas," she managed before raking her fingers through his dark hair. He didn't even look up as he began to work his way across her shoulder blades. Nadine sighed contently as he pushed down the straps of her camisole and kissed the place where the flimsy fabric previously sat.

"Screw that," he grunted as he lifted her off the table and carried her toward the staircase. Nadine's lips found her ways to Nikolas' as they navigated the stairway and hallway that led to his private quarters. He didn't even bother with the lights as he brought her into his bedroom. The only thing he really cared about was a closed door and a few hours alone with this incredible woman. Nikolas sat her gently in the middle of his spacious mattress. With her arms still locked around his neck, she managed to easily pull him down on top of her. The weight of his body pressed against her as he hovered over her, staring into a pair of blue eyes that mirrored every emotion radiating through his own body. "Are you sure?"

He knew the answer before he asked it, but he needed for her to be sure. Once they crossed this line, it would never be like it was before. He wanted this more than anything, but if she wasn't ready, he would wait for her. Thankfully, he only had to wait about three seconds before she dragged him all the way down to her. "This really isn't what I had in mind today," she giggled as Nikolas began to slowly unzip her jeans and pull them off. His hands ran over every inch of her skin down to her toes and then back up to her face again. Framing her cheeks in his hand, he looked up and down her body appreciatively. As someone who had always been self-conscious, she had never felt sexier than she did in front of Nikolas in her camisole and plain black cotton panties.

"Come here," she ordered suddenly, wanting to play the part of seductress for a minute. She hooked her ankle around his waist and pressed him down over her with a sudden burst of energy. Nikolas ran his hands down her sides as they languished in a long kiss. Nadine managed to turn them over so that she was on top. Straddling his thighs, she sat over him like a goddess. Looking into his eyes, she meticulously unfastened each button on his dark button-up shirt. He leaned up only slightly to allow her to remove the shirt before collapsing back against the bed. Her fingers traced the defined outlines of his chest and then his abdomen. Nikolas inhaled sharply when she dared to dip below his bellybutton and brush her fingertips over the fine hairs leading to his belt.

Sitting up, Nikolas pressed hair back from her eyes before leaning in to kiss her again. He could never get enough of just kissing her. As their tongues wrestled for control past her wet lips, he began to inch her camisole up her back. Sensing his need, she pushed away his hands and lifted the thin tank away herself. "I want to feel you," he implored as she pressed her bare chest against his. He didn't make a move to feel her up, he simply reveled in the warm sensation of her skin.

Nadine eventually surrendered to him when he began to sensually massage her back and sides. Nikolas kissed her until her back was flat against the mattress and then began to torturous journey down her neck to her breasts. He palmed her flesh gently, applying just the right pressure to elicit moans of praise from her. It was only when he had worked her to the brink did he allow her to reciprocate. She hungrily unclasped his belt and tossed it on the floor. His pants soon followed in a puddle of fine silk. After surviving a brain tumor, the ghost of fiancé, countless insecurities, a fire and the subsequent recover, there was now only a pair of cotton briefs and jersey boxer briefs between them.

"Tell me again," she urged as he ran his hands down her spine and over her firm bottom. He kissed her greedily, alternating between sucking on her tongue and biting down softly on her bottom lip. "Please, Nikolas, I need to hear you say it again."

Nikolas pressed his abdomen against hers so that she could feel all of his desire for her. "I love you," he avowed before hooking his thumbs in her panties and bringing them down past her ankles. He kissed his way up over her calf, across the knee and up her thigh before brushing his lips over her inner core. She gasped immediately as she arched her back. He lavished in the strangled way she said his name, urging him to return to the tender spot. His tongue massaged her masterfully while she called out to him over and over again as if she was entranced. He worked her to the brink again, only this time he allowed her to fall fully over the edge. Her body convulsed beneath him as she fisted his satin sheets in pleasure. Holding her tightly in his arms, he waited for her to ride out the waves of adulation before returning his attention to her lips.

"God, why did I wait for that?" she wondered aloud once she was semi-recovered. Nikolas chuckled at her satisfied smile. The grin grew even wider when she noticed him watching her like a proud little boy. She leaned up and kissed him briefly before crawling out from under him. "Now, it's your turn."

Never one to argue with a determined woman, Nikolas was more than happy to allow her to take the reigns. She knelt by his side and rained kisses down the lines of his torso that she had traced minutes earlier with her hand. Her tongue dipped into the salty crevice between his pectorals before being replaced by her lips over his abs. She repositioned herself between his legs, making certain to pay attention to every inch of his caramel skin. When she finally reached the elastic band of his designer boxer briefs, she didn't hesitate to break down that final barrier between him. In every way possible, Nikolas and Nadine were bare to each other. She could see into his heart. He held her soul.

It didn't take much effort from Nadine to garner a very appreciative reaction from Nikolas. He relished her skillful technique as she willingly worshiped his body. When they were both in that heightened state of awareness that comes just before the world goes completely hazy, he turned them back both over so that he was over her. He watched how her eyes widened when he finally allowed their bodies to become one. She grasped his shoulder tightly, her nails digging into his skin, as they both readjusted to their conjoined state. Then, with a little urging from her, they began to move in sync. Unlike their earlier moments of lust and passion, this was quiet and sweet. And when she fell over the edge this time, she waited until Nikolas could fall with her.

Afterwards, a tired Nadine fell into a fitful sleep in the warmth and safety of Nikolas' arms. He would have usually done the same, completely worn out from such an exhausting round. However, with Nadine, he only wanted to watch her sleep. With the satin sheets arranged over her chest, she was curled against him. He could look down over her if he propped himself up on one elbow. He must have lain like that for over an hour, content to watch the steady rise and fall of her every breath. "I love you," he whispered to her again, brushing his thumb over her lips.

"I love you, too," she retorted as her mouth curled into a smile beneath his touch. Her eyes fluttered open while she yawned. She stretched her body next to his and then turned back into him. His hand found its new home on her bare hip bone while the other snaked across her abdomen to hold her. Her own hands rested over his on her stomach. "I have to say, Cassadine, I really am proud of us. That was quite good, if I do say so myself."

"Quite," he agreed with a small laugh. Leave it up to Nadine to summarize it in such a matter-of-fact way. God help him, he loved this woman. "I just can't believe that we managed to make it this long without attacking each other. I swear, every time you would look at me, let alone kiss me, I was trying to think a way that I could ravage you without technically breaking Patrick's orders."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that I'm glad that tomorrow is the last day of this whole thing because I don't think I could wait too long to do that again," she confessed as she turned over on her stomach. His hands threaded around her waist as she covered her body with his. She was usually more reserved with a guy than this, never one to speak so openly or boldly when it comes to sex. However, with Nikolas, all those usual insecurities were gone. She felt completely comfortable in her own skin. "How long do we have before you have to get out of bed?"

Glancing over her shoulder, Nikolas deducted the time he would need to get ready for his meeting. "Six hours," he answered before being rewarded with a kiss from a very grateful woman. "What do you want to do? I could send down for some food if you're hungry or we could watch movies." His questions went unanswered as she prodded him into making out like two teenagers. After a minute or two of kissing her, he thought that his lame attempt at activities might have been defeated. "Or we could just do this…"

"We both know where that leads, and as much as I loved it, I'm not sure that my body can handle doing it this soon again," she said. "I actually have something else in mind that I would like to do, but it involves getting out of this bed." He groaned fruitlessly at her suggestion. It didn't matter that the last thing he wanted to do was leave their haven, he would do anything she asked of him. "I was thinking that we could go to Wyndham's."

Nikolas groaned. He hated shopping and had made sure that a hired personal shopper knew his measurements each season so that he could avoid having to do it. "I'm sorry, but why?" he asked. He didn't mean to be so opposing, but he truly dreaded anything do with retail.

"You have done so much for me, and I just wanted to do something for you in return."

"I believe you just did," he teased suggestively.

Nadine punched his shoulder playfully. "I want to buy you a shirt," she informed him haughtily. "I saw it yesterday when I was with Leyla, and I knew that it would look absolutely beautiful on you. I just didn't know what size to get for sure. If you came with me, you could try it on."

"I have a million shirts," he pointed out. "I don't need you to get me anything to show me that you care. I know that you love me, and that's all I really wanted."

"Please, Nikolas, I want do to this for you," she pleaded, jutting out her bottom lip in a lame attempt to conjure guilt from him. When he still didn't budge, she attempted some good old-fashioned bribery. "I mean, you're going to have to try it on in the fitting room. I might have to come in there to help you. We would be stuck all alone in a tiny little confined space with you shirtless. If that sounds like hell to you, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

"No fair, Crowell!" he exclaimed as images of her pressed against the fitting room wall danced in his head. Only a monk would turn down such a proposition. "I guess I could always use another shirt..."

"I thought you would see it my way," she boasted as she slid from the bed and went off in search of the various articles of clothing that were now littered around his bedroom. Instead of pulling on her own camisole, she buttoned Nikolas' shirt over her body and tucked it into her jeans. She looked so damn sexy in his shirt. He could only hope that she would look half as good in his new one.


	23. Chapter 23

After an afternoon of fairly chaste extracurricular activities in the fitting room at Wyndham's, Nikolas had managed to leave Nadine alone at Wyndamere long enough for him to get across town to his supposed meeting at the clinic. She had tried to convince him to come back to the mansion to spend more time with her and Spencer, but he had held firm in his insistence in going to the meeting. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with them – they were pretty much everything to him. It was just that the meeting at the clinic had everything to do with their future as a family.

"Thanks for agreeing to see me at the last minute," Nikolas said gratefully as he kissed his aunt on the cheek. Alexis smiled genuinely as she sat down in an empty chair across from her nephew. "I know that you want to get home to see the girls and I have dinner plans, so I will keep this brief. I want to revisit my will. There are some changes that I would like to make."

Alexis looked up at him unexpectedly, slightly surprised by his announcement. She had known that their business this afternoon was of a legal nature, but she had expected it to pertain to Cassadine Enterprises. They hadn't talked about his estate since Patrick had cleared him of the tumor that spring. "Nikolas, is there anything you need to tell me?" she asked worried, leaning forward slightly. "Has there been a change with your health or something? Is the tumor back? Oh, God, has Helena resurfaced?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that," he chuckled at his aunt's rambling. She was always doing that to herself, getting completely worked up over the slightest hint of trouble. It reminded him of Nadine a lot in that way. It only made sense that he would find the quality equally endearing in both women considering that they were the two most important ladies in the world to him. "As you know, Nadine and I have been spending a lot more time together. I am not saying that I want to make any changes yet, but there are some things I want to start looking at. If we were to stay together, I'd want to make sure that she was taken care of if anything was to happen to me."

Scribbling notes on her yellow legal pad, she waited for him to continue. When he was silent, she looked up at him over the edge of her horn-rimmed glasses. "Okay, well, your current will calls for the estate to be split once Spencer turns 25. I would act as executor until that time. If I was unable to oversee your affairs, you named Lucky and Lulu as co-executors," she reminded him. "Spencer and any other child you should have would inherit a majority of your estate at about seventy-five percent. The remaining twenty-five percent would be split equally between my children as well as Lucky and Lulu's kids. Spencer would act as head of Cassadine Industries if he is willing and of age. Any other heirs would be given titles and responsibilities based on age and Spencer's discretion."

"Wow, comprehensive," Nikolas deadpanned. She definitely had a knack for detail. "I'd still like Spencer and any other kids I have to inherit most of what I have. That's the way Nadine would want it. And of course, I want the girls and my nieces and nephews to be taken care of when I'm gone. I just want to make sure that I could work out a small percentage for Nadine. That's not really the most important thing though. I'm not just talking about money or my holdings."

"Spencer," Alexis declared knowingly. As much as she loved her nephew, she almost loved her great-nephew even more. Until now, it had been understood that she would take Spencer if something ever happened to Nikolas. He had come to her when he was going through everything with the tumor and made her promise to raise him. If she couldn't, he would be raised by Lucky. The only stipulation that was really made was that Helena was absolutely not to have any kind of contact with Spencer. "Nikolas, are you thinking about asking Nadine to adopt Spencer?"

Looking down at his hands, Nikolas knew that his aunt was likely taken aback by the quick pace he was suddenly moving at with Nadine. It felt a little fast to him at times still, too. However, today was just another example of how right it felt with her. "Losing Emily taught me how fleeting life is, Alexis. Things happen when we least expect them. If something happens to me, I need to know that Spencer will be loved," he tried to explain. "I know that you and Lucky would do an amazing job, but you have lives of your own. Nadine would build her entire life around my little boy. In a lot of ways, she already has. I've seen the way they are together. He loves her. Even more than Nadine and me, I know that the two of them were made to be together. I'm not ready to make any definitive decisions, but yes, I do want to begin exploring adoption."

In the two years after Courtney died, Nikolas never once brought up the idea of adoption with Alexis. He had never made permanent arrangements in his will to have Emily take care of him if he was to die. He never asked her to adopt him as far as Alexis knew. "Okay, I can start talking to a friend of mine from law school that specializes in adoption. She is supposed to be in the city next week, so we can head into New York to meet her," she suggested. "Do you want to find out when works best for Nadine and invite her? I can try to plan around her schedule at the hospital."

"I don't want to bring this up to her until I am absolutely sure," he countered. "I really want to make sure that this is the best decision for everyone before I even have the conversation with her or Spencer. We've only just really started to get serious. It's just that this is a part of my life that I have to think about now. Speaking of serious, I was hoping to have you and the girls out to my house for dinner. I would like you to spend some time with Nadine and get to know her. Your opinion is very important to me."

"Name a night and we'll be there," she promised, reaching across the desk to cover his hand with hers. It had been a long time since she had seen him look that happy, that at peace. "I am really happy for you, Nikolas. Nadine seems to really have a positive impact on you. I think it's great that you are letting yourself fall in love again. I know that Emily would be happy for you."

Nikolas' eyes darted down to the desktop for a moment and then up to meet his aunt's gaze. "She really would, wouldn't she?" he grinned. He pulled his hand away before coming around to hug her tightly. "Thank you again for coming by here. I will check with Nadine to see when dinner would work and we can set something up for next week. She's been staying with us at Wyndamere, and I'm hoping that she will be willing to make it a little more permanent."

"Did you just slide the fact that you are going to ask her to move in with you at the end of this conversation?" she chastised him as she pulled away from the hug. "That's a pretty big step."

"It's one that I am ready to make," he assured her. It was something that had been on his mind all day, ever since he had seen her dance around his bedroom in his shirt. He wanted to wake up to her like that every single day. There was no way she could go back to living in that apartment blocks away from him and Spencer. They needed her there. "That's why it is so important to me that you get to know Nadine. I'm pretty sure that she is going to be around for awhile. I want her to know Kristina and Molly better, too. She is great with kids."

"She was wonderful with Kristina when we went in a few weeks ago to get her booster shots," Alexis acknowledged before turning back to pack up her briefcase. "I'll bring the girls and Sam whenever you want us there. Nikolas, as long as you love her, I know that we will love her, too. Your happiness is all that really matters to us. You do love her, don't you?"

A slightly crimson spread across Nikolas' caramel-colored cheeks at his aunt's probing question. "I love her," he confirmed with a confident nod. "Even better than that, she loves me and she loves my son. That's all I needed to know to be happy."

Nikolas followed Alexis to the door, pausing once more to hug her. There was little sane Cassadine family left in the world, and so many times, it had felt like the two of them against the world. They had added children along the way, but at the core, he knew that she was the one person who had loved him from the day that he was born and would love him until the day that she died. She was his family when he wasn't sure that existed. "I love you, Aunt Alexis," he murmured as she squeezed him tightly. "I don't tell you that often enough or say thank you."

"I don't need to hear it to know it," she responded as she rested her hand on the door knob. In many ways, Nikolas was her oldest child. He was her constant, the one thing she had always been able to count on. She had made sure that she had survived Helena and the other Cassadine psychopaths because she had wanted him to have the best life possible. When she had wanted to run away from everything that she had known, he had been the one thing that kept her tethered to the ground and kept her coming back to Port Charles. "I love you, too."

They exchanged a final smile before Nikolas closed the door behind her. He walked back over to his desk and started to rifle through his top drawer. He still had one final meeting before he could return back to the house to get Nadine for dinner. A polite knock at the door announced his second visitor of the afternoon. "Come in," he permitted without even looking up from his checkbook. When he was finished making out the check, he looked up at the uniformed man waiting for him. "Thank you for coming by to see me. Did you bring what I asked?"

"Of course, Mr. Cassadine," the man replied obediently. He took the chrome briefcase and sat it on the desk. Nikolas watched as he quickly worked the pair of locks before flipping open the case to reveal an expansive display of sparkling baubles and glittering jewels. "Everything is one-of-a-kind and has never been seen by anyone other than the designer and me. We had the diamonds imported from a remote village in Lesotho."

He leaned over to examine the jewelry closer. Nikolas absently fingered a pair of sizable diamond drop earrings before disregarding them as too gaudy. He also quickly skipped over a simple tennis bracelet, an ostentatious cocktail ring and deep green emerald earrings set in white gold. There were really only two pieces in there that he would even begin to consider for Nadine. "It's between these two," he told the jeweler, pointing to each of the selected pieces. The man removed them and sat them on a black velvet cloth so that he could look at them further. Nikolas lifted the necklace first and ran his fingers over the platinum links. The fine chain slid through his fingertips as he held it up at eye level to look at the sizable pendant. It was a small, diamond-encrusted duck. He knew that it was something that no one else would ever ask for but him. He'd chosen it because it reminded him of the silly bracelet she wore every day at work. It was the first endearing thing that had caught his eye and told him just how special she was. The necklace was exactly as he had imagined it.

On the other hand, the bracelet was far better than he had ever thought it would turn out. The white gold bracelet consisted of diamond heart-shaped links. At first sight, it was a fairly run-of-the-mill piece that sat in the jewelry boxes of rich trophy wives across the country. The clasp was the thing that made it different. Instead of the traditional lobster clasp on each end, Nikolas had the jeweler custom make magnetic clasps in the shape of Ns. On one of the clasps, there was also a smaller magnetic S. When the bracelet was secured around her wrist, it would read NSN, standing for Nikolas Spencer Nadine. He absolutely loved it.

"I can't decide," he mused, holding a piece in each hand. The necklace was very much about their beginning. It kind of showed where they had come from. The bracelet was about their future. It represented where they could go. In such an instance, there really was only one choice he could make. "I'll take them both."

The man smiled deliciously, dreams of vacations and home remodeling dancing in his eyes. The sale represented a sizable commission, but the money was pretty minor for Nikolas. It couldn't even begin to do justice to what Nadine deserved from him. "Yes, sir, I will just write up the ticket," the jeweler told Nikolas before quickly packing up the rest of the pieces back into the case. "I will just have these wrapped and bring in the receipt in a moment. Is there anything else I can do for you this afternoon, sir?"

Nikolas shook his head dismissively. "Just leave them, I will wrap them myself," he decided. The man exited the room obediently, leaving Nikolas alone once again. He pulled a file folder from his inbox and ran his eyes over the text. This was what he wanted to wrap her gift in. It took him awhile to get it done, but he eventually managed to make the pair of boxes look almost presentable. He finished the box off with a white silk ribbon that he had taken from the wrapping room that Mrs. Landsbury had organized off the pantry at Wyndamere. Tucking them into the pocket of his blazer, he smiled at himself in satisfaction before reaching for his telephone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Daddy!" Spencer's proud voice crackled through the receiver. Nikolas had been working with the toddler on etiquette, so he was excited about getting to answer the phone at home. The proud father smiled to himself again in satisfaction. "When are you coming home? Nadine and me are playing this new game that she just taught me, and it's really fun."

"Nadine and I," Nikolas corrected him automatically. "I will be home in a half-hour, when Po's left arm is on the twelve and the little hand is on the four." Spencer's favorite thing lately had been the Kung Fu Panda that Nadine had picked up for him at the hospital gift shop. He had insisted on learning to tell time immediately. "Can I talk to Nadine?"

"Nadine, Daddy wants you!"

The sounds of the phone exchanging hands filled Nikolas' ear before he heard Nadine exhale softly into the phone. "I bet he does," she teased in a low voice. "So, when are you coming home? We miss you."

"I miss you both too," he smiled. He loved hearing her ask about home and talking about his son as if they were a cohesive unit. "I'm just finishing things up with the meeting and should be out of here within a few minutes. You should probably start getting ready. I need to make a pit stop before we meet Elizabeth and Lucky at the restaurant."

"Will do," she replied distractedly. He could hear Spencer calling her in the background. "Look, I have an anxious little boy to get back to so I'll let you go. See you in a little while."

"Okay," he relented, not wanting to end his connection to her just yet. "I love you."

"Love you, too," she chirped before hanging up.

Nikolas returned the phone to the cradle as the jeweler came back in with a carbon copy of the receipt from the pieces. He scanned the figures quickly before signing off on the withdrawal of funds from his account. "Thank you for bringing these by on such short notice."

After a few more minutes of polite conversation from Nikolas and sucking up from the jeweler, Nikolas walked him out of the clinic and headed back to the bathroom to change into his evening suit. Nadine had picket out a soft sage green shirt to go with the charcoal suit. It wasn't something that he would typically pick out because the hue was so far out of his usual palette. However, he had to admit that it fit him perfectly. As he pulled on the damask silk coat that matched his pants, he heard his phone ringing from the other room. Flipping off the light to his private bathroom, he jogged back into the office to answer it with a curt, "Nikolas Cassadine."

"Hey, it's me again," Nadine giggled on the line. "I forgot to tell you something earlier."

"Oh? What is that?"

"We're staying at my apartment tonight."

"Why?" Nikolas asked confusedly. There was no logical reason anyone would want to stay there given the luxurious amenities and complete staff offering of his mansion.

"Because I intend to rock your world again tonight," she purred. "And I intend to make some noise."


	24. Chapter 24

"Can you hurry up? We're going to be late."

Nadine looked up in shock as Nikolas growled his demand. Things had been perfect between them only a few hours before, but now that he was home, she suddenly felt like they were back in that early part of their relationship when everything had still been undefined. She smoothed her hand over her perfectly straight blonde hair nervously as she grabbed her clutch off the vanity in her room. Not for the first time since he had arrived home, she silently chastised herself for falling asleep with Spencer when she put him down for his afternoon nap. She hadn't meant to, but after playing games with the rambunctious toddler for a few hours, the exhaustion had quickly caught up with her.

She still wasn't used to that much physical activity after the fire, but the fact that she was recovering from life-threatening injuries seemed to escape Nikolas. "I'm sorry," she apologized again, her voice soft and meek. He didn't even bother to acknowledge her as she followed him down the stairs obediently like a small child. When they reached the landing, she grabbed his wrist and forced him to turn and look at her. "I said I'm sorry, Nikolas. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'm sure your brother will understand if we're a few minutes late."

"That's not the point, Nadine" he informed her in a cold voice. She visibly winced at the disconnected way he said her name. His tone was dripping with distain and disapproval. "I rushed around all afternoon because it was so important to you that we have dinner with Elizabeth and Lucky. I would have been perfectly happy staying home with you tonight, but you insisted that we go out. I just would have appreciated if you could have had enough respect to at least be on time for the plans you made for us."

Confusion watched over her delicate features as she looked up at him, still trying to figure out what she had done that was so horribly wrong. Nadine had been late before, but Nikolas had never reacted like this. "I just got tired," she explained. "Look, I know you're angry, I get that. That doesn't give you the right to speak to me this way. You can't punish me every time I do something that you don't approve of, Nikolas. I'm not your employee or your son. I am the woman that you claimed to love. Please, you need to treat me like an equal."

Suddenly, it was Nikolas that felt like a reprimanded child who had been reminded exactly what his place was. He reached down and grabbed her hand to pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he held her close to him. "There was just somewhere that I wanted to take you before dinner. I was disappointed when you weren't ready and instead of dealing with that maturely, I took it out on you. I know that I can be selfish sometimes, but I am really trying to get used to it. It's hard when you're used to getting everything that you want."

Running her hands over his back, she leaned back slightly to meet his eye line. "You can still have everything you want, you just need to figure out a better way to approach it," she suggested. "I feel like we keep having the same fight over and over again. I'm sorry that I disrupted your plans, but we have all night. We can go wherever you wanted to take me after dinner."

"Really?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow at her. She was an absolute vision in the slate silk dress she had picked out the day before with Leyla, an angel on earth if there ever was one. Her hair framed her face and just grazed the top of her bare shoulders. He could smell the sweet aroma of the mint shampoo she had started using. "Even after all this, you would go somewhere with me?"

"I'd follow you anywhere, Cassadine," she promised with a kiss. Nikolas quickly lost himself in her, in the promise, in the relief filling his body, in the completeness he felt every time he was with her. "No more fighting tonight, you got me? I want to have a romantic double date with my favorite prince and then come home so that he can savage me like the bad boy that hides underneath all that polite charm."

Twenty minutes of heavy petting in the backseat of a chauffeured town car later, Nikolas straightened his tie before helping Nadine step onto the red carpet leading up to the Metrocourt lobby. Her cheeks were tinged with the slight pink of a natural blush, almost letting everyone know exactly what they had been doing on the ride over from Spoon Island. Tucking her hand into Nikolas' arm, she tried to avoid the gaping stares cast her way as the Cassadine Prince led her into the grand dining room. He didn't seem to notice all the looks, and if he did, it didn't faze him. Instead, his smiling face was fixated on his brother and close friend. "Sorry we are late," Nikolas apologized as he let go of Nadine to kiss Elizabeth's cheek. Lucky leaned forward to do the same to Nadine before hugging his brother. Nadine embraced her friend briefly before sitting down in the chair Nikolas had pulled out for her. "I hope that we didn't keep you waiting too long."

"Not at all," Elizabeth assured him warmly, glancing quickly between her two friends. Between the unusually mussed way Nikolas' hair had fallen and Nadine's slightly smeared lipstick, she could guess what had been keeping them. "We've just been here a few minutes. Lucky had an emergency call before we left his house, so I was actually afraid that we were going to make you wait."

Lucky looked up at his ex-wife with feigned horror as she outed him. "I believe that I wasn't the only one running late, Ms. Spencer," he teased. "In fact, my watch showed that it was ten past when you finally made it to my cottage. What was it that you told me? I believe that shoes were mentioned. You never know which shoes to wear."

Nikolas laughed knowingly as he grinned at his closest female friend. "He does have a point there, Liz. Remember that time we all went to dinner in the city? We almost missed our train because you couldn't figure out if you should wear the black heels or the red ones. Lucky and I got so mad at you, but Em just kept insisting that we couldn't rush a woman's right to fashion."

The three old friends laughed fondly at the memory, creating a clear line between history and the present. While Nadine had grown used to it on some level, it still felt strange at times to hear stories told that would never include her. She didn't begrudge them their memories or the time they had spent with Emily. It was just hard to not be a little jealous of the life Nikolas had lived before her. Sensing her discomfort, Lucky looked up at the blonde nurse and smiled kindly. "We will have to go into New York sometime for dinner. Elizabeth and I haven't been there together in ages," he told her. "There are a million places there that I would love to try."

"Maybe we could make a weekend of it some time with the kids," Nikolas considered. With a team of nannies and other hired help, he could make any vacation possible in a matter of minutes. "I've been meaning to take Spencer to spend some time there, but things have just been so crazy this past year. There is this ballroom there that I have always wanted to go to for dinner. I would really love to take you there."

Given all the history that was between Nikolas, Elizabeth and Lucky, Nadine liked that there were still things that he wanted to do that they hadn't experienced yet. She loved that they would have the chance to create memories of their own, stories they would remember years later and hopefully even tell their children. "I'd really like that," she retorted, reaching under the table for his hand. "So, Elizabeth, how did Spencer do with Cam today at school?"

The rest of dinner was spent recounting the humorous stories of the two little boys at preschool, Lucky's latest case, the run-of-the-mill gossip swirling around the hospital, updates about Lulu's health, the latest whereabouts of Luke Spencer and some business transaction that Nikolas was working on in Switzerland. When the foursome politely declined dessert and the bill was paid, they headed out into the chilly night together. The sky overhead was a thick blanket of black velvet, stars strategically placed to give off just the romantic glow.

"I'm not ready to go home," Elizabeth confided as she pulled her wrap around her shivering body. Lucky slipped his arm around her shoulders in an effort to warm her up. "I love Cam and Jake, but this is the first grown-up time Mommy has gotten outside of the hospital in weeks. I intend to take advantage of it just a little longer."

"Why don't we take a walk along the docks?" Nikolas suggested, instantly concocting a plan in his head. He hadn't been able to give Nadine her gift before dinner like he had wanted, but somehow, doing it at the docks seemed like an even better option. He reached for Nadine's hand, which felt like ice in his palm. Slipping off his jacket, he wrapped it around her shoulders before leading her down the well-lit path toward the harbor.

Lucky and Elizabeth walked a few feet ahead of Nikolas and Nadine, their steps perfectly in sync. "I know that this isn't terribly original given everything that happens here, but the piers really are my favorite place in Port Charles," he decided aloud. "Think of all the history that has happened on these old wooden planks. Life has began and ended here. Hearts came together and were torn apart. People have fallen in and out of love on that bench over there. It's the perfect place for a first kiss, a secret rendezvous, a bitter break-up, an angry fight. The harbor has seen it all."

For just a moment, each of the four friends was lost in their own memories of the piers. Nikolas could see images of stolen kisses with Courtney, hopeless devotion with Emily and new beginnings with Nadine. Elizabeth remembered chasing her children along the edge of the dock, falling in love with Lucky for the first time, trying to figure out everything with Jason and then reconnecting to Lucky unexpectedly all over again. Lucky was filled with thoughts of all the promises he had made to Elizabeth here, all the angry tears he had cried here when he had destroyed their life together for drugs and the renewed hope he felt the day when she asked him to stay Jake's father. Nadine was taken back to the first intimate conversations of her friendship with Nikolas, the awkward moments of trying to deny their feelings for each other and the relief of finally being together. They all had history here.

"These docks remind me of the ones that were on the lake back home in Texas," Nadine remembered as she slid her feet out of her heels and lightly tiptoed toward the edge of the pier. She gazed carefully at the water below before sliding to sit down. Her skirt bunched around her as she allowed her toes to skim the top of the glassy surface. It was absolutely freezing, but she didn't mind. "My sister and I lived there. We would make forts underneath the docks to hideout from the boys in the neighborhood. Later, we used to take them there to hide from our parents."

"You must miss your sister," Elizabeth commiserated as she sat down next to her friend. She hadn't been close to Sarah in years, if ever, but she still missed not having her around nearly every single day. It was almost as if Sarah and Steven had magically disappeared from her life altogether sometimes. "I know what it's like not to have your family around. I mean, I have Grams, but it's not the same as if my siblings were here." Reaching over, Elizabeth gave her a friend a side hug. "If you ever feel like that, I just want you to remember that we're your family now."

Nadine felt silly when a lone tear spilled from the corner of her pale azure eyes. Nikolas and Lucky stood a few steps behind them, exchanging smiles as they watched the women talk. They knew that this moment was important. In many ways, it symbolized a shift in their relationship. It was an official sign that Nadine had been accepted into their fold. They had always liked her and were glad that she was with Nikolas, but Elizabeth acknowledging her as family was significant for the close-knit group.

Lucky cleared his throat and bent down at Liz's side. "What do you say that we go get some of that ice cream you love from that shop over on Robertson? I passed by it today and saw that they had a new flavor."

An excited grin lit her face as she accepted his hand and stood up. "Do you want to join us?" she offered to Nikolas and Nadine. When they both silently shook her head, she simply shrugged and pulled Lucky toward the street. "Oh, well, more for us! Thanks for dinner, you guys. We'll have to do it again."

"Good night!" Nadine called to their retreating backs, quietly laughing to herself as she watched as Elizabeth comically pulled Lucky after her. Their voices filled the air for a few moments but soon faded as they drifted further away. When they were alone again and it was quiet, Nadine leaned back on her palms and looked for Nikolas. "Come sit with me."

He looked at the ground skeptically for a moment, wondering if there was anything on that would get stains out of his suit. Finally, he decided to throw caution to the wind, and took a seat next to her. "Why don't you look in my left coat pocket?" She looked at him questioningly before sliding her hand in to pull out one of the boxes. Nadine turned the slim package over in her palm a few times before returning her gaze to him. "Open it."

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly. She noticed the text on the white paper encasing the box and carefully pealed it away. Nikolas took the document from her and held it in his hand while she opened the package. Inside, she was amused to find the diamond duck necklace. "This is adorable."

"It's like your bracelet," he pointed out. She gently lifted the delicate chain from the box and offered it to him so that he could put in on her. Once the pendant was clasped firmly around her graceful neck, Nadine couldn't stop fingering the necklace. It was one of the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts she had ever received. "I always thought that your bracelet was adorable. It was one of the first things about you that I fell in love with. I knew that you had to have this."

"Well, I love it," she declared happily before rewarding him with a soft, open-mouthed kiss. Their brief interlude was a surprising mix of tender passion and white-hot soul. "And in case I haven't told you tonight, I love you."

Nikolas tucked hair behind her ear and whispered, "I love you, too." He loved how much she had loved her gift and couldn't wait to give her the second part of it, "Why don't you check the other pocket? I think there is something else for you."

A girlish giggle escaped past her lips as she pulled out the other box. It was wrapped in the same paper as the other package, and once again, Nikolas quickly picked it up when she sat it aside on the dock. When she opened the lid, she felt her breath catch in her throat. Nikolas lifted the bracelet carefully and turned it over to reveal the clasp. "I wanted to give you something symbolic of our new family," he explained as she traced the initials. This time, more than a single tear spilled down her cheeks. He brushed them away before kissing along the path the salty droplets had taken over her fair skin. "I'll take it that you like it."

"This is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever given me," she professed tearfully before clutching the bracelet to her heart. "Thank you, Nikolas. I don't just mean for the gifts either. As much as I love the jewelry, which is more than you could know, it means even more to hear you call the three of us a family. I love you and Spencer so much. Thank you for letting me be apart of your family."

He wasn't even given a chance to reply because before he could respond, Nadine was in his lap, slowly pressing his back toward the docks as she devoured him with sweetly sinful kisses. She was relentless in her attach, swallowing his breath and taking it as her own. She was hungry to show him how much this meant, how much it made her feel. From the first moment when she had realized that she had loved Nikolas, Nadine had hoped for this moment. All of that dreaming hadn't even begun to prepare her for how amazing the reality of it felt.

After a few minutes, Nikolas had to push her away and catch his breath. If they had kept it up too much later, he was afraid that he would forget his polite upbringing and take her right there in public. When they had managed to disentangle themselves, he elected to reveal the final part of his gift to her. "There's just one more thing," he confessed before handing her the two legal documents that had served as wrapping paper. "Read this."

Her eyes scanned the pages quickly as she read over the contracts. Nadine's eyes widened in disbelief as her jaw fell open. "You bought my apartment building."

"I did."

"You're my new landlord?"

"I am."

"But why?"

Turning to her, Nikolas took both her hands in his and stared deeply into her blue eyes. He had lived with quite a few women over the years, but asking them had never felt like this. Only with Emily had he actually believed in forever, but the back of his mind had always suspected that their time together was only temporary. With Nadine, all of that doubt was gone. He truly believed in their forever and happily ever after. "I want you to move in with me."

"Wow," she gasped. She had been hoping for this moment but had never dared to think that it might actually happen. "You know that you didn't have to buy my apartment building to get me to live with you. You could have just asked."

"I could," he concurred, "but that's not the only reason I wanted to buy it. I wanted you to have somewhere that you could always go to if you needed to clear your head. I wanted you to have a place of your own. And if you just happen to invite me there sometimes to make some noise, all the better."

Nadine blushed deeply as she swatted him playfully. "Okay, I get why you wanted to keep my apartment but why the entire building?"

"Well, I thought that it could be our first project together," he suggested. "I know that we worked on the clinic together, but that wasn't really about you and me. I was thinking that we could remodel the apartments and then lease them to low-income families like we serve at the clinic. They could pay based on their income, and then we could put their rent into a fund to use for the same families. We could offer scholarships for the kids, throw parties for the building, do whatever you wanted. You could keep your space upstairs and we could rent out the rest. What do you think?"

"I think it's an amazing and generous thing to do. I would love to work on it with you."

"What about the living together part?"

"That too."

"So we're going to live together?" he asked, his eyes dancing with joy and satisfaction. He had always known that she was going to say yes, but hearing the words from her mouth made it real. "We're going to live together."

"I'm not sure, Cassadine," she deadpanned, letting her voice trail off to conjure just the slightest hint of doubt in his mind, "but I'm pretty sure that we already do."


	25. Chapter 25

Standing in the midst of the spacious gourmet kitchen at Wyndamere, Nadine meticulously stirred a tall stainless steel pot, praying that her signature marinara sauce would turn out as she had imagined. Tonight was a very important night to Nikolas, and after hours of begging, he had trusted her enough to let her loose in his kitchen. She was determined to put a homemade meal on the table for Nikolas, Spencer, Alexis and her daughters. She had spent all day dicing tomatoes, rolling out homemade pasta noodles, roasting cloves of freshly pressed garlic, baking Italian bread made from scratch and tossing the perfect garden salad. No one was allowed in to help her, not even Alfred. This dinner was a way for her to get to know the rest of the Cassadine family, and Nadine wanted to make sure that everything went exactly to plan.

"Are you sure that there isn't anything I can do to help you?" Nikolas asked from his place at the small table in the breakfast nook. He had been watching her over the edge of his newspaper, far more interested in Nadine's dinner preparations than the stock pages of the _Port Charles Herald_. "I mean, I don't really know how to make anything, but I can have Alfred or Mrs. Landsbury come in to assist you."

Shaking her head, Nadine reached across the counter and turned the page of her cookbook. It was the same one that had been handed down in her family for generations. Each page was filled with handwritten recipes that had kept the Crowells satisfied and happy for years. Her Aunt Raylene had given it to her shortly before she died, and Nadine counted it among her most prized possessions. "I got it, Nikolas, really. You don't have to keep asking me," she answered frustrated. Her sauce was starting to bubble, so she dumped in the caramelized onions and chopped baby portabella mushrooms. "Now, did you say that Spencer was allergic to basil or oregano? I thought I wrote it down somewhere, but I can't find my notes."

"Oregano," Nikolas retorted as he folded the newspaper in half and set it on the table. He leaned back in his chair and watched in amusement as she tried to balance a large mixing bowl under one arm and a loaf of freshly baked bread in the other. She managed to almost make it to the counter when her right arm gave out and the silver bowl went crashing to the floor. A white cloud of flour exploded into the air, covering her entire body from head to toe. By the time he had rushed over to help her, she was almost in tears as she shook the powder from her hair. "Hey, now we'll have none of those. It's just a little flour."

Nadine allowed Nikolas to dust her legs off while she discarded her shirt. There was flour everywhere, and the entire kitchen was a mess. Dropping the dry contents of her dough had set her back at least fifteen minutes given how long it had taken her to sift all the ingredients together. "This is going to be a disaster," she sobbed as Nikolas gently brushed the tears away from her baby blue eyes. He smiled in commiseration and pulled her close in a tight hug, not caring if the flour rubbed off onto his black wool sweater. "I just wanted to do this for you."

Pressing his forehead to hers, Nikolas captured her mouth in a brief kiss, hoping that his affection was enough to swallow her sadness. When he saw that it wasn't, he decided to try a different approach. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you go upstairs and put on another shirt while I clean up the flour," he offered. "When you get back downstairs, you and I can work on making dinner together. You can be the head chef and I'll assist you. We still have plenty of time to get this right as long as you are fully dressed. I can't have you distracting me."

The stubborn part of Nadine wanted to assert that she could do this on her own, but the tears of just a few moments ago clearly showed that she couldn't. She was always trying to do things on her own, and it had never really worked very well for her. In fact, she always seemed to do a lot better when she would let Nikolas help her. Why should dinner for his family be any better? "Okay, I'd like that," she relented, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'll be right back down."

While Nadine headed upstairs to exchange her flour-soaked shirt for a fresh one, Nikolas sat to work sweeping the white powder off the flour. It was only like the third time he had ever used a broom, but he managed to capture most of it by the time she was back downstairs. He'd also rinsed out the bowl, wiped down the counters and laid out most of the ingredients he'd need to mix up another batch of bread dough. "Look who I found!" Nadine announced as she came back into the kitchen. Nikolas looked up and grinned when he found her with Spencer on his hip. "I thought that we could use a little extra help. Since this is a family dinner, why not make the preparation a family affair too?"

"Nadine said that I could help you guys cook, Daddy," Spencer declared proudly as he squirmed free from Nadine's arms and raced around to climb up on the tall stool next to his father. Nikolas helped him onto the counter, reminding him to be careful as he sat on the edge. "What can I do, Nadine? Daddy doesn't let me cut anything or cook anything because he says that I can get hurt. But Mrs. Landsbury lets me mix things up sometimes and Alfred helps me crack eggs."

Pushing the cookbook across the table, Nadine came around to the other side to stand between Nikolas and Spencer. "I'll tell you what, kiddo. Why doesn't your daddy tell you what to measure, and you can pour it into this bowl," she instructed them. "When you get everything in there, you can put into the sifter and turn the handle. Once you finish all of that, I'll show you how to put it in the baking pan and we'll put into the oven."

"Sounds easy enough," Nikolas commented as he scanned over the recipe. Nadine returned to the stovetop to attend to her meatballs while the father and son pair set to work on mixing together everything. She couldn't help but watch them in silent adoration as they worked side by side. Spencer looked so genuinely happy to be doing something so normal, and Nikolas seemed to enjoy doing anything with his son. He peered up at his girlfriend across the kitchen and returned her smile. "What do you think, Nadine? Maybe the three of us should open up a bakery."

"Slow down, Cassadine, you've got a long way to go," she teased. Over the next several minutes, she managed to roll out two-dozen meatballs while the boys finished the dough. Nikolas was able to navigate the process of putting into the oven. Spencer yawned as he jumped down from the counter, wiping his eyes tiredly as he folded himself into a chair at the table. The next time she looked over at him, he was asleep. Nikolas excused himself with a whisper and promised to return once he had put the little boy down for his afternoon nap.

"I love watching you cook," Nikolas complimented her as he came back into the kitchen. He had also changed while he was upstairs, trading out the sweater for a freshly laundered white tee. It was rare that he ever wore anything so casual, but the form-fitting shirt really suited his exemplary physique. His dark wash jeans hung low on his narrow hips, causing Nadine's breath to catch a little. She still hadn't gotten use to how genuinely beautiful a man he was. "But, to be fair, I love watching you do pretty much anything – playing with Spencer, riding our horses, working at the hospital, wrinkling your nose over charts at the clinic. It's kind of this problem I have."

She giggled girlishly as she bent over to put the meatballs into the oven to make. Looking around the kitchen, she realized that everything was on schedule, and now, she only had to wait for things to bake, boil and simmer. Nadine wiped her hands off on a towel and jumped up on the counter facing Nikolas. "Well, I guess I should probably admit that I like you watching me then," she confessed. She always loved the feeling she got when she knew his eyes were on her. "This was nice today, cooking with you. I know it's a little domesticated for you, but it is something that I like to do. I used to help my aunt cook all the time when I was a kid. I used to look forward to Saturday afternoons. She had this old wooden stepladder she kept folded beside the fridge. I would stand on the top step and help her mix up all sorts of things in her tiny little kitchen. Some of my favorite childhood memories were in that kitchen."

"I always wanted to help the staff make breakfast or dust all the sculptures we had in the library or even pull weeds out in the garden," he admitted. Nikolas slipped off his stool and came around to her side of the counter. Moving between her slightly parted thighs, he wrapped his hands around her waist while she threaded her hands behind his neck. "My uncle always told me that I needed to remember my place. I was the prince, and they were the help. He insisted that such 'menial' tasks were below me, but I still wanted to help. I wanted to do something that was so everyday, so normal."

"That's why I think it's so great that you do these kinds of things with Spencer. You know what you missed out on growing up, and you're determined not to let him do the same," she praised him. "You know that there is more to life than the confines of these four walls and this beautiful estate. You've made sure that Spencer has been all over the world to see what it's like for people from all walks of life. You're not your uncle, Nikolas. I didn't know him, so I'm not saying that he wasn't a good father to you. You're just your own man, a man that I happen to be crazy in love with."

He loved the way that she saw him. She was one of the few people in Port Charles capable of separating him from the insanity that had preceded him. She didn't compare him to Stefan, Stavros, Helena or any of the other Cassadines that had made it so hard for people to see him as human. When Nadine looked at him, she only saw him. "The feeling is mutual." Nadine tightened her grip on his neck and pulled him closer to her. Nikolas moved further into her thighs, pressing his torso against her body as they joined together in an intense kiss. Heat radiated through his jeans and straight to her skin, nearly burning her from the sparks flying between them. His hands slid around her waist and to the hem of her shirt. He lifted it slightly to allow his fingers to traverse the silky path of her bare skin. She moaned against his mouth and fisted his shirt hungrily. "I sent the staff out for the rest of the day," he managed between gasps of air. "Spencer is down for his nap, we're all alone."

Nadine reached down and peeled off her thermal shirt to reveal her black lacy bra. Nikolas barely had any time to appreciate the view before she lunged at him hungrily. Her fingers reached down for his belt and unbuckled it without breaking the kiss. "Now," she insisted, pressing down on the hem of his jeans. Nikolas licked his lips in anticipation as he stepped out of his jeans and tore off his shirt. Nadine grinned at him devilishly as he repeated the routine of removing her own faded jeans. He moved back between her legs and captured her lips in a lustful kiss while his fingers expertly worked over the fastener of her bra.

Wanting to tempt him for a second longer, Nadine allowed him to slide the straps down over her toned arms before crossing her hands over her chest in feigned shyness. Nikolas' eyes danced wildly, enjoying her coy little act. He reached up and slowly pried her fingers away, only to replace them with his own. He worked his hands over her supple skin, murmuring his plans for her softly in his ear as he teased her. Nadine bit her bottom lip as she threw her head back, arching her body further into his palms. "Oh, do you like that?" he asked innocently, his voice low and rough. She frantically nodded her head and begged him softly for more. He willingly obliged her with one hand while moving the other over her body and beneath the top of her panties. "What about this?"

"Yes," she choked out, her word stunted by her building desire. Brown eyes crashed with blue as he inched his hand along her body, pressing her panties down her legs and over her ankles. She eyed his boxers, indicating that they too needed to go. When they lay on the Spanish tile floor with the rest of their clothing, she pulled him back into her arms and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. Nikolas lifted her up slightly so that their bodies connected. Her ankle pressed into the small of his back as they began to move as one. "Nikolas…"

He smiled into the crook of her neck as he pressed into her, reveling in the way she said his name. He knew what she was asking, what she wanted from him, but he wasn't quite ready to give it to her yet. "What do you want, Nadine?" he taunted into her ear. She moaned an incoherent answer as she bucked against his hips. "You have to tell me. Say it."

"Dammit," she cursed, the words slipping from the corner of her wet lips as she raked her fingers through his hair. He slowed his pace, teasing her because he knew that she was at the brink. "Please, Nikolas." Her plea was answered with a shake of the head and slightly faster movement. The back of her calves slammed against the strong muscles of his lower back as they came crashing together over and over again. "Nik, I need you."

Nikolas knew that he had her exactly where he wanted her, begging for their mutual release. "All you have to do is say the words," he informed her evenly. By this point, he wanted it just as much as she did, but he was determined to win this round. He wasn't going to give in until she said the words.

With mounting frustration and an overwhelming need to crash over the edge coursing through her body, she grabbed both sides of his face and looked straight into his eyes. "Come with me," she insisted, her voice emanating with need and desire. He brushed a quick kiss over her lips before picking the pace up again. Her eyes fell shut as he moved against her, their bodies never losing contact. Everything became warm and hazy as he drew her toward the brink, and then, with one last thrust and a deep groan, they both went crashing over the edge.

He held onto her tightly as she shuddered against him, their limbs entwined as they slowly came down from their mutual high. A sleepy smile played across her lips before she rewarded him with a sweet kiss. They were both slick with sweat, but neither of them made a move to disconnect their bodies. "You know we're going to have to disinfect this counter before we do anymore cooking," he joked as he tried to catch his breath. She laughed into his shoulder, dropping a kiss on his salty shoulder.

"I have to tell you that I just don't care," she muttered as he covered her collarbone with a shower of tiny kisses. His mouth worked expertly over her throat until he found his way to her lips again. "I've never done that before."

"Well, now I know that can't be true," he teased. "In fact, I remember doing something very much like that upstairs in my room a few days ago…and in your apartment the other night…and in the back of the limo after Patrick gave you clearance…and then again that same day in my bed when we got home… Actually, as I recall, we've done that quite a lot this week."

Nadine shoved him playfully. "You know what I mean," she chuckled. "I've never done that before in a kitchen. I think it worked out pretty well. I'd have to say that we did ourselves pretty proud there."

Nikolas nodded in agreement before brushing another kiss over her mouth. He was always like this after they made love. He loved being this close to her and relished the aftermath kisses when they were both completely satisfied and still connected. "Me neither, actually," he confessed, "but it's definitely something I've thought about."

"Oh, really?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow. Nadine had long made peace with the fact that Nikolas had very likely made love to Emily in nearly every inch of Wyndamere. That was what she liked about her – their – apartment. It was a place that was all their own, somewhere completely free of memories of lovers past. It made her smile to know that there was a place here that could be just theirs. Maybe it was silly to feel like that, but it made her feel even more special. "Well, I'm glad that I could help make that little fantasy come true."

"Oh, me too," he agreed before moving out of her embrace and retrieving his boxers and jeans from the floor. He handed over her panties and his tee shirt, a routine that they had quickly settled into since they'd begun sleeping together. Since their first time together, he loved seeing her in his shirt afterwards. "We better get dressed. Alexis and the girls will be here in less than two hours."

Nadine slid off the counter and stepped into her jeans before ambling over to the oven to check on the food. Everything looked perfect and still had more than a half-hour to cook. "It looks like everything is set here," she announced as she walked backward toward the staircase. "Why don't you come upstairs and help me shower? It'd help save me some time if you wash my back." Grabbing her hand, Nikolas laughed as they raced up the stairs, knowing full well that there was a good chance their dinner just might turn out burnt.


	26. Chapter 26

The loud echo of a dropped fork clanging against the fine china plate filled the rafters of the grand dining room at Wyndamere, causing four adults to avert their uncomfortable gazes from their dinner to the pair of little girls sitting at the furthest end of the long mahogany table. Kristina smiled up at her fellow dinner guests with a toothy grin before glancing apologetically at her mother. As one of the youngest heirs to the Cassadine fortune, even she understood the importance of table manners. Much like Alexis and Nikolas before her, she had been taught the basics of etiquette from an early age and had come to be known in her playgroups for her proper social behavior in any and all situations. Molly, on the other hand, was much more of a wildcard like her father, forever daring to push the limits until their mother would narrow her eyes at her disapprovingly when she started to act up in public.

"I'm sorry," Kristina apologized politely as she lifted the sterling silver from the plate and brought the small bite of salad greens to her mouth. Nikolas nodded silently across from her before taking another bite of the pasta. "Mommy, I am full. May I please be excused to go upstairs and play with Spencer?"

Alexis looked over at her daughter's half-empty plate, wondering if she should try to convince her to take a few more bites or just allow her to run off and play with her cousin. "Yes, you may," she replied with a firm nod. Molly asked for the same permission, although her question was a little more improper. When both the girls had bound up the staircase, the four adults exchanged amused smiles before going back to their dinner. "Nadine, this food is really quite good. I can't believe that you made all of this from scratch. I can barely boil water, let alone make my own pasta. In fact, before I had the girls, I basically lived off coffee and microwave popcorn. It was only when I started working for Sonny and got to experience his gourmet cooking that I even gained an appreciation for how good food can be."

Nadine smiled at Nikolas' aunt as she served herself another piece of homemade bread. "Growing up on our own like we did, Jolene and I learned to cook at an early age from my aunt. I can show you how to make a few dishes some time if you would like," she offered. "Or if you're not interested, maybe the girls would like to learn something. Spencer has been begging me to let him cook more, so it might be nice if they could all do it together."

"That sounds like a lovely idea,' Alexis reasoned. "I am kind of a walking disaster when it comes to all things domestic, but surely my girls got something from their fathers. Both Ric and Sonny are actually pretty good in the kitchen. I bet they'd love to learn how to cook with you and Spencer."

To her left, an uncomfortable Sam poured yet another glass of dark red wine. As the rich cabernet slid down her throat, she couldn't help but wonder what she was doing here. She was a Cassadine only by birthright. Since her break-up with Lucky, she hadn't exactly been close to her cousin. They had almost had some semblance of a relationship a few months ago when they had been investigating the counterfeit drug ring together, but all of that had gone out the window the more involved Nikolas became with Nadine and the further apart she grew from Lucky. Now that he was going yet another round with Elizabeth, Sam knew that the four of them were spending a lot of time together. She had observed Elizabeth and Nadine whispering across the table at Kelly's yesterday and gossiping idly at the nurse's station the day before. Sam longed for that kind of relationship with any woman – someone that she could call a true girlfriend. Instead, she felt like an outsider sitting around the dinner table with her own family.

"So, Sam, what have you been up to?" Nadine asked suddenly, turning to face the beautiful brunette. She had such a genuine smile on her face that Sam couldn't help but want to open up to her about everything. She wanted to confide that she missed Lucky, that she wished that they were still investigating Jerry Jacks together, that she had liked hanging out with Nikolas and Nadine. "I feel like we haven't really gotten to see you that much since the night of the fire. I wanted to invite you to lunch, but Nikolas kept me on a short leash while I was recovering. I took Spencer to have lunch yesterday with Elizabeth and the boys yesterday, and I think that was really the first social interaction I've really gotten to have. Other than that, I didn't see anyone when I wasn't going to the hospital for check-ups."

Sam blushed sheepishly as she listened to Nadine explain herself. She hadn't asked for an explanation, but the kind blonde had offered one up without even being asked. "I'm sure that he just wanted to make sure that you were 100 percent before he let you be around anyone," Sam commiserated before smiling widely at Nikolas. The handsome prince nodded in agreement as his eyes fluttered from his cousin to his girlfriend. Sam couldn't help but notice the adoration that dwelled in the chocolate pools as he watched Nadine. "Anyhow, I haven't really been up to much. I've been trying to look for some salvage work. Nothing terribly exciting, I'm afraid."

"Are you kidding me?" Nadine shrieked enthusiastically. A slight country twang was apparent in her excited voice as she thought about the wild adventures of life on a big ship. "I always wanted to learn how to captain a boat, but my aunt always thought it was too dangerous. We used to take those tiny speed boats out on the lakes with some of the neighborhood boys back in high school. She'd always get so mad at us."

"Well, if you come out with me some time, I would love to show you how to steer one of those big rigs," Sam offered with a chuckle. Of all the things she thought she could offer to Nadine, the last thing on her mind had been salvage work. Yet, it almost made sense because it was the one place where Sam felt most at ease and like herself. She tried to avoid her mother's taken aback stare as she imagined what it would be like hanging out with Nadine, knocking back beers on the deck while they sailed around the harbor. "It's not the most glamorous thing, but I think it's a lot more fun than shopping."

Nikolas cleared his throat as he pushed his plate away. Nadine knew immediately that he didn't approve and even sooner that she didn't care what he thought. There were very few dreams left that she wanted to fulfill, and learning to drive a boat was one of them. "Don't you even start," she warned him with pursed lips. Nadine jutted her chin defiantly, daring him to forbid her to do anything. Nikolas had learned by then, however, to just keep his thoughts to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was risk her getting hurt, but he knew that he had nothing to gain by protesting her ambition. "I think that sounds like a great idea. I would love to go out and sail with you."

"I have an even better idea," Nikolas proposed. "Why don't all of us take my yacht out into the harbor this Sunday? Sam can still teach you how to drive the boat, and I will feel better knowing that you're on a safe vessel. I know that you are both independent women that can take care of yourselves, but I love both of you. Call me overprotective if you want, but I just don't want to have to go through watching either of you fight for your life in a hospital bed again any time soon."

Alexis reached over and covered her daughter's hand. "Listen to your cousin. He's got a good idea for once," she teased before looking appreciatively at Nadine. She understood that the shift in Nikolas' demeanor could be greatly attributed to the independent streak in the nurse. It had been a long time since she had seen her nephew care about someone so fiercely and unapologetically as he did Nadine. His first priorities were Spencer and Nadine. Not since he'd lost Emily had she seen him so focused on something so positive. "I think that sounds like a great idea. We haven't really been spending very much time together as a family lately. I'd like to get to spend some time with both of my nephews and this beautiful woman over here that they're both so crazy about."

Nadine blushed deeply as Nikolas leaned over and kissed her temple. She turned her head to smile at him before sliding her hand into his. "Nik, can you help me clear the table? I still have dessert to set out. Alexis, you will not want to miss this," she assured the lawyer before rising to carry the empty plates into the kitchen. He followed her obediently with assorted flatware and cups in hand. As the heavy door swung shut to give them some privacy, he quickly discarded them on the counter to pull her into his arms. "I was serious about that food, Cassadine."

"I know you were," he avowed between kisses. She giggled at his boyish affection, allowing herself to relish the moment only slightly, before disentangling from his embrace. "Thank you for not fighting with me about the boat thing back there."

"Thank you for coming up with a compromise that works for both of us," she retorted as she dished out the dessert into the clear glass dishes. Nikolas added fresh whipped cream to each bowl before sliding them onto the serving tray. "I really like Sam and feel bad that she has kind of been left out of everything since she broke up with Lucky. I love Elizabeth, I really do, but Sam is your family, too. I want to be friends with her because she matters to you. More importantly, I like her. She's fun and tenacious. I feel like I can be the country tomboy that I still am when I'm around her. Elizabeth and Leyla get the more girly part."

He listened to her talk about her newfound friendship with an appreciation that had gone unnoticed before. He had always loved the fact that she cared so much about his son, but he was truly beginning to see how she had spread that same care to the other people in his life. She had successfully built friendships with Lucky and Elizabeth, relationships that had actually managed to strengthen his own bonds with them. She encouraged him to keep in touch with Monica. Now, she was reminding him how important it was to spend time with Alexis and the girls, and wanted to become friends with Sam. Not many people had gone so far for him, but he was beginning to fully see that there wasn't a limit to what Nadine would do for him.

Reaching down, he gently pried the serving spoon from her hand and pulled her back into his arms. She went so willingly into his comforting embrace, easily forgetting the task at hand. His chin rested on the crown of her head as she tucked her cheek against his chest. "I want us to go home to Texas," he murmured confidentially. "I want to see all these places that you talk about and what you're like in your natural element. Your eyes light up whenever you talk about home. I want to see all the places behind those stories."

He had talked to her about this before but never in a way where she thought it might actually happen. As a little girl, she had dreamt about having a prince sweep her off her feet in the fields of wildflowers that ran on the outskirts or town. To be fair, her visions had often included faded Wranglers and dusty boots, two things likely to never be emulated by Nikolas Cassadine. "Maybe I could get you a Stetson," she pondered softly as she ran her fingers over his defined chest. "You'd look good in a hat."

Images of Nadine in a breezy sundress and bare feet danced in his head before he brought his gaze back to her beaming face. "If it makes you smile like that, you can count me in," he agreed. "We should get back in there to our guests."

"We should," she concurred but not making a move to go. She wrapped her arms around his body and moved to her tiptoes to brush a kiss over his mouth before regretfully pulling away. She handed him the tray, straightened her slightly askew top and walked back into the dining room. "I hope you like this. It's my own recipe."

Sam eyed the delicious sugary concoction greedily before taking a big bite. She complimented Nadine kindly as the three kids came tumbling down the stairs. Spencer was so excited that he could barely get the words out. "Daddy, Kristina and Molly want me to come over and spend the night. They're going to the carnival tomorrow at Kristina's school!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Can I please, please, please?"

Nikolas exchanged an amused look with his aunt, who only nodded her permission. "If you would like to, that is fine with me," he agreed. "You will have to promise to be on your best behavior though."

The little boy promised that he would as his youngest cousin let out a sizable yawn. Alexis reached down and scooped her daughter into her arms, laying a gentle kiss on Molly's forehead. "Actually, it's getting kind of late, and Molly needs to get some rest if we are going to make it to the school tomorrow," she declared. "Nikolas, just so you don't worry, Viola and Sam will be with us, so we'll be able to more than handle it."

Nadine laid a hand on Nikolas' forearm and spoke up for him. "He isn't worried. Nik, can you help them get their stuff together while I take Spencer upstairs to pack a bag for him?" Spencer reluctantly took the last bite of the chocolate dessert before following her dutifully toward the stares.

Just as they disappeared out of sight, Nikolas saw his son slip his tiny hand in Nadine's. They almost looked like mother and son. Apparently the sight wasn't lost on Alexis either. She watched her nephew for a prolonged moment as he stared after the two of them. Sam excused herself to take Molly and Kristina to the car, giving the two Cassadines a moment alone. "She's good with him."

"Yeah, I told you," he grinned at Alexis. "I love her, ya know? She infuriates me sometimes, she challenges me constantly. I never know what she is going to say or what she's going to do. I'm always striving to be a better person because I want to be the man that she sees in me. Most of all, she loves me and she loves my son. Alexis, I think she might be the one…"

His aunt held her hand up in front of her to slow him down. "Nikolas, you guys haven't been together that long. I am very happy that you are letting yourself feel these things again, but you can't rush it. It hasn't even been a year since you lost Emily. I think it's okay to let yourself have some time."

He shook his head with a confident smile. "Don't you see?" he asked rhetorically. "Emily is exactly the reason that I shouldn't let the time past me by. We thought we had an entire lifetime to spend together, but she died. It sounds so blunt when I put it that way, but that's what happened. I don't know what tomorrow holds for Nadine and me, I just know that I want us to have that. I don't want to give myself time when I know what I need now…what I want. I want to be with her forever, whether that is one more day or fifty years."

Nikolas was stopped short when Spencer burst back in the room. His eyes flew to a sheepish Nadine, her cheeks slightly pink from embarrassment at being caught. He knew that she hadn't meant to overhear him but she had. Rather than addressing the situation right away, he knelt down and hugged his son tightly. "Be good for Aunt Alexis. We'll be over to get you tomorrow afternoon," he promised before hugging him again. "Go tell Nadine bye."

The little boy sprinted over to the blonde nurse and threw his arms around her. She lifted him up and looked him straight in the eye. "You heard your father. I expect a full report of how much you have fun with your cousins tomorrow."

"I will," he promised as she sat him back down on the ground. "Bye Daddy, Bye Nadine!"

"Goodbye," Alexis echoed as she kissed her nephew on the cheek. She tucked her black leather clutch under her arm before coming over to Nadine. The two women exchanged a hug, all the awkwardness of earlier in the evening long gone. "Nadine, it's been a pleasure. I'm not sure what you're doing to put that brilliant smile on my nephew's face but please keep it up. I've never seen him this happy."

Nadine and Nikolas walked Spencer and Alexis to the door and watched as their chauffeured limousine swept out of the gate and onto the winding access road. Once the door was closed behind them, Nikolas called to the kitchen staff to have them take care of the dishes while Nadine retired to the sitting room. He came in to find her curled up in an armchair by the window, an afghan pulled around her shoulders like a shawl. She was staring vacantly out at the water as she lost herself in her thoughts. Nikolas watched her from the doorway for a few moments before coming over to where she sat. "Hey, you."

"Hi," she smiled. She moved over in the chair just enough to let him sit beside her and pulled the blanket over their laps. He wrapped his arms around her instinctively as she leaned into his body. "We don't have to talk about what you said to Alexis."

"We can if you want," he offered. "I meant what I said Nadine, you know that you've changed my life. It's not at all what I thought it would be a year ago, but for the first time, I'm okay with that. This is what was supposed to happen, I think. I won't pretend to understand why, but you were meant to happen to me."

"A year ago, I was just some gawky girl who didn't quite fit in at your grand ball. I was still trying to make up for what my sister did, and I didn't have a friend in this entire city other than Spinelli. Then I met you and my whole world changed," she acknowledged. "It's a scary thing, Cassadine, to see your entire future wrapped up two people."

"Two people?"

"Spencer and you," she retorted. "All I want is a life with you."

"You can have that if you want," he promised. "One day or fifty years, you're my forever."

She blushed again before looking down at their hands. Without her even realizing it, they had entangled their friends together into an intricate web. "I'm not ready to get married."

"We don't have to. I just need to know that I'm your forever."

"I'll do you one better," she declared. "This family is my forever – you, me, Spencer and whatever other kids happen to get thrown into the mix. This is our forever. Deal?"

"Deal," he said as they sealed their pact with a kiss.


	27. Chapter 27

"Nikolas Cassadine, you better let me take this blindfold off right this minute. You don't know these roads, you need me to navigate," Nadine demanded impatient, tugging uselessly on the sturdy knot keeping the black silk handkerchief securely over her cornflower blue eyes. She let out a frustrated grunt and threw her hands in the air before throwing herself back against the leather seat. "Would you at least give me a clue? I am supposed to be showing you around."

Laughter echoed deep in Nikolas' chest as he glanced sidelong at his girlfriend. He reached over and grabbed her hand. They had been in Texas for three days now, and he had liked living in her world. Things were much simpler here, miles away from anyone and everything they knew. He had enjoyed watching her danced around in the meadow of wildflowers in her favorite sundress, laughing as the silky grass tickled her bare feet. She had taken him horseback riding through the trails that wound around the bed and breakfast where they were staying and to a few favorite haunts from her high school days. Nadine had even managed to coax him to go wading in the creek with her despite the chilly water. Of course, using her body to warm him up as an incentive had made the task pretty easy, but he had still liked just doing something so normal that he had missed out on as a kid.

"You haven't let me plan a single thing so far, so I thought that I would take a little initiative," he declared before turning the luxury truck off the main highway and onto the quiet gravel road leading them to their final destination. It had taken a little digging to find this place, but thanks to a persistent research assistant at Cassadine Industries, he had managed to find exactly what he was looking for. "Besides, if I tell you now, I'm going to miss the look in your eyes when you finally see your surprise. Trust me, I'm only doing it for that look."

A slow smile spread across her lips as she moved closer to Nikolas on the bench seat. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he managed to negotiate the steering wheel and hold onto her at the same time. The two of them had decided to come to Texas alone this time around with a promise to bring Spencer when they returned in the spring. Nikolas had wanted a little time away from Port Charles with Nadine, and this was their first time going away together. She had made sure that every detail was perfect, from planning their travel arrangements with his agent at the company to finding the right accommodations. It was a simple, cozy hotel with just a dozen rooms, mostly couples taking the weekend away from their children. None of them had any idea that he was a wealthy billionaire or that she was a neurotic nurse. In fact, no one here knew anything about them. To their fellow guests in Texas, they were just a young couple that appeared to be madly in love with each other.

Nikolas reached forward and flipped on the radio. Nadine started to hum along to the familiar country song instantly, her sweet voice filling the small cab of the truck. As he took another turn, she stopped singing and turned her head to look up at him. "Hey, Nik?"

The truck slowed down to let a tractor cross between fields, and Nikolas turned to tilt her chin so that she was looking in the right direction. She turned her face instinctively to rest in his palm. It was a small, sweet moment that Nikolas was determined to remember. He had been taking mental snapshots during their entire visit to Texas and cementing the memories in his mind. He had never seen her this happy or free. She had barely even rambled since she had been home. "Hmmm?"

"I love you," she murmured, reaching up timidly in search of his face. He reached for her fingertips and guided them to his rough cheeks. The pads of her thumb traced over his unshaved jaw line. She tilted her mouth up in anticipation as he swooped down to meet her. A ragged moan escaped past her lips and into his mouth. When he had swallowed every ounce of air from her lungs, he pulled away and pulled the blindfold up slightly so that he could see her intense azure eyes. "Hey, you."

"Hi," he whispered back before leaning into kiss her again. The corners of her lips curved up into a smile as she inched toward him, her hands wandering down to his jean-clad thighs. He knew how easily they could get out of control and that he could have her pinned beneath his body within a matter of seconds. However, he hadn't brought her all the way into the country just to make love to her. He really was after that delicious twinkle she got in her eyes whenever she was really and truly happy. He knew that his surprise would guarantee that he got what he'd come for. Nikolas reluctantly pulled away and yanked the silk sash back over her eyes. "Nice try, honey, but you're not going to find out until we get there."

Crossing her arms over her chest in defeat, Nadine muttered under her breath and tried to ignore the pounding of her racing heart. She hadn't exactly intended to seduce the truth out of Nikolas, but if he just happened to let it slip in the throes of passion, she wouldn't have really minded. "How much longer?"

"I love you, too," he simply retorted, answering her sentiment earlier. It was only a few more miles to their destination, but he wasn't about to tell her that. He wanted her to anticipate this as much as he had since he'd started planning it. The truck crossed over a one-lane bridge that ran over a small creek and then turned into a long private drive. Tall oak trees lumbered overhead on both sides of the rocky path, casting a shadowy ceiling above them. Nikolas turned the truck back toward the road before throwing it into park. Finally, he reached for the knot of the blindfold and carefully lowered it from her eyes. "Surprise."

A barely audible gasp was the only reaction Nikolas was given as her eyes widened on the beautiful scenery around them. She looked at him aghast, her jaw dropped as she tried to find her voice again. Leaves of bright scarlet and deep gold and burnt orange littered the still green grass around a simple white clapboard house. A wraparound porch hugged the exterior of the house with the ornate oak front door set perfectly in the middle. "How did you…"

"I have my ways," he announced as he slipped out of the truck. He reached for her hand and dragged her out of the truck. Nadine looked up at the house in amazement, trying to remember how many years it had been since she had stood in this very spot. Her hand found Nikolas as she clung to him tightly, trying to take in all the familiar smells and sounds at once. "When you told me that you wanted to come home, I really wanted you to go home. I wanted you to show me the place where you grew up."

Nadine felt Nikolas transfer a small piece of metal from his palm to hers. She lifted the key and inspected it curiously. After all this time, she couldn't believe that she was going to have the chance to go inside her childhood home. This was the place where Aunt Raylene had taught her how to cook, Jolene had chased her up and down the stairs, Matty Tompkins had kissed her after homecoming and Sheriff Wilkins had dropped her off when she'd had one too many drinks the night of graduation. Without waiting for Nikolas, she sprinted toward the front door and slid the key into the lock. She opened the door and headed into the living room anxiously. It was a little different from when they had lived there, but it pretty much still looked like the same house.

He followed her into the cozy kitchen as she rushed toward the pantry. Nadine ran her finger along the smooth trim, grinning as she looked at the penciled numbers lining the pale yellow wall. "She used to measure us every year on our birthday," she told Nikolas, showing him where her aunt had kept their measurements. "Afterward, she would make our favorite cake and dinner. I always had strawberry cake with strawberry icing. Jolene liked chocolate cake with fudge frosting."

Taking his hand, she pulled him toward the back staircase that led to the pair of bedrooms that had belonged to her and her sister. "Jolene liked this room because it overlooked the road. She used to lean as far out the window as she could just so that she could hear the cars passing by," she remembered. The walls in this room were a light lavender with white trim. A small desk sat in the corner opposite a child's canopy bed. "This is the same bed she had growing up. I guess the current owners didn't get rid of everything."

Up until now, she hadn't thought about the fact that someone actually owned the house. She wondered how Nikolas had gotten hold of the key but knew that he wouldn't likely tell her. Rather than question him, she just led him across the hallway to her bedroom. Tears sprang to her eyes as she took in the room where all of her childhood memories and dreams were stored. "I liked this room because I could sneak out and sit on the roof. Jolene was always too scared but not me." Nikolas grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the window. Crawling out ahead of her, he helped her step out carefully so that she could sit on the black shingles. He managed to sit behind her and wrapped his legs and arms around her. Leaning back against him, she smiled up at him over her shoulder. Nikolas leaned down and kissed her briefly before straightening back up. "I'd sit out here for hours and dream of the day when I would live in New York City. I loved Texas, but growing up in this little town made me want to get a million miles away sometimes."

"I know that feeling very well. In fact, substitute Greece for Texas and you just described my entire childhood," he replied. Nadine started to point out different features of the sizable backyard, including the nearby barn where she'd broken her arm in the fourth grade after she jumped from the hayloft. She also told him about the patch of grass where they had kept the garden in the summer and the small metal shed that had housed their bicycles. "You really are a country girl."

"Born and bred!" she exclaimed proudly, a wide grin taking up her entire face. He smoothed her hair back affectionately. "I love Port Charles, don't get me wrong, but this will always be where I come from. It's my roots, part of my insides."

Nikolas almost wished that he felt a deep connection to a place, but most of his devotions were rooted in people. Besides his son, he was tethered to Lucky and Lulu as well as Alexis and the girls. Now, he had Nadine, a woman whose life was completely entwined with his. "I actually have one more surprise for you," he confessed, pulling out a single piece of white paper that had been folded in half a few times. He had really thought hard before making this decision because he knew that it had the potential to blow up in his face. She could so easily be offended by what he did, but he wanted to do it for her. "Here, look at this."

She took the piece of paper from him and unfolded it carefully. He watched her eyes scan the page, widening and then squinting as she took in each word of the typed text. "Does this say what I think it says?" she asked rhetorically. Nadine was looking up at him now with a look on her face he'd never seen before. He couldn't tell how she felt about this. "Did you buy me this house?"

He nodded slowly as he pointed out the place where the owner was listed on the deed. He'd put the house in her name because even if they weren't together for the rest of their lives, he wanted her to have this place to come home to. "It belongs with you, with your family. You love this house. I just wanted to give the woman I loved something she loved."

"Nikolas," she shook her head. She felt frustrated that he was always doing these grand gestures and wanted to be mad at him for doing something this big without asking. However, as she looked into his chocolate eyes and thought about the fact that he'd just bought her childhood home simply to see her smile, she couldn't help but grin. "You are so going to get lucky later."

"Oh, really?" he teased with a chuckle. She nodded cheekily at him and winked as he turned her around in his arms. Pressing his forehead to hers, he reached up to play with the wisps of blonde hair framing her face. Nadine read the hunger in his gaze and pressed her palms against his chest before diving in for his mouth. They wrestled for control as she maneuvered him onto his back and covered his body with the entire length of her lean frame. "I've never done this on a roof. Maybe we should…"

"Shut up?" she suggested between kisses, her fingers working his belt buckle white her lips worked his mouth. She stood up, smoothed her skirt and stepped out of her panties, tossing them to the side before unbuckling his corduroy trousers. They couldn't get completely undressed because the farm wasn't completely private, but Nadine could find ways to work around that. Nikolas gasped as she stood straddling his body and settled herself onto his lap. Guiding her by the waist, they began to move in sync, her body against his. Every once in awhile, she would let the stray curse word or strained moan of encouragement slip. Nikolas buried his face in her chest as she threw her head back in delicious bliss.

As their breaths became more and more ragged, Nikolas increased the speed so that her body was bucking against his. He held her tightly against his chest, wanting them to stay locked together as they rode out the waves of mutual pleasure together. She called out his name, begging for release until finally he gave in. As they came down from their high, he kept their bodies entwined and rolled them over so that they were lying on their sides.

When a few minutes of silence had passed, Nikolas laid soft kisses over both of her eyelids and lips. "You okay?" he asked, as he often did after they'd made love. She liked that he was always so protective and aware of her feelings. Nadine promised that she was fine as he slid from her body and helped her sit up. "That was…wow."

"Yeah," she laughed nervously. She had never been this adventurous with any other man, but sometimes, Nikolas would just do something to inspire her. "I just wanted to show you how appreciative I was of your kind and wonderful gift. It's not everyday that a girl gets her childhood home handed to her on a proverbial silver platter."

"Anything to make you smile."

"Well, you might want to look in the mirror, buddy, because I am not the only one who is smiling here," she pointed out. Nikolas had a very pleased grin plastered on his handsome face, one that she was proud to know she had put there. "I can't wait to bring Spencer down here. He'll love the farm."

Nikolas nodded in agreement as his eyes swept over the impressive backyard. He was actually surprised by how at home he felt here considering it was unlike anywhere else he'd ever been. Maybe it was having her there or hearing all her stories, but he just felt safe here. "Maybe we could invite Lucky and Liz to bring down the boys. We could make a week of it," he thought aloud. "I'm sure that Alexis would love to bring Kristina and Molly here, too. She's always talking about taking them to the country."

"I can't imagine Alexis in Texas," Nadine confessed. She would probably show up with her Starbucks travel cup in one hand and BlackBerry in the other. "Then again, I never thought that you would fit here so well."

"Ah, does that mean I get my honorary Stetson soon?"

"Hold on there, Tex," she laughed. "You have to work your way up to that one."

Laughing to himself as he buckled his belt, Nikolas helped Nadine stand up and crawled back into the house. She finished giving him a tour of the house, filling each room with years of stories. When they finally came back downstairs into the living room, she sat down on the red velvet couch in the middle of the room and pulled him down with her. "I'm really glad that we came to Texas, but I'm happy that this trip is almost over," she confessed. "It's a good thing we're going back to Port Charles tomorrow because I miss Spencer."

Nikolas felt his heart swell at her little admission. Up until their little escapade on the roof, he had been thinking about what his little boy was missing out on here and what they were missing out on by not having him there. "Me too," he agreed, "but I'm still glad we came on our own. We needed this time alone."

"Yes, we did," she concurred with a kiss. They had grown much closer during their little jaunt to Texas, something she wasn't sure was even possible. For the first time, Nadine had let herself think that she might have a future with Nikolas that extended beyond the next few months. In fact, last night as they'd sat at dinner, she'd actually thought that they just might actually get married. However, she knew that it had just been a year since Emily died, and she couldn't rush things. They were still so new, and no matter how right her heart insisted that this was, she couldn't be the one to take it there. It needed to be his idea, and all she could do was trust that it would come. "Let's go home."


	28. Chapter 28

The fiercely bitter autumn wind roared, blowing the heavy rain sideways across the smooth surface of a windshield as a small silver sedan made its way along a quiet road just on the outskirts of Port Charles. Nadine pressed down on the accelerator pedal, silently praying to herself that she could make it to the bridge before the relentless thunderstorm got any worse. She was already a half hour later than she had thought she would be. It was Halloween night, and the children in the pediatrics wing had been saddened to see their favorite nurse try to slip out of the hospital on time. Nadine was always willing to spend a few extra minutes after her shift to read to one of the kid's or finish a braid. However, on this particular night, she had promised a very enthusiastic little boy that she would be on time so that they could dress up like The Three Bears and go trick-or-treating.

"Come on, come on," she pushed herself, slowing down slightly as she zoomed down a hill. The road was wet and she could see water on the pavement just at the crest of the next valley. Biting down on her bottom lip, she squinted to focus on the silvery street and tried to put the sounds of crashing thunder out of her head. A bolt of lighting streaked across the ominous black sky, briefly illuminating the trees that lined either side of the road. Nadine usually enjoyed the drive from General Hospital to Spoon Island but not tonight. Tonight, she just wanted to be within the safe and dry confines of Wyndamere with the men that she loved. Just a few more miles and she would be there.

Somewhere from the deep confines of her oversized tote bag, she could hear the jubilant melody of her cell phone ringing. Nadine could tell by the tone that it was Nikolas but didn't want to risk trying to answer it given the conditions. He had been quiet this morning at breakfast and hadn't answered when she had called to check in with him at dinner. He'd been on her mind all day, and she just wanted to get home so that she could find out what was plaguing him. With the one-year anniversary of Emily's death upon them like an unwelcomed friend, she knew that he was on edge. He had been for days. She tried to play it coolly and not pressure him into talking about it unless he wanted to, which he didn't.

Nadine could hardly believe that it had been a year since that magical and tragic night at Wyndamere. The Black & White Ball had started off splendidly, with everyone in Port Charles that mattered dressed in crisp white and elegant black threads. She had seen, _really_ seen, Nikolas for the first time that night as he waltzed around the beautiful ballroom with Emily in his arms. Even then, she had dreamt that he would hold her like that someday. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty as she smiled at the thought, knowing that someone had to lose their life for her to have that dream come true. Sometimes she wondered if Nikolas would give her up if it meant having Emily back. Nadine didn't want to know what or who he would choose. It didn't matter. Life had a funny way of happening, and she had to believe that this was the way it was all supposed to go.

As she went over the next hill, she heard her cell phone start to blare again. It was the third time he had tried to call her since she had left the hospital, and he was probably starting to worry. Nadine leaned slightly across the seat and pulled her bag close to her so that she could dig for her phone. It always ended up in the bottom of the tote, no matter how hard she tried to make sure to keep it within reach. Keeping her eyes on the road, she managed to rifle through the papers and toys and clothes and retrieve her tiny silver cell. "Hey, I'm almost home," she greeted him without saying hello. Nikolas' relieved sigh came from the other end, causing her to smile to herself. "Sorry, I didn't want to answer it while I was driving, but I figured you were getting worried."

"It's just with the weather being so bad, I wanted to make sure that you were on your way home before it gets too much worse. Spencer is disappointed, but I think the storm's just too bad to take him out," Nikolas retorted. He knew that both Nadine and Spencer had been looking forward to tonight, but the cautious father in him just couldn't take the risk. "I promised him that we could make a frozen pizza and zone out together on the couch. I thought we'd make popcorn later and watch a movie or something. It's not everyday that I let my son eat junk food."

It was true. When she had first started staying at Wyndamere, there hadn't been a frozen pizza, bag of chips or package of microwave popcorn to be found in the entire mansion. However, thanks to her listmaking and Alfred's shopping, the place was now stocked with those delectable treats that normal people coveted as comfort foods. Nikolas still wouldn't eat most of it, but he liked how happy it made his girlfriend and son.

Shifting the phone from one ear to the other, Nadine allowed the car to speed up as she accelerated up the hill. By the time the car came over the peak, she knew that it was too late. Her first instinct was to slam on the breaks, which sent the car into an immediate tailspin. Water from an overflowing creek spilled out across the little-used road. The sedan hydroplaned, and before she could manage to regain control, it hurdled toward a light pole. Nikolas heard a single terrified scream followed by screeching tires. Seconds later, the line went eerily silent before going dead altogether.

"Oh, God," he muttered to himself as he struggled to redial the phone. Tears welled immediately in his coffee brown eyes, making it hard for him to focus on the blurring numbers. The line rang once before going straight to voicemail. Her cheerful greeting encouraged him to leave a message. Nikolas redialed immediately and cursed angrily when he got the same prompt. He tried once more as he ran down the stairs even though he knew it was useless. "Norma! Norma!"

The grandmotherly nanny came sprinting out into the hallway at the frantic scream of her employer. His eyes were already red and swollen as he scavenged through a drawer for his spare set of keys. "Mr. Cassadine, what is it?" she asked worriedly, peering at him with concern over the edge of her reading glasses. She held the top to Spencer's costume in her hand.

"Nadine was in an accident. I know that you were supposed to be off tonight to go see your grandchildren, but I need you to stay here until I get back," he pleaded desperately. "Call 911 and tell them to start looking for her on the road." He held up the keychain in triumph as he jogged toward the stairs. He didn't even bother to wait for the nanny to agree to stay. He knew that she would since it was an emergency. His feet pounded against the steps until he landed in the foyer. It took him less than two minutes to make it out to the garage, start the engine and head out onto the main road. He knew that Nadine had to be somewhere between the house and bridge by now. "Please, God, let her be alright."

He repeated his prayer like a mantra, forcing himself to focus on the road and maintain a reasonable speed despite the adrenaline pumping through his frazzled body. The car started to slide slightly as he went down the hill, reminding him that he needed to take it a little slower if he wanted to make it to her. He had to make it to her. He knew that tonight was Halloween. He knew what happened one year ago tonight. He relived it every single day of his life. He would not go through that again, not tonight or any other night. He would make it to Nadine and this nightmare would be over.

Flashing lights greeted Nikolas as he came around the next bend. He could see a single person standing over the wreckage of Nadine's car as he pulled his own car to a stop. The police cruiser's blaring sirens filled the air, barely managing to drown out the unsettling sounds of wind, rain and thunder. As he slipped out of the car and ran toward where Nadine's car was smashed into the pole, he was relieved to see his brother. "Lucky!" he screamed, his voice barely audible over the storm. "We have to get her out of there!"

Lucky grabbed hold of his brother's arm and pulled him away from the smashed car. "I checked on her Nikolas. She's still breathing. We can't move her in case she has internal injuries," he ordered, his voice booming and authoritative. Nikolas pushed his brother away and rushed to the smashed window, reaching through the shards of grass to touch her face. "Nikolas, the ambulance is on its way. I was headed out to Wyndamere when I found her. Just sit tight, they'll be here soon."

Nikolas wanted to scream at his brother, demand that he just shut up and help him. However, he knew that there was a good chance that moving Nadine could cause more harm than good. The only thing he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and kiss her back to life. "Hang on, baby, I'm right here," he pleaded desperately. He could barely stand to look at her beautiful face. The deep gash on her forehead was bleeding as she lay there unconscious. There was a lot of blood, too much blood. "Nadine, stay with me, okay? Please, just stay with me."

Yanking the receiver out of its cradle inside the police cruiser, Lucky watched in pain as his brother anguished at Nadine's side. He could hear his panicked pleas. "Get someone here now!" Lucky demanded into the radio. He threw the receiver back into his seat as the wailing sirens sounded in the distance, announcing the arrival of an ambulance and a fire truck.

Moments later, a team of paramedics were unloading equipment from the red and white vehicle. One of the men rushed forward and knelt by the side of the car, carefully pushing Nikolas out of his way so that he could tend to the patient. Nikolas listened as they rattled off numbers, wanting to know what they meant but unable to voice any of his questions. "Come on, Nikolas," Lucky prodded him gently. "Give them room to work."

"I can't get the door open!" another of the paramedics called out. "We need some help over here!" Lucky held onto his brother's arm as a trio of firefighters went to work trying to pry the metal door open. When they couldn't manage to get it open, they resorted to pulling it off using some piece of equipment. Nadine almost fell out of the car as the metal was thrown aside. The pair of EMTs sprung into action.

"There is a lot of blood," one of the men pointed out to the other. The man nodded as they tried to negotiate a backboard behind Nadine's lifeless body. "We're going to lift her on my count." The men counted to three in unison before pulling her free from the wreckage. One of the paramedics checked her vital signs again while the other barked them into their cell phone. "We'll try to stabilize her on the way to the hospital. Have the emergency room ready."

Nikolas broke free of his brother's tight grip and rushed forward. "I'm going with you," he told the EMTs. The men exchanged a questioningly look before granting their permission. They quickly and efficiently managed to load Nadine into the ambulance, leaving just enough room for Nikolas to join them. He heard Lucky promise to meet him at the hospital just as the doors slammed shut.

The ride to General Hospital was a whirlwind. Nikolas could barely focus as the paramedics worked. He tried to ignore the blood, their constantly screaming of figures, everything else but her face. He must have said a million prayers in those few short miles, and before he knew it, they were screeching to a halt outside the doors of the ER. Epiphany and Leyla were waiting outside with Patrick Drake and Matt Hunter. He knew that they had no idea who the patient was going to be until he jumped out of the vehicle. Leyla's eyes widened in panic as she caught sight of Nikolas. "No," she stated matter-of-factly. "No. No. No!"

"Leyla, get yourself together," Epiphany instructed her calmly as she started the process of brining her patient in. One of the hardest things for any nurse or doctor is to disconnect themselves from a grave situation, but it was also one of the most important things. "What do we have?"

The paramedics started to repeat the latest round of statistics to the General Hospital team as they rushed into the building. Nikolas knew enough from helping Emily study to know that they weren't good. Her pulse was weak and she wasn't breathing properly. She'd obviously lost a lot of blood and she was still completely unresponsive. "Let's get her into OR 1," Patrick demanded as they moved the gurney down the hallway. "Nikolas, you have to wait out here."

"No, I'm going in with her," he insisted. "I am not leaving Nadine. She needs me to be with her."

"Mr. Cassadine, the best thing you can do for Ms. Crowell is to wait out here," Epiphany told him. Her eyes softened slightly as she saw the petrified look blazing in his eyes. "Nikolas, we are going to do everything we can to make sure she's alright. Just stay here and we'll let you know as soon as we can." The doctors started to file into the room when Epiphany stopped Leyla. "You can't be in there. You're too close."

"We're all too close!" she argued back. "That is one of our own. She's my best friend. I want in."

Epiphany didn't back down as she called for another of the nurses and pulled the door shut firmly. Nikolas reached out for Robin Scorpio's arm as she slipped by them. "It's Nadine," he told her. "Take care of her."

"I will," Robin promised before heading into the operating room.

Nikolas pounded his fist against the wall in frustration as he started to pace across the waiting room. Just as he was about to start hitting pretty much everything in sight, a breathless Elizabeth stepped out of the elevator. "Nik!" she cried out as she came rushing into his arms. He pulled his close friend into his arms and buried his face in her hair. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, just as she had the night they had found Emily. Exactly one year ago today, she had held him as he fell apart over losing her best friend. Now, she feared that she was holding him as he lost the only person who had made him smile in the past year.

"Elizabeth," he sobbed. His voice was broken as he struggled to breathe. His breath was stunted as he gulped for air. "I shouldn't have called her. It was raining…" She smoothed her hand over his hair, willing her own tears not to come. "There was so much blood. She wouldn't open her eyes. I can't…"

"You won't," she promised. "We won't."

Elizabeth managed to pull his heavy body toward the couch and sit down in the private lounge reserved for the families of ICU patients. Leyla was silent as she took a chair in the corner, her face buried in her hands. These were the people that Nadine called her family. With Lucky due to arrive any minute, this was pretty much everyone that mattered to her. "I love her, Liz," Nikolas said finally. "I can't lose her."

"Nik, come on, Nadine wouldn't want you to think like that," she reminded him patiently. She wasn't sure how she was managing to do this considering the fear radiating through her body. Nadine had become one of her best friends over these past few weeks as the blonde nurse's relationship grew with Nikolas. However, he needed her to be strong right now. She could break down later when Lucky got there. Until then, she had to be there for Nikolas. "Take a deep breath and focus on that." He wanted to follow his friend's advice, but the only thing he could see was her lifeless, bloody body spilling out of the car. "I am going to go see what I can find out."

Elizabeth reluctantly let go of Nikolas so that she could go check in at the nurse's station. Before she left the room, her eyes darted over to Leyla. The beautiful nurse vacated her seat in the corner to come over to Nikolas. She reached for his hand and looked up into his eyes. She knew that they mirrored her own fear. "Nadine loves you so much, Nikolas," she said. "Now that she finally with you, she isn't going to give up now."

He ignored Leyla's words as he kept his eyes fixed on the door. He could see Elizabeth talking to someone at the desk as Lucky came rushing off the elevator. His brother caught his ex-wife in his arms as the brunette broke down in tears. They spoke to each other for a minute before looking at him through the small window in the door. Still holding on tightly to his hand, Elizabeth and Lucky came into the private room and said the only thing he did not want to hear right now.

"Nikolas, I am so sorry."


	29. Chapter 29

With four simple words, Nikolas Cassadine felt his entire world stop spinning on its axis. He had been in this place too many times, listening to someone apologize to him when they showed up to deliver the bad news. He'd watched too many women slip through his fingers in his short lifetime, from his own mother that he barely had the chance to know to the mother of his own son to the love he'd believed would endure the rest of his life. Now, sitting in a stifling waiting room at General Hospital, he was listening to his brother and one of his closest friends search for the right words to tell him that he was losing someone again.

"No!" He wasn't sure where the protestation came from, but before he knew it, he was on his feet. He refused to accept what Elizabeth and Lucky were trying to tell him. He was not going to lose Nadine. She had forced him to stay here and be with his family when he wanted to leave. Now that the tables were turned, he was not about to lose her. She was going to get through this and be the wife and mother Nikolas and Spencer needed her to be. "I need to see her. Where is she at? Take me to see her now."

"Nikolas, you need to listen to me," Elizabeth said carefully, resting her hand on his shoulder. She looked down at him with the same concerned eyes as she had in the days following Emily's funeral. He hated that look because he knew what it represented – compassion, empathy and pity. He didn't need those things from her. He just needed answers. "I was trying to tell you that they took Nadine into surgery. I was apologizing because they couldn't tell me anything else."

Lucky stood beside his ex-wife holding her hand tightly while she delivered the news to his brother. He had never seen Nikolas look so completely broken and shattered. His heart went out to him. He had been in his brother's position, waiting in a hospital to hear word if the woman he loved was going to live or die. The memory of watching Elizabeth struggle with a recovery of her own made him reach out and pull her closer to him. She looked up at him startled but nestled her head against his shoulder for comfort.

Raking his fingers through his hair, Nikolas started to pace up and down the length of the small waiting room. He felt so restless. "I have to get out of here. I have my cell phone on me. Call me if there is any word," he called over his shoulder as he headed out of the room. He wasn't sure where he was going; he just knew that he couldn't do any good sitting in that room without Nadine. He needed to feel close to her. An idea popped into his head as he headed for the elevator. After a quick stop at the gift shop, he headed up to the pediatrics floor.

He remembered Nadine talking about one of her patients last week. It had been a particularly trying day for her at the hospital, and she had returned to Wyndamere emotionally spent. He had held her on the couch while she talked about the little girl who was fighting terminal brain cancer. She had wept openly as she told him stories about Haley's tenacity and bright smile. That was exactly where he needed to be right now. He knew that Nadine would like that this is where he was. It's something she would have done herself.

"Hello, Haley," Nikolas called from the open doorway of her joint room. The little girl looked up at him with a bright smile and waved her hand for him to come into the room. Her bald head was covered with a bright pink handkerchief to match her plaid pajamas. There were stuffed animals and balloons and homemade cards all over her small space. "I know that you don't know me, but I'm a friend of Nadine's. I thought I would come down and visit you."

"You're Prince Nikolas!" the little girl exclaimed suddenly. She would have recognized him anywhere with his coal black hair, glittering brown eyes and caramel skin. He looked just like the picture that Nadine kept tucked in her tote bag. She's showed it to her last week after they'd gone down for another scan. "Nadine told me all about you. She said that you have your own island and that you live in a big castle. You even have your own horses, right?"

Nikolas grinned at the little girl's energy, not believing that she could possibly be dying. "Yes, I have a full stable of horses. Nadine just helped me pick out a new pony for my son a few weeks ago. I'm still not sure what I am going to name it. Maybe you can help us pick something out," he offered to her. "She has black and white spots."

Haley tapped the side of her head in deep contemplation. "I think you should name her Mayflower," she decided. "That was always my favorite story when I still got to go to school. My dad promised me that when I got better I could get a dog and name her that. I don't think that's going to happen now, so maybe you could do it for me. I think Spencer would like that."

Apparently Nadine had told Haley a lot about their life together as she even knew the name of his little boy. "Mayflower is a wonderful name," he agreed. "So, I come bearing gifts. I remember Nadine telling me that you loved dogs, actually, so I thought that I would bring this by to you. I saw it, and it reminded me of you."

Taking the lavender gift bag from him, Haley smiled excitedly as she pulled the oversized stuffed dog out. The dog was soft and a golden yellow, much like the Labrador she had seen once in a book. "Thank you very much, Prince Nikolas," the girl said softly as she squeezed the dog. He only nodded and told her that there was more. Haley pushed away the tissue paper to reveal a pair of hardback books. "I have wanted to get some new books. They never put new material on the reading cart."

"Tell me about. When I was in here with my tumor this spring, Nadine was always trying to pass the same magazines and books off on me," he commiserated. "I used to bribe my brother and sister to sneak me in contraband."

Haley smiled knowingly before asking him the inevitable question. "You had a tumor too? Were you sick like me?" she asked him. "That must be how you met Nadine. That's kind of sweet when you think about it. The Prince met and fell in love with the nurse as she took care of him. That'd make a nice fairytale."

He had to agree, their story did have a ring of fate to it. She had come into his life at exactly the right time when he needed her. "I didn't have cancer, but I did have a brain tumor. I was ready to give up on treatment when Nadine reminded me that I had a lot to live for. She was the one who convinced me to have the surgery that I needed so that I could stay around and be a father to my son. If it wasn't for her, I don't think that I would be here today. She was my saving grace."

"Nadine has helped me a lot, too. I mean, my case is a little different. There isn't really much they can do to help me at this point, but she makes it better. She comes and sits with me every day, even if she isn't working. She's always bringing me little things or coming to tell me about something that you did for her," Haley told him. Wisdom shone in her baby blue eyes, showing that she knew much more than her ten years should have given her. "I guess I get to kind of live through her. I don't really have a lot of friends anymore since they quit visiting me. It's just my parents and me. She's been like my sister and my best friend wrapped up in one."

"Well, I can tell you from experience that she makes a pretty incredible best friend. I know that she thinks quite a bit of you, too. She is always talking about her favorite patient," Nikolas revealed. "Of course, you can't tell anyone that. She might get in trouble if Epiphany ever found out that she plays favorites!"

The little girl shivered at the thought of the wrath of Epiphany. The matronly nurse was forever getting after the nurses, must to the entertainment of the kids in pediatrics. They loved watched her fume, joking that steam sometimes actually came out of her ears. "Speaking of Nadine, where is she? I know she worked earlier, but she told me that she was going home to hang out with you and Spencer. If you're here, she must be around here somewhere."

Nikolas looked down at the floor, trying to decide whether he should tell Haley the truth or if he should keep it from her. She was mature enough to understand, but a part of him wanted to protect her like the little girl that she still very much was. Just as he was about to tell her about the accident, his cell phone rang from inside his pocket. "I'm sorry, will you excuse me?" he asked politely before slipping into the hallway. "Lucky, what is it?"

"You need to come back down here. Patrick just got out of surgery, and he won't tell us anything until you're present," Lucky told his brother. "He also won't let anyone see her until you come back either. You better hurry because Leyla is demanding to see her best friend."

"I'll be there in just a minute," he promised. Nikolas hung up the phone without saying goodbye to his brother. He stuck his head back into Haley's room. "That was my brother. I have to go take care of something important. I will come by later and visit some more."

"Thank you for my presents, Nikolas," she called out to him from her bed. She held the stuffed dog to her chest in a tight embrace. "Bring Nadine with you next time. I have to see the way you smile at her. She is always talking about it."

The little girl's unknown confession was enough to bring a smile to Nikolas' face. He had managed to temporarily forget anything bad for the few minutes that he was with her. He now could understand the magic that she had, something that Nadine spoke of frequently. She had told him that no matter how bad her day was, she only needed to spend a few minutes with Haley and everything suddenly got better. Whether it put her blessings in perspective or just brought a smile to her face, he didn't know. He just knew that there was a certain truth to Haley's so-called magic.

However, whatever happiness he had felt with Haley suddenly evaporated as he returned to the waiting room. A stoic Leyla sat frozen in the corner, her eyes lowered as she stared at her tennis shoes. Lucky and Elizabeth were speaking quietly to Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake in the corner. Nikolas caught his brother's eye as he came into the room. Before he came over to join the group, Nikolas went over to Leyla and knelt down at her side. "Leyla, can you come over and listen to Patrick with me? I don't know this medical stuff as well as you, and I know that Nadine would want you to know what is going on," he asked softly. "Afterwards, we'll go in and see her. She's going to get through this."

Leyla looked at the Cassadine prince gratefully, accepting the hand that he was holding out to her. She had never doubted why her best friend had fallen in love with the man, but for the first time, she fully understood and appreciated what a good man he truly was. The two made their way over to the group, which immediately stopped talking when Nikolas cleared his throat. "Please, just tell me the truth."

Robin exchanged a worried look with Patrick before turning back to her friend. "I'm not going to lie to you, Nikolas. The surgery went as well as it could have, but Nadine is still in a very touch-and-go situation. She lost a lot of blood in a very short time. One of her lungs collapsed and had to be repaired. Her heart stopped for several seconds, but we were able to stabilize her. She still hasn't regain consciousness. The next 24 hours will be very crucial. We should know a lot more when she wakes up."

Nikolas covered his face with his hands and sighed deeply. "Is she breathing on her own?" he asked warily. "Was there any kind of paralysis or brain damage?"

"Nikolas, we really won't know a lot of those things until she wakes up," Patrick reminded him. "For now, you should know that she is breathing without a respirator, which is a very good sign. We're administering pain medication so that she is comfortable and are monitoring all over vitals around the clock. Nadine is getting the best possible care."

"I want to see her."

"I figured you would," Robin nodded as she started to guide the foursome out of the room. Leyla and Nikolas led the way with Lucky and Elizabeth in toe. "She's still in ICU so she can only have one visitor at a time. Who wants to go in first?"

"You can go," Nikolas told Leyla politely, even though he was dying to see Nadine. He needed to sit beside her and hold her hand to see that she was fine, but the gentleman in him needed to remember his manners. Even in the midst of tragedy, his good upbringing still dictated putting others first. Stefan would have been proud.

"Absolutely not," Leyla protested as they arrived outside Nadine's room. "She might be my best friend, but she is in love with you. You're the first person she would want to see. I can wait my turn."

Nikolas smiled at her gratefully, "Thank you." He turned and looked through the glass window into her room. There were too many tubes and machines attached to her body. They had just been in this situation. It wasn't fair that this was happening to them again. They were just finding their life together, and now, it was possible that it could all be ripped out away from them. Shaking his head, he could almost hear her reminding him to be optimistic. He had to believe.

"Oh, baby," he breathed as he came to her side and reached for her hand. The constant beeping of her heart monitor was the only sound in the room. He looked down at the blonde angel, once again asking how this could be happening to them. He pulled the chair over to the edge of the bed and sat down, never letting go of her fingers. Just as he had sat with her weeks ago after the fire, Nikolas laid his head against her arm and listened to her breathe. "I shouldn't have called you. I am so sorry…"

Tears started to stream down his face as he held onto what little part of her he could touch. He wanted nothing more than to crawl up in the bed and hold her as he had been blessed to do every night since she had come home from this place. Even if he was in the same room with her, he couldn't imagine missing someone more. "There was something I was going to tell you tonight. I love you so much, you know," he confessed to the quiet room. He couldn't tell her tonight like he had wanted to, but she still needed to know. He had to believe that she could hear him on some level. "I was going to tell you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I was going to ask you to consider adopting Spencer and being my wife. I want us to be a family, Nadine, do you hear me? Did you hear that? You have a family to come back to. You can't let us down now that you've finally given me the life I was meant to live."

He had hoped that his confession to her would be enough to wake her from her spell, much like a simple kiss had woken Sleeping Beauty. She was more beautiful than any fairytale princess he had ever seen, and like Haley had said, their love was one of storybooks. However, reality was still very much apart of their current situation, and Nadine wasn't going to just wake up because he had declared his intentions for their future together. The only thing he could do was sit at her side, hold her hand and keep saying his prayers. She was going to come back to him, and they were going to live the life together that they were meant to live.

Lucky and Elizabeth stood alone in the hallway, watching their closest friend hold onto a woman he clearly loved very much. The three of them shouldn't have to be there again. They shouldn't have to struggle with the thought of losing another of their own. Elizabeth looked up at Lucky with tears shining in her doe eyes. He wiped them away carefully with the pads of his thumb before leaning down to press his forehead to hers. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," she confessed in a whisper. "All of the past, it just doesn't matter when it comes down to it, does it?"

"I love you, Elizabeth Spencer," he proclaimed softly, framing her beautiful face in his palms. "No matter what has happened or what will happen, nothing will ever change that. You are the great love of my life. I'm just sorry that it took this happening to remind me of that."

Elizabeth offered him only a soft smile as she slid her arms around his waist and allowed him to hold her. It felt safe to be in his arms again. "I love you, Lucky Spencer," she promised. "Nothing has ever changed that, and nothing ever will. It didn't take this happening to remind me of that. I've never forgotten it."

He laid a kiss atop her soft hair and held her tighter to him as he watched his brother over the top of her head. "She is going to make it, she has to," Lucky said sadly. "He won't lose her; we won't lose her. The four of us are going to raise our kids together. Emily sent her to us. She's not about to let anyone take her away."

The two of them held onto each other as they turned to look back at Nikolas sitting vigil at Nadine's side. They couldn't hear the words that he was saying, only that he was talking to her. Elizabeth felt her heart break as she watched him bring Nadine's lifeless hand up to his hands and brush a kiss over her fingertips. She could see the tears flowing unabashedly down his handsome face as Robin and Patrick reappeared in the hallway. Patrick slipped his arm around Robin's waist as the four of them watched the couple through the window. "He really loves her," Patrick mused softly.

"Yeah, he does," Robin agreed. She felt tears welling in her own eyes. It was usually easy to disconnect herself from a situation, but she couldn't do it when she watching two people she cared about immensely face something like this. "Nadine saved Nikolas' life when she cared about him enough to make him want to live. Let's just hope that his love can have the same magic."

Leyla had returned from calling Kelly and Lainey just as Robin had started talking. Her eyes were frozen on her best friend and the man who loved her. "Nadine just got everything that she wanted. There is no way she is going to give up a fight. Their love will get her through this. I know it will."

Inside the room, Nikolas couldn't hear any of his friends' conversations. He could only hear her voice in his head, imploring him to believe in their love and keep holding on. "I'm not letting go," he promised as he squeezed her hand. "I will not let you go."


	30. Chapter 30

Leyla pulled her soft terrycloth hoodie tighter around her slim body as she slipped out of Nadine's private room and headed down the hallway toward the private waiting room where the majority of her visitors were still waiting. It had been nearly twelve hours since Nadine had been brought into General Hospital and eight since she had gotten out of surgery. In that time, nearly everyone on the staff who worked with Nadine had been by to look in on the blonde nurse. Lucky, Lulu, Elizabeth, Alexis and Sam had also each stopped by to check on her and show their support for Nikolas. Every minute that someone wasn't by Nadine's side, Nikolas or Leyla insisted that at least one of them be in there with her. Neither of them could stand the idea of her being alone even for a moment. However, as the hours wore on, Patrick had finally put his foot down and insisted that her room be closed off from visitors for awhile. The staff needed time to attend to her and run a few tests, while Leyla and Nikolas just needed time to rest. Nikolas had started to argue at first until a patient Elizabeth had intervened.

She wasn't at all surprised to find Nikolas sitting in the middle of a row of people when she came back into the room. Flanked by his brother and Elizabeth on one side and Lulu and Alexis on the other, he was the appearance of polite listening. However, she could tell from the exhaustion in his coffee eyes that he wasn't really with them. His mind, much like his heart, lay in that room with Nadine. "Patrick is going in now to start administering some of the tests. He said that he would come down to talk to you as soon as he knows anything," she informed Nikolas softly. He nodded and smiled at her automatically, leaving her wondering if he had really heard her at all. "I'm going to run over to Nadine's apartment and pick up a few things that she might want when she wakes up. I could go out to Wyndamere to get anything for her or you that you'd like here."

"Thank you, we would both really appreciate that," Nikolas retorted as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He had called to check on Spencer a few hours ago, and Norma had assured him that he was asleep and unaware of the night's events. "I will call out to the house to have Alfred gather a few things for you. Leyla, I appreciate everything that you have done for us tonight. I know that Nadine considers you to be like a sister to her. She would be glad that you've been here."

Nikolas watched as the Persian beauty walked out of the hospital like a determined woman on a mission. After a quick call to Wyndamere for Alfred to gather some of the things he would need at the hospital, he leaned back in his chair and allowed his eyes to drift shut for the first time in hours. His body was physically tired, but his mind wouldn't stop racing long enough to allow sleep to come. He didn't want to fall asleep anyways. He knew that as soon as he did, there was a chance that Nadine could wake up. It was a moment that he didn't want to miss. The only thing he had been praying for since he'd shown up at the hospital tonight was for her to open her sky blue eyes and look at him. He needed to see the same adoring gaze that he'd reveled in only a few weeks prior in Texas. He needed something good to take home to Spencer.

"Nik, it's obvious that you're not sleeping and likely won't be any time soon. What do you say that we go for a walk so that you can buy me a cup of coffee?" Lulu asked kindly. Her eyes shone with a yearning to help him, mirroring the way his mother used to look at him. Lucky had gone by Shadybrook to sign her out so that she could be at the hospital with them. She was far from perfect, but her mental health was improving. She told them that it helped her when she was able to help them. "We've been here for hours. I don't know about you, but I could use a change of scenery."

He didn't really feel like going anywhere, but he could sense that his sister needed to help him. She probably needed to get out of the waiting room, too. She had never been a big fan of hospitals and after being trapped in a facility for the last several weeks, she deserved to enjoy her limited freedom. "Sure, the caffeine would probably help my body catch up with my mind," he reasoned as he stood up from his chair and glanced at his brother. "You want to walk with us?"

Lucky looked over at Elizabeth questioningly. She nodded silently in return before shifting her attention back to the parenting magazine open on her lap. "Yeah, I could use a cup of coffee and the walk," he agreed. Lucky grabbed his phone and tucked into the pocket of his jeans. "Call us the minute Patrick gets up here if we're not back."

Elizabeth promised that she would before waving them off dismissively. Lulu slipped her arm through Nikolas' as they headed toward the solarium that overlooked the glittering lights of Port Charles. Nikolas had the addition built in Courtney's name shortly after she died. It was a place that he rarely visited anymore but knew would hold a meaning for Spencer someday. The three siblings sat down side by side on the couch. Their original destination might have been the hospital cafeteria, but Nikolas had led them here. Whenever things got too hard, he always looked toward the lights of the city for comfort. They were the one thing that had been the same since had lived here. He could see the Metrocourt standing out like a crown jewel as well as sweeping illumination of Spoon Island.

"There is something that I need to tell you both."

Lulu exchanged a worried look with Lucky. The two of them had been through everything together since the day that she was born. She could read his mind as easily as she could read Johnny's. Whatever was going on with Nikolas clearly concerned Lucky. Nikolas had lost so much, they all three had. It was a delicate balance every time someone new came into or left their lives. It was clear that this situation had quickly taken a toll on Nikolas. However, she noticed for the first time how tired Lucky was. "What is it, Nik?" she asked with concern. "You know that we're here."

"Before the accident happened tonight, I was going to ask Nadine to marry me," he confessed. He hadn't told anyone outright what his plans had been, but now that they had been delayed, he felt like talking to his family about it. "A year ago tonight, I asked Emily to marry me. Twelve months later, on the night I was going to propose to Nadine, she's lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Either fate has a very cruel sense of humor or the Cassadine curse is alive and well."

Reaching down for his hand, Lulu held her brother's gaze firmly. She had grown up in the shadow of the Spencer-Cassadine feud, the link that held the two families together after Nikolas had saved her life as a small child. No one had ever forgotten that she was the reason the truth had come out in the first place, leaving her feeling responsible in a strange way. "There is no such thing as a curse. Accidents happen all the time. You can't blame yourself for what happened tonight anymore than you can blame yourself for Emily's murder. Neither of them would want you to do that."

"How can I ask her to marry me when every woman that I love only ends up hurt?" he asked as tears started to well up in his eyes. Since the earliest days of his relationship with Nadine, Nikolas had constantly worried that something would happen to her because of him. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophesy, but he felt responsible. "I love Nadine as much as I ever loved Emily, only in a very different way. Emily suffered so much because of me. I don't want to see her suffer the same fate."

"Nikolas, nothing would ever hurt Nadine as much as not being with you. That girl is completely in love with you. We all loved Em, but we know that it wasn't your fault that she was killed. It's not fair to Nadine to keep her away just because she was in an accident. Car wrecks happen all the time. I'm a cop, trust me. The pavement was wet and the driving conditions were awful. I've worked a lot of accidents at the same spot this year alone. It's just something that happened. It's not a sign."

Nikolas shook his head adamantly. He believed in tradition, in curses, in signs. There was a certain danger that went with being associated with the Cassadine family. He had tried to get Nadine to see it but she had refused. She had loved him too much to believe what he knew to be true. "It's not an easy thing for me to need anyone," he sighed. "After Emily, I promised that I would never become that vulnerable again. I vowed to never give so much of my heart to anyone. I was doing just fine at that until I met Nadine. She was this force to be reckoned with. No matter how much I wanted to give up, she refused to let me. I didn't make the choice to fall in love with her, I just did it. I didn't want to but my heart didn't care."

Lulu leaned her head on his shoulder and squeezed his arm. She had felt much like Nikolas did for a long time after the abortion. Losing Dillon had been like losing a part of herself, even if he didn't die. She hadn't wanted to fall in love again, so she had chosen a safe relationship with Logan. Of course, that hadn't exactly ended up being safe, and before she knew it, she found herself in the arms of someone that she couldn't help but fall in love with. Some people said that was what had led her to go crazy, but she knew that loving Johnny was what kept her sane. Nikolas could have completely lost his mind after Emily died, but finding what he had found with Nadine had kept him grounded despite the tumor. "Nik, what can I do?"

Turning to his sister, Nikolas found the strength to really smile for the first time in hours. "Just being here helps, Lu," he proclaimed softly before looking over at his brother. "Really, thank both of you for being here through all of this. You have your own lives to worry about, so I just want to make sure you all know how much I appreciate your being here with me. I'm not sure that I could get through this without you."

"Sometimes the things we need the most are the needs that are hardest for us to accept," Lucky offered. "It's not like you to want us to put our lives on hold to help you. Maybe that's why it was so hard for you when you started to feel anything for Nadine. We've all three been there. Do you think I want to be in this same pattern with Elizabeth? Lulu knows how dangerous Johnny can be. You were set on living your life in the shadow of Emily's death. Each time, love didn't care what we wanted. It had its own plan. That's what we need to get all of this. No matter what is going on, love always prevails."

"Love never fails," Lulu recited knowingly. "Mom used to read those verses to me when I was a little girl. That chapter of Corinthians was her favorite. It tells all these virtues of love and about its unconditional qualities. I never really understood what that meant before now, you know? I thought I did because I saw how much my dad loved my mom, Lucky loved Elizabeth, you loved Emily. Feeling it for myself, though, it makes it real. It's there with Johnny and me just as much as it's still there between Lucky and Liz. You had that with Emily, and you have a different version of that with Nadine. You're lucky, Nikolas, you get to have more than one great love. So many people don't even get one."

"I am the oldest, shouldn't I be the wisest?" Nikolas chuckled as he looked between his two siblings. He had often been the one to dispense advice and be supportive to his younger brother and sister. However, on the rare occasion where he found himself needing the support, Lucky and Lulu had always shown up for him. They had been at his side in the wake of Emily's death a year ago, and tonight, they were there helping him hold onto Nadine. "You guys, I'm ready to go back. I need to see her."

The three siblings walked back quickly. Lulu and Lucky left Nikolas alone and returned to the waiting room while he headed for the ICU. He didn't even bother to check in at the nurses' desk as he slipped down the hallway for her room. Patrick was outside pouring over a clipboard. "I don't have any results yet."

"That's fine. That's not why I came down here. I just need to sit with her. I know that you said that she needs to rest, but Nadine would want me here. She'll be stronger with me by her side," Nikolas insisted evenly. They both knew that it wasn't really up for debate. Nikolas was going to in there to sit with her. Patrick finally nodded his permission before returning his attention to the charts. Nikolas came into the room that he had come to know all too well and pulled the door shut firmly behind him. "I just went for a long walk with Lucky and Lu. I started thinking about what happened a year ago and I got scared. I started to buy into all the melodrama that I fought so hard to get past. And then they reminded me why I wanted to get past that in the first place."

Nikolas slid his hand in Nadine's and held it against his beating heart. Her fingers were cool and lifeless in his hand, but he could still feel her presence somehow. "You were the reason, Nadine. Nothing can change that, not even the ghosts that still haunt me," he promised. "I wanted more for us than what I thought I could give you, and now that we're together, I know that I can give you that. I _will_ give you that. We are going to get married when you wake up. I know that you can't answer me right now, but I guess that's okay because I already know you're answer. I know that this is what you want."

He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box and flipped it open. "This ring has been in my family for four generations. It's the one thing that I have from my mother's family that really means anything. Most of my things are just Cassadine relics, but this one was from Laura," he smiled as he lifted the ring out of the box. The soft lights from the dim overhead lamp caught the diamond and sent dancing fractures across the wall. He took her hand and slid the ring over her slender fingers carefully. "When you wake up, this is the first thing that I want you to see."


	31. Chapter 31

Twenty-four hours had come and gone, and the sky was once again a startling shade of black as Nikolas sat alone in Nadine's room at General Hospital. Friends and family had filed in and out off and on all day, waiting for word that she had finally woken up. However, each one was met with the disappointing news that she was still unconscious and went away with a promise that they would receive a call should her condition change. Lucky and Lulu had been there most of the day, taking turns trying to entertain their brother who didn't seem to want to talk to anyone. The only time he even left Nadine's side was when Leyla came to visit or when one of the doctors made him. After a lot of convincing from Elizabeth, he'd finally gone back to Wyndamere for a few hours that afternoon to change his clothes and have lunch with Spencer. Afterwards, he'd brought his son back to town to stay with Lesley and returned to the hospital to resume his quiet vigil over the woman that he loved.

All of the lights were off in the room as he sat awkwardly in the chair, carefully studying her face. Even the slightest spasm on her placid features was enough to stir up a hopeful burst of energy in his heart. It was hard to sit here hour after hour waiting for her to wake up. There were still a million questions they needed answers about her condition. Patrick grew more and more restless with every passing hour. Nikolas had been around the hospital enough to know that things only became bleaker with time. Robin had tried to convince him that Nadine's body was just trying to give itself enough time to rest, but they both knew that it was a vain attempt at comfort. If she didn't wake up soon, there was a good chance that she might not wake up again. They had given him the same news the night of the hospital, and he knew that they were trying to avoid giving it to him again.

Nikolas looked up into the hallway and saw an exhausted Leyla dressed in soft pink scrubs. Her face was pensive and he knew that she was trying to decide whether or not to interrupt his visit so that she could spend the last few minutes of her break with her best friend. He brought Nadine's hand up to his lips and brushed a hopeful kiss over her fingertips. "I'll be back soon," he promised before slipping out into the hallway. Leyla smiled at him bravely before peering over his shoulder into the room. "Why don't you sit with her for awhile? I think I could use some fresh air. I'm just going to go up on the roof for awhile. Take your time."

"Thank you," she replied kindly before letting herself into Nadine's room. Nikolas watched her for a minute as she took the chair he had occupied moments before. He had admittedly not known Leyla all that well before all of this had happened, and now that it had, he felt like he should take the time to get to know her better. She was someone that meant a lot to Nadine and would likely be in his life for a very long time. When Nadine was home and feeling stronger, he would have Leyla, Kelly, Lainey, Robin and Elizabeth out to the house for a meal with the girls. They were the people that cared about her, and their approval suddenly meant a lot to him.

The brisk air of late autumn hit his face instantly as he stepped out onto the roof. This place was the site of many rendezvous for him in the past, but none of those memories were there to keep him warm tonight. For the first time in a very long time, it didn't remind him of getting caught in the rain with Courtney or making Emily late for work when her breaks ran a little bit over. His mind wasn't on what he had lost but on all that he had gained. There was a woman downstairs wearing a ring that meant pretty much everything to him in the world. It was something he had never given to Katherine or Gia or Lydia or Emily or Courtney. No, that ring was something he had been saving just for Nadine. It was as if his heart had always known that someone was going to come along who would change everything. In a way that no one ever had or could, Nadine had done that.

Nikolas could still be brooding when things didn't go his way. He was incredibly stuck in his ways, wrought in family tradition and bureaucratic protocol. He could be incredibly snobbish when it came to some things, and he never let his emotions show when manners were at play. However, when he was with Nadine, he somehow managed to let all of that go. Turning his face to the stars, he whispered a prayer that with or without her, he'd remember what she had said to him in Texas. He would remember their first dance on the terrace. He would remember the first time they had made love and what it felt like when she'd held him while he cried that first night at her apartment. He wanted to remember seeing her hold his son and chasing her through the woods on his horse. He wanted to remember all of it because the past few months had been among the happiest of his life.

"Hey, I thought that I might find you up here," a familiar voice called. Nikolas turned around and found his aunt coming across the roof toward him. The district attorney looking tired and worn out from a day's work of protecting their fair city from a certain element, but she managed to put on a face of loving support for the sake of her nephew. "Sam still has the girls, so I thought I would come by to check on you."

He took one of the cups of coffee she held out gratefully and took a long drink to warm up his shivering body. Nikolas hadn't grabbed his coat, and he had suddenly realized he was a lot colder than he thought he was. "Thanks, you didn't have to come by. I know that you have a lot on your plate with everything that is going on right now."

Alexis studied Nikolas for a moment before taking the cup of coffee from him. She sat it on the edge of the building and pulled him into a hug. She could see the walls that he had built up around his heart for the sake of self-preservation. However, as perhaps the only other living person who could understand what it meant to grow up Cassadine, she refused to let him think that he needed to do this on his own. "I am right here, Nikolas," she murmured softly as she hugged him tightly. "I know that you think you have to be strong, but you don't have to pretend with me. It's okay to let me in."

"I broke down on Lucky and Lulu earlier. The last thing I want to do is let anyone else see me like this," he whispered, trying his best to keep the tears back. He was physically, mentally and emotionally worn out from the events of the last day and so much of what had happened in the last year. Nadine was usually the place he went to when everything became too much, but he couldn't do that right now. Maybe it was time that he finally let Alexis be the mother to him that he had long considered her to be. "I just want her to wake up. I keep waiting for her to open her eyes. It's been over 24 hours. I know that's not a good sign. She has to come back to me."

"It was almost two years ago when the doctors told me that I didn't have long to live. They didn't think that I could beat cancer, and you know what, I almost believed them. I mean, my life was a wreck. My daughter had slept with my husband. Another of my daughters was traumatized when she saw her own sister kill a man right in front of her. I could barely function, let alone be the parent that I needed to be. I was ready to give up," Alexis reminded him. "Then Jax showed up to my house one day when I was feeling at my absolute worst. I had tried so hard to be strong for so long, and the last thing I wanted to do was let anyone see me breakdown. But you know what? That was exactly what I needed. I needed to cry every last tear and have someone tell me that it was okay to feel these things. Being my best friend, Jax did that."

Nikolas looked at her sharply, wondering if she wanted him to sob uncontrollably and admit all the fears that lurked in the depths of his mind. If that was her reason for coming here, she had wasted her time. However, by the way his aunt was looking at him, he could see that her intentions were very different. "Look, I'm not telling you this because I think that you need to find that in me," she explained. "In fact, the only person I think that you need to tell these things to is the one person who may not be able to hear you. What I really wanted you to see was that Nadine was that person for you once. No one could get through to you after Emily died, but she somehow managed to make you hear her. You let yourself be vulnerable to her, and in the process, you found someone who is going to love you for the rest of your life."

"Everyone keeps telling me how much Nadine loves me. I know that she loves me. I've seen the way that she looks at me. I've felt the way she kisses me. I've heard the breathless way she whispers my name when I surprise her. That's not why I am scared. I mean, sure, I don't want to lose her but that's not what scares me the most," he confessed. For the first time, he was finally going to explain why he had been so quiet. It wasn't just the proposal that had gone unsaid, there were many things Nadine needed to hear. "I'm scared that I am never going to have the chance to let her know how much I love her. I need to know that she sees how I look at her, that she feels something when I kiss her, that she hears the astonishment in my voice every time I realize how damn lucky I am to have this woman be in love with me."

"Oh, Nikolas, she knows. Trust me, she knows," Alexis assured him as she gathered him back in her arms. His entire body was wracked with sobs. "Even if Nadine never wakes up, she knows that."

"I am going to ask her to marry me when she wakes up. I put the ring on her finger last night. I want it to be the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes," he told Alexis. She was the first person he told that he had actually taken the next step. The others only knew that it was a likely possibility. "I'm also going to ask her to adopt Spencer. I don't think that I can afford to wait. I'd appreciate it if you could get started on the paperwork as soon as possible so that things can be underway when she comes home."

Alexis nodded thoughtfully as she pulled away from Nikolas. She had known that after their conversation the night of the dinner that it was only a matter of time before he made all of this formal and permanent. "I've already drawn up some preliminary papers. I will file them in the morning. It will take some time, but I will do my best to expedite the process," she promised. "Is there anything else that you want me to work on?"

"Actually, yes," he decided. He had been thinking about some things for awhile, and there were a lot of precautions he needed to take when it came to Spencer's future. "We, more than anyone, know how fragile life can be. I want Nadine to have Spencer if anything is to ever happen to me. Elizabeth and Lucky should be co-guardians if something was to happen to make that impossible."

His aunt was rambling in about the legalities of the adoption process when Leyla burst on to the roof. "Patrick needs to see you, Nikolas!" she called from the doorway, her words strained as she tried to catch her breath. "He is downstairs with Robin waiting for you outside of Nadine's room. They have test results to go over."

Nikolas sprinted past his aunt and Leyla as he headed for the staircase. He took the steps two at a time and jogged through the quiet corridor toward the ICU. He didn't even pay any attention as an aggravated Epiphany yelled at him to slow down. He just wanted to hear whatever it was that Patrick and Robin had to say. They were waiting for him together when he finally made it to her room. Neither of their faces gave any indication whether the news was good or back, which was unsettling to say the least. He had been hoping to gauge their faces to see what he should prepare himself for. "Leyla said that you needed to see me."

"Why don't you come into my office?" Patrick asked formally as he nodded toward the end of the hallway where his private suite was. Nikolas looked at Nadine still asleep in her room but agreed to come with the doctors. When they were all settled on the uncomfortable hospital-issued furniture, Patrick got down to business. "We have been monitoring Nadine's brain activity for the past 24 hours. The results are very good. While we cannot say for total certainty until she is awake, I don't think that we are looking at any significant damage."

Relief washed over his body. Patrick continued to talk, giving him numbers and statistics from the various tests she had undergone in the past several hours. Her body was stronger than it had been when she was admitted. Her heart was beating at a more regular pace, and her respiration rate was exactly where it needed to be. "There are still a lot of unknowns here, but things are much better than anyone could have expected them to be," Robin told him. "I have every reason to be optimistic that Nadine will make a full recovery. Things could still go wrong, but until we know, I am going to believe that will not happen."

His dear friend had never been one for optimism but falling in love and having a child had changed her in the best possible way. "Thank you, Robin," he smiled. "Actually, thanks to both of you. You have done a wonderful job taking care of Nadine. I really appreciate how far you and the staff have gone to accommodate everyone and the treatment that she has received."

"We are just doing our jobs," Patrick reminded him. "Besides, if it was one of us in there, Nadine would be the first one to give us the best treatment possible. She is an important part of this hospital, not just as a nurse but also as a friend."

"A very good friend," Robin emphasized. "I can hardly believe that it wasn't all that long ago that I was going shopping with her to pick out the perfect dress for a date with you. Now look at you guys! We're very happy for you both."

Nikolas was about to excuse himself so that he could return to Nadine's room when Patrick received a page from one of the patients' rooms. Patrick glanced over at the lit switchboard with a confused look on his face. "I wonder who is in there with Nadine."

"Alexis and Leyla are both here, it's probably one of them," Nikolas shrugged as the three of them filed out of the room. Patrick was pretty quick, but Nikolas was quicker. He was worried that they had paged the doctor because it may mean something was wrong. However, when they came upon the room, the lights were still out and no one was waiting in the hallway. Nikolas went into the room and was shocked to find Nadine sitting up in the bed. "Nadine? Baby?" Her wide blue eyes met his across the room as he rushed to her side. She tried to open her mouth to say something but the tube in her throat prevented it.

Patrick started to go into the room to examine her when Robin grabbed his wrist. "Give them a minute," she ordered. She shook her head adamantly when he started to protest. "Let them be."

Nikolas pressed a kiss to her forehead and brushed her hair back from her face. Tears were falling freely down his face as he looked her over, still in disbelief that she was awake. "I knew that you would come back to me," he whispered. She smiled at him and reached out her right hand for him to hold. He squeezed her fingers and enjoyed the fact that she could return the gesture. "I love you." She shook her head to indicate that she knew and that she loved him too. "Do you remember what happened?"

She shook her head and shrugged. They had told him that there was a possibility that she would have no recollection of the accident. At least she wasn't afraid. She seemed dazed but fairly aware of her surroundings. "Okay, I hate to break this up, but we really need to start some tests so that we can check Nadine out," Patrick announced despite another round of pleas from Robin. "Nikolas, I'm going to have to ask you to step out for a minute."

Nadine started to wave her hands around frantically. She hit her palm in frustration against the tray that lay over her bed. She kept trying to say something but her voice still wasn't there. Finally, Robin caught onto what she was trying to do and produced a pen and paper so that she could write it out. Nadine looked over at Nikolas as she jotted a something down on the notepad. Then, she held up her left hand and looked at him with a bemused smile on her face. The only word written on the page was "yes."


	32. Chapter 32

It took almost a week of intensive testing, endless scans and long meetings with doctors before Patrick Drake could decisively say that Nadine hadn't suffered any brain damage. Still, Nikolas had refused to accept his first opinion and had called in a pair of specialists from New York City. While Patrick would have been somewhat offended that Nikolas didn't trust his expertise under ordinary circumstances, he felt it was important that everyone be as educated as possible when it came to Nadine's health. The entire hospital staff had been apart of working her case, wanting the best possible outcome for their fellow coworker. Finally, when the two neurosurgeons had confirmed each of Patrick's diagnoses, the hospital was satisfied enough to move Nadine out of the Intensive Care Unit and into a private suite in the long-term recovery wing.

Nikolas had been at Nadine's side every step of the way, playing the doting fiancée and supportive confidant. He listened to everything that Patrick had to say and repeated it back to her later when she was too tired to pay attention. He helped feed her meals when she was too stubborn to choke down a few bites because of the nausea brought on her pain medications. He held her hand while she slept and told her stories when she couldn't sleep and sat with her in silence when she didn't know she felt. He allowed her time alone when the girls came by to visit and brought her fresh flowers every morning when he returned from Wyndamere and decorated the wall next to her bed with the countless cards Spencer made for her. He was doing everything he could to keep it together and keep her going. It was tiresome to just go through the motion but until he was able to bring her home, this was what he had to do.

Today was the first time he had been able to bring Spencer to the hospital to see her, and they were all three anxious to say the least. Until this point, no one knew that Nikolas had officially asked Nadine to marry him and that she had accepted. There were people who knew that he was going to ask, but no one knew that she had already given him his answer. She was insistent that she didn't want the fact that she was in the hospital to put a damper on what should be a very happy occasion. He had wanted to shout it from the rooftops and share it with everyone they knew. However, it was more important that she was happy, and it was kind of nice to have a little secret just between the two of them. However, with Spencer's visit to the hospital, he had every intention of expanding their inner circle to three.

"Daddy, I want to see Nadine. Can we go in, please? Can we, can we, can we?" Nikolas smiled down at his little boy, who was bouncing excitedly on his heels as he tried to look up into the window in anticipation. He wasn't quite tall enough to see into her room, so he couldn't see that Patrick was still in there going over her latest round of vital signs.

Nikolas reached down and scooped Spencer into his arms so that he could see through the window. "There she is," he murmured as they looked into the room. Nadine was smiling brightly, completely oblivious of their presence, as she listened to Patrick and Robin tell her something. Nikolas glanced at his little boy's smile and felt his heart swell even more. "You know that Nadine can't wait to see you, Buddy. You're all she had been talking about all week."

"I've missed her," he admitted as he pressed his head tiredly against his father's shoulder. He had woken up before the sun was even up in anticipation of seeing Nadine. It was rare that the little boy didn't have to be dragged out of bed, and the only time he actually managed to get up early was on Christmas morning. "When do you think she will get to come back home? Winter is almost here. She has to be home in time to ride horses with us when it snows."

"I'm not sure when she is going to get to come home, but I know that she is going to do everything she can to get back to us as soon as she can," he assured the little boy as Robin came out into the hallway. She was nearly ready to give birth and was in her last days before her scheduled delivery. He could see all the emotions of an expectant mother shining in her eyes as she looked at Spencer. "Hey, Robin, you're looking absolutely radiant. How are you feeling?"

"Ready," she smiled kindly, reaching up to ruffle Spencer's hair affectionately. The little boy grinned at her toothily before burying his face in his father's shoulder. "You can go in as soon as Patrick is finished. Nadine is doing great."

Nikolas nodded at her gratefully before she waddled down the hallway. He was still watching after his friend when he felt his son yanking at his shirt sleeve. "Look, Daddy, Nadine sees us!" he exclaimed, pointing to the window. He peered inside to see Nadine waving excitedly at them to come in. He grinned at her and was about to push the door open when Spencer wiggled out of his arms. He sprinted after the rambunctious toddler into the room, barely missing Patrick as Spencer lunged himself onto the bed. "Nadine!"

"Sweetie!" she murmured excitedly as she wrapped her arms around the little boy. She carefully maneuvered his body away from her tubes and monitors so that she could hold him more comfortably. "I have missed you so much, Spence. I'm really glad you got to come see me."

"Daddy told me that you were sick and that if I came to see you, you might get better faster. Do you think it's working already?" he asked innocently, peering up at her with those same glimmering chocolate eyes that had captured her the first time Nikolas had held her gaze across a room. Nadine nodded thoughtfully as Nikolas came over to the bed and bent down to kiss her forehead. She caught him by the collar just as he was about to pull away and brought his mouth back to hers in a real kiss. "Ew, Daddy!"

"Oh, you're just jealous because I'm not paying attention to you, my love," Nadine teased as she smothered Spencer little face with kisses. He giggled and tried to squirm away from her. The three of them were so wrapped up in their own little world that they didn't even notice when Patrick slipped out of the room. Nikolas finally managed to pull Spencer off the bed and settled him in his lap as he took the chair next to the bed. "So, Spencer, what have you been doing while I've been gone? Your daddy has been bringing me all your cards."

Spencer looked up at the wall of his artwork proudly. "Daddy is letting me take art lessons," he told her. "Aunt Elizabeth is taking Cam and me to the school where they have classes. There are lots of kids my age."

Nadine smiled at Nikolas approvingly. They had talked a lot about the need to socialize Spencer with children other than his family, especially kids that may not be quite up to his social standing. He had been reluctant at first, apprehensive that people would tease him for being different. However, when Elizabeth had suggested the art classes that Cameron had been taking, he had jumped at the chance to let his son actually be a normal kid. "Maybe I can come with you some time when I get home."

"Yeah, that would be fun!" he grinned. "When are you going to get home? Daddy said it would be a long time. How long is a long time?"

"We're not sure yet, Buddy," Nikolas answered for her, looking at her sadly over Spencer's head. He was just as anxious as his son was for her to come home. It was lonely spending nights in his bed without her. He missed being able to just hold her like he wanted to. "We're just going to have to be patient and let Nadine's body heal like it's supposed to."

"In the mean time, I think we have something that we want to talk to you about," Nadine told him. She had been thinking about how she was going to approach this for awhile, and rather than plan it all out in her head, she decided just to jump right in the middle of it. "Your daddy and I have made a big decision that we're very happy about, but we want you to know that you are the most important part of it."

Spencer looked up at his father in confusion. Nikolas adjusted his son in his lap so that he could look into Spencer's eyes. He knew that this was perplexing for the little boy, especially when he didn't always understand it. "If you are okay with it, Nadine and I would like to get married, Buddy," he explained. "We would like the three of us to really be a family."

He looked over at Nadine first and then up at Nikolas and then back to Nadine. "But we're already a family," he shrugged. "I don't understand."

"This would just be more permanent, Spence," Nadine attempted to explain to him. She reached out her arms so that the little boy could crawl up on the bed next to her. "Your daddy and I love each other, but we love you even more. It's important that we get married so that everyone can see how much we all mean to each other. Does that make more sense?"

"Not really, but will there be cake?" he asked. Nikolas laughed and nodded. "Well, Nadine always says that you can't go wrong with cake! It sounds like a good idea to me."

Nikolas came over to sit on the foot of the bed with his fiancée and son. "There's actually a little bit more. Like Nadine said, we both love you very much," he reminded his son. "Well, I was wondering what you would think about Nadine adopting you. I'm not sure if you know what that means, but that means she would be like your mom."

Spencer looked down at his little hands and frowned for the first time all day. As much as he loved Nadine, he wasn't sure how that made him feel. "What about Mommy?" he asked innocently. "And Emily? If Nadine is my mommy, do I have to stop loving them?"

"Oh, Buddy, of course not," Nikolas murmured as he brought Spencer into his arms for a tight hug. It broke his heart to hear that question. "Your mommy loved you very much, just like Emily did. They would want you to be taken care of and loved. Just because you love Nadine, it doesn't mean that you have to stop loving them. No one could ever take their place in your heart or in mine. Thankfully, our hearts are big enough for Nadine to have a place all of her own."

"Listen, Spence, I don't want to replace your mom or Emily. I know how much they mean to you and your dad," she said as she took Nikolas' hand. "I just want the chance to raise you with your dad. I love you just like you're my son already, so why not make it official?"

He thought about this for a moment before looking up. "Okay!" he decided before being smashed in the middle of a hug from both Nikolas and Nadine. "Ow, Daddy, you're squishing me."

"Sorry," Nikolas giggled as he pulled back. There was a knock on the door, and the new Cassadine family turned to look at their unexpected visitor. Elizabeth came in, freshly changed from her shift, with Cameron and Jake in toe. "Well, well, well, look who's here."

"We were just going to go over to Kelly's for some ice cream with Lucky, and Cameron heard from Aunt Bobbie that Spencer was here. We thought we'd see if he wanted to come with us," Elizabeth offered. "I know how boring it can be to be stuck in the hospital. What do you say?"

Spencer leapt off the bed and raced over to play with Cam and Jake. "Sure, I think that would be a good idea," Nikolas agreed as he stood up to greet his longtime friend with a hug. He whispered his thanks in her ear before going over to hug his son. "Tell Nadine bye."

"Bye, Nadine!" he called from the corner before chasing Cameron out into the hallway. Jake followed, eliciting an exhausted sigh from Elizabeth. She shrugged at her friends before sprinting into the corridor after the kids. Nikolas could hear their laughter fading down the hallway, bringing a peaceful smile to his face. He finally had everything he wanted.

Once Spencer was gone, Nikolas shifted up in the bed so that he could hold Nadine in his arms. She nestled against him instinctively as she tucked her head into the hallow of his shoulder. "Nik, there is something else I need to tell you."

He looked down at her worriedly. He knew that Patrick had been in there with her for a long time, so it was possible that she had gotten some bad news. "Whatever it is, Nadine, you know that you can tell me," he assured her as he brushed a kiss over the top of her head. "It's like we were telling Spencer earlier. You and I are a family now. Whatever happens, we're in it together. You're not ever going to have to go through anything alone ever again as long as I'm around."

With everything going on right now, Nadine really needed to hear that news. The last thing she had expected when Patrick showed up at her room today with the results of her latest tests was what he had told her. His ominous news changed everything. "Patrick ran a few tests on me this morning after they spotted some irregularities in one of my scans yesterday. They're not really sure why they didn't catch it when they ran one when I was admitted to the hospital the night of the crash."

Nikolas felt his heart sink to the bottom of his feet and his clutch on Nadine tightened. Tears were sparkling in her baby blue eyes, and he could tell that she was genuinely terrified of whatever she was going to tell him. "Baby, it's okay," he murmured as he stroked her back soothingly. "Please, whatever it is, you just need to tell me."

"Well, they wanted to go back into do some repair work on my lung. I mean, I have been healing pretty well, so they thought that I might be strong enough to have surgery now," she told him. "So, that's what tests they were running, I guess. They just needed to know if my body was capable of enduring the stress of going under the knife. It was just this ordinary protocol of tests that I've probably ran thousands of times. They checked my heart, my blood pressure, you know, the normal things."

He knew that her heart had undergone a lot the night of the accident and that the doctors had been closely monitoring her. They had been worried about her having a stroke in those first twenty-four hours after she had woken up. "Is it your heart then?"

She shook her head while Nikolas wiped away the tears. She reached up and covered his hands with her own as he cradled her face. "Not exactly," she managed through the tears. "Nikolas, I'm pregnant."

Time seemed to stand still as Nadine finally told him what she had been trying to tell him. He had only heard those words once, and the result of that was his beautiful son. "Wait, what? How? Why didn't they catch it?"

"They're really not sure," she answered. "I'm not sure if there was a mix-up in the lab or if it was still too early to tell. I'm only three weeks along, not very far. If Patrick hadn't run the test one more time just as a precaution, I'm not sure when we would have found out."

Nikolas raked his fingers through his hair before covering his mouth. He wasn't sure what to say or what to do. The last thing he had expected was to find out that he was going to be a father again. He had come in here thinking that they were going to plan their new life together, and now, she had thrown him a curveball that told him his future was going to include expanding their happy family of three to four. "Wow, we're having a baby," he said finally before leaning down to kiss her. He took her lips unapologetically, wanting to kiss her so that every ounce of doubt in her melted away. "I love you so much."

"But we didn't plan this," she worried. "I mean, Nikolas, I don't want you to think I did this on purpose. We were so careful. I never meant for this to happen. It's not that I haven't thought about having kids with you, I just thought that it would be someday in the future. Way in the future, you know, after we got married at least and maybe after Spencer was a little bit older and I was further along in my career. Don't think that I am just going to live off your money either. I promise that I am going to go back to work as soon as I can, pregnant or not. Oh, my gosh! What are people going to say when they find out that we're engaged?!? They're going to think that you only proposed because I got knocked up! We're going to be _that_ couple. This is not how I wanted to start our future…"

He stopped her in mid-rant with another reassuringly soulful kiss. "I don't care what anyone thinks about this other than you and me," he professed as he pulled away. He looked down at her with reassuring love in his unwavering gaze. "Maybe this isn't what we planned, but I don't think that we really planned on ending up in the first place. Nadine, I'm so incredibly in love with you, and I knew that we would have children together some day. So what if it is going to happen sooner than we planned? I want this baby. I already love this baby."

"You do?" she whimpered through her tears. Nikolas nodded silently as he tucked hair behind her ear. "Nikolas, I was so scared that you would be upset. I know what this looks like. You're always telling me that appearances matter to the Cassadines."

"Not anymore. This is what matters," he emphasized as he took her hand and placed it over her flat abdomen. "Our new family is what matters."


	33. Chapter 33

It took two weeks of recovery at General Hospital and four weeks of outpatient physical therapy before Nadine was released from the care of Patrick Drake. She was still required to visit specialists on a routine basis to have the progress of her healing lung monitored, but by the time she was three months pregnant, she could barely tell that she had endured that horrible car accident the night of Halloween. The only real change in her life, in fact, was the hired chauffer that Nikolas insisted drive her everywhere that she needed to go because he just couldn't risk the chance that something could happen to her again. While there was a still risk every single time she slipped into the buttery leather backseat of the town car he had bought just for her use, he felt better knowing that there was a professional watching over his soon-to-be wife and child.

Their engagement had been formally announced the night of her welcome home party at Wyndamere, which was attended only by their closest friends and family. Many of Nadine's colleagues from the hospital were there, including her closest girlfriends, Leyla, Kelly and Lainey. Robin and Patrick had brought newborn Emma out for her first visit to Spoon Island. Elizabeth had shown up on Lucky's arm with Cameron in Jake in toe while Lulu managed to drag Johnny out for their first family event as an official couple. Alexis had shown up with Jax and the girls. Even Monica had come over to Wyndamere to share in the joyous occasion, something that meant quite a lot to Nikolas. Everyone had been overjoyed at their announcement, and the festivities had quickly turned into an impromptu engagement party with a glowing Nadine right in the middle of it.

Nikolas had spent hours preparing just the right menu for the night, wanting to pay tribute to her Texan roots. There had been plenty of southern fair along with a few signature Greek dishes that spoke of his own heritage. They had danced the night away with Spencer between them. After everyone had gone home and the new Cassadine family was alone, they had sat their son down to tell him of his pending sibling. He had been timid at first but eventually warmed up to the idea when he thought about having a playmate to chase around the giant mausoleum they called home. Nikolas and Nadine had told Lucky and Leyla first, followed by Elizabeth, Alexis and Lulu. The formal announcement was made a few days later when embossed cards were hand delivered by Nikolas' social secretary. It had been a surprise to most people to say the least.

Soon plans were under way for the wedding, starting with a date to be set. It had taken hours of scouring the calendar to find a suitable date before they had settled on Nadine's first suggestion. She wanted to get married in the spring and hadn't particularly cared how much she was showing. Nikolas would have pretty much agreed to anything she wanted by the end of the conversation because really when it came down to it, he just wanted to marry her. Nadine had wanted a small affair from the beginning, but by the time they counted up all his social obligations and her needs at the hospital, they had quickly realized that things were spirally out of control.

The search for her wedding dress had been a long and torturous process, especially as she started to grow in her pregnancy. Even though she enjoyed carrying their child, there were still days where her hormones got the best of her and she couldn't help but bemoan her ever-expanding waistline. Leyla, Elizabeth, Kelly and Lainey had all had to endure tearful phone calls as she met with the various seamstresses and dressmakers that Nikolas sent to Spoon Island to help her. Finally, she had settled on just the selection that defined both her personal style and the theme of their big day. After a little convincing, Nikolas had agreed to find something that would compliment her attire, and that part of the wedding was set.

When it came time to choose the wedding party, Nikolas and Nadine had flirted with everything from having several people stand up with them to only having Spencer. In the end, they had settled on a compromise that made both of them happy. Lucky would stand up as best man and Leyla had been asked to be the maid of honor. Spencer would also stand up with them, but they didn't want anything as formal as a ring bearer or flower girl. They just wanted their best friends and the most important person in their life to stand up as witnesses to their joyous union. Anything else just wouldn't have been them.

Nikolas Cassadine and Nadine Crowell were married in an outdoor ceremony on May 1 on the Wyndamere estate on Spoon Island. With the freshly budding trees of the clearing serving as the overhand, their closest friends and immediate family had been seated in white folding chairs as Nikolas and Nadine made their commitment to each other. She had worn her favorite jeans with an elastic band sewn into the waist, a white peasant maternity top and bare feet. Nikolas had worn dark denim jeans and a white button-up shirt. Lucky and Leyla had worn similar outfits only with pale blue shirts. The girls carried bouquets of wild violets, lilacs and sweet williams. All of the music was provided by a single violinist, who had played the same waltz that Nikolas and Nadine had first danced to that night on the terrace.

The ceremony had been short and traditional, followed by an outdoor picnic beneath white gauzy tents in the gardens near the stables. By the time the sun had set, they were all dancing on the makeshift dance floor beneath the twinkling white lights to Nadine's favorite mix of pop, soul and country songs. During the traditional mother-son dance, Nikolas had swept a proud Alexis around the floor, not once regretting that his aunt was there when Laura could not be. She had been a mother to him in every way that counted, and he couldn't imagine anyone else sharing in that moment with him. In lieu of the father-daughter dance, Lucky had asked his new sister-in-law to dance in order to show her that she was really apart of the family.

As the night had grown to a close, there were still a few traditions that Nadine insisted be apart of their wedding. Though she hadn't worn a garter, Nikolas had still pulled one from her jean-clad thigh and thrown it into the crowd toward Patrick's direction, a reminder that the two of them still need to get married after their last failed attempt. For her part, Nadine had thrown her bouquet directly to Elizabeth in hopes of sparking a little good luck for the newly reunited Spencer couple. Elizabeth had hugged her afterwards and whispered into her ear, "We will be sisters soon."

Nikolas and Nadine had decided not to go anywhere for their honeymoon because she really didn't feel like traveling and Nikolas didn't want her to be too far from her doctors. Elizabeth and Lucky had offered to keep Spencer for the night, but the newly married couple had refused. They couldn't imagine starting their first night as a married couple without having their son in the house. The three of them had stayed up until past midnight eating wedding cake until Spencer had finally collapsed in his father's lap. After the little boy was tucked into his bed, Nikolas and Nadine had made love all night until falling into a deep and peaceful slumber in each other's arms. Later on, they would both agree that the day had been exactly what they had wanted.

Nadine was well into her seventh month when the wedding happened, so once the ceremony was finished, preparations began on the nursery. She had selected a small and cozy room just down the hall from the suite she now shared with Nikolas. It also happened to be right across from Spencer's room. Since she couldn't really do too much of the work and Nikolas didn't exactly have those skills, a designer and decorator had been brought into realize her vision. It started out as a little-used guestroom but was quickly transformed into the dream nursery for any little girl or boy. She had gone gender-neutral since they had decided not to find out what they were having and had selected a theme centering on rocking horses. The love of horses was something the entire family shared and had been one of the things that had first brought them together. The centerpiece of the room was a hand carved rocking horse that Nikolas had custom made for her using wood from Spoon Island. She had cried for nearly an hour when he had given it to her.

As she moved into her eighth month, Nadine finally had to give up working at the hospital as much as it pained her. She enjoyed spending time with the kids in pediatrics and seeing normal people that didn't bow down to her every whim at home. The girls made sure to come out to Wyndamere several times a week to keep her filled in on all the latest gossip since she couldn't come in and see them every day. Leyla, Elizabeth, Lainey, Kelly and Robin had all become regular fixtures at the mansion much to the joy of both Nikolas and Nadine. They also had frequent dinners with Lucky, Elizabeth, Lulu, Johnny, Alexis, Jax and all the kids.

Nadine found it boring to stay home all the time, though she enjoyed the time that she got to spend with Spencer. He was excited about the impending arrival of his little brother or sister and would spend hours talking, singing and reading to Nadine's swollen stomach. Nikolas would always watch them with this proud smile that just screamed, "That's my family." He would catch her eye across the room or over Spencer's head and just have to thank God right then and there for the incredible life he had been given.

It's not to say that things were perfect between them all the time. Nikolas was doting sometimes to the point of being overbearing, closely monitoring everything she did and ate. She knew that he was only trying to be protective because he loved her and the baby so much, but it still irritated Nadine when he would bring her fresh vegetables and a class of milk rather than the chips and soda she had asked for. However, he would make up for it later when he would rub her swollen feet or tell her that she was the most beautiful girl in the world or surprise her with something new for the baby's room. He was around most of the time now, working out of the house as much as he could and keeping his business travel down to a bare minimum. When he was gone for more than a day or two, he would convince Elizabeth or Leyla to come out and stay with her. Nadine never liked when he was gone but enjoyed having her girlfriends around. It became like a little slumber party.

Nadine's water finally broke a week past her due date on a bright sunny afternoon when she had been sitting on the terrace watching Nikolas and Spencer play in the newly opened swimming pool below. It had been nearly 100 degrees that day, and her mood had been irritated all day. That irritation was heightened tenfold once the contractions started, and it had taken the ambulance less than fifteen minutes to make it out to the house after Nikolas had held the receiver up to her screaming mouth. Lulu was sent out to Wyndamere to stay with Alfred and Spencer so that Nikolas could come in town with her in the ambulance. Leyla, Lucky and Elizabeth showed up a few minutes after Nadine was admitted to the maternity ward and sat patiently in the waiting room until an exhausted Nikolas came out to announce that their baby was finally there.

Raylen Alexa Cassadine was born at 4:23 in the afternoon on July 11 after three hours of labor. It only took a few minutes for Dr. Kelly Lee to declare that the baby was perfectly healthy and set the swaddled bundle of joy into her mother's arms. Nadine and Nikolas had sat in quiet awe of their daughter as she slept peacefully in the chenille pink throw that Epiphany had set aside for the special little girl. With coat black hair like her father's and shocking blue eyes like her mother's, they were both fairly convinced that she was the most beautiful girl who had ever been born at General Hospital, let alone anywhere. She had been named in honor of Nadine's Aunt Raylene, the person who perhaps shaped her life more than anyone, and Alexis, the strongest woman that Nikolas had ever known.

Two hours later, Leyla had been the first person to hold the little girl other than her parents. As she smiled down on her goddaughter, she couldn't help but believe that her entire life had been designed just so she could smile down on this beautiful godsend. Lucky and Elizabeth had visited shortly after when Lucky had accepted the role as godfather. Alexis had smiled down on her namesake and promised the same promise she had given Nikolas on the day that he was born, one she still came through on every single day. The parade of visitors after that became a blur as Raylen was taken to the nursery so that her many admirers could view her through the large glass window.

Lulu had brought an exuberant Spencer early the next morning, and the little boy couldn't wait to hold his tiny little sister. Nikolas had held both of them in his lap, showing Spencer how to hold Raylen's head. Once Spencer had grown bored of playing with the baby, he had snuggled up against Nikolas' shoulder and fallen asleep. By the time Nadine returned from getting a shower with the aid of Leyla, she was pleasantly surprised to find the father asleep with both children in his arms as they sat together in the rocking chair brought into her private birthing room.

Three days after she had given birth, Nadine was rolled out of the hospital in a wheel chair by Nikolas with a sleeping Raylen in her arms and a behaved Spencer at her side. She had insisted that they go home alone so that they could have a few days of quiet before any visitors came by. It had pained all of the baby's many admirers to wait that long to see the little beauty again, so once the allotted time frame had passed, Wyndamere was once again filled with a stream of visitors. Instead of gifts, Nadine had asked for donations that she could give to the hospital. The only thing she had kept from any of the gifts was a soft teddy bear that Kristina and Molly had picked out, a crocheted sleeper made by Leyla and a monogrammed receiving blanket from Lucky, Elizabeth, Cameron and Jake.

A month after Raylen was born, Nikolas and Nadine took their children for their first horseback ride as a family. While Nadine still wasn't feeling up to mounting her horse and was not about to take a infant anywhere like that, Nikolas had arranged for a carriage to take her out to clearing while he and Spencer followed behind on the pony and Sheeba. They'd had a quiet picnic on a soft blanket that ended with a nap for both of the kids beneath the shade of the overhanging trees. As they watched Spencer snore from Nadine's lap and Raylen dozed on Nikolas' shoulder, the two of them leaned across the blanket and kissed briefly before whispering a declaration of love to one another. As they pulled apart, Nikolas watched as the clouds parted so that the sun could illuminate the sky surrounding them. Just like that, he realized that he had finally put the darkness of the last two years behind him. She had brought him back to life and into the light.

_Fin._

_Into the Light has truly been a labor of love over the past several months, driven mostly by the kind reviews of my beloved readers and the inspiration that is Nikodine. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me, it's been a wonderful ride!_


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